The Matchbaker (A Romantic Comedy) (18 page)

“Uh, no,” I say, as if my aversion to sharing food with near-strangers should have been a given. “I just want to know about the elders.”

Joe smiles. “You’ve gone this long,” he says. “You can’t wait another ten seconds for me to savor my first bite?”

“Clearly not. Now tell me.”

“All right, all right.” He puts his fork on the plate, washes his chicken down with another swig of his drink, and then leans in, lowering his voice. “The elders are a group of magical and non-magical-but-in-the-know people who are basically here to keep us in check.”

“Us?”

“The next generation,” he clarifies. “One day, you, me, your sister, and a few others, will make up the group. But for now, we’re being watched.”

“Watched,” I repeat, not sure how I feel about this.

“Making sure we’re using our magic responsibly.”

I roll my eyes. “Great. I’ve barely been on the job for six weeks and I’ve already screwed up. Why don’t they tell us these things?”

“It’s a test of your character. Do you do the right thing because it’s the right thing? Or do you only do it because you’re afraid you’ll get caught?”

“I think we all know the answer to that one. I never would have done that to Colin if I had known I was being watched by the Secret Magic Society.” I cock my head and narrow my eyes. “Are you
sure
we’re not in a Harry Potter book? Because this is just way too…weird.”

Joe huffs. “This is
not
Harry Potter, I assure you. This is real life, not some storybook.”

“Sorry.” I hold up my hands. “Didn’t mean to offend.”

“Are you gonna eat your dinner?”

Weird segue, but he has a point. My gourmet mac & cheese has gone untouched. I take a bite, savoring every flavor: the bits of bacon, the thinly sliced mushrooms, and the array of cheeses—goat cheese, gruyere and mascarpone, according to the menu. But to my taste buds, it’s simply heaven.

“Good?” Joe asks.

I’m still chewing and savoring, so naturally I shush him. He honors my request for silence, and when I’m ready to engage in conversation again, I open my eyes.

“Yes,” I say, finally answering his question. “Divine.” Another moment of silence passes before I ask, “So, what do I do now?”

Joe shrugs, looking so calm and cool in his hoodie. “Get him into the shop for coffee. I’ll be there. I’ll make sure he gets what he needs. But…”

I tear away from my mac & cheese to look up at him. “But?”

He squirms a little. “Are you sure you want to break it? I mean, you must have a thing for this guy if you were willing to put a spell on him. What if he’s not into you once it’s broken?”

It’s a fair question—a very
good
question. And it’s not like I haven’t considered all of that myself. The Colin I fell in love with wasn’t the Colin who invaded my living room tonight.
That
Colin was easy to let go of. But what will happen when he’s back to normal? Will he capture my interest again? Will I feel that all-consuming jealousy I felt before when he was with my sister?

I take a sip of my beer. “I have to do the right thing,” I say. “I don’t know how I’ll feel when the spell is broken. Hell, I don’t even know how I feel right now.”

It’s when I say this that I realize how awkward this situation is. I have no idea if this is supposed to be a date or just magical friends talking about their magic powers. Either way, things have gotten weird. Joe’s gone all quiet on me, but I don’t know him well enough to know if he’s being moody or just thinking.

“But I’m bringing him in for coffee in the morning,” I finally finish. “I can’t let this go on any longer. I’ve made everyone in my life completely miserable.”

Joe gives me a half smile that sends a shot of relief through me. “I think you’ll be glad when it’s all over.”

“I hope so.”

“Should I get the check?”

I’m not eager for the evening to end, but there’s no way I could put anything else in my mouth at this point. I can feel the elastic waistband of my Juicy suit straining under the expansion of my stomach.

“Yeah, sure,” I say with a nonchalant shrug.

Neither of us says anything else while he pays the bill. It’s not until we’re out on the street in the chilly fall air that he speaks again.

“So…” The corners of his eyes get wrinkly as he scrunches up his face. It’s so adorable and boyish, I can’t help but smile back.

“So?” I get the sense he wants to ask me out again. Or maybe he wants to kiss me. I kind of want him to do both.

“Well, this was great,” he finally says. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Oh, um, yeah.” I’m taken a little off guard and I want to yell, “
Where’s my kiss?”
But somehow I refrain and simply say, “Thanks for dinner and…everything.”

There’s an uncomfortable moment where I’m pretty sure we’re both wondering what we’re supposed to do now. Hug? Wave goodbye? In the end, Joe balls his hand up and punches me playfully in the shoulder, and I suddenly feel like I’m back in the fifth grade. Maybe I should send him a note:
Do you like me? Check YES or NO.

“Have a good one, Candy.”

“Yeah, you too,” I reply as he walks away.

Eighteen

My alarm goes off way too early the next morning. I am so not in the mood to bake today. Or do anything, for that matter. The thought of taking Colin for coffee terrifies me. I wish I could just stay in bed with a pillow over my head all day.

“Good morning, sunshine!”

Oh, God. I groan at the chipper voice penetrating the basement windows. What is
wrong
with him? Oh, right. I put a spell on him.

“I brought you coffee!”

I sit up with a start.
Coffee?
Did I not say I’d
take
him to get coffee this morning? Crap!

Colin raps on the window, trying to get my attention, but I refuse to look at him.

“Candy!” he calls. “I’m here.”

I roll off the foldaway bed, being careful to keep the sheet wrapped around me since my tiny shorts and Playboy bunny tank top aren’t terribly appropriate. Not to mention, with all the weight I’ve gained, I’m pretty sure I look more like a poorly-stuffed sausage than a hot Playboy bunny.

He’s still calling out for me as I enter the bathroom and shut the door. This has got to stop. I wrack my brain and play out different scenarios as I shower and quickly ready myself for the day. When I’m done in the bathroom, I use the sheet to cover myself once again as I make my way to the dresser.

“Candy, can’t you hear me? I’ve been waiting out here for you! Look! Coffee!”

I finally dare to look. He’s holding up a cup of Starbucks coffee (which he had to go to the next town over to obtain) and grinning like an idiot. God, I’m such a horrible person. I turned one of the nicest, most normal guys into a clingy, pathetic lapdog.

I give him the thumbs up and then hold up my finger to indicate that I’ll just be a minute, before I trudge back to the bathroom to put on my clothes. This is getting annoying. I should be able to get dressed in my own room in private. But with any luck this will be the last time I have to do this.

A minute later, I reemerge, fully dressed for the day in another tracksuit with a plain white t-shirt underneath. I can practically feel last night’s mac & cheese straining against the flimsy white fabric. No way will I be able to take my jacket off today.

“You look beautiful!” Colin calls as I gather my purse and sunglasses.

I fling open the basement door. “Thanks, Colin. But what are you doing here?”

“You said we could have coffee together this morning.” He holds up the coffees and grins again.

“Colin,” I say as I lock the door behind me. “I said we could
go get
coffee. I didn’t mean for you to bring me one.”

“Oh,” Colin looks sadly at the cups, but doesn’t say anything else.

“It was really nice of you,” I pipe up, trying to rebuild his spirit. “It’s just…I
really
wanted something…frothy…from A Latte Joe’s.”

Colin squirms uncomfortably before he finally says, “Can I be honest with you?”

Oh, Lord. What’s going to come out of his addled brain? “Um, sure.”

“Ever since that Joe guy started working there, I…I…”

“Go on. What’s wrong with Joe?” My curiosity is piqued, of course. I’m dying to know what he has against the guy I went out on a date with last night. Or, whatever that was.

Colin takes a deep breath, filling up his chest and forcing his shoulders back. “I don’t like the way he looks at you.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“It’s like…he’s enamored, or something. He gets all moony-eyed and flirtatious whenever you’re around.”

Part of me wants to burst out laughing, and part of me is giddy that maybe Joe does have a thing for me. Or maybe he
did.
I feel like I might have ruined things last night, though I’m not sure how. It was a very confusing evening. Hopefully once I see Joe this pit in my stomach will go away. At least I’ll know where I stand.

At any rate, I don’t laugh
or
let on that I might be flattered by this news. Well, I try not to let on, at least. The longer I’m away from New York, the worse I get at my poker face. And I at least have to pretend that I’m into Colin right now.

“You’re imagining things,” I say. “Joe has no interest in me. Come on. I still want that frothy drink.”

Colin follows behind me to our cars and we agree to meet at work so we can walk to Joe’s together. I’m worried he’ll fill up on his Starbuck’s coffee before we get there, and then I’ll be completely screwed.

I’m about to hop in my car when I get sudden burst of inspiration.

“Wait!” I call out, halting Colin just before he reaches his driver side door.

He turns to look at me, his eyebrows raised. “Yes?”

Oh, God. “Um, I just…” I saunter to him with my most seductive walk, only it’s a little hard to be seductive on gravel. When I reach him, I throw my arms around his neck and whisper into his ear, “Thank you.”

“For what?” There’s confusion in his voice.

“For thinking of me,” I whisper back, letting my breath tickle his ear. But now is the moment.

I pull back abruptly, purposely knocking his coffee from his hand. The cup flips over, spraying lukewarm coffee on me just before it hits the ground. I look down at it, and notice, much to my horror, that the lid is still on and the cup in tact.

Crap
. I leave my shame at the door and deliberately stomp on the cup with my Prada tennis shoe. Coffee seeps through the fabric, but I can’t find it in me to care. I’ve saved the day—saved my life, Colin’s life
and
Holly’s life with this one, reckless move.

“Oh, no!” I cry. “I’m
so
sorry. Goodness, I’m so clumsy!”

Colin doesn’t seem to have noticed that I did it on purpose. He’s just saying over and over again, “It’s
all right
,” as he picks up the ruined cup from the driveway.

“Well, at least we already had plans to visit Joe’s, right?”

Hmm. Maybe I’ve pushed the issue too far. Colin’s eyes are narrowed on me again, but before I let him see how uncomfortable I am, I say, “Okay, see ya there!” and bound off to my car.

Once we park and drop our things at the bakery, we walk across the street together in the chilly morning air. I wrap my arms around myself as I take in the smell of burning leaves and consider getting something warm instead of frothy now. Maybe with pumpkin in it.

The door chimes as we walk through it, and Joe appears only a moment later. My breath catches. He looks even better than he did last night, which seems unfair. I’ve got sallow skin and bags under my eyes from going to bed past ten pm. He looks fresh as a daisy in his dark gray, long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans. 

“Morning, guys!” he says, a wide smile on his face. “What can I get for ya?”

Colin stares up at the menu board and Joe gives me a covert wink. My hands are balled into fists. God, I’m practically shaking. I take a deep breath, knowing it’ll all be over soon and I’ll be able to relax again.

“You know,” Colin says, turning to me. “I think I’ll pass.”

My heart seizes. So much so that I’m slightly worried I’m having a heart attack. “What? Why?” I blurt out, blinking wildly and resisting the urge to clutch my chest.

Colin shrugs as if it’s no big thing. “I drank most of the Starbucks. I’m good on caffeine for the day.”

“What about something caffeine-free?” I suggest. “You’ve got to have something. I mean…I’ll feel awkward if you don’t.”

“Nah. I’m good.”

I close my eyes. There’s only one way I’m going to get him to drink a coffee from Joe. It makes my stomach churn just to think of it, but I have no other choice. I look to Joe with a grimace, and then turn back to Colin. Pasting on a pouty look, I sidle up to him, grab his hand and say, “Pleeeeaaaase, Honey Bear. You know I hate to drink alone.”

I’m so close to his face right now, close enough to place a small peck on his cheek. A couple weeks ago I would have given anything to be this close to him, but now it just feels wrong. Especially with Joe looking on, which makes no sense at all since he’s made no moves on me whatsoever.

Colin laughs. “Alcohol, maybe,” he says. “But I think you can drink a coffee alone, can’t you?”

I bat my lashes at him hoping I resemble a sweet little kitten. “Come on. Just a small one. Please?”

There’s a long pause. So long it feels as if it’s stretching into eternity. I’m holding my breath and I can tell Joe is too, by the way his chest is puffed up and he’s turning a bit red. But finally Colin says, “All right. A hot tea, please.”

Joe visibly relaxes. “Coming right up! And what about you, Candy?”

“Small vanilla latte, please.”

Colin’s brow is furrowed when I turn back to him. “I thought you wanted something frothy.”

“I did,” I say, “but I changed my mind. It’s so chilly outside, I need something to warm me up.”

He looks from me to Joe and back again. “What’s going on here?”

I gulp. “What do you mean?” I reply, scoffing at him as if he’s lost his mind.

“I brought you a hot latte this morning that you wouldn’t drink.”

“I-I didn’t know it was a latte. You just said coffee.”

“You didn’t give me a chance. Just insisted we come here. To see
him.
”

“Not to see
him
,” I protest as I wrack my brain with ways to diffuse the situation. “To sit down and have coffee with
you.
I didn’t want to just drink coffee in my living room. I can do that anytime.”

“Candy. What. Is. Going. On?”

Joe interrupts us, shoving our drinks forward on the counter. “You’re all set, guys.”

“What do I owe you?” I ask.

Joe holds up his hands. “Don’t worry about it.”

This doesn’t sit well with Colin, obviously. “Oh, now you’re giving free drinks to my girlfriend?”

“Colin.” I try to remain as calm as I can as I gently grab his hand. “Let’s just go. We can sit in the square and enjoy a quiet moment together before…before work, okay?”

I wish I could tell him that once he has a few sips of his tea he won’t give two hoots about me anymore. But I can’t, so I just have to get him the hell out of here and away from Joe.

With one last menacing look for Joe, Colin finally picks up his drink and starts out of the shop. I follow, tossing an apologetic look to Joe before I do. He nods and gives me a grin that says,
No harm done,
though I’m not completely reassured. Especially after the way our date ended last night.

But I can’t really worry about Joe right now. I have to get Colin to drink his tea and pray it works.

We sit down in the square, on the same bench where I’d run into Joe yesterday. Wow, was that really only yesterday? Somehow it seems like a lifetime ago.

I angle myself toward Colin. He looks agitated, but still the same handsome guy I fell in love with. Or lust, maybe. That dark hair, the smile that could make a girl’s heart melt. Only I don’t feel for him what I felt a couple weeks ago. I only feel ashamed for what I’ve done to him. And kind of pathetic too. I mean, who am I? Not so long ago I was a confident, independent New York executive with fantastic clothes and a ruthless attitude. When did I become a chubby, desperate girl who thought she had to cast a spell on a guy to get him to notice her?

I shake my head, drawing Colin’s attention.

“I told you I don’t like that guy,” he finally says, a scowl on his face.

“Yeah, I know,” I reply. I’m not going to indulge the conversation. I just need him to drink his tea so we can get this over with and go back to normal. Go back to him being madly in love with my sister, and me…being happy for them. “Aren’t you going to drink your tea?”

“Too hot.”

“Oh.” I look up at him and our eyes meet. His are vacant, of course. God, what am I going to tell him when he snaps out of this? Will he remember what happened? Or will he have missed out on a couple weeks of his life?

We sit in silence for a few minutes. I take tiny sips of my latte, wondering if Joe did anything to my own beverage. I smile, thinking I wouldn’t really mind it at all.

“Something funny?” Colin asks.

“Oh, um…not really. Just thinking about how much I love this weather.” It’s not a total lie. The weather is quite nice.

And then it happens.
Finally.
Colin lifts the cup to his lips and tests a sip. He startles just a bit, as if it’s hot, but then goes back for more. I’m holding my breath, waiting. Watching. For any sign it’s working. But nothing is happening.

“So,” I venture, “how do you feel?”

“Better,” he says. “Well, we should probably get inside. Holly will be wondering where we are.”

“Holly?”

Colin gives me a cock-eyed look and laughs. “Uh, yeah. Your sister? Remember her?”

I stare back at him, my eyes wide. “Do
you
remember her?”

“Are you feeling all right?” Colin puts a hand to my forehead. “Maybe you should see a doctor.”