“Me?”
“Indeed! Didn’t he suggest you as the subject of that game?” Hannah didn’t notice that Emma stiffened at the mention of what she had come to think of as the “incident” at the picnic. Instead, Hannah giggled as she urged Emma to continue. “Now, guess again!”
“Mayhaps
it would be easier if you just told me, then.”
“I can’t believe you can’t guess,” Hannah remarked, clearly disappointed for she obviously thought the answer was obvious. “Gideon King!”
The walls seemed to close in upon Emma. The reality struck her and she felt weak. Her throat closed and her heart pounded. Of course, she realized. Her mind reeled over the past few weeks, how Gideon had been attentive to Hannah. He had taken her home in his buggy after the Esh gathering. He had apparently planned the picnic by consulting Hannah first. Why, he had even brought her to that very picnic! The realization that Gideon might have been secretly courting Hannah struck her with such a force that she couldn’t speak.
“Emma!” Hannah said, her tone light and cheerful. “You act surprised! Say something!”
“I’m . . . I’m not quite sure of what to say,” she managed to whisper.
“Congratulate me, then!”
That was one thing Emma knew she could not do. “This . . . this seems rather sudden,” she stammered, aware of the sinking feeling inside of her chest.
“No more so than Paul and Alice, I reckon” came the quick, defensive retort.
“But he hasn’t asked you,” Emma said, although it was more of a question than an actual statement.
Hannah stiffened at what Emma was implying as if offended. “
Nee
,” she admitted. “He hasn’t. Not yet.” Her expression changed and she lifted her chin defiantly, an air of confidence about her that surprised even Emma as she added, “But he will.”
Still stunned, Emma sat in her chair and simply stared at Hannah. The thought of Gideon King actually marrying anyone, especially her friend Hannah, was more than she could bear. If anything, she realized, she’d prefer to see Gideon marry Jane, for then, at least, she would not have to feel jealous of a friend.
Jane.
Emma’s mouth fell open and she realized that, despite Hannah’s confidence, she could very well be mistaken. Gideon had been just as attentive to Jane as he had to Hannah, staring at her at church and at the picnic and including her with his little joke about Francis’s game. The old Emma might have said as much, but the new Emma, determined to speak with pleasantness in her heart, hesitated enough to carefully think through her response. The words raced through her head and she quickly assembled
a more kind and thoughtful statement than what she was actually thinking.
“
Mayhaps
,” she began gently, “you should keep this to yourself, Hannah, until he actually asks you. There might be danger in letting your feelings run ahead of yourself.” Emma spoke slowly, pausing before she continued, for she hoped that her words would not offend. “I suspect that we have learned not to presume we know the outcome of a man’s thoughts when it comes to love, especially after what happened with Paul,
ja?
”
She knew from Hannah’s reaction that it was far too late for that. Clearly Hannah knew something that Emma did not. Paul was long forgotten, and Hannah’s heart was turned to Gideon. There was nothing Emma could say to warn her that
mayhaps
Gideon King was not interested in her at all but had his sights set on another: Jane.
“Why, of course I wouldn’t dream of telling another soul!” Hannah gushed.
“And . . . and you are quite certain of his affection?” She hoped that her voice did not betray the disbelief that she was feeling.
“Most undoubtedly!” Hannah giggled and clasped her hands in front of her, giddy with happiness. “Such a kind and thoughtful man,” she said out loud, although it appeared as if she were talking mostly to herself. She seemed to be thinking of something that gave her secret delight. Returning her attention to Emma, she smiled. “I knew it for sure and certain when he went out of his way at the picnic.”
The dreaded picnic. That again! Oh, how Emma wished that picnic had never taken place. “Out of his way?”
She nodded her head emphatically. “
Ja
, the picnic! He must have suspected how uncomfortable I would have been
to arrive alone, and he insisted upon bringing me in his buggy. His courting buggy, no less!”
The image of Hannah’s face, glowing with delight as Gideon had guided the horse and buggy into the parking area flashed before Emma’s eyes. Had that not been the very first moment when Emma had realized that she too had feelings for Gideon? “I see,” Emma managed to say.
“Do say something else, Emma!” Hannah seemed to plead with her. “Tell me that you are happy!”
“Your happiness is all that I have ever wanted,” Emma said softly, hoping that her words masked her true feelings.
While the statement was true, Emma knew that she could never congratulate her friend on such a union. Fortunately her words seemed to satisfy Hannah’s need for affirmation. She reached out and took Emma’s hands, holding them tightly as she stared at her friend. “And I have you to thank for this!”
“Me?”
“You told me to believe in myself and to aspire to greatness. You even encouraged me to take note of his behavior!”
Inwardly Emma cringed, wishing that any encouragement had never come from her own lips.
Oh
,
that I had never known her
, she thought bitterly.
As Hannah prattled on about conversations she had with Gideon, Emma sank into further reflection, occasionally nodding her head and smiling as if she were, in fact, participating in the conversation. Instead, she was beside herself, her mind reeling at this unfortunate news. If only she had not been so focused on trying to arrange other people’s lives, perhaps she would have paid more attention to her own. By encouraging Hannah, Emma now knew that she had lost
the one person who, deep down inside, she may have always truly loved: Gideon King.
To make matters worse, the burden of this great loss rested entirely upon on her own shoulders.
When her
daed
finally returned home from his daily stroll, Emma could barely speak. With great apologies, she claimed a roaring headache and retreated to her room to lie down. She didn’t get up again until the sunlight dawn slipped through her window. It had been a sleepless night, and she feared that it was not going to be the last one she would have for quite some time.
T
HERE WAS A
general murmur spreading throughout the congregation. It started as a soft whisper before growing much louder, although everyone tried to be discrete in voicing their surprise. At first everyone seemed to look at one another, as if questioning the person seated next to them whether or not they had heard correctly. Then, still disbelieving their ears, they stared back at the bishop. It was as if they were waiting for him to correct the announcement that he had just made. Certainly he had been mistaken. When they realized that the bishop had, indeed, been correct in what he said, that they hadn’t misheard him, their attention immediately shifted elsewhere.
Stunned, Emma sat upon the hard bench, trying hard not to look at the back of Anna’s head. She clutched the
Ausbund
in her hands, thankful that she had something to hold on to. For a long moment she stared at it, trying to comprehend what had just been announced. Try as she might, she couldn’t help but look up, fighting the urge to glance in Anna’s direction. However, in looking elsewhere, she noticed that half of the church was, indeed, staring at Anna, the other half at Samuel. It was hard not to do so. Only when Hetty dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief
did people begin to look at her too. Undoubtedly her tears were a mixture of happiness for her niece’s betrothal as well as sorrow that Jane would undoubtedly move away.
As was common at the end of the worship services during the month of October, and sometimes November too the bishop announced upcoming weddings. For many in the community, it was the first time that a secret relationship between a young man and young woman were made public. After all, courtship tended to be a private matter. The family, however, would most likely have been tipped off in advance, for planning purposes more so than for approval seeking.
Today, however, the reading of the banns had caught the community off guard. When the bishop stood before the members, clearing his throat, an energetic hush fell over the room. It was an exciting moment, the moment when wedding banns were announced. Who would it be, people were wondering. Some may have had suspicions, for some couples were more open about their courtships. Others, however, followed tradition and were very secretive.
The couple that was announced on this day had followed tradition, perhaps too much, for it was announced that Francis was to wed Jane in four weeks.
In response to this surprise proclamation, everyone seemed to look at the Waglers, wondering how much they knew about this relationship that had been kept secret from everyone. From the stoic expressions on their faces, they too must have only just learned about Francis courting Jane, perhaps as recent as just days before the banns were announced. Clearly Samuel was surprised by his son’s choice, not just in his selection of a bride but also in his conduct in being so secretive.
Rachel reached out and touched Emma’s hand, a covert
gesture that she wasn’t certain how to interpret. Glancing at her, Emma questioned her friend with her eyes, but Rachel looked away, as if ashamed. Not understanding why Rachel would have such a reaction, Emma gently withdrew her hand and continued staring straight ahead, listening to the bishop finish his announcements.
Once the worship service was officially over, the volume of the chatter in the room increased. A small group of women gathered around Hetty, who seemed delighted by the attention. Emma was about to join the small group when Alice Esh barged into it, standing beside Hetty and taking over the conversation.
“I sense that the engagement of Francis and Jane comes as a surprise to most. Why, I saw him walking with her in town just a few days ago. How could anyone not recognize it?”
Hetty started to respond, but Alice didn’t let her finish her sentence.
“Of course, when he first came he paid an awful lot of attention to another,” Alice added, her eyes darting over their heads to where Emma stood, as if to make certain she was listening. “It’s no wonder Jane was sick this week. Most likely heart sickness over worrying about her beau.”
Shocked and dismayed, Emma backed away, then hurried into the kitchen. So was that why the announcement came as such a shock to the
g’may
? Was that why Rachel took her hand in sympathy—because everyone thought that Francis had been courting her? And now everyone must think she was heartbroken at the announcement of the secret engagement. Mortified, she refused to meet anyone’s eyes. Instead, she quickly snatched up a dish rag and began to tackle the dishes, wishing that she could just be invisible.
Perhaps
, she
thought,
if I just act natural
,
no one will think anything is wrong.
In hindsight Emma should have suspected something was amiss. After all, neither Francis nor Jane was at the worship service. Only after the bishop announced their betrothal did she realize they were missing. Had she noticed it earlier, she might not have been so surprised by their engagement.
As was customary, the future groom and bride did not attend service on the day that their banns were announced. Instead, they spent the day in private reflection, just the two of them together, usually at the bride’s house. Emma could imagine that they were, just now, sitting down for the noonday meal, one that Jane would have made with great care. Today was an important day for her: once the banns were announced, she would be known as Francis’s Jane for the rest of her life.
“Can you believe it?”
The hand on her shoulder and harsh whisper in her ear startled Emma from her thoughts. She turned her head, not surprised to see Hannah beside her.