The McClane Apocalypse: Book Two (11 page)

Luckily his shirt hangs almost to her knees, but it is low in the front because of a deep vee. She is unsure of whether she should pull it up to cover her scars or pull it down to cover her butt better. Screw it; she’s just too damn weary to worry about it. John’s eyes roam over her body and pause, going up and down her bare legs and then back to her face.

“Looks better on you than me I must say,” he adds throatily and takes a step toward her and then stops abruptly and blinks as if he realizes that he’s about to do something he shouldn’t.

Reagan stands rooted to her spot staring at him in his underwear and his muscles as he turns swiftly to stoke the fire again and then sort items in one of the bags. She swallows hard and blinks twice.

“Why don’t you go to bed? I’m going out to check on the horses and scan out the area a little bit. I’ll be back shortly. I want to get our equipment packed up, and I need to get the weapons oiled down and dry. Just go to sleep and don’t worry about anything. I’ll wake you when it’s time to leave,” John tells her.

It’s comforting to think of him watching her back. It’s not comforting thinking of him eventually getting into this bed with her. But there aren’t a whole lot of options on the table other than sackin’ it on the floor.

“I need to use the restroom first,” she mumbles. “You have to flush with a bucket of water. Not the most sophisticated or classy system but it works.”

“You don’t even want to know what you do out in the middle of the desert, boss,” he says on a laugh as he shrugs into his damp clothing again. “A bucket of water flush would’ve been a luxury.” Reagan wrinkles her nose at him, and he laughs once.

She goes to the sink to pump more water, this time into a utility bucket, but John takes it from her. Then he carries it to the tiny bathroom.

“Um... thanks,” she acknowledges, though she’d like to not have to in the first place.

John twines one of her dried curls in his fingers. He looks like he wants to say something or do something more, but he simply drops the curl and backs away.

“Try and get some rest,” he says and walks toward the other side of the cabin where he starts placing the weapons on the card table.

She closes the door to the bathroom that houses only a toilet. There is at least fresh toilet paper in a plastic storage tub next to the toilet. The humidity in the air makes the tissue feel damp which is revolting. There is also a roll in the bag that she carried on her saddle so that she could stop along the trail to relieve herself in the weeds. Thank God, John had not strayed from his assigned area when they’d stopped. That would’ve been more mortifying than having to use this tiny bathroom in this cramped cabin when he could potentially be only ten feet away on the other side of the door with the two inch gap at the bottom. She’ll be glad to get back home to the creature comforts of the farm, to her family, to normal food, to her own damn bed. When she’s finished, she takes the water and dumps it into the commode. A solid hillbilly flush, but it’s flushed nonetheless.

When she re-emerges, John is gone, but he’s added more wood and stoked the fire. She is greatly appreciative. Why the hell couldn’t they have made this trip six damn weeks ago like they originally planned? So much bullshit had come up every week that this voyage had been postponed to now when the nights are chilly. September isn’t exactly a friendly weather time in the mountainous regions of Tennessee, but they’ll just have to make do.

Reagan can hear him outside moving things around, talking to the horses and then he’s gone, and she’s left alone with just the noise of the fire cracking and popping in the stove. She draws back the covers and slides into the bed where she feels warm and secure and protected from the dangers of the night. Where she almost feels safe because he is keeping watch over her.

Chapter Seven

Kelly

“I’m so glad that John called in. I burned a whole batch o’ biscuits worrying about those two,” Grams says as the evening meal commences.

Kelly sits beside Hannah, who is avoiding any and all contact with him. They are all late getting to dinner because of the added chores and responsibilities they’ve taken on since Reagan and John are away. When she passes food his direction, she sets it on the table instead of placing it in his hands. She won’t even look in his direction or turn her head to face him, and she’s hiding behind her unbraided hair. She’s pissed at him. And he’s fucked. This is the first time in his adult life that he actually cares if a woman is pissed at him, and it doesn’t sit well in his gut. Her coolness is a dagger to the heart. “Yes, me too, Grams. I think we can all breathe a little easier tonight. Tomorrow we can go back to worrying all over again,” Sue says as she serves Justin mashed potatoes to which he sticks out his tongue. “If you want to get as big as Kelly over there then you gotta’ eat, little buddy.”

Kelly does his best to grin at Justin but his mind is on the frustrating woman beside him.

“I want to get big like Kelly!” Arianna squeals with a giggle. That kid is gonna be trouble someday.

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen, squirt,” Derek tells his ruffian daughter to which she pouts. But then she and Em go back to their conversation about the nesting hens and hoping that there are going to be a ton of peeps with which to play in a few weeks.

“We got the tree cut up and stacked out on the wood pile, sir,” Cory says proudly.

“Very good, Cory,” Doc answers, but when Kelly looks at up at him, he is regarding Hannah with concern etched into his features. Great. Can Doc tell that Hannah is upset because of him?

“Hay’s put up, too. Tomorrow I want to work on the cattle enclosure down at the big barn,” Derek tells Doc as he tears into his roast beef with great enthusiasm. Kelly’s appetite has diminished considerably. This is also a first.

“I’ll help with that, Derek,” Cory offers, earning Derek’s consent.

Grams adds in, “We got twelve quarts of peppers put up today and pickled those cukes, too. Tomorrow, Sue and Hannah and I will work on corn and cabbage since it’s finally ready. Nothing like sauerkraut in the winter to warm your bones.”

“Oh yeah, that’ll be tasty, Grams,” Derek agrees as he takes a bite of the rich, warm bread.

When Kelly risks a glance at Hannah’s plate, he sees the small teaspoons of food that she’s placed there and that she is barely touching any of it. This time, however, he knows better than to prod her. She might attack him at the table in front of everyone, and then there will be plenty of explaining to be done. The dinner conversation flows about them, and while others talk of vegetables, picking, planting and harvesting corn next month, the two of them brood silently- each for different reasons.

“When the rest of the family returns, I believe that we should start holding Sunday morning service in the music room. I think it would be good for the children, and I think we could all do with a dose of faith. God has given us this situation for a reason, and we should not turn our backs on Him just because our lives have changed. It’s during the hardest times that we must hold on to our faith,” Doc says wisely.

The thing that is most shocking to Kelly out of the whole monologue is that Doc referred to John as part of the family. Kelly wonders if the doc found out how he’d been cavorting with Hannah in the barn last week, would he consider him family, as well? Hell no, he wouldn’t. Kelly isn’t an idiot; he’s a realist. If someone like him was interested in his granddaughter, he’d shoot him in the head and bury the body.

“That’s a great idea, Grandpa,” Sue says as she passes the platter of meat to Justin again. The kid likes meat but that’s pretty much about the gist of it. He is bound to be a stocky dude like his old man.

“I second that, Doc,” Derek pipes up. “Everyone could use a little hope, and if we worship as a family unit, it’ll make us all stronger together. The kids need to learn from the past, and the Bible seems to be a good place to start. Maybe someday one of them will figure out how to get this mess all straightened out.”

Kelly has never heard Derek talk of his faith or whether or not he and Sue went to church regularly. He could’ve been an atheist for all Kelly knew of his religious beliefs. Nobody had time back then for regularly scheduled anything. The only thing in the Army that had been a constant was the constant deployments, the constant battles, the constant secret ops. Family traditions or any traditions that didn’t include keeping your weapon clean, just sort of faded away into the past.

“Hannah? What do you have to say about it?” Doc asks his granddaughter, who is still ignoring Kelly.

“That’s fine,” she speaks in a monotone, hushed voice.

Everyone at the table is starting to notice her quiet demeanor and her withdrawn attitude. Her normal vivacious, infectious enthusiasm is gone and has been replaced with solemnity and sadness caused by none other than himself.

“I think it will be good for Reagan, too. She needs to make her peace with what happened, and she’s lost her way on her walk with God,” Grams adds as she spreads a reddish purple jam on her bread.

The women make so many different types of jam that Kelly can’t keep them all straight. All he knows is that they taste great, every last one of them.

“She’s just lost period, Grams,” Sue discloses reflectively with a scowl.

The concern she feels for Reagan is apparent on her face. Kelly looks at Derek who is already regarding him, but Derek glances down at his plate quickly. If he knows something about what the family speaks of regarding Reagan, he isn’t at liberty to say.

“Kelly, what do you have to say about it?” Grams asks him as the meal is concluding.

“Church service? I agree with everyone else. It’s a fine idea, ma’am” Kelly tells them and looks toward Hannah, who still refuses to turn toward him.

“Kids? Can you help get dessert? Hannah made some special pies this morning before she went riding with Kelly,” Grams announces, and Cory and Em immediately jump to their feet.

Hannah also pushes her chair back and follows them from the room, feeling for the door frame. Em hooks her arm onto Hannah’s, connecting them at the elbows. The kindness and selflessness of his small sister never ceases to amaze Kelly.

A few moments later, the three of them return with the pies, and Hannah places hers directly in front of Kelly. He literally has to quickly shove his place setting to the side to make room before she plunks it on the dining table. The sweet, heady scent of her, the feel of her brushing his shoulder as she puts the pie in front of him is almost more than he can bear.

“I have a headache. If you’ll all excuse me,” Hannah says quietly to everyone. “I think I’ll go and lie down for a while.”

“Oh? Well, all right, love. Just go and rest,” Grams tells her.

Doc tells her, “I’ll come and check in on you in a while, Hannah. If you need anything for the headache, I can get you something.”

“No, no. I’ll be fine, Grandpa. It’s just a headache,” she replies and offers a weak smile that doesn’t reach her slanted eyes.

And with that, she leaves the room again, not to return.

Kelly doesn’t believe the bit about the headache at all. He believes she has a giant pain in her ass instead that’s him. Grams and Sue are busy cutting the pies and Sue places a piece in front of him. When Kelly looks more closely at it, he sees that the pie is apple with a crumble top, something he’d told Hannah earlier in the summer was his favorite. She likes to know those sorts of things about people so that she can do nice things like this for them. Hannah is always thinking of others and putting herself last. Kelly feels like he’s going to vomit. He stands abruptly, drawing the confused stares of the family.

“Um... uh,” and with this eloquent speech delivered he also rushes from the room, unable to meet their gazes or make an explanation for his rude and rash behavior.

Kelly races down the hall, past the family room, the kitchen, the pantry and descends the three short stairs that take him to the suite of bedrooms which belong to Hannah and the grandparents. He hadn’t exactly planned this out, so when he arrives in front of her closed door, he’s suddenly unsure of himself. But he knocks twice very softly anyway. After a few moments, the door finally opens, and Hannah stands before him in all of her unearthly beauty and naked feet.

“Yes?” she asks unknowing of who has knocked. Her tilted eyes are framed by the inquisitive arch of her pale brows.

“It’s me,” is all he manages before placing one hand on the door frame a few inches above him. The other hand he jams onto his hip so that he doesn’t try to touch or maul her which he’d like very much to do. She tries to shut the door on him, but he sticks a foot in the way and blocks it from closing. “Don’t, Hannah.”

“Please, go away, Kelly,” she pleads. The gentle, desperate urgency in her voice is enough to bring him to his knees.

“I can’t,” Kelly tells her helplessly. “I don’t like this.”

“Don’t say that. You don’t want me; you’ve made that quite clear. So please just don’t do this to me. I told you how I feel and you... you rejected me,” she says on a sob. It’s like a glacier crashing into his heart and splitting it in two.

“God, don’t cry, Hannah,” he begs and doesn’t care how pitiful it sounds. If she would only stop, he would literally go down on his knees to make it happen. She sniffs very ladylike behind her hand and wipes at her tears, trying to restrain herself.

“Just go,” she pleads again.

“It’s not that I don’t like you. Don’t... don’t ever think that. I just can’t be with you, Hannah; it’s not right. I have to think of Cory and Em,” he tries to explain. She only furrows her brow up at him while those unseeing eyes penetrate straight to his soul.

“What do Cory and Em have to do with anything? I don’t understand,” she asks, shakes her head and sniffs again.

“Everything. Don’t you get it? I’m responsible for them. I can’t do anything that would jeopardize them or their safety or our arrangement to live here,” he says and runs a hand through his hair in frustration.

“Wait, I still don’t understand what you’re saying. I love Cory and Em- everyone does,” Hannah furrows her delicate brow with confusion as she speaks with him in a hushed voice.