The Memoir of Johnny Devine (30 page)

HUAC agents thought she was a spy.

Eliza closed her eyes and willed herself to
stay calm.

Ivy and another girl in bobby socks
whispered to each other, their glances wary.

Yes, this was far too much like old Salem
for Eliza’s taste. She moved toward the stairs, but her encounter
with John combined with this letter pressed on her like a half-ton
weight. The idea of being alone in her empty room was too much.

Betty’s shoulder was better than
nothing.

Eliza took the telephone and dialed the
operator. “Richmond four nine two seven.”

“
One moment, please,” the
operator said.

With every ring on the line, Eliza’s pulse
quickened another notch.

“
Cunninghams.” Ed’s voice,
irritated.

“
Hello, Ed. May I speak to
Betty, please?”

A pause. “Betty is seeing to dinner, but I’m
sure, since you’re calling at dinnertime, it must be
important.”

Eliza winced.

“
You’re not in any
trouble, I hope?”

“
No, no, nothing like
that. Perhaps I should just call back another time.”

“
Of course not. Just a
minute.”

As he went to fetch Betty, Eliza checked her
watch with a grimace.

“
Eliza?” Betty sounded
anxious. “Did you find out something about Mama and Papa? And baby
Ivan?”

“
No, I’m afraid not,”
Eliza said. “I’m not sure where else to look. But don’t worry, I’ll
keep trying. Maybe I should find the town that the letters were
sent to and start placing ads in some local newspapers in the
area.”

“
Is that a good idea?
Aren’t they watching you?”

“
Yes, you’re right. That’s
probably not a good idea.” Eliza caught her lip in her teeth to
keep from crying. “Actually, that’s why I’m calling.”

“
Oh?”

Eliza glanced around to be
sure no one was listening. “I just got a letter asking me to come
to HUAC headquarters on Thursday to answer questions. It’s
an
invitation
,
but it’s pretty much a summons. Betty, it looks like they’ve found
a link between the American Women’s Alliance and the Communist
Party. They want me to answer a bunch of questions about my
…
association
with them.”

The only sound Eliza heard was her own
heartbeat.

“
Betty, I’m
scared.”
Please don’t lecture me about my
writing, please …

“
Well, of course you’re
scared, darling. I think it’s time to call a lawyer.”

“
You know I don’t have
that kind of money.”

Betty’s end of the line sounded muffled, as
if she was covering the mouthpiece so she wouldn’t be overheard.
“Would you … like me to ask Ed if we can help with that?”

Ed Cunningham was a decent man, but he
certainly would not be happy about taking on the legal expenses of
his spinster sister-in-law. “Betty, that’s swell of you to offer,
but no. You and your family don’t need that kind of burden.” She
drew herself up straight. “I’ll just go to the hearing and see what
comes of it.” Would she be taken into custody?

“
You do that and then call
me right away, okay?”

Eliza nodded, unable to answer. Even Betty’s
thin offering of sympathy cracked the fragile grasp Eliza had on
her crumbling heart. With tears streaming, she broke down and told
Betty about reading John’s journal by mistake and how he had
stopped her at the gate.

“
I don’t understand,”
Betty said. “Why didn’t you just keep going?”

Good
question
. “I … wanted the things he said
to be true.”

Seconds ticked by. “Oh, Eliza.”

She fought to keep from crying, then told
her about the kiss and the things she and John had said to each
other.

Betty listened to it all.

“
And then I said, ‘If you
love me, then please don’t let me walk out of your
life.’”

“
And how did he
answer?”

A fresh crop of tears filled her eyes. “He
didn’t.”

The hurt that had been building all day
spilled over. By the time she finished talking, her head ached and
her palms were wet from wiping her face.

“
Oh, darling, I
am
sorry, really. But …
let’s be honest. It’s better that it ended before it began, isn’t
it?” Betty’s voice coaxed. “Just think how truly awful you would’ve
felt if that little game of his had gone on until irrevocable
damages were done. Now you can walk away relatively
untainted.”

Sniffling, Eliza could still see the
desperation on John’s face when he hurried out to stop her. The way
he kissed her. She shook her head. “It was no game, Betty.”

Silence.

“
John’s not like
that.”

More silence. “Oh, Eliza.
Don’t you
know
what men like him are capable of? They’ll do and say anything
just so they can … well, you know. I’m sure he’s positively
convincing, given his background. Don’t you realize he only wants
one thing? And the next thing you know, you’re damaged goods that
no decent man will want.”

Decent
? Eliza’s jaw clenched. Hanging up would relieve the sting of
Betty’s words—for now. But something in Eliza rose up, an outrage
that would not be so easily set aside.

Blind prejudice would continue as long as no
one spoke against it. Silence would not be the last thing Betty
would hear.

“
Betty, you don’t know
John. He’s nothing at all like what you think. He is a good man. An
honest, God-fearing man. But I don’t expect you to value that. You
can’t value anyone who doesn’t look like you. And that makes me sad
for you, Betty. Because if all you want is outer appearances, then
that’s all you will ever have. There is a moral strength and a
humble grace to John that you’ll miss because you’re too busy
arranging your furniture to impress bridge club ladies you don’t
even like.”

An audible gasp shook the line.

But then again, perhaps silence would have
been the better choice this time. “I’m sorry, that was unkind,”
Eliza said.

No answer.

Eliza could see John in her mind’s eye,
determined to give people real hope that God was his rescuer and
faithful friend. “John deserves a chance to be heard, Betty. I just
hope, when his book comes out, you’ll do the right thing and give
him that chance.”

They ended the call with dull goodbyes,
leaving Eliza feeling even emptier than before. With a heavy heart,
she climbed the stairs to her room.

Later that night, as she drifted in and out
of sleep, the hiss of the radiator turned into whispered echoes of
Betty’s words. Dream Betty reminded Eliza that smooth-talking men
were clever enough to say whatever a girl wanted to hear. When
Eliza replied that she wasn’t listening anymore, her sister took a
pencil and wrote a message to Eliza.

On pink stationery.

It’s
difficult to accept a gift you know you don’t deserve.
Humbling, in fact.

~
The Devine Truth: A Memoir

Eliza
arrived at John’s house on Wednesday morning battling a
headache. Nothing like tackling the final pages of a book after a
night of tossing and turning. Denying love was hard enough when she
was the only one feeling it, but now? How could she put John out of
her heart knowing how he felt?

You just do. And then you go on with your
life. That’s all.

No one met her at the door, so she let
herself in.

The thump of John’s cane came from the north
end of the house. When he entered the front room and saw Eliza, he
stopped.

“
Good morning.” He looked
like a man who hadn’t slept in days.

As she removed her coat and hat, John just
stood there. “Is something wrong?” she said.

John shook his head. “No. I’m … just
surprised you came back. Thank you.” He headed toward the
library.

“
John, if you have a
minute, there’s something I should tell you.”

He stopped and turned to her. His gaze
lingered on her lips briefly and then fell away. “What is it?”

“
I’ve been summoned to the
HUAC headquarters for a panel query. Tomorrow morning, actually. I
thought you should know, in case they question you about me. You
know, since Agent Robinson was asking me about you.”

He shook his head. “This is getting
completely out of hand.”

“
Yes, it is,” she said,
hoping to mask the tremor in her voice.

“
Are you
worried?”

“
I don’t know what’s going
to happen. They want me to admit that I wrote articles I sold to
the American Women’s Alliance.” She looked around for Millie and
quieted her tone. “I wrote them under a pen name, and until now, I
haven’t admitted to writing them. I guess I wanted to hold on to
one last bit of security. But now, it looks like they may have
found a real connection between the AWA and the Communist Party.
Which I honestly knew nothing about.”

John frowned and it dawned on her—she had
probably just made a mistake by telling him. He would very likely
be asked what he knew about Eliza.

“
Were
you hired by communists?” John said.

“
No. And I don’t write
propaganda. At least not intentionally.”

“
Then you have nothing to
worry about.”

“
If this were still the
good old USA, I might believe that. But with this Red Scare
spreading so fast, I don’t know what to think. I
am
worried. Not because
I’m guilty, but because paranoia seems to have robbed everyone of
their common sense. Anything can be considered communist behavior,
and it seems impossible to prove you’re innocent.”

“
Like the Salem witch
trials,” John said.

Eliza nodded, taking little comfort in the
fact that McCarthy’s obsession had reminded both her and John of
the same thing. “I want to tell the truth, but I’m afraid they’ll
just twist it.”

“
God knows you’re
innocent, Eliza. He would want you to be truthful. Tell the truth
and leave the rest to Him.”

Leave it to God?
That was like asking her to jump into a
bottomless pit headfirst. How could John be so certain?

He offered a faint smile. “With God’s help,
we’ll fight this to the end.”

“
We
?”

John’s smile faded. “I didn’t want to
mention it before, but they’ve already asked me about you.”

Eliza gasped. Not only were they harassing
John about his former colleagues, but now they were asking him
about her?

“
What did you tell
them?”

John shrugged. “I didn’t answer.”

“
What happens if you
don’t?”

“
If I continue to refuse
to answer, I could be subpoenaed to testify under oath.”

Dread pricked her heart. “Oh no, I’m so
sorry—”

“
Don’t worry, Eliza.
You’re going to tell them the truth, as I have, and sooner or
later, they’re going to give up.” He looked into her eyes with a
strong, steady calm. “The truth
will
prevail.”

If only she could find a way to draw from
his strength and confidence.

“
Would you like me to go
with you?” he asked.

“
No!” She felt her eyes
widen. “I mean, thank you, but don’t you think that would be
dangerous? They already have us linked in their ‘Red’ files.” Eliza
pictured the zeal in the agent’s eyes and shuddered. “Agent
Robinson already thinks he has the next Julius and Ethel Rosenberg
in his sights. I certainly don’t want to feed into his delusions
any more.”

John nodded. “You’re probably right.”

Duncan came down the hall from the kitchen,
his bent gait doubled. “Please, could you come quick?”

“
What is it,
Duncan?”

“
It’s Millie.” He hurried
back the way he came.

Eliza and John followed close behind.

In the kitchen, Millie sat slumped over the
table.

“
I thought the old girl
was asleep.” Duncan wiped his brow with his sleeve. “But I can’t
wake her.”

Eliza gasped.

John leaned down and spoke Millie’s name in
her ear.

The woman moved but didn’t wake.

Eliza reached for Millie’s wrist and felt
her pulse. It was a bit weak, and her skin felt odd, like damp
cheese. Stroking Millie’s forehead, Eliza spoke, raising her
voice.

Millie stirred, made some muttering sounds,
then opened her eyes. She swept a glance around the kitchen, face
dazed. “My, but you early, Miz Eliza.” She looked up at John and
Duncan, her eyes hazy with confusion, and then back at Eliza. “I
was just havin’ a little prayer time, that’s all. Never know when
you need to be extra prayed up.”

Eliza smiled. If Millie
needed extra prayer
or
a nap, she certainly deserved it.

“
Good.” John nodded. He
gave Millie’s shoulder a pat, then went into the
library.

Duncan also left.

But Eliza lingered. “Millie, are you sure
you’re feeling all right? You seem tired lately.”

Millie smiled. “Bless your heart, child.
When you seventy-nine, ‘tired’ already waitin’ for you when you
wake up. Beats not wakin’ up at all, though.” She chuckled. “But
just between us, bein’ absent from the body mean I be dancin’ with
Jesus, and I’m ready for that.”