The Memoir of Johnny Devine (38 page)

Betty sniffed. “He’s married. I knew it. So
when was he going to tell you about his wife—on the honeymoon?”

Eliza cringed at the reminder of how she had
accused him of that very same thing. She stared at John’s
handwriting again.

How like him to talk openly of his mistakes
and face his shame so humbly. This was the John she had fallen in
love with. Not a reckless cad, but a man who had struggled for
weeks to deny his feelings for Eliza out of a desire to protect
her. Despite John’s mistakes, he was a good, caring man. And in
spite of being party to such a lie, perhaps he was trying to do the
best thing he knew how.

“
I need to call him,”
Eliza whispered.

Betty shook her head. “Oh
no. You’re suffering from brain trauma, darling. Your mind is
impaired. Don’t do
anything
until you’ve had time to come to your
senses.”

Perhaps Betty was right. “But I must find
out about Millie,” she said. “She’s the reason I’m here.”

“
If you must.” Betty
sighed. “I’ll order a wheelchair.”

Millie’s
grandchildren were taking turns keeping vigil,
and though she was still holding on to life, the old woman hadn’t
done more than mutter a few words and then slip right back into
unconsciousness.

Eliza rose from her wheelchair and kissed
Millie’s forehead. She whispered Millie’s name, with no
response.

The woman’s skin was cool and translucent
and reminded Eliza of spent leaves turned transparent, drifting
through town like thin ghosts.

Eliza wept all the way back to her room.

Tuesday, just as Eliza finished dressing,
Betty burst into the room. “Finally! Are you ready to go?”

“
Yes.” She couldn’t wait
to leave this place.

At Eliza’s apartment
building, Betty made Eliza hold her arm and take the stairs slowly,
although Eliza was certain she could manage. She’d walked the
hospital corridors to the doctor’s satisfaction. But
she’d
allow Betty to
mother her anyway, if it would help make her sister feel better
about leaving Eliza alone.

A number of phone messages littered Eliza’s
door. As she sorted through them, her heart sank. None were from
John.

But there was one—she gasped. A message from
Vlad asking for a return call as soon as possible.

“
Oh! This might be about
Aunt Katerina.” Eliza grasped Betty’s arm. “Shall we call him
now?”

“
Yes, of
course!”

Eliza found Vlad’s telephone number.

Once the call was approved and placed, a
very exuberant Vlad answered. “Finally! I begin to fear you changed
your mind. I have received telegram from Katerina. Would you like
to hear it now?”

“
Yes, please.” Eliza
motioned Betty closer and tilted the receiver so Betty could
hear.

Vlad cleared his throat. “‘Dearest nieces, I
cannot describe how my heart bursts with joy to find you and know
you are well. I wish to see you. Please write. I also wish to hear
of my brother and his life in America. My heart grieves he is gone,
but finding you is my greatest comfort and best consolation.’”

Betty stepped away.

Vlad went on. “Kat sends love and hopes to
hear from you soon.”

Watching her sister, Eliza nodded. “Thank
you so much, Vlad. If I send you a letter, can you translate it and
send it to her?”

“
It would be my
pleasure.”

Eliza thanked him again, then ended the call
and turned to Betty. “What’s wrong?”

Betty shook her head. “Nothing. She sounds
very kind.”

“
Yes. And strong.” The
letter her aunt had written to their father, even if only legible
in part, had spoken volumes. “She helped Papa escape, knowing she
would probably never see him again. How difficult that must have
been for her. I wonder, if she could have foreseen the outcome, if
she would have done anything differently.”

“
I doubt it. What option
did they have?”

Eliza shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“
Yes, well, let this be a
lesson to you.”

“
About what?”

“
Sometimes saying goodbye
is for the best.”

Thankfully, Eliza’s key hadn’t been lost in
the scuffle over her purse. She let herself in, looked around, and
winced at her unmade bed.

Betty shook her head with a tsk. “You’re
coming for Christmas Eve and staying over. I insist.”

“
All right.” Eliza smiled.
“Thank you for bringing me home. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ll call
you if I need anything.”

“
Yes, well.” Betty peered
at her. “I don’t suppose you want me to stay a little while? Make
sure you don’t have a dizzy spell or … get any silly ideas about
calling anyone?”

Eliza’s smile persisted. “Thank you, but
I’ll be perfectly fine, really. And you still have Christmas
shopping to do.”

Betty narrowed her gaze. “Don’t be foolish,
Eliza. A man who will break your heart once will do it again. Mark
my words.”

After Betty left, Eliza opened the sliding
glass door, stepped out, and glanced around.

No sign of Mr. Darcy.

She stepped inside, and as she closed the
door, she spied John’s letter peeking out of her purse. She took it
out and read it again, aching at his humble request for her
forgiveness.

A sense of urgency pushed her out the door
and down the stairs. She gave the operator his telephone number and
waited to be connected. There was no answer.

A little later, she went downstairs and
tried again. Still no answer. She tried several more times
throughout the evening, with the same results.

The next day, Eliza woke to the realization
that it was the twenty-third of December and she hadn’t done a
single thing to prepare for Christmas. She could not arrive at
Betty’s empty-handed. Donning her long coat, she headed downstairs,
then paused at the telephone.

He had to answer sometime.

“
Hello?” Duncan’s
voice.

“
Duncan, this is Eliza.
May I speak to John?”

“
He’s not here,
Miss.”

“
When do you expect him to
return?”

“
Couldn’t say. He left
town.”

Eliza thanked him, hung up, and headed for
the drugstore. Her plan was to find something inexpensive for her
niece and nephew. But once inside the store, she found herself
roaming the aisles in a daze, sorrow weighing her steps like
sandbags. Where had John gone? Perhaps to stay with friends over
Christmas. She should have given him a chance to explain himself
that day at the hotel, shouldn’t have said all those hurtful things
that she had. She couldn’t blame him for leaving town.

God, please be with him, wherever he is.

She shouldn’t have been so quick to compare
him to Ralph. John would never knowingly humiliate Eliza.

And on that note, the lingering cloud of
humiliation hovering over Eliza’s life needed to disappear. John’s
reckless mistake had resulted in a child. But the child was no
mistake. It wasn’t Judy’s fault that the adults in her life had
made poor decisions. A child shouldn’t feel as if she were the
reason for someone else’s shame. Not her parents. And certainly not
Eliza’s.

If Eliza still felt humiliated over her
childlessness, perhaps it was because she chose to feel that way.
What was it that Millie had said? “The Lord is the
portion of mine inheritance and of my cup.” Wasn’t that her way of
telling Eliza to be content with what she had and stop wasting her
energies on anger and longing? Wasn’t that the lesson Millie wanted
Eliza to grasp?

Dear God, please help sweet Millie. Please
heal her body, or else gather her gently into Your arms, whatever
is best.

And please help me. I’ve been so blind.

Eliza chose a small model airplane that she
hoped Eddie Jr. didn’t already have, and a pink-and-white-striped
scarf for Sue Ellen, then took her purchases and headed for the
nearest bus stop. She needed to see Millie one more time, if for no
other reason than to pay her respects. And most likely to say
goodbye.

A young
man was stroking Millie’s hand when Eliza arrived. People
stood on either side of the bed where the tiny woman
lay.

The tiny woman whose eyes were open.

Eliza let out a gasp. “Millie?”

“
Miz Eliza, bless your
heart,” Millie whispered. “Come close. Don’t ’spect you come all
this way to … look at my ugly feet.”

The young man stepped aside, and Eliza moved
as close to Millie as she could.

“
How are you feeling?” As
soon as she said the words, Eliza wanted to snatch them back. What
kind of a question was that?

“
My bones feel like
dancin’.” A slow smile crossed her face.

A man about Eliza’s age shook his head.
“Grandmama, you can dance later. You gotta rest now, like the
doctor said. You hear?”

“
Miz Eliza,” Millie
whispered.

Eliza leaned closer. “I’m here.”

Eyes closed, Millie smiled. “You ever hear
the story … how the Lord told Ezekiel to talk to a … valley full o’
dry bones?”

Eliza shook her head. “No.”

Millie nodded. “He did.
And them bones come together … with flesh and skin and even
eyeballs.” Millie drew a long, labored breath. “Then Ezekiel called
the four winds ... and the Lord …
breathed
… and them bones come to
life. Rose up on they feet … a vast army.”

Eliza waited, but worry tugged at her chest.
Shouldn’t Millie be saving her strength?

“
The Lord used … dead
men’s bones … not livin’ men.” She worked for a few more breaths.
“Can’t win battles ’less you die first. That’s when …” She inhaled
and looked at Eliza. “The Spirit of the Lord give you breath … and
then you
really
alive.”

A muffled sob sounded behind Eliza. A
teary-eyed woman moved in and leaned closer to Millie. “Now, Mama,
no need to be talkin’ about dyin’.”

But Millie only smiled. “Come closer. I
can’t bite … they took my teeth.”

Eliza looked around.

Millie meant
her
?

She moved as asked, her face nearly touching
Millie’s.

“
You a beautiful soul,”
she whispered. “With a kind heart and … a way with words.” She
closed her eyes. “Use that for the Lord, child.” She inhaled again.
“The Lord use beauty and kindness and words … same way He use
armies and dry bones and … my grandmama’s apple dumplin’.” Her face
scrunched with each breath. “Whatever it take to … help this fallen
world find Him. You got … a heart for them that nobody listen to.”
She nodded. “You let Him
breathe
into you, child … and use those things He give
you. He’ll help you fight the good fight … change the world.”
Millie’s eyes closed and a smile settled on her lovely
face.

Tears trickled down Eliza’s cheeks
unchecked. She reached around Millie, hugged her gently, and kissed
her forehead. Then she straightened and turned to Millie’s waiting
family, struck with a numbing sense of dismay. Had Millie spent the
last of her strength on Eliza?

The middle-aged woman touched Eliza’s arm.
“I think Mama been savin’ up to tell you that.” Her voice cracked.
“She’ll rest now. Don’t you worry.”

Tears blinded Eliza. She nodded. “Thank you
for sharing her with me.”