The Memoirs of Catherine the Great (27 page)

1752

Catherine’s unfortunate sleigh ride; Mme. Choglokova’s
interception of Catherine’s gift to Elizabeth; Sergei Saltykov’s
courtship of Catherine; Elizabeth’s rebuke to Catherine for
not having children yet; trip to Kronstadt; Elizabeth’s order
to procure a mistress for Peter

At the end of carnival, Count Chernyshev left for his regiment. A few days before his departure, I needed to be bled. It was a Saturday. The following Wednesday, Monsieur Choglokov invited us to his island in the mouth of the Neva. The house there was composed of a salon in the middle and a few rooms to the side. Near this house he had built a sleigh run. Upon arriving there, I found Count Roman Vorontsov, who seeing me said, “I have just the thing for you. I have had an excellent little sleigh made for the sleigh run.” As he had often taken me before, I accepted his offer willingly, and immediately he had his little sleigh brought, in which there was a kind of little armchair where I sat down, and he placed himself behind me and we descended. But halfway down the slope, Count Vorontsov was no longer in control of the little sleigh, which tipped over. I fell out, and Count Vorontsov, who was very heavy and clumsy, fell on me, or rather on my left arm, from which I had been bled four or five days before. I got up and he too, and we went on foot to meet a sleigh from the court, which awaited those who went down the slope and took them back to where they had started from, so that those who wanted could descend again. Seated in this sleigh with Princess Gagarina, who had followed me with Count Ivan Chernyshev, who stood in the back of the sleigh with Vorontsov, I felt an inexplicable warmth on my left arm. I put my right hand in the sleeve of my coat to see what it was, and pulling out my hand I found it covered in blood. I said to the two Counts and to the Princess that I thought that my vein had opened and was bleeding. They made the sleigh go faster and we went to the house instead of the sleigh run; there we found only a butler. I took off my coat, the butler gave us some vinegar, and Count Chernyshev acted as surgeon. We all agreed not to breathe a word about this adventure. As soon as my arm was bandaged, I returned to the sleighing hill. I danced the rest of the evening. I dined and we returned very late to the house without anyone suspecting what had happened to me. However, for nearly a month my thumb was limp, but little by little this passed.

During Lent I had a violent altercation with Madame Choglokova. Here is the reason. Sometime earlier, my mother had gone to Paris. Upon returning from this capital, General Ivan Fedorovich Glebov’s eldest son gave me two pieces of quite rich and very beautiful cloth from my mother. While I was looking at them in the presence of Shkurin, who unfolded them for me in my dressing room, I let slip that these fabrics were of such quality that I was tempted to present them to the Empress. And in fact I waited for the moment to speak about them to Her Imperial Majesty, whom I saw only very rarely and then mostly in public. I did not speak of them at all to Madame Choglokova. It was a present that I kept to myself; I forbade Shkurin to tell any living soul what I had let slip in front of him alone. But he ran immediately to repeat what I had just let slip to Madame Choglokova. One fine morning, a few days later, Madame Choglokova came into my room and told me that the Empress thanked me for my fabrics, that she had kept one and was sending the other back to me. I was struck with astonishment upon hearing this! “What?” I said to her. Then Madame Choglokova added that she had brought my fabrics to the Empress, having heard that I had meant them to go to Her Imperial Majesty. At this, I got angrier than I remember ever having been. I stammered; I hardly spoke. Nevertheless I said to Madame Choglokova that I had been looking forward to presenting the Empress with these fabrics and that she had deprived me of this pleasure by taking my fabrics and presenting them unbeknownst to me to Her Imperial Majesty, that she, Madame Choglokova, could not know my intentions, because I had not spoken of them to her, and that if she had known them, it was only by the mouth of a treacherous servant, who betrayed his mistress, though she daily showered him with gifts. Madame Choglokova, who always had her reasons, insisted that I should never speak of anything to the Empress, that she had notified me of Her Imperial Majesty’s order to this effect, and that my servants should report to her everything I said. Consequently, my servant had only done his duty and she hers by bringing the fabrics that I had designated for the Empress to Her Imperial Majesty, unbeknownst to me, that this was all according to the rules. I let her speak because fury left me speechless.

Finally she left, and then I went into a little antechamber where Shkurin normally spent the morning and where my old clothes were kept. Finding him there, I gave him a hard, well-aimed slap with all my strength and told him that he was a traitor and the most ungrateful of men to have dared to report to Madame Choglokova what I had forbidden him to say, that I showered him with gifts and that he had nevertheless betrayed me over such innocent remarks, that from that day on I would no longer give him anything, and that I would have him both dismissed and thrashed. I asked him what he hoped to gain from his conduct. I myself would always remain what I was, while the Choglokovs, hated and detested by everyone, would end up getting themselves dismissed by the Empress herself, who sooner or later would surely recognize their profound stupidity and inadequacy for the position in which they had been placed by an evil man’s intrigue. If he wanted, he was free to go repeat what I had just said. I was certain nothing would happen to me, but he would see what would become of him. My manservant fell at my knees sobbing, and begged my pardon with a remorse that seemed sincere to me. I was touched and told him that his future conduct would decide my treatment of him, that his conduct would determine mine. He was an intelligent boy who did not lack talent and has never failed me since; on the contrary, during the most difficult times, I have had the clearest proof of his zeal and fidelity.
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I complained to everyone I could about the trick that Madame Choglokova had played on me, so that it would reach the Empress’s ears. The Empress thanked me for my fabrics when she saw me, and I knew from a third party that she disapproved of the manner in which Madame Choglokova had acted, and the matter ended there.

After Easter we moved to the Summer Palace. For some time already I had noticed that Chamberlain Sergei Saltykov was present more often than usual at court. He always came in the company of Lev Naryshkin, who amused everyone with his originality, several aspects of which I have already mentioned. Sergei Saltykov was the bête noire of Princess Gagarina, whom I liked dearly and even trusted. Lev Naryshkin was tolerated by everyone and regarded as an entirely inconsequential and very original person. Sergei Saltykov insinuated himself as much as he could with the Choglokovs. Since they were neither likable, nor witty, nor amusing, there could only be some hidden design in his attentions. Madame Choglokova was pregnant at the time and often indisposed. She claimed that I amused her, and during the summer as during the winter, she often desired that I come to her residence. Sergei Saltykov, Lev Naryshkin, and Princess Gagarina were usually at her home, when there was not a concert in the Grand Duke’s apartment or else a play at court. The concerts bored Madame Choglokova, who would only arrive at them late, if at all. Monsieur Choglokov never missed the concerts. Sergei Saltykov found a unique way to keep him occupied. I do not know how, but in this dense man, who was totally devoid of imagination and intelligence, he detected a passion for versifying nonsense songs. Once this was discovered, every time that we wanted to get rid of Monsieur Choglokov, we begged him to compose a new song. He would go sit in a corner, usually by a stove, and with great enthusiasm begin to write his song, which took all evening. Then his song would be declared charming, and this encouraged him to keep composing new ones. Lev Naryshkin put his songs to music and sang them with him, and meanwhile, the conversation continued without interruption, and one could speak freely. For, once Choglokov was seated, he did not get up again the entire evening. Where he was sitting made him pleasant or unpleasant, unbearable or charming, which he never was except when he was far enough away. I had a large book of his songs; I do not know what became of it.

During one of these concerts, Sergei Saltykov intimated to me the reason for his frequent appearances. At first I did not respond. When he spoke to me about it again, I asked him what he hoped to gain. He began to paint a picture as cheerful as it was passionate of the happiness he expected. I said, “And your wife, whom you married for love two years ago and with whom you are said to be madly in love, and she with you, what would she say?” He told me that all that glittered was not gold, and that he was paying dearly for a moment of blindness. I did everything I could to make him change his mind. I truly believed that I was succeeding. I pitied him. But to my misfortune I listened to him. He was remarkably handsome, and surely no one equaled him in the grand court, much less in ours. He lacked neither intelligence, nor that breadth of knowledge, manners, and tact that high society, but especially the court, provides. He was twenty-six years old. All in all, he was both by his birth and by several other qualities a distinguished gentleman. He knew how to hide his faults, the greatest of which were a mind for intrigue and lack of principles; at the time, these were not yet evident to me. I held out during the spring and part of the summer. I saw him almost every day. I did not change my conduct with him at all. I was as I had always been with him and as I was with everyone else. I saw him only in the presence of the court or a part of it. One day, to get rid of him for good, I decided to tell him that his attentions were in vain. I added, “For all you know, my heart may belong to another.” Instead of discouraging him, I saw that his pursuit only became more ardent. The question of my dear husband never arose, because it was known and accepted that he was not very lovable, even to those with whom he was in love, as he continually was, since he courted, so to speak, all women. Only she who was called his own was excluded from his attentions.

Meanwhile, Choglokov invited us to hunt on his island, where we went in a rowboat; our horses had gone ahead of us. As soon as I arrived, I mounted a horse, and we went to find the dogs. Sergei Saltykov waited for the moment when the others were in pursuit of the hares and approached me to speak of his favorite subject. I listened to him more patiently than usual. He described in detail the plan that he had devised to shroud in complete secrecy, so he said, the pleasures that one could enjoy in such a situation. I did not say a word. He took advantage of my silence to persuade me that he loved me passionately, and he begged me to allow him to believe that he could hope, and that at least I was not indifferent to him. I told him that he could give rein to his imagination without me being able to prevent him. Finally he made comparisons between himself and other people in the court and made me admit that he was preferable to them, and from there he concluded that he was preferred. I laughed at what he said, but deep down I confess that he pleased me rather well. After an hour and a half of conversation, I told him to go because such a long conversation could become suspicious. He told me that he would not go unless I told him that he was tolerated. I replied, “Yes, yes, but go away.” He said, “I take you at your word,” and spurred his horse, and I cried, “No, no,” and he repeated, “Yes, yes.” We parted in this way. Back at the house on the island, we supped, and during supper, a great wind arose at sea, which made the water rise so considerably that it reached the bottom of the stairs, and the island was covered in several feet of seawater. We were obliged to remain on Choglokov’s island until the storm and the waters had subsided, which took until two or three in the morning. During this time, Sergei Saltykov said to me that heaven itself was favorable to him that day because it let him enjoy seeing me for a while longer, and numerous other such things. He already believed himself very fortunate, but I was not. A thousand worries troubled my thoughts, and I think I was very sullen that day and very unhappy with myself. I had believed myself able to govern and elevate both his thoughts and mine, and I understood that both were difficult, if not impossible.

Two days later, Sergei Saltykov told me that one of the Grand Duke’s gentlemen of the bedchamber, Bressan, of French nationality, had told him that His Imperial Highness had said in his room, “Sergei Saltykov and my wife are deceiving Choglokov, making him believe what they want and then mocking him.” It has to be said in truth that there was something to this and that the Grand Duke had noticed. I replied by advising him to be more circumspect in the future. A few days later I came down with a terrible sore throat, which lasted more than three weeks, with a severe fever, during which the Empress sent me Princess Kurakina, who was getting married to Prince Lobanov. I was supposed to crown her with the ceremonial headdress; for this purpose we had her sit in her court gown and big hoop on my bed. I did what I could, but Madame Choglokova, seeing that it was impossible for me to finish crowning her, had her get down off the bed and finished the headdress. I have not seen this woman again since then. At the time, the Grand Duke was in love with demoiselle Marfa Isaevna Shafirova, whom the Empress had recently placed in my service along with her elder sister, Anna Isaevna. Sergei Saltykov, who was an intriguing devil, insinuated himself with them to discover what the Grand Duke might be saying to the two sisters about him, so as to turn it to his advantage. These girls were poor, rather stupid, and very ambitious, and in fact in very little time they became his close confidantes.

Meanwhile, we went to Oranienbaum, where I again went riding every day and, except on Sundays, wore a man’s habit. Choglokov and his wife had become sweet as lambs. In Madame Choglokova’s eyes I acquired a new virtue. I dearly loved and fawned over one of her children. I made outfits for him, and God knows how many toys and togs I gave him. The mother was truly crazy about the child, who afterward became such a good-for-nothing that he was sentenced to fifteen years imprisonment in a fortress for his mischief.
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Sergei Saltykov had become the friend, confidant, and adviser of Monsieur and Madame Choglokov. Certainly no man with common sense would have been able to submit to a trial as difficult as listening to these two proud, arrogant, and egotistical fools talk nonsense all day, without having much at stake. People guessed and speculated about his motives. This reached Peterhof and the ears of the Empress. Now, at this time it often happened that when Her Imperial Majesty wanted to scold someone, she scolded not that for which she could have scolded, but used a pretext to scold something that one never would have imagined her scolding. This observation comes from courtiers. I have it from the very mouth of its author, Zakhar Chernyshev.