The Mirror of Her Dreams (36 page)

Willing to risk almost anything now, she put her arms around his head and held it where it was so that he wouldn't stop what he was doing.

She was so amazed that she did nothing but stare when Saddith walked into the room.

Like Geraden, the maid studiously didn't look at Master Eremis or Terisa. She held her face slightly averted, and her expression was perfectly bland.

'Master Eremis-' she began.

He bounded off the divan violently, his arm cocked as if he were expecting Geraden and intended to hit first and ask questions later.

'Master Eremis,' she repeated, flinching, speaking quickly to ward off his outrage, 'this intrusion is inexcusable, I know, but you must forgive me. I had no choice. You did not answer the door. My lady, you must forgive me. I have no choice.'

'No
choice?'
As soon as he recognized Saddith, he lowered his arm. Nevertheless he needed a moment to control his anger. 'You are a servant. Why is it a matter of
choice
for you to enter my rooms unbidden?'

'Forgive me. I know that what I have done is inexcusable.' Because Saddith's face was so bland, and her tone was so neutral, she didn't sound particularly contrite. 'But I have been commanded to fetch the lady Terisa. The lady Myste wishes to speak with her. She is the King's daughter, Master Eremis. I could not refuse to obey her. You have the power to insult me-perhaps even to hurt me.' She also didn't sound particularly fearful. 'But if the lady Myste complains of me to Castellan Lebbick-'

Eremis interrupted her. 'You could have told Myste that you were unable to find the lady.' He had already regained his self-possession, however. He sighed. 'But that may have been too much to expect of you.' He turned to Terisa. 'My lady, you must go. Kings' daughters are capricious-and our King lets his do what they will. It is not safe to ignore them.'

Only his eyes betrayed him. They had gone dark and murderous.

Terisa wanted to wail in frustration-and also in unexpected fright. His ferocity was suddenly as vivid as her father's. She felt giddy, almost wild, close to tears-or laughter. Her relief was as acute as her sense of loss, her alarm.

Because she had no idea what else to do, she mutely began buttoning her shirt.

STILL TREMBLING weakly, full of confusion and trying not to show it, Terisa left with Saddith.

Master Eremis unbolted the door and bowed her out of his rooms. As he did so, his smile displayed a familiar blend of amusement and concupiscence: he might have been proof against his recent vexations. If she hadn't seen his eyes, she wouldn't have been scared.

She breathed an instinctive sigh of relief when the door closed because it had been Saddith, not Geraden, who had interrupted the Master the third time. She didn't like to think of so much anger aimed at the Apt.

For her part, Saddith appeared untroubled by Eremis' ire. Instead of betraying any kind of embarrassment or concern, her expression suggested a barely concealed satisfaction.

Terisa wanted to ask, Why does the lady Myste want to see me? More than that, she wanted to ask, How did you manage to come for me at just that moment? But as soon as she and Saddith left the cul-de-sac of Master Eremis' quarters, Geraden accosted them.

He made no effort to restrain himself. He was gambolling like a puppy.

'Saddith, you're a wonder!' Grabbing her by the arms, he danced her in a circle until he stumbled against the wall and almost knocked her to the floor; then he planted a loud kiss on her cheek and released her. 'I'm in your debt. Forever! How did you
do
it?'

Without waiting for an answer, he turned, practically prancing, towards Terisa.

She kept on walking.

She couldn't tell what he saw in her face; but whatever it was,

it sobered him rapidly. For once, however, he didn't apologize. 'I know it was none of my business.' He controlled his glee for her sake. 'I just had the strongest feeling-' He gave her a wry grimace. 'We've talked about my 'feelings'. I told you they're always wrong. But I have to do what they tell me anyway. I can't ignore them. I just can't. And this time I had the strongest feeling you were in some kind of danger.'

'Danger, indeed,' Saddith replied derisively, 'You mistake those 'feelings', Apt. You had the strongest 'feeling' that you wish to bed the lady yourself, and you could not bear to think that any man would do so before you. Perhaps also,' she added with a leer, 'you feared that once she had tasted Master Eremis' love-making she would have no interest in yours.'

At Saddith's words, Geraden's eyes filled up with chagrin, and he began to blush like a little boy.

Suddenly, Terisa's trembling got worse. She had come so close -so close to something she couldn't name; some vital awareness of who or what she was. Master Eremis had told her that she didn't exist. And yet his touch-She was shaking all over. Her voice shook. 'Do you mean to tell me Myste doesn't want to see me? You made that up?'

The Apt winced; but it was Saddith who said, 'Certainly
not,'
in a tone of humorous indignation. 'I am not a liar, my lady.' With evident difficulty, she suppressed a desire to laugh. 'The lady Myste has most assuredly asked to speak with you. I spent some considerable time searching for you before I encountered Apt Geraden and he told me where you were.'

Reassured by this support, Geraden admitted, 'But it
is
true that Myste isn't the kind of lady who would insist on seeing you right away.'

Saddith nodded. 'I believe she truly does not know what it means to be the daughter of a king.'

'
If she had known where you were,' Geraden continued, with some of his personal happiness bubbling up past his self-command, Tin sure she would have insisted on waiting until Master Eremis was done with you.'

'Nevertheless,' concluded the maid, 'I made him believe it. In future, he will be wise to be more careful about his designs.'

Geraden couldn't help himself: he threw back his head and laughed.

Saddith joined him.

In their distinct ways, they both sounded so pleased that the tension which made Terisa tremble loosened itself involuntarily. She wanted to laugh as well. 'He got so angry.' At the moment, she felt it would've done her a world of good to laugh. 'Maybe he isn't used to frustration. He looked pretty silly.'

The thought of Master Eremis looking
silly
started Geraden and Saddith again.

Paying no attention to where they were going, they nearly ran into Master Quillon.

Because of his self-effacing grey robe and unassertive demeanour, he seemed to appear in front of them out of nowhere. His smile didn't close over his protruding teeth. 'Ah, there you are, Apt,' he said at once. 'Come with me. I have need of you.'

Terisa felt that his tone boded ill for Geraden.

'Master Quillon-' Geraden was nonplussed. 'I've finished my duties. I wanted to spend the afternoon-'

'Precisely,' the Imager cut in. 'You wanted to spend the afternoon helping me. I am determined to finish my researches before Master Gilbur summons his champion and we are all required to put aside our personal concerns for the sake of the war which will ensue. Come.'

Abruptly, he turned and started down the hall.

'Master Quillon!' Geraden protested. 'It's customary to let Apts do what they want with their time when they've finished their duties.'

The Master paused. The way he bared his teeth gave him an air of lugubrious savagery. His eyes glittered coldly. 'For shame, Geraden,' he said, speaking more mildly. 'Sloth does not make a Master. Work does. How will you ever learn, if you are unwilling to make an effort?' Then his face tightened. 'This is not a request, Apt. Come with me.'

Walking briskly, he moved away.

Geraden cast a look of appeal and apology at Terisa.

'Go, Geraden,' whispered Saddith. 'Do not be a fool. What will become of your wish to be a Master? You hurt no one but yourself by disobeying.'

The Apt grimaced, nodded, threw up his hands, and trotted after Master Quillon.

Saddith laughed again, this time at Geraden; but her mirth wasn't unkind. 'He is a good boy, my lady, with many attractive qualities.' She grinned. 'Even his awkwardness might prove piquant. But in your place I would not trouble with him. You can aim higher.

'If you are already able to interest Master Eremis'-now she was serious, perhaps even a trifle vexed-'making no more effort than you do, you can most certainly aim higher. As an example, consider Castellan Lebbick. You will hardly believe it, having tasted a little of his tongue-and his temper-but he is uxorious to a fault. And now his wife of many years has died, after a protracted illness.
There
is a man in grave need of a woman. If I could attract his notice, I can assure you that I would not remain a servant in Orison much longer.'

'Saddith, what should I do?' Terisa asked on impulse. Now that Geraden was gone, she felt an urgent need to talk to him. Despite Master Barsonage's instructions, she wanted to tell him everything. And she wanted to know how he would answer Master Eremis' reasoning. But she couldn't discuss any of those things with the maid. 'I'm not an Imager. I don't know anything about men.' Then, remembering Eremis' hands-and his mouth -she added, 'Master Eremis and Geraden hate each other.'

'My lady,' replied Saddith, trying to speak lightly, 'I would make certain that Master Eremis does not come to hate
me.'

An open window somewhere let a draught of cold into the corridor. Terisa shivered. Saddith was silent along the way to their destination.

Terisa expected the maid to take her to the suite the lady Myste shared with her sister, in the tower above King Joyse's rooms; but Saddith led Terisa back to her own quarters. Myste was waiting there.

Saddith exchanged her customary badinage with the guards, then opened the door and ushered Terisa inward. They found the lady Myste standing in front of one of the windows. Despite the chill outside, sunshine emphasized the summer tone of her hair and skin, making her more obviously beautiful than she had been in her own rooms, in Elega's company. Nevertheless she gazed out over the castle and the desolate winter as though she longed to be anywhere except where she was.

Her face retained its faraway expression, but she left the window and smiled when Terisa entered the room. 'My lady,' she began, then corrected herself, Terisa, it is good of you to come so promptly.' She hadn't lost the strange excitement with which she had greeted the idea that Terisa was far from being an Imager or a woman of power, was in fact nothing more than a mission secretary. 'I hope I have not called you away from anything you would rather do. I fear I have nothing urgent in mind. For Elega everything is urgent, but I want nothing more than a little quiet talk.'

This greeting took Terisa aback. She felt instinctively that Myste was one of the few people here who didn't have some kind of outlandish or even lethal expectations of her-one of the few with whom it might be possible to have a simple friendship. But for that precise reason she wasn't sure how to respond. She knew so little about friendship.

Fortunately, Saddith came to her rescue. Dropping a curtsey, she lied, 'The lady Terisa was already returning here when I found her, my lady. She had attended a meeting of the Congery, but it was ended.

'And it is well past time for a meal,' she went on. 'Shall I bring you something to eat? You will be able to talk at your leisure.'

For a moment, Terisa expected Myste to answer Saddith. Myste was the King's daughter. But then she realized that these were
her
rooms: hospitality was her responsibility.

'Please,' she said quickly, 'I'm hungry.' Hurrying to recover her manners, she asked Myste, 'Are you? I don't know what Saddith can bring us, but I'm sure it won't take long.'

The lady continued to smile. Her gaze was direct-and distant, as if it passed straight through Terisa's eyes and mind to something beyond. 'Thank you. You are kind.'