The Misfits (4 page)

Bobby:

Thanks for waiting for me, you guys. So what's today's topic?

Addie:

“Popularity versus Principles.”

Bobby:

O-ka-ay. I'm going to need serious ice cream to deal with that one. Double-double chocolate.

Addie:

Is that a good idea? You're going to have dinner when you get home. Your dad will kill you if you fill up on ice cream.

Bobby:

Yes, Wendy.

Addie:

What?

Bobby:

Wendy and the Lost Boys.

Addie:

Oh. Well, that fits, doesn't it?

Skeezie:

Speak for yourselves. I personally am not lost.

JoDan:

Guffaw.

Addie:

May I have your attention, children?

Bobby, Skeezie & JoDan:

Yes, Wendy.

Addie:

Very funny. Now, I called this emergency meeting because of the elections.

Skeezie:

Wait, I never heard what happened with Kiley.

JoDan:

How come you weren't at lunch today?

Skeezie:

I had a date with Mrs. DePaolo. I was givin' her tongue.

JoDan:

That is sooo gross.

Skeezie:

Uh-uh. It was tasty.

Addie:

Shut
up
!

Bobby:

You're a sick man, Skeezie.

Addie:

Can we be serious?

JoDan:

You're always serious, Addie. Seriously.

Addie:

I am not.

JoDan:

Are so.

Skeezie:

Yeah, yeah. So what happened, anyways?

Addie:

Okay, let's see. Mr. Kiley told me I was within my rights
not
to say the Pledge, but that he personally had a hard time with my position because he fought for this country in an unpopular war.

Skeezie:

For the North or the South?

JoDan:

Not the Civil War, dummy. The Vietnam War, Right?

Addie:

Right.

Skeezie:

I think I knew that. I was making a joke.

JoDan:

Duh.

Addie:

Ahem. Anyway, he said that the Pledge means a lot to
some
people and that
other
people don't appreciate all that this country is and how great a democratic nation we are and blah-blah-blah. But when I tried to argue the point about our not being
such
a democratic nation as he contends we are, well, he wasn't very interested in hearing that. All of a sudden, he had an important meeting he just
had
to go to and he was, like, whisking me out the door, as if I'd let off a stink bomb in his office and he was going to have to have it fumigated. Anyway, he told me he would inform Ms. Wyman that while I did not have to say the Pledge, I should stand up out of respect for my fellow classmates.

Skeezie:

Are you going to?

Addie:

I guess. I mean, what I'm really objecting to are the
words
, not standing or sitting. Although I can't say I like being told I
have
to stand up. I mean, I am
not
a robot.

JoDan:

You go, girl.

Addie:

So about the elections.

Skeezie:

If the service gets much slower in this place, I swear I'm gonna take a job here myself, just so's I can get something to eat. Who's workin' today? Oh, no, it's HellomynameisEric. He's even worse than HellomynameisAdam.

Addie:

The student council elections are going to be in three weeks, so we have to get going on this right away.

JoDan:

We?

Bobby:

Get going with what?

Addie:

I want us to form a new party. The Freedom Party.

Bobby:

Ms. Wyman said there are two parties and
only
two parties, and, anyway, Brittney's going to win.

JoDan:

Oo, Brittney “Aren't I Fabulous?” Hobson.

Addie:

She's not so bad.

JoDan:

Brittney “All the Boys Like Me, I'm so Popular I Could Die” Hobson.

Addie:

Joe!

Bobby:

But that's the point. She is popular. She wins everything she runs for.

Addie:

Big deal, she was elected class president for the past three years. But this is the student council, the governing body of the whole middle school.

Skeezie:

I can't believe you want to compete with her.

Addie:

It's not about competing with her.

JoDan:

Brittney “Miss Future Anorexic Cheerleader Prom Queen My Life Will Be Over at Seventeen” Hobson.

Addie:

Look, that's why today's topic is “Popularity versus Principles.” What I want to know is: If there's a contest between somebody who's
really
popular—okay, let's say Brittney—

Skeezie:

Just for the sake of argument.

Addie:

And somebody who isn't popular but stands
for Truth and Freedom and Liberty for All, do you think the person who stands for Truth and Freedom and Liberty for All has a chance of winning?

JoDan:

In your dreams.

Skeezie:

No way.

Bobby:

Uh-uh. Popularity wins. Period.

Addie:

What a bunch of cynics!

Skeezie:

We calls it likes we sees it, babe.

Addie:

I will overlook the sexism.

Skeezie:

I was thinking of the pig of book and movie fame actually. No, no, put the salt down! Oh, man, I'll never get this out of my hair!

Addie:

Perhaps if you didn't use so much mousse . . .

Bobby:

Here are our sodas.

Skeezie:

'Bout time.

Addie:

Okay, fair is fair. I did ask your opinion and you're probably right. So I won't run for president. But I
could
run for vice president.

Skeezie:

Yeah, nobody cares who the vice president is. Nobody even knows who the vice president is.

JoDan:

So who's going to be your candidate for president? Oh, please tell me it's Tonni. Don't you just love her hair? She has the most fabulous hair. And that name: Tondayala Cherise DuPré. Just saying it is like eating dessert, don't you think? But not like a heavy dessert—and not too sweet. No, no. Light and airy. Lemon chiffon pie, with a dollop of whipped cream.

Bobby:

Stop it, Joe, you're killing me.

JoDan:

Why she insists on being called Tonni is beyond me. I mean, I would die for a name like hers. She'd win, you know. She's really popular and sooo beautiful. And she knows how to put herself together, which is important in a politician these days. I mean, it's all about image. And she's—

Skeezie:

Black.

JoDan:

Well, there is that.

Addie:

My thinking exactly.

Skeezie:

You want Tonni to run for president because she's black?

Addie:

Of course not. Besides, she's got way too much, attitude.

JoDan:

Attitude is what it's all about. Trust me, Addie, I know about stuff like this. I speak celebrity

Addie:

Stop, JoDan. It scares me how shallow you are. Anyway, who I'm thinking of is DuShawn.

JoDan:

DuShawn Carter?

Skeezie:

No, DuShawn Feingold. How many DuShawns are there?

Bobby:

But how do you know he'd
want
to run for president?

Addie:

I don't. We'll have to convince him.

Skeezie:

Oh, this will be good. The four biggest misfits in school are going to convince one of the most popular kids in school—not to mention the High Exalted Emperor of Spitballs—that he should be
our
candidate for student council president. This is not going to happen.

Addie:

I contend it will.

Skeezie:

What's going to convince him, if you don't mind my asking?

Addie:

The truth, that's what will convince him. That, and the opportunity to be taken seriously. Nobody takes DuShawn seriously. I don't know if he takes himself seriously. He's smart, but he acts like a goof-off.

Skeezie:

That's because he
is
a goof-off.

Addie:

Well, we're giving him a chance to be more than a goof-off.

Skeezie:

But you're picking him because he's popular
and
, excuse me for pointing it out—
again
—because he's black.

Addie:

Both of which factors will help advance our cause.

Bobby:

Which is?

Addie:

Freedom. Truth. Justice for All.

Skeezie:

You forgot salt.

Addie:

What? Oh, no, don't you dare! Skeezie, put that saltshaker down!

Skeezie:

Justice for all, Addie, justice for all!