The Moment Keeper (22 page)

“Yeah, that one. I used to love that carousel. Remember how I always wanted an outside horse so I could reach for the brass ring when the bell rang and that metal arm came out?”

“I remember. There were many times I thought you’d fall off that horse you were leaning so far off of it, holding on with one hand and one foot in the stirrup.”

Olivia smiles. “But I got the brass ring. Once.”

“Yes, you did.”

“What ever happened to that old carousel anyway?” Olivia asks.

“When the park closed, the carousel was disassembled and sold to another park. There aren’t too many golden carousels around anymore.”

“I’d like to go on that carousel again sometime. Maybe get the brass ring.”

I know exactly the grand carousel Olivia is talking about. I can hear its bellowing band organ and see its beautiful antique, hard-carved horses going round and round. When I was little, Grandma took me to that same amusement park and I rode that same carousel. Gram told me it was built around 1913 and that she rode it when she was a kid. I remember getting seven steel rings once, reaching out and grabbing them with my right hand and ringing them around my left index finger. Never got the brass ring, though. Not once.

Funny the things you forget and then when you remember them they come back to you in full color. I can see myself on top of the prancing white horse with its gold, red, white and blue saddle and harness. I always sprinted to get this horse with its front two legs in the air and the back two on the ground. It was so much better than riding the tattered and chipped coin-operated one in front of the old grocery store in town. That one was tan with a brown saddle and all four of its legs were in the air so I felt like I was galloping. Still, it couldn’t compete with the white horse and a chance to grab the brass ring.

Chapter 33

Olivia pulls into her driveway and puts the car in park.

“Are you sure you’re going to be OK staying alone in the house?” Olivia’s grandma asks.

“I won’t be alone. Daisy’ll be here.”

“Well, if you change your mind and want me to come over, just call. I left tonight open just in case.”

“Grandma,” Olivia says. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. And thanks for letting me drive. I need all the practice I can get since Mom never takes me driving. Says it makes her too nervous.”

“I thought she had hired a driving instructor?”

Olivia nods. “She did, but lessons haven’t started yet. The only day I don’t have dance is Sundays so that’s when they’ll have to be.”

Olivia grabs her dance bag and gets out of the car. Her grandma walks around to get in the driver’s side.

“Sure you don’t want to come in?” Olivia asks.

“No. I promised Grandpa that I’d stop at the store on the way home and get him the spice he needs for the soup he’s making.”

Olivia kisses her grandma. “Thanks for taking me.”

“Any time, sweetheart. And remember, call if you need me.”

Olivia opens the back door to find Daisy waiting just inside. She reaches down to pet her. “OK, girl. I’m home. Let’s go out and pee.”

Olivia grabs Daisy’s leash and takes her out. Daisy spots a rabbit in the yard and takes off after it, pulling Olivia behind. Olivia slips on the grass and falls on her butt just as Cole comes around the corner.

“Daisy!” Olivia yells. “Bad.”

Cole runs to help her up. “You OK?” He takes the leash with one hand and helps Olivia up with the other.

“Dang Daisy,” Olivia says. “I could have twisted my ankle or worse. Then I really would have been screwed.”

“That’s right. You have that big dance thing next week,” Cole says.

“It’s called a recital,” Olivia says. “And remember you said you’d come.”

“I promise I’ll be there,” says Cole, following Olivia into the house and removing Daisy’s leash. “So how was dance anyway?”

“Great. We focused on lyrical dance and my teacher commented on my leaps. Said they were ‘exceptionally high’ and that she was pleased.”

Cole follows Olivia to the couch. She sits down and pulls him next to her. He brushes her soft curls off her face. “You really love dance, don’t you?”

“More than anything,” Olivia says. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. When I was little, I used to dream of performing Swan Lake with the New York City Ballet at the Lincoln Center. I used to beg my parents to move to New York just to be near the theater so I could go all the time.”

“Your face lights up when you talk about it. Like you would never be happy unless dance was a part of your life.”

“I wouldn’t. Which is why I’m studying and practicing so hard. Next year at this time, I’ll be auditioning for Juilliard. They have a great dance program that incorporates classical ballet and modern dance.”

“Well, Lib,” Cole says. “From what I’ve seen, I’m sure you’ll make it. Someday, I’ll see your name up in lights in New York City’s theater district.”

Olivia smiles and lays her head on his chest and he slips his arm around her and pulls her in. “What about you? What’s your dream?”

“You know I’ve always been interested in medicine. Been thinking lately that it would be kind of nice helping kids, so maybe be a pediatrician.”

“I could totally see you doing that,” Olivia says. “I’ve seen you around your little cousins and you’re amazing with them. If you end up at NYU, I could visit you and we could go to the theater together. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

“Which part?”

Olivia hits him with her elbow. “Both parts.”

“You visiting me, definitely. Going to the ballet, well, let’s just say I’d choose something else to do.”

“Like what?”

“Like this.”

Cole finds Olivia’s lips and they kiss deeply. She falls back on the couch and he eases on top of her. She wraps her arms around his back, running her fingers through his thick, dark hair. He kisses the corner of her mouth, making his way along her jaw line to her ear. He nibbles on her earlobe and she lets out a soft moan.

He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Did I tell you I love you lately?”

Olivia smiles. “Not today.”

“God, Lib. I love you.” He kisses her temple and forehead and finds her lips again. “We’d better stop. You’re making me crazy.”

Olivia smiles. She unbuttons his jeans. .

“Lib, I mean it. Don’t tease me like this.”

“Who said I’m teasing?”

“But we talked about this. We decided to wait and I didn’t bring anything with me.”

“One time won’t hurt,” Olivia says. “Besides, who knows when we’ll get a chance like this again?”

She puts her hands on his face and pulls it toward her. She kisses his upper lip, then his lower lip before their tongues find one another again.

“OK,” Cole says. “But not here. Not on the couch. I want your first time to be comfortable.”

“Then let’s go to my bedroom,” Olivia says.

Cole gets off Olivia and she takes his hand and leads him upstairs. Daisy, curled up on the chair opposite the sofa, has been watching. She lifts her head and jumps off the chair and follows them upstairs, only to be shut out of the room when Olivia closes the door.

Olivia whips back the soft comforter and turns to face Cole. She stands on her tiptoes to kiss him before unbuttoning his shirt and slipping it off his arms. She kisses his chest and works her way down to his belly button. She finds his zipper and just as she works it down the phone next to her rings. It’s the landline that has been in her bedroom forever. Olivia glances at the number and sees it’s her parents.

“Shit, I gotta get this. It’s Mom and Dad.”

Cole pulls up his zipper and sits on Olivia’s bed.

“Hi, Mom. Dance was great. No, Grandma didn’t stay. I’m fine. Daisy’s here with me. How about you? Having fun?”

By the time Olivia gets off the phone with her parents the romantic moment has evaporated.

“Sorry about that,” Olivia says.

“Probably for the best anyhow,” Cole says.

“Want to pick up where we left off?” Olivia asks.

“Actually, Lib, I’m hungry. How about that wicked cheese omelet you promised me?”

I have to admit, I was relieved when Olivia’s phone rang. While I had watched them make out many times, there was something about this time that scared me. For the first time, I felt as if Olivia would give herself to Cole completely. I knew the first time I saw her with him that it was only a matter of time, and I thought that time had come. Thanks to the phone call, it was put off a bit longer. But how long, I wasn’t sure.

The first time Bryan and I made love, we were in the middle of an orchard between two rows of peach trees. It was a hot, muggy August night and we spread the old tattered blanket he kept in the trunk of his car on the ground. Bryan had picked fruit at this orchard growing up and knew how to get to this spot without being seen.

A crescent moon hung in the night sky, dotted with stars, some brighter than others. Bryan put punk sticks in the ground around the blanket. When he lit them, the smoke kept the bugs away. I hated bug bites more than anything.

We didn’t plan on going the whole way. We just planned to make out, maybe go to third base. But then one thing led to another and the next thing I knew we were tangled together completely. Inseparable and it felt completely right. But, like Olivia, I wasn’t ready. Bryan wasn’t ready either. And, well, let’s just say that things can happen when you’re not ready.

Olivia flips the omelet in the cast-iron frying pan. “What kind of cheese do you want? American or Swiss or Muenster?”

“Swiss. Are you sure you don’t want me to help?”

Cole sits at the table checking sports scores on his cell phone.

“No. It’s almost done. Wheat or white toast?”

“Wheat. With some mustard.”

Olivia divides the omelet and slides half onto wheat toast for Cole and half onto white toast for her and carries it over to the table along with the mustard.

“That looks amazing,” Cole says.

Olivia sits down across from him. “Told you I could make a wicked omelet. The trick is to add a little milk, just enough to make the omelet light and fluffy. And to use a whisk to mix it. Not a fork.”

“I didn’t know you were so domestic,” Cole says.

“There’s probably some other things you don’t know about me.”

“Like what?”

“Like my favorite color is pink.”

“I knew that. Even if you hadn’t told me I’d know because you wear so much of it.”

“True,” Olivia says. “OK. Here’s something you didn’t know about me. I was adopted.”

Cole’s eyebrows arch. “I had no idea. How come you never told me that before?”

Olivia shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t talk about it much. It’s not that I’m ashamed of it, but it’s just that when I think about it, it hurts a little. To think that my birth mom didn’t want me. Luckily for me I ended up with the best parents in the entire universe.”

“Ever wonder about your birth mom? Enough to find out more, I mean?” Cole asks.

“I thought about it, but only briefly. I wouldn’t want to do that to my mom and dad. I wouldn’t want them to think that I don’t love them. I know that they wanted a baby for a long time before I came into their lives and when they finally got me, it was a dream come true. At least that’s what they’ve always told me. Still, I do wonder what she was like. If I look like her. If she loved to dance as much as me. That sort of thing.”

Cole sips his Coke and takes another bite. “Well, you ended up with a great family.”

“True. Now your turn.”

“For what?”

“Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

Cole scratches his head. “Not sure there’s anything that would really surprise you.”

“It doesn’t have to surprise; it can be anything.”

“OK. I got something. I had hernia surgery when I was in fourth grade.”

“Ouch. Did it hurt?”

Cole shakes his head. “Not really.”

“How did you find it?”

“Well, don’t laugh. But my balls, er, scrotum, got big. I thought I was dying. I didn’t want to show my mom so I showed my dad.”

“It was that big?”

“Yeah. Bulging.”

“Some girl in my dance class had a hernia once,” Olivia says. “She showed me the bulge in her upper stomach. I think she strained herself lifting weights or something. Got anything else good?”

Olivia and Cole continue sharing. I learn that Cole was an altar boy, that his favorite book is The Count of Monte Cristo — despite its length — that he has a black belt in Tang Soo Do, that his favorite cereal is Frosted Flakes and that if he could pick anywhere in the world to vacation it would be Rome, Italy — he loves studying the great Roman Empire and he could totally live on pasta and gelato.

Watching the two of them exchange likes — and dislikes — made me realize how very little I knew about Bryan.

I couldn’t tell you what his favorite food was or his favorite vacation — if he even went on vacation — or his favorite TV show or movie. Odd that you can be so close to someone and not know basic stuff like their favorite TV show or food. Or where they live or work.

It’s the reason why when I went looking for him I couldn’t find him. I didn’t know where to even begin to look. Guess he wanted it that way. Probably figured he was going to use me and then ditch me when he got bored. That’s probably why he kept everything to himself. Why else would someone just stop calling, stop coming around, drop out of your life completely? It’s the only thing that makes sense. There’s no other explanation.

Cole helps Olivia put the dishes in the dishwasher. “Want to pick up where we left off upstairs?” he whispers into her ear.

Olivia puts her arms around Cole’s neck and he bends down to kiss her. I feel the intense feelings Olivia has for Cole, that deep euphoric feeling of love that consumes her. I feel her heart flutter and the tingling feeling that pervades her tiny teenage body with a yearning so deep and a curiosity so raw it stuns me. And yet I fear for her, fear that she’s not ready, not thinking as clearly as she should. But I can’t stop her and Cole. All I can do is watch and record.

I’m embarrassed by being part of such a private moment. To watch them clumsily undress and make out and then, just when I think I should look away, it happens. I feel a stabbing pain and I gaze at Olivia’s face, looking for a sign she’s OK. And then I see it even before she does. The sheet is covered with blood.