The Mountain Shadow (52 page)

‘Sanjay has paid everyone,’ he said. ‘There will be no trouble. But it is as I expected. I must go north to the brothers in Delhi for at least a week. I must go tonight.’

‘A week?’

‘Not a day less, out of the city.’

‘I’m coming with you. You’ve got enemies in Delhi.’

‘I have enemies everywhere,’ he said softly, lowering his eyes. ‘As I have friends. You cannot come with me. You will leave for Sri Lanka, and complete your mission there, while this matter of the shooting at Leopold’s is resolved.’

‘Slow down, brother. I’m quitting the Sanjay Company, remember?’

‘I told that to Sanjay, and –’

‘You what?’

‘I told Sanjay that you want to leave.’

‘It should’ve been me who told him,’ I said, quietly angry.

‘I know, I know,’ he replied. ‘But I have to leave for Delhi, tonight. I will not be there, when you tell Sanjay, and that would be too dangerous without me. I decided to do it now, to see if his reaction presents any danger to you.’

‘Did it?’

‘Yes, and no. He was surprised, and very angry, but then he calmed down enough to say that if you complete this last mission for the Company, he will allow you to leave. What do you think, Lin?’

‘That’s all he said?’

‘He also said that if you had any family here, they would already be dead.’

‘And?’

‘And that he will throw you to the dogs, very happily, when your mission is completed.’

‘Is that it?’

‘All but the cursing. He is a foul-mouthed man, and he will die cursing,
Inshallah
.’

‘When do they want me to leave?’

‘Tomorrow morning,’ he sighed. ‘You take the train to Madras. Then you will leave by cargo ship, for Trincomalee. Company men will be waiting at VT station tomorrow morning, at seven. They will have all of your tickets and instructions.’

Sri Lanka, cargo ship, instructions: I took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

‘Sri Lanka?’

‘You gave your word, that you would do it.’

‘I did, and I regret it.’

‘After this mission, you will be free. It is a clean way out. I think it is wise for you to agree. I will not be able to remove Sanjay for some time, and this way, you will be safe.’

‘Okay. Okay. Okay,
Inshallah
. Let’s ride.’

‘Wait,’ he said, leaning in close. ‘In the next weeks of your life, my brother, you must walk and talk very carefully.’

‘You know me,’ I smiled.

‘I do know you,’ he said solemnly. ‘And I know the demon inside you.’

‘Uh-huh?’

‘There are demons in all of us. Some of them do not mean us any harm. They just want to live inside us. Some of them want more. They want to eat the souls that hold them.’

‘You know, Abdullah, I’m not really same-page with you on the demon thing.’

He looked at me for a while, wind-worried leaves drifting in his amber eyes.

‘Hey, it’s okay –’ I began, but he cut me off.

‘I have heard you say that there are no bad or good men. That the deeds we do are good and bad, not the people who do them.’

‘It was Khaderbhai who said that,’ I replied, looking away.

‘Because he heard it from Idriss,’ Abdullah said quickly, and I looked back at him. ‘Every wise thing Khaderbhai said, was first said by Idriss. But in this, I do not agree with Idriss or Khaderbhai or you. There are bad men in this world, Shantaram brother. And in the end, there is only one way to deal with them.’

He started his bike and rode away slowly, knowing I’d catch him.

Karla joined me, and I kicked the bike to life. She got up behind me. That perfume: cinnamon, and pure
oud
. For a satin second her hair was against my neck.

The engine rumbled, warming. She leaned close, one arm over my right shoulder, and one under my left. Her word-tattoo hand was on my chest.

I heard the music, inside. Home. Home is the heart you’re born to love.

We rode gentle curves and slopes, as the shadow of the mountain that brought us together vanished in the praying hands of trees. I had to brake hard on the dark road to avoid a fallen branch. She fell into me softly and held me. I didn’t know where her body ended, and I began. I didn’t want to know.

I pulled away at speed to make the steep climb over the next hill. She braced herself, her hands hard on me. At exactly the right moment her palms and fingers slid across my ribs to find my heart, and held me as we crested the last dome of trees.

When we reached the main road I swung shakily, love-clumsy, into fast clever traffic. A prodigal wind kissed her hair around my neck. And she clove to me, her starfish hand on my chest, as we rode through splashes of light streamed from desire, dying on billboards along the stingray tail highway home.

Chapter Thirty

‘
T
HAT WAS A LONG GOODBYE,’
K
ARLA SAID,
watching Abdullah ride away from the wide space in front of the Mahesh hotel.

‘It was a long ride,’ I said.

‘Yeah, but, Abdullah, emotional. That’s not something you see every day.’

‘What can I tell you, Karla?’

‘What you can tell me is what you’re not telling me.’

Khaled’s money will buy many guns
, Abdullah had whispered to me in goodbye. It wasn’t especially emotional.

‘It’s complicated,’ I said.

‘Still not telling me.’

She was still sitting behind me on the bike. In one hand she held the bag that Abdullah had carried for her on his bike. The other hand was on my hip. For once, I was glad to be on the other hand.

‘You know,’ I said happily, ‘I like this.’

‘Still not telling me.’

‘But I really
do
like
this.’

‘What?’

‘Sitting here, on the bike, and having a conversation with you like this.’

‘We’re not having a conversation.’

‘Technically, I think we are.’

‘
Not
telling me something doesn’t qualify as any kind of conversation, technically or otherwise.’

‘Maybe it’s a reverse conversation.’

‘There’s a forward step.’

There was a little pause. The space around us was clear and free. The storm had passed, and fresh monsoon winds cooled the coast behind us.

‘You know, it really is damn nice, talking to you like this, I gotta say.’

‘Since you gotta say it, does the bike have to be a part of the conversation?’

I turned the bike off.

‘So, what is it about this you like so much?’ she asked. ‘That we’re sitting so close, or that I can’t see your face?’

‘It’s because I can’t see
your
face. And . . . because we’re sitting so close.’

‘I thought so. Hey, wait a minute.
My
face is the problem?’

‘Your eyes, actually,’ I said, watching people, cars and horse-drawn carriages passing back and forth in front of the hotel.

‘My eyes, huh?’

I felt her voice everywhere that her body touched mine.

‘If I can’t see your eyes, it’s like we’re playing chess, and you just lost your queen.’

‘Is that so?’

‘Oh yeah.’

‘And I’m powerless and defenceless?’

‘Not defenceless. But there’s definitely some lessness here.’

‘Lessness?’

‘The opposite of moreness.’

‘And that turns you on?’

‘Kinda.’

‘Because you like
lessness
in a woman?’

‘Of course not. It’s because
looking
at you is like we’re playing chess, and I’ve got
one
queen, and you’ve got four queens, eight queens, sixteen queens –’

‘I’ve got sixteen queens in the game?’

‘Oh yeah. All green. Sixteen green queens. And I can’t see any of them right now, in this bike-talk. And I love it. It’s liberating.’

There was a pause. It didn’t last long.

‘
This
is the quality of your motorcycle conversation?’

‘It’s just a fact. A recently discovered fact, in fact. For now, sitting here like this, all your queens are locked in a box, Karla, and I’m loving it.’

‘You’re messed up, you know that?’

‘Oh yeah.’

‘My eyes are nothing,’ she said after a while, some puzzle in her voice.

‘Well, your eyes, and the heart behind them, are everything to me.’

She thought about it, maybe.

‘No, my will is everything.’

She repeated the last word, as if pushing it from her body.

‘Everything.’

‘I’m with you and Idriss on will, but it’s the direction it takes that interests me.’

She rested her forearms on my back.

‘When you were in prison,’ she asked slowly, ‘did you ever lose your will?’

‘Does getting chained to a wall and kicked unconscious count?’

‘Maybe. But when it happened, did you ever lose your will? Did they ever take your will from you?’

I thought about it for a while. Once again, I wasn’t sure where she was leading the conversation, or whether I’d like it when we got there. But her big question had a small answer.

‘Yeah. You could say that. For a while.’

‘I had my will taken from me, too,’ she said. ‘I’d rather kill, than let that happen again. I killed the man who did it to stop it from happening to some other me, somewhere else. I’ll never let anyone take my will again.’

The rebel yell: you’ll never take me alive.

‘I love you, Karla.’

She was silent, even her breathing soundless.

‘Did that freak you out?’ I asked after a while, staring ahead at the moving street.

‘Of course not. Honesty is my only addiction.’

She moved away from me, resting on her hands, and was silent again.

‘This bike-talk is fun,’ I said after a while. ‘You gotta admit.’

‘Then try holding up your end of the conversation. It’s tumbleweeds back here, Shantaram.’

‘Okay. Here goes. You talked about Ranjit, on the mountain. I didn’t say much then, but now that we’re bike-talking, I have a question. Why doesn’t Ranjit, who must keep living for a few months, just sell up and take you a long way from anywhere?’

‘He told you about the bomb, didn’t he?’

‘What did he tell
you
?’

‘He said you told him to fire the chauffeur. You were right, by the way. The guy was crooked.’

‘Ranjit went to a lot of trouble, asking me not to tell you, and then he went home and told you all about it.’

‘He’s a politician. Politics isn’t lying. It’s the art of knowing who’s lying.’

‘That still doesn’t answer the question. Why doesn’t he take the money and run? He’s a rich man.’

She laughed, surprising me, because I couldn’t read her face, and because I didn’t think any part of it was funny.

‘You can’t run away from the game, Lin,’ she said.

‘I like this conversation. What are we talking about?’

‘Wherever you find it,’ she said, leaning in close, her breath on my neck. ‘Whatever it looks like, when you find the game that hooks you, there’s nowhere else you can be. Am I right?’

‘Are we talking about Ranjit, or Karla?’

‘We’re both players.’

‘I don’t like games. You know that.’

‘Some games might be worth the play.’

‘Like being king of Bombay, for instance?’

I felt the tension move through her as she pushed away again.

‘How do you know that?’

‘He’s ambitious,’ I said. ‘It shows. He has enemies.’

She was silent for a while, and I had no clue to her thoughts. Bike-talking had its drawbacks.

‘Ranjit’s an imitation good guy,’ she said, ‘in a cast of genuine bad guys.’

‘An imitation good guy? They’re usually the ones who give genuine bad guys a bad name.’

‘Bad guys do a pretty good job of that on their own,’ she replied, laughing a little.

‘Why play games, Karla? Get out of this, now.’

‘I
game
, because I’m good at it. I game good.’

‘Walk away. If Ranjit’s so determined to be political, you’ve gotta be the one to walk away.’