The Mute and the Liar (19 page)

Relief
tidal-waves
over
me.
I
don’t
want
to
escape.
I
know
he
will
try
and
stop
me,
no
matter
what
I
do.
I
just
want
fresh
air,
and
to
feel
stable
ground
beneath
my feet.

One
question
has
been
clambering
up
my
skin,
like
frost
on
a
window.
What
if
he
knows
what
I
did?
I
am
so
worried
about
all
the
things
he
seems
to
know
about
me.
He
can’t
know
everything.
It’s
impossible;
there
is
just
no
way
it
could happen.

But
what
if
he
knows…

No. No
one
knows
that.
Don’t
be
stupid.
But what if he
does?

I
push that nagging, negative voice into
a
cobwebbed corner
in my mind.

Nick drives
into
the car
park
of
the next
service
station.
He
parks
and
gets
out
first,
and
holds
the
door
open
for
me.
I
thought
Jayce
was
going
to
come
with
us
to
keep
an
eye
on
me,
but
he
does
not
move,
instead
checking
something on
his
phone,
presumably
his
texts.

I
think
I’d
better
take
this
notebook
too.
I
don’t
want
Jayce
reading
it
again.

As
I
am
about
to
shut
the
door
of
the
car,
he
suddenly
looks
up
at
me
and
shouts
:
“
w
ait!
”

My
heart
starts
racing.
I
wonder
if
he
is
having
second
thoughts.
I
have
to
get
outside.
I
have
to
at
least
taste
reality,
even
for
a
second.
His
eyes
pierce
deep
into
mine,
but
there
is
something
vacant
about
them,
as
though
someone
has
switched
off
a
light
inside.

“
I…
I
never
had
a
lizard
called
Demetrius,
”
he
solemnly
tells
me,
never
looking
away
from
me.
It
takes
a
while
for
his
words
to
sink
in,
and
for
a
few
moments
I
am
left
staring
at
him
blankly,
confused
about
what
he
means.
“
I
wanted to.
But
my
mother
wouldn’t
let
me.
”

He
looks
at
me
for
a
little
while
longer,
something
almost
like
pain
glimmering
in
his
eyes.
Then,
like
a
passing
raincloud,
the
moment
is
gone
before
I
even
realised
it
was
there,
and
his
attention
flickers
back
to
his
phone.

So
that
means
he
lied?
He
lied
to
me
about
having
a
pet
lizard?
Who
the
Hell lies
about
having
a
pet
lizard?

Deciding
to
just
ignore
him,
I
turn
and
follow
Nick
into
the
service
station.
When
the
car
is
well
out
of
sight,
Nick
leans
in
close
and
gently
murmurs
in
my ear.

“
Okay,
don’t
worry.
Everything
is
under
control.
I
am
going
to
get
you
out
of
this
mess
as
soon as
possible.
”

He
smiles
at
me,
but
I
don’t
think
I
heard
him
right.
It
just
doesn’t
make
sense,
as
though
he
has
said
the
words
backwards.
He
knows
nothing
about
me. Why
would he
try
and
help
me?
I
decide
I
probably
didn’t
hear
him.

He
strides
inside,
whilst
I
hobble
behind
him
trying
to
keep
up.
He
leads
me
into
the
café
area,
where
a
few
travellers
sip
coffee
in
a
futile
attempt
to
stay
awake.
The
smell
of
it
intoxicates
the
small
room,
and
the
soft
whirring
of
classical
music
and
tired
murmuring
lull
the
place
to
sleep.
There
is
the
odd
clatter
of
cutlery,
the
muffled
sounds
of
distant
traffic,
and
the
mumbling
of
people
on
the
television
screen
in
front
of
us,
talking
about
things
that
don’t
matter.

Nothing
feels
real:
the
people
around
us
are
just
mannequins
and
the
ceiling
is just the lid of
a
jar.

We
stand
with
our
backs
to
a
wall
plastered
with
posters
of
tourist
attractions and
people
flashing
big
cheesy
grins.

Nick stuffs
a
hand in
his
pocket
and
passes
me
his
mobile
phone.

For
a
moment,
I
just
stare
at
it
incredulously.
Full
of
disbelief,
I
only
realise
he
is
trying
to
help
me
when
he
smiles
at
me
reassuringly.
Slowly,
it
dawns
on
me that
he
actually
is
trying
to
help me.

Happiness
suddenly
erupts
inside
me.
My
eyes
widen,
and
the
world
around
suddenly
seems
brighter,
as
though
peppered
with
lights
from
a
disco
ball.

This
is amazing!
He
is
trying
to
help me!
Nick
pushes
the
phone
into
my hands.

“
Call
the
police,
your
father,
anyone.
Tell
them
we
are
headed
to
Lorelai
Manor
in
the
south
of
Bath.
Then
we’re
going
to
go
back
in
the
car
like
nothing
happened,
and
hopefully,
when
we
arrive
at
Kit’s
house,
the
police
will already be there.
”