The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Two: Beyond the Veil (23 page)

Shrugging her shoulders, Aiva pressed the towel to her chest with one arm, sliding her legs into the oversized pants. Casually, she brought the shirt over her head, draping the wet towel over Callum’s shoulder. He accepted it gratefully, relaxing somewhat to turn and face her as she fussed with the laces, finding them inadequate. “This pair seems bigger than the last,” she frowned.

“You have probably lost a bit of weight as well. Your body isn’t used to what you’ve put it through over the last week.” Callum brought his hands to his waist, unlatching his belt to offer it to her. “Try this,” he nodded. “It might help hold it a little more.”

“And what about you?” Aiva asked, reluctantly taking the belt from Callum’s hand.

Callum gave a half-smile. “I have another. This one will go to better use in your possession.”

Aiva threaded the heavy leather through the metal loop, fastening it in a sturdy knot at her waist. It proved effective enough that she was able to move about without fear of the pants dropping to her ankles.

They stood in awkward silence for a moment. She felt wicked for staring at Callum’s bare chest. Suddenly bashful, she tilted her head to one side, lightly brushing her fingers through her hair in attempts to distract herself from the sight of him. “So…” she trailed off, clearing her throat uncomfortably. “I noticed we are heading west. Do you think the pirates are headed for Vaeduec instead of Palinon?”

“That is… very observant of you,” Callum glanced at her. He sounded impressed. Mildly surprised. “Yes, the trail turned west, but I find it hard to believe they would enter Syet territory. My suspicion is that they want us to believe they are going there. Or, they might intend to shift course at the border and try to trick us into continuing without noticing their change. That would walk us right into Vaeduec and at the mercy of the Syet. Regardless of whether they pass that way, we will not be crossing the border. I have already lost one of my men. I am not about to foolishly lead the rest to their deaths.”

Inhaling deeply, Aiva lowered her gaze to the ground, thinking carefully about what Callum was saying. If Callum chose not to follow, that would leave Shaelyn in great peril. The Syet were rumored to be violent beasts. They killed without mercy. For anyone to cross into their land would be a fatal error. “I am worried about Shae,” she sighed. It felt only fair for her to expose her uncertainty to Callum. He had bestowed the same honor upon her that afternoon. “When we first left Tanispa I don’t think I really considered how dangerous this was. But people are dying. I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to my sister.”

“I am not going to let anything happen to your sister,” Callum stated matter-of -factly. “Even if you hate me, I still consider her to be a part of my own family.”

“I don’t hate you,” Aiva cut in, lifting her eyes to his. “I just don’t know what to think of you.”

He looked shocked by her response. Confused. Hesitant. “Are we not friends?”

“We were. Fifteen years ago.” Aiva’s shoulders slumped forward. “My mother and father thought they were doing me a favor by arranging my marriage to a friend, but they did not realize they were attaching me to a complete stranger. I don’t know you anymore, Callum. In truth, I am a little afraid of you. This marriage was not something I wanted. I hope you won’t think less of me for feeling that way, but you have to at least understand. How well do you really know me? Am I anything like you remember?”

Callum’s eyes lingered over Aiva, analyzing every detail of her face in the dim light from above. “You have a shell around you that wasn’t there before. A barrier which I cannot seem to break through.”

“I have to protect myself. If I am going to be Queen, I cannot be gullible. I cannot let others tell me what to do. How to think. What to feel. I need to make a decision and stand by it. Over the years, I have learned that if I want something done, it is best done by myself. I dislike the thought of having to count on anyone else. Especially not someone who so easily forgets me.”

“Aiva, I never forgot you,” Callum frowned. “It pains me to think that you feel I did. I wrote letter after letter in hopes that you would write back.”

“Had you sent those letters, I might have.”

“Sent them?” He stared at her, mouth agape. “You have made this accusation in the past as well but I assure you those letters were sent. Nearly every week. How is it that they never reached your hands? Where exactly did they go?”

Aiva’s shook her head in disbelief. It couldn’t be true. Callum knew where to address a letter to her. If they didn’t find their way to the palace, then it was because he’d intentionally directed them otherwise. Nothing else made sense. The courier would never dare keep letters from her. She was the Princess. “I want to believe that you sent the notes you claim to have written, but I cannot. Even if you could produce evidence that it was true, and these letters simply never reached me, it changes nothing. We are still strangers, bound to one another by an arrangement that neither of us wanted. Maybe, if things were different, we might have had a chance at being friends again. The circumstances simply make that impossible.”

Lowering his eyes, Callum stared at Aiva, a pained expression on his face. He looked torn. Miserable. As if someone had just kicked him in the stomach. “That is it?” he asked. “This marriage is what strains our friendship?”

“I suppose that is the root of it, yes,” she nodded.

“And if I could find a way to discharge us from it?”

She held his gaze steadily. A release from the vows? This was unexpected. When she’d first come to him with the request of dissuading their parents, he’d argued their inability to do so. “You have my attention, Callum.”

Callum appeared pensive. At his silence, Aiva took a step forward, anxious. He stared down at her, the pained look in his umber eyes flashing brighter before dimming once again. “If… When you and I rescue Shae, your parents will be overwhelmed with gratitude, far more likely to hear reason.” Turning his gaze to the sky, Callum nodded in silent affirmation. “With what little of Karana’s eye watches us, let her be witness of my promise to you. I will see to an annulment of our marriage upon returning to Tanispa with your sister, by whatever means necessary.”

Aiva looked up at the crescent moon shining down from the darkened sky. Callum was offering her everything she wanted. Shaelyn’s safety – and her own freedom; if he could be trusted to keep his word. His proposal felt unbalanced in Aiva’s favor. She felt compelled to object solely on principle, but found her desire lacking. “What if our parents argue the annulment?”

“What can they argue?” he asked simply. “Our reception ended abruptly. The marriage was never consummated. If you wish, we can consider ourselves separated from this point on. No longer bound to one another. All I ask in exchange is for you to give me a chance to make up for the years we spent apart.”

“You would really do this for me?”

“I would do whatever you asked of me.”

“Then I accept,” Aiva nodded, reaching out to clasp Callum’s hand in hers, giving it a firm shake. He watched their joined hands, the crease on his forehead deepening. “I will hold you to it,” she continued. “If you seek the annulment immediately upon setting foot in Sivaeria, I will give you a chance to be my friend again.”

“You have my word, then.” He replied. His voice was softer. Quiet. Almost inaudible on the soft desert breeze. “However, if this is to be so, I should not be here alone with you. We cannot do anything which will make the others question the intimacy of our time in each other’s presence.”

“Agreed.” Aiva pulled her hand from Callum’s, stepping back to take in the sight of him there in the shadows. At that moment he looked wretched despite the smile on his lips. In the depths of his eyes there was a sadness beyond anything Aiva had seen within them before, wrenching at her heart to witness it now. But she couldn’t dwell on it. He was going to provide her with the annulment she desired. That was all she wanted to think about. A tiny sliver of hope amidst so many terrible things. “I will return to the camp, then,” she stated, sounding more uncertain than she’d intended. Gathering her discarded clothes from the shore, she gave one last look at Callum before turning away, no longer able to bear the desolate sight of his eyes.

“If anyone asks, I will tell them I did not see you here,” Callum stated softly, turning toward the pond once again to avoid the sight of Aiva. “We can begin our attempt at friendship when we return to the road. Which we should do soon. Our enemy will not likely stop so soon and we can’t afford to give them any more distance.”

.

Chapter Eight

Aiva sat on the edge of the wagon, legs dangling above the ground, lost in thought. The soldiers were sound asleep. Oblivious to her wakefulness. She’d considered trying to close her eyes for a short while, but rest was impossible since she’d spoken with Callum. The memory of his face haunted her. She pitied him, not wanting to believe that he was capable of the terrible things Dacian accused him of doing. The Callum she saw this evening looked so innocent. So gentle.

She knew that wasn’t always the case. Aiva had seen him slit the throat of a man with no remorse or hesitation. Callum was capable of bad things. He was capable of taking the life of another. So why was it so easy for her to forget about those horrible deeds in his presence?

She was tired of being angry. Tired of all the suspicion. Why couldn’t everything go back to the way it was before? As a child, there had been no questions. No worries of his allegiance. He had been her friend. Callum. The goofy son of the General whose company she couldn’t wait to have again, anxiously pacing the palace floor for him to arrive and chase her into the courtyard to play their silly games. He used to make her mad sometimes. Pushing her into puddles. Making fun of her dresses. And yet she’d enjoyed every minute of it. Life had never felt the same when he went away. It had been empty. Sad.

Everything was different now. She was different. No longer was she interested in being pushed around and teased. They were too old for that now.

Callum had brought this all on himself by choosing not to keep in touch with her. To tell her of his exploits. She would have loved to hear about it all! Stories of Callum on the water, fighting pirates. All the adventures he must have had. Aiva was jealous, in a way. Envious of the fact that he hadn’t shared it with her. That she couldn’t be there with him. Instead he chose the company of a traitorous wench who now threatened Shaelyn. Most times when she was reminded of that fact, she thought it was anger she felt. Sitting there in the darkness now, surrounded by nothing but lifeless, burnt sand, Aiva realized it wasn’t anger at all. It was in fact jealousy – though not toward the person she expected. She’d been convinced of her resentment for Callum, but it was the name Ireni that sent violent tremors of hatred throughout her body.

Ireni. The pirate woman who stole Callum’s heart. Took him away from her. Strangely, Aiva somehow felt she had a claim over Callum. Before he left, he had kissed her. That meant something to her. It was an unspoken promise between them that he had broken because of this woman.

Aiva buried her face in her hands, frustrated by the confusion that filled her thoughts. Why was she thinking about all of this now? She’d been blind to her emotions before, ignoring what they meant. Now she was beginning to wonder. Had she loved Callum back then? In her child-like innocence, had she really felt so strongly for him that it ate away at her, even now? It was easier to hate him than it was to admit that some part of her actually didn’t mind the thought of being with him. She was afraid of the possibility. Especially with so much in question about Callum now. If there was truth – any at all – to what Dacian said, then Callum deserved whatever punishment was dealt. It pained her to think about. The boy she’d known growing up wasn’t capable of such terrible things. But this man, the one she was joined with in matrimony, was very different. Aiva wanted the boy back. She wanted that day in the gardener’s shed to do over so she could convince Callum not to go away at all.

“You look rough, Princess,” Kaemin’s voice came quietly from beside the wagon. Aiva jumped in surprise, unaware of his approach, sand having muffled the sound of his footsteps.

“I think we all look rough. It has been a very tiresome week,” Aiva forced a smile, lifting her face from her hands to peer at Kaemin in the darkness. “What are you doing awake? I thought everyone was taking advantage of the time for rest.”

Kaemin shrugged, moving around the wagon to sit beside her. “I slept a bit earlier. The Captain was going to stay up to keep watch, but I caught sight of him after everyone had eaten. I am worried he might be falling ill. Of course he claimed he was fine. I insisted he lay down for a while so he could be more alert when we start moving. You look almost as bad as he. Are you alright?”

Her shoulders bowed forward under an invisible weight. She recalled the look in Callum’s eyes, knowing exactly what Kaemin referred to. “I don’t know,” she sighed, fighting back a strong urge to burst into tears. Why did it bother her so much? He’d offered her what she wanted. So why couldn’t she be happy?

“Aiva, did something happen?” Kaemin asked. Hesitantly he started to rest his arm around her shoulders to comfort her, letting it hang awkwardly in the air as if afraid to touch her. “I want to help, but I am at a loss as to how. I don’t spend a lot of time around married women. Am I allowed to console you?”

She couldn’t help but laugh through her building tears. It was funny to think of Kaemin’s unusual predicament. The two of them had been friends for so long, yet the changes in their lives of late left them in a position neither one knew how to handle. Aiva was married. Kaemin was engaged to Calie – the sister of his Captain. The man in charge of his career. Any fumble could bring disaster. But she wanted someone to talk to. Someone whose shoulder she could lean on. Lightly she tugged Kaemin’s arm down around her, sliding in to lean her head against his chest. “I am a bit lost, to tell the truth,” she frowned.

Kaemin chuckled at her wording. “I think we might all be a bit lost right now. We are, after all, in the middle of a desert.”

“No, that is not what I mean,” Aiva sniffled with a smile, grateful for Kaemin’s lighthearted humor. It made things feel less overbearing. “I mean with Callum.”

“Of course. Have you learned something new?”

“No, it isn’t that. Honestly, I don’t know what is going on.” Aiva gave in to the defeat she felt, sinking against Kaemin’s sturdy form. He was far more comforting than the silence she’d endured before he arrived. “He and I spoke down by the water. I explained to him how unhappy I am with the arrangement of our marriage and he – agreed to release me from it.”

Kaemin blinked in surprise, tilting his head down to gaze at Aiva. She could see the questions in his eyes, none of which she felt capable of answering. “Release you from it?” he inquired. “How? When?”

“He agreed to petition for the annulment when we get back to Tanispa with Shae. He said everyone will be in such high spirits they should be more amenable to our request. And with the wedding night being cut short – ” She blushed at the thought of continuing. It felt inappropriate to discuss the details of her and Callum’s relationship. For some reason the thought of it made her heart quicken nervously.

“I understand,” Kaemin squeezed her shoulders lightly. “From the sounds of things, you have nothing which would stand in the way of an annulment. I guess my question would be – is this what you want?”

She heaved a sigh, lifting her head to meet Kaemin’s gaze. “Should I want it?”

“That’s not a question I can answer,” he shook his head. “I am inclined to urge you not to seek separation, for the sake of both your families. But if you don’t love him, and if you believe it is impossible for you to be happy, then I cannot justify trying to sway your decision otherwise.”

“You see, that’s exactly it. I don’t know if I love him. I do not know if he and I can be happy together. I – ” Aiva exhaled. She disliked admitting her foolishness. It was always easier to pretend that she knew exactly what she wanted, but it was her pretending which landed her in the predicament she was in now. “When Callum returned from Siscal, I was so set on being angry with him that I worry I may have missed some opportunities. That I might have closed some doors which were better left open. If he and I were given more time before the vows were forced upon us, things might have been different. Now, when I think about the marriage, I feel trapped. I am… confused.”

“Confusion is not always a bad thing. There is one thing I am certain of, however.” Kaemin gave another squeeze, sweeping the area with his eyes. He leaned his head closer to Aiva, his tone hushed. “Callum cares very deeply for you.”

Aiva squinted at Kaemin, puzzled by his statement. “Did he tell you this?”

Kaemin smiled, giving a brief shake of his head. Nonchalant, he removed his arm from around her shoulders. “It doesn’t require words, Aiva,” he said quietly. “All of the men can see it when he looks at you.”

“Then why do I not see it?”

“Because you aren’t looking for it. You are looking for something else. Something which might not be there.”

“What do you mean?” Aiva peered at him quizzically.

“You still don’t really know what happened in Siscal, but when you look at Callum, all you search for is his guilt. If you do nothing but linger on an accusation, you won’t ever see anything else.”

Aiva pondered over his words. “What would you have me do, then? I cannot simply overlook such an extreme charge. Especially one which he has not outright denied. And this marriage was not my idea, nor his. I promised to give him a chance at friendship in exchange for the rescinded vows. Is that not enough?”

His eyes lowered to the ground, a somber expression on his face. Several deep breaths could be heard coming from him in the darkness as he considered his words carefully. “I hate to speak of it, but there are other possibilities which you have not considered.”

“Such as?”

“Aiva,” he sighed, glancing over to her, his soft green eyes glowing dimly. “What if we don’t find Shaelyn? The people will need you to be strong. To help them deal with the grief. Dissolving your marriage with Callum could upset more than just your families. It could throw the entire kingdom into unrest.”

“But Kaemin, I could not live that way!” she breathed, exasperated by the thought. “Are you suggesting I torture myself for the sake of the people? Would my failure to save my own sister not be enough punishment for me to endure?”

“It is a long road between here and Luquarr. You may learn a great deal about yourself along the way. About what you are capable of. You might be surprised to find that you aren’t as knowledgeable as you think you are. And there is nothing wrong with that. It will make you a better person.” Kaemin smiled at Aiva, reaching out to rest his hand on hers. “A better queen, Aiva. Tonight, I think I have seen a change in you already. I see more of your mother in your eyes.”

Flattered by his compliment, Aiva averted her gaze, unsure of how to respond. It meant the world to hear that she might resemble her mother. She wanted to be a good queen. To be fair and just. She grimaced to think of how poorly she’d handled her recent troubles. Minor in comparison to what she would be faced with as the leader of the Vor’shai. “It is no wonder Calie loves you so much,” she replied softly, saddened to picture her best friend sitting in Sivaeria, worried sick about her beloved.

His eyes brightened at the mention of Calie. With a smile, he nodded his head, sliding down to his feet to stand in front of Aiva. “I am counting the days until I see her again. Every minute away from her is like an eternity.” Offering his arms to Aiva, he lifted her from the wagon, setting her feet lightly on the sand. “We should get on the move again soon if we want to catch up to our enemy.”

Aiva nodded in agreement, feeling the weight on her shoulders lifted slightly. There was still much to do if they were going to find Shaelyn. And she wasn’t about to let her uncertainties cause them to linger longer than they already had. “Come,” she smiled. “Let us wake the troops. It is a long road ahead and we have wasted far too much time already.”

The next day passed with no sign of their enemy. Aiva chose to stay close to Gadiel and Callum, wanting to feel more involved in the plans. Come nightfall they were further from the dry climate of Carpaen’s central region, moving west, nearer to the treacherous border of Vaeduec. Tension was steadily increasing among the men, their discomfort growing with every step they took in the direction of Syet territory. The temperature was somewhat more bearable and the landscape greener when morning came again, though it didn’t seem worth the dangers they might unwittingly stumble upon.

Stepping off the road a few paces, Gadiel knelt down in the sparse grass, fingers splayed against the ground. Aiva watched him, intent, curious of what he might find. She wanted news of their enemy’s location. If they were making progress in closing the gap between them. It seemed like the pirates would have no choice but to stop and sleep eventually. There was no reason for them to not have been spotted yet.

Gadiel stared off into the distance. Listening. As if the wind whispered something only he could hear. After a moment a smile passed over his lips, eyes lifting to meet with Callum’s. “They aren’t far off,” he nodded, rising to his feet in a flourish. “An hour. If even so long. The traces are fresh. And, we are in luck. They have shifted to a more direct southward path.”

“We aren’t out of the woods quite yet,” Callum brought his hand up to shield his eyes, gazing in the direction Gadiel indicated. “Due south from here will still land us in Vaeduec. Perhaps I am the only one not comfortable with that, but I would like to avoid it at all costs.”