The Not Gate (Tom and Alice #1) (19 page)

‘ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS’

Sunday
28
th
January

A
lice adjusted the blue ribbon tied around her head and brushed her hair into place, god was she really doing this?

She opened her handbag and fished out the small baby doll nightdress she had purchased for Tom’s birthday. It was light blue silk just like the ribbon. She’d chosen it because it had reminded her of
Alice in Wonderland
, and as Tom’s presents had always made reference to it she wanted to do the same.

She pulled off her jeans, top, bra and pants and slipped on the blue knickers and camisole. She stared at herself in the hotel bathroom mirror and breathed out heavily, the room behind her was pure white and ultra-modern, it made her feel weird and nervous somehow. Like she was only playing at this.

Was this life she was living, really hers?

‘What’re you doing in there?’ Tom called from beyond the door, his accent stronger when she couldn’t see him.

She had darted to the bathroom as soon as they had got to their room, telling him she was going to sort his birthday present out. That had been ten minutes ago.

‘I’m coming… just wait,’ she breathed.

‘You have one minute and then I’m kicking the door in.’

She smiled to herself, ‘you’re an idiot!’

‘Fifty seconds…’

‘Just go and sit on the bed,’ she fiddled with her hair again, gave her teeth a quick clean and applied lip gloss. Lastly she spritzed on her new perfume.

‘Times up, I’m coming,’ he shouted mischievously.

Alice clicked open the lock on the bathroom door and stepped into the room with her eyes closed.

‘Holy fuck,’ she heard Tom whisper under his breath.

Alice opened one eye then the other and peered over at him, ‘happy birthday…’ she squirmed.

Tom fidgeted slightly on the bed where he sat, but didn’t take his eyes off of her. He just stared for long moments with his mouth slightly open.

‘Come here,’ his voice had that sudden roughness back, the control that made Alice feel so alive. She looked at him still semi-reclined on the pillows. He seemed relaxed but she knew he wasn’t. His fingers were knotted together across his stomach casually, but his fingertips were digging into his hands and his knuckles were turning white.

Alice walked slowly to the side of the big bed that was pristinely made with fine looking white linen.

Tom’s gaze coasted down her body, ‘no bra?’ he said staring at her nipples though the thin fabric. Alice shook her head.

‘This is very naughty Alice… I’m impressed,’ Tom leaned forward and pulled his jumper and t-shirt over his head and Alice smiled to herself.

‘Sit on my lap,’ he tapped his jeaned thighs. Alice took his hand and climbed clumsily on to the bed and straddled his strong legs.

‘Do you like your present then?’ she watched his ice blue eyes darken.

‘Well I would have preferred vouchers but…’ he smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, ‘…what do you think? Of course I do, you couldn’t have picked anything better.’

Alice giggled. ‘Good, because I do feel a bit silly.’

‘You certainly don’t look silly,’ he pushed Alice’s hair away from her face and kissed her hard, ‘I love you, Miss Rutherford.’

Her heart flipped over, ‘I love you,’ she said against his lips.

Tom grabbed her legs then and tipped her off his lap into the centre of the bed. He crawled slowly, predatorily towards her, pushing her back onto the mattress.

‘I don’t think I’ll throw the wrapping paper away though… if you don’t mind?’ he whispered roughly into her neck. She giggled back at him as he slipped the straps slowly from her shoulders.

SMILE

Sunday
28
th
January

T
om glanced over the rack of CDs, then back at Alice who was flicking through a magazine, quite in her own world. He thought back to hours before, how she had surprised him. Just when he thought things couldn’t get better between them, she pulls something that turns it up a gear again… bloody amazing.

Tom grabbed two bottles of water from the chilled cabinet and wondered back to her side.

‘Do you want some chocolate?’ he kissed the side of her head lightly.

‘No, I’m cool, thank you.’

‘I’m starving so I’ll have to get something, but don’t expect to have a bit, not now you’ve said no. You know I hate sharing food.’

Alice looked up at him and rolled her eyes. They had stopped at the motorway services for a toilet and provisions break, but it was nearly eight and he didn’t want to get her back too late and have too many questions asked by her parents. Even if she was seventeen, he didn’t want any unwelcome suspicion cast upon her.

Tom paid for the drinks, packet of prawn cocktail crisps and a chocolate bar. They strolled back past the small array of services shops. Once again Tom felt the unwelcome heavy pull in his heart happen upon him out of the blue. The day was almost done and their next encounter unplanned. How long from now would it be before he could hold her again? He didn’t know and he hated it.

‘Oh Tom, look,’ Alice pulled his arm and veered left towards the toilets.

‘What?’

Alice pointed towards a passport photo booth, ‘please let’s get our pictures done. I would love a photo of you… of us.’

‘I hate having my picture taken, Alice,’ he grumbled.

‘Why? You’re stunning!’

‘Oh Alice,’ he sighed and pulled the little curtain back and climbed inside, ‘come on then if I must.’

Alice squealed and pushed in beside him. Tom pulled the little half curtain closed. Turned and kissed her full on the mouth, any excuse.

‘Right, put the money in,’ Tom ordered briskly.

Alice put two pound coins into the machine and waited. The glass in front of them became mirrored slightly and a five second countdown started for picture number one. They put their heads together and smiled sweetly,
flash!

Picture two, Tom started to tickle Alice, who wriggled away trying to get him to stop and be serious,
flash!

Three, back to serious as ordered by Alice. Five second countdown, Alice put her head on his shoulder and Tom smiled… a little bit,
flash!

Last photo, Tom grabbed her and started to kiss her. Not just a small loving kiss staged for the photo, but a deep consuming kiss that would have been pure sex, if they had not been in a photo booth. Alice gripped his shoulders and melded her body to his torso. Tom’s hands delved into her loose hair and…
flash!

Tom’s chest rumbled as he stood and pushed her against the side of the booth, thrusting his hips forward into her lower belly, she moaned and seized his bottom pulling him closer.

‘Please collect your photographs from the tray outside the booth, thank you,’ an electronic female voice instructed them. Tom drew back and looked at the screen with distaste.

‘Saved by the bell. Come on beautiful.’

Outside Alice lifted the strip of pictures from the tray before Tom could see and she looked at them secretively, ‘oh that’s so sweet… and that one, too serious Mr Chambers,’ she shook her head, ‘but the last one is really steamy.’

‘Let’s have a look then…’ okay now he was interested.

‘No, maybe later,’ she stuck her nose in the air and waltzed off to the car.

Tom chuckled, ‘don’t worry, I don’t need to see them,’ he shouted.

Tom dropped her two streets away from her house just before 9.30pm. She had cried and hugged him tightly and he’d not wanted to let her go either, but he assured her they would make a plan for the following weekend and that they would see each other in the morning at school. Even if they would be playing their respective roles to academy award winning perfection. It would be better when he was out of that school, at least the pretence would be removed.

But their parting was getting harder now, the more they fell, the more it hurt.

He watched her walk slowly away from his car. Before she turned into her street she looked back, waved and blew him a kiss.

Tom flashed his headlights at her and he thought she smiled. He turned the car around swiftly and sped off. Half a mile down the road he wiped the back of his hand across his eyes.

Tears.

Actual fucking tears.

He couldn’t do this forever. If he couldn’t claim her as his, then what business did he have being in love at all.

SPRUNG

Monday
29
th
January

I
t was after midnight when Alice heard the light tapping on her bedroom door. She hadn’t been asleep, just lolling in bed with her eyes closed, thinking. She was always thinking now. The day had shown her what it would be like if they were allowed to be together and it had been quite wonderful, perfect even.

Tom had been relaxed and playful, romantic and bossy, all the things she loved about him. It could really work between them if they were only given half a chance and she had to believe Tom was starting to see it too.

‘Alice?’ her sister whispered as she gently pushed the door open.

‘Yes. Are you alright?’ Alice asked.

‘Can I come in?’

‘Yeah,’ Alice sat up and turned on her bedside lamp.

Stephanie was wrapped in her dressing gown and carrying a half-finished cup of coffee. She never slept very much. She was one of those people that seemed to need only three or four hours rest a night and then still woke annoyingly fresh and breezy every morning. Alice on the other hand needed at least seven hours or there was no hope for her the next day.

‘Not tired yet?’ Alice patted the bed and Stephanie flopped down beside her.

‘No, not really.’ Stephanie shrugged and placed her mug on the floor. She turned to Alice, ‘Why is there sand in your new shoes? I’ve just tried them on for a laugh and there’s sand on them and in them. Where have you been today?’

Alice fidgeted and hot panic spread across her forehead, ‘I told you I was at Ellie’s.’

Stephanie shook her head slowly, ‘what’s going on Alice?’

Shit, shit, shit.

‘Nothing’s going on, honestly,’ Alice smiled and nudged her sister. She wanted to tell her the truth, she knew she could trust her, about the only person she could trust with a secret like this. But fear for Tom kept it from escaping her mouth.

Moments passed in silence.

‘You’re not a virgin anymore, are you?’ Steph whispered the question, looking down at her hands. It sounded more like a statement of fact actually.

Alice silently counted to ten.

‘No.’

Her sister looked up at her. She didn’t look shocked, but her eyes were full of worry.

‘It’s secret for a reason, isn’t it?’ she said.

‘Yes.’

God, she couldn’t know?

‘Are you going to tell me why? Who?’ she said taking hold of Alice’s hand softly.

‘He’s… older and no I’m not going to tell you who it is, I can’t,’ Alice stated strongly. Her brain was screaming at her to shut up, but she couldn’t.

Stephanie cocked her head to the side in understanding and continued.

‘Is he married?’

‘No.’

‘Girlfriend or kids?’

‘No and no,’ Alice closed her eyes and tugged at her hair nervously, ‘god, this feels like a game of
Guess Who
. Does your person have a beard? Is your person Bernard?’ she laughed at herself trying to lighten the mood.

Stephanie smiled, ‘he’s not making you do anything you don’t want to do, is he?’

‘No.’

‘How much older is he? Is he old enough for mum and dad to go crazy?’ she said picking up her drink again and sipping it.

‘Yes, I suppose so. Early thirties,’ Alice looked for a reaction.

‘Shit, that’s really old! How can you want to sleep with him? I was thinking a fit twenty-four or something,’ Steph questioned her a little too loudly.

‘Shush will you!’ Alice hissed throwing her hands up in despair, ‘you have no idea how hot he is,’ she laughed then, ‘do you know I thought this would be awful, but it feels so good to be able to talk about it for a minute.’

‘Do your friends know?’

‘No,’ Alice said warily.

‘Just me?’ she confirmed.

‘Yes and keep it that way,’ Alice pleaded.

‘Duh, of course. Your dirty little secret is safe with me,’ she laughed.

‘Thank you.’

‘So…’ Stephanie looked under her eyelashes at Alice, ‘what’s he like in bed?’

‘Amazing,’ Alice felt her cheeks turning red, but she smiled broadly in spite of herself, ‘it’s fantastic. I can’t describe it.’

‘How many times have you done it?’

Alice rolled her eyes at the question.

‘Shall we just say approx then?’ Steph fished.

‘
…
nine, I don’t know?’ Alice smiled back sarcastically.

‘Are you in love, Alice?’ Stephanie’s question caught her off guard.

‘I am, madly,’ she looked at her sister and her eyes filled up with unshed tears. Stephanie pulled Alice to her for a hug and squeezed her tightly.

‘Please be careful,’ she whispered into Alice’s hair, ‘don’t get hurt, okay?’

‘Okay, I’ll try.’

‘If you need to share anything with me, I’m here,’ Stephanie said pulling her body off the bed and re-tying her dressing gown, ‘I’m going to get some sleep I suppose.’

‘Thank you, Steph,’ Alice whispered as she reached the door.

‘Just one more thing…’ she paused and looked back at Alice.

‘Yes?’

‘Is your person, Mr Chambers?’ Stephanie flashed her eyebrows at Alice and smiled a devilish grin.

Alice’s mouth dropped open and she stared dumbfounded at her sister. Her whole body began to shake and she didn’t know what to say?

‘I’ll take that as a yes,’ she grinned again widely like a wise-guy version of the Cheshire Cat, ‘I was always fab at
Guess Who
, far better than you,’ she said wagging her index finger at Alice.

‘I…’ Alice tried to speak.

‘Oh and incidentally, you’re right. He is way hot and I definitely would.’

‘But…’ Alice watched as her sister leave the room laughing quietly to herself.