Authors: Rose Gordon
Ella started, blushing. “Disappointed?”
He wiggled his toes at her. “No toe hair.”
“
You’ll never let me forget that, will you?”
He shook his head, grinning.
“I was actually surprised—not about the lack of excessive hair. It’s just that my father used to take off his boots and we’d all have nightmares filled with cracked and blackened toenails and mangled toes. I assumed since you’re also in the army...” She shrugged.
“
I didn’t fight a war, Ella.” He looked down at where her feet were submerged in the water. “I might not know your father very well, but I do remember being told he’d fought in the War of 1812. Conditions are harsh during wartime. Weapons break, clothes get thin and boots wear out.”
“
I hadn’t thought of that before,” she said with a hint of shame.
“
Most people don’t. In fact, most people don’t think about a foot unless it’s injured or it does something to them.”
She knit her brows. “Does something to—” Her words were cut off when a light spray of water came over her and a splashing sound filled the air. She looked down to their feet in the water. He dangled his as if he were completely innocent in her getting wet. “You’re a sneaky one.”
He grinned. “I tr—”
She kicked the water, sending a large spray onto him.
Jack’s grin grew, if such a thing was possible, and he kicked both of his feet, sending an even larger spray over her.
She squealed at the coolness of the water and got him back!
Water flew all around them as they both sat kicking and ducking and laughing. She gave him a playful nudge that sent him into the water. Were he anyone else, she would have been horrified at what he might say to her when he emerged, but just as his head came up, so did his cupped hands, sending a wall of water in her direction.
Her body shook with laughter, which evaporated a moment later when Jack’s hands found her ankles, stilling her kicking feet. His face had taken on a serious expression and he moved to stand between her parted legs, bringing the top of his head just under her nose. He released her ankles and cupped her face.
“You’re beautiful when you’re laughing.”
“
And I’m not when I don’t?” she teased.
He traced around her lips with the side of his thumb. “I didn’t say that.” He closed the gap between their bodies and touched his lips to hers.
Ella gripped his shoulders for support.
Jack brushed his lips over hers again, then pulled back and swallowed audibly, a pained expression on his face similar to the one she’d seen this morning. It was gone but a moment later, and so was he. “We should probably eat breakfast now.”
***
“
You brought more than bread, apples and jerky,” Ella cried with delight, when she opened the bag he’d brought with them. She withdrew some nuts and dried fruit. “These are my favorites.”
“
Good. You’ll be eating them a lot out here.”
She laughed and handed him an apple.
Ten minutes later, Jack had a stomachache from all the food he’d eaten. Two meals comprised of snacks didn’t seem very filling, but he’d over-indulged and now wasn’t feeling so well.
“
Here, lie your head in my lap and rest for a while.”
He wasn’t sure that was a good idea when he considered the state of his stomach, but something of his that resided a little lower than his stomach urged him to accept her offer.
“How’s that?” she asked as she ran a comforting hand through his hair.
“
Better.” He opened one eye to look up at her face, but was treated instead to a generous view of her breasts hovering over his face. He stifled a groan.
“
Is something wrong?” She bent forward just enough for him to see her puckered brow. Not that he looked at her face for long, his eyes were drawn right back to her breasts the same way a needle was to true north.
Jack squeezed his eyes shut and his mind spun. He wasn’t sure what to trust anymore—his mind or his heart? He wanted Ella, desired her more than he’d ever dreamed possible. She, too, seemed to desire him. She hadn’t backed away from his kisses. In fact, she’d seemed to encourage him. Pressing her body against his on the horse, allowing him to undress her and wash her in the tub, and now making it impossible for him to think of anything but her and her breasts.
He’d sensed by her letters that she wasn’t without humor and had hoped to see that when she recovered. Consequently, he knew that was genuine, but what of her flirtations? Did she truly desire him the way he desired her? Her reactions to his kisses would suggest such, but she’d made it clear on their wedding day that she wouldn’t engage in intimacies with him. What had changed her mind? He hadn’t done a single thing to win her heart. Except save her life.
Another sort of sick feeling settled in his stomach and his mouth went as dry as a dirt clod. Was her sudden interest in a physical relationship only because he’d saved her? Was this her way of repaying his kindness? Did she feel indebted to him and thought to offer him pleasure to make things right?
He couldn’t possibly ask her that, for what if he was wrong and he falsely accused her of something so cruel? He’d undo everything that had been done.
It’d be best if he kept his eyes shut, where he could safely undress her all he liked...
~Chapter Thirty-One~
Michaela bit her lip. Hard. They’d only arrived in Fort Smith fifteen minutes ago and they were already leaving? Pa had promised they’d stay there for a few days. Of course she was excited to see Ella, but she was also not yet ready for what would unfold upon their arrival.
Across from her, her father gripped a bundle of papers encased in a leather pouch as if they were made of gold. She shook her head at the memory of the entire exchange. They’d walked into the commanding officer’s office, and immediately, everyone in the room rose to attention and saluted her father. Pa had just lowered his hand from returning their salute when General Bridges thrust a packet of papers toward him saying, “These were brought over a few days ago by Captain Montgomery from Fort Gibson.”
Pa hadn’t said hardly a word since. Not that he needed to. She knew he’d planned to stay in Fort Smith with the sole purpose of dredging up every known fact about the man they knew now as First Lieutenant Jack Walker, recently promoted. She’d never expected that all of it had already been compiled and was waiting; by the way Pa’s face had gone as white as a sheet, she’d wager he hadn’t expected it, either.
A sheen of sweat glistened over his downcast face and he clenched the papers tighter.
“Much tighter, Pa, and you’ll rub the ink right off.”
He nodded. “Indeed.”
“Would you like for me to read those papers for you?” She hated the way he looked so forlorn, as if the realization of losing Ella for good had finally taken hold in his mind.
“
No.” He cleared his throat and pulled the papers from the leather pouch then set it on the cushion beside him. He quietly untied the string and began reading. He flipped the page and scowled. Then another. And another.
Michaela watched her father’s face with keen interest, hurting a little on her sister’s behalf each time her father scowled or twisted his lips in distaste.
He heaved a heavy, tormented sigh and tossed the stack of papers down on the seat beside Michaela.
Michaela picked them up. She’d never been so forward as to read his correspondence before, but he had put them right next to her, hadn’t he? She sucked in a breath as she read the eight pages of her brother-in-law’s semestral assessments at West Point. He was not an academic. Nor a favorite among his instructors, it would seem. Her heart sank a little lower reading their notes. It was almost as if they’d wanted him to fail. She got to the final page and had to catch her breath. He’d graduated at the absolute bottom of his class, and it was recommended he be sent to Fort Gibson for no other reason than the fort needed able bodies. He’d either be forced to learn and implement skills necessary to be a good officer there or die. And just under it was the signature of the recommenders commanding officer, granting approval.
Michaela straightened the papers and reached for the leather case they’d come out of. She opened it and found a loose note in the bottom. She pulled it out and debated reading it herself first. “Pa, you missed something.”
He threw his head back against the side of the carriage and groaned. “I don’t even want to know.”
“I think you do,” she murmured as she began to read.
Dear Sir,
Though it has been many years since I was under your command at Camp Coldwater, I hope you will trust my judgement.
I must confess that I did not recognize little Elinor when she first arrived, but then I expect that I have aged and become unrecognizable to her as well. She’s grown into a beautiful young lady over these past fifteen years. I want you to know, sir, that she is well taken care of. But why wouldn’t she be? She did marry one of my finest men, after all. If you’re reading this after you’ve read the reports, as I am assuming you are, then you might question just what kind of men I’m commanding here. Brave men, sir. Men with heart and valor. Men who rise with the sun after only a few hours of sleep. Men who toil in the hot sun without the luxury of shade or cool water and spend winter without gloves and with only half-sized rations. Men who risk their lives every day just by being here. And men who long for a wife to love and protect—even if that means defying the general’s orders and sneaking into an Indian camp to get medicinal help, and convincing his commanding officer to stand guard in the watchtower while begrudgingly allowing another officer to go along.
First Lieutenant Jack Walker is all of the above and one of the only men out here I’d trust with my life and would without question allow to marry my daughter, for she’d be very fortunate to have him. When he first arrived, I read over his records, the way you taught me to, and I was prepared for the worst. But when I saw him in action, I had a hard time reconciling the man in front of me with the one whose school records I held in my hand.
Please regard my recommendation however you wish, for I speak only of deeds and character, not matters of the heart. But just in case you were wondering, they are as evenly matched as you and Mrs. Davis were.
Regards,
Col. George Lewis
For the second time in the last fifteen seconds, Michaela’s heart stopped. Uncle George. Her memories of him were vague as she was only nine and he a lieutenant under her father’s command. She folded the paper and put it into her father’s hands for him to read when he was ready.
~Chapter Thirty-Two~
Ella ran her fingers through Jack’s silky hair. So soft and thick, she could touch it forever. She traced the edge of his jaw with the tip of her index finger. His mouth hung open a fraction, revealing his row of slightly crooked but well-maintained teeth, and soft snores filled the air. She knew he had to be tired from the lack of sleep he’d had while she was sick.
What a fortunate woman she was to marry a man like him. So strong and brave yet sweet and considerate.
He made a sound akin to a groan in his sleep. Ella smiled at the man she fancied so much and put her hand on his shoulder, then moved it to his chest. He half groaned, half grunted again and his body jerked.
She undid a few of his buttons and slid her hand into his shirt. The skin on his chest felt warm and smooth. She lowered her lashes and hid her smile when her fingers brushed the few stray strands of short hair he had in the center of his chest, then moved her hand across to touch his thick muscles. She took her hand from inside his shirt, undid the remaining buttons and pulled his shirttails from his trousers, then ran her fingers through the coarse hair above his waist that bisected his flat stomach. Under her fingers, his muscles leapt, but he made no sound.
She caught Jack’s eye then, but he didn’t say anything, just watched her with an intense gleam in his eyes and a clenched jaw. She inched her fingers back down to his waistband, and if it was possible, his face grew harder and his stare intensified. Would he stop her? Did she want him to? She’d been curious about that part of him since he’d placed her hand there yesterday. When she’d first seen him naked a few nights ago after she’d woken up from her fever, she hadn’t paid his body much mind. But now she was certainly interested.
Ella skimmed her hand lower and lower until the unmistakable firmness of his arousal inside his trousers filled her hand. She gave him a light squeeze and Jack groaned. She did it again, eliciting the same response. His eyes now were only half open, a sign she assumed was that of pleasure. Emboldened by the effect she was having on him, she released his length and moved to unfasten his trousers.
“
Don’t,” he rasped, stopping her hand.
“
Don’t you like it?”
“
Yes.” He rolled off her lap and took to his feet. “But it’s not right.”
She blanched.
Not right?
She’d never touched a man there before. How was she supposed to know she wasn’t doing it right? Mortified, she idly picked off the loose blades of grass that were on the picnic blanket.
“
It’s probably time for the rounders game, anyway.”
Of course. It would be a crime against the game and all those who’d gathered to play it if they were to miss it because they were otherwise occupied.
The ride back to the barracks was quiet and uneventful.
Ella was clearly awful at seduction and had tried everything she’d thought might work. It might be time to forget her pride and seek advice from Allison.
Once they reached the fort, Jack took care of rubbing down the horse and putting him away. Then they walked to the field where the men had gathered to play.
“
It looks like they’ve already started.” Ella scanned the crowd of those seated for Allison and frowned. “Does Allison not watch?”
“
No. She prefers to play.”
“
Really?”
He nodded. “Did you want to play?”
She laughed at the hesitation in his tone. “No. It’s a man’s game. I understand that.”
Jack spun her around to face him. “No. It’s not that. I don’t mind sharing my turn with you, but I don’t think its best until your leg is a little better.”
He was right. Her walking had been slow with the frequent need to sit. She’d never be able to run the bases. And if she accidentally got hit in the leg by the ball? She winced at the thought. “Where can I sit to watch?”
Jack led her to a little row of two chairs. “If you’ll wait here, I’ll go see if I can find Allison and have her join you.”
Ella sat and watched his broad shoulders as he walked away. If Allison liked to play, she probably wouldn’t much care to sit with her.
“
We weren’t sure you were coming,” Allison said when she walked up a moment later, a little smile playing on her lips.
“
We went on a picnic this morning by the river and Jack fell asleep.”
Allison gave a little giggle. “That happens sometimes.”
Ella was sure she didn’t know what Allison meant and even more certain they weren’t talking about the same thing. “No, Allison, he really did fall asleep.”
“
I’m not doubting that.” Allison clapped and cheered as Wes hit the ball, sending it out beyond the outer reaches of the field where the men played. “My experience is limited only to Wes, but sometimes he’ll fall asleep right after.”
“
Right after what? Eating?”
Allison laughed but kept her attention to the game. “That, too, but only when I’ve made an extremely large meal and he eats himself sick.”
“That’s what Jack did.”
Allison turned in her chair, her soft eyes, searching Ella’s face. “Is something wrong?”
“No. Not wrong. Just confusing, I suppose.”
“
Does this have anything to do with the gun cover you had in your purse yesterday?”
Ella bit her lip as heat crept up her face. “It might.”
“You do know that Mrs. Lewis was talking in riddles. That thing does not go over the pistol he carries in his gun belt.”
“
I know. He told me.”
Allison’s head turned to the side just a little. “Did he not explain everything, then?”
“I think he did,” Ella said. She paused to watch Jack hit the ball. It didn’t go as far as Wes’, but he was still able to get two bases. “He said he’d use it so I don’t conceive.”
“
Did he tell you why it’s best that you do not conceive so soon?”
Ella dismissed her question with a wave of her hand. “Yes, and I’m not concerned about that.”
“I don’t mean to offend or insult you, but is there something else wrong?”
“
Something else?”
Allison waited a minute to answer while the men switched sides. “Do you not enjoy his attentions?”
“I do.” Ella folded her hands in her lap. “But he doesn’t seem to like to give them.”
“
Are you sure?”
“
Yes, I’m fairly certain.” Ella grimaced. “He’s only kissed me three times, once yesterday and twice today.”
“
At least the number is increasing,” Allison quipped with a grin.
Ella shook her head. “Yesterday’s was a better kiss.”
“Better?”
“
Today, he just brushed his lips over mine two times. Yesterday, he was more...passionate.”
A strange expression came over Allison’s face. “Was he more passionate
after
the kiss yesterday?”
“
Yes,” Ella said without hesitation. He’d been far more interested in her after their kiss yesterday than today. “But
before
the kiss, he’d been less passionate yesterday than today.”
Allison picked up her chair and turned it to put her back to the game. “I’m sorry. I think I’m getting distracted which is causing me to not understand you correctly. Can you explain that again?”
“Yesterday, after Jack came to get me at Mrs. Lewis’, he took me out to shoot his gun. His real gun. Only, I didn’t know at the time that Mrs. Lewis had been talking in riddles, and when I suggested he might need the covering, he tried to explain what it was for but ended up kissing me in a way I didn’t expect.” Her face flamed and she had a hard time holding Allison’s gaze. “When he was done, he...uh...moved my hand to help me solve Mrs. Lewis’ riddle. Then he touched me and stayed within inches of me while I learned to shoot. Today, we were on a picnic, having fun, when he came close to kiss me and just brushed his lips over mine. I thought he might kiss me as he had yesterday, but he just pulled away and insisted it was time to eat. Then, he ate so much he got a stomachache and fell asleep.”
Allison narrowed her eyes and looked beyond Ella’s left shoulder. “Is there anything else?”
“Anything else?”
“
Has he tried to touch you intimately or even made naughty suggestions?”
“
He’s made a few suggestions, but then he’s quickly changed the subject. And he’s brushed past me and has accidentally touched me places only a husband is allowed, but it’s as if he doesn’t realize he’s done it or it has no effect on him.”
“
What do you mean by has no effect on him?”
If Ella thought her face was flaming hot before, it was now being consumed by the fire. “I’ve been responsible for some of the touching,” she admitted. “Please don’t think I’m fast or have loose morals, but I’ve pressed against him when I didn’t think it’d be obvious, and he doesn’t seem to notice.”
“Have you done anything else?”
“
Such as?”
“
Been obvious?” Allison blew out a breath. “Most men are visual creatures, Ella. They get more excited at seeing. Have you given him anything to feast his eyes upon?”
Ella nodded sadly. “I asked him to help me undress last night when I went to take a bath. He did, but then he faced the other way while I bathed.”
“Perhaps you should invite him to help you.”
“
I did that, too. I asked him to help me wash my leg, since I didn’t want to get it wet yet.”
Allison gave her head a little shake as if she’d been distracted by something momentarily and said, “Did he?”
“Yes. But he was very detached. It was as though there was nothing special to him about the moment, and I was just a wounded body that needed to be bathed.” A single, hot tear slipped from her eye and she dashed it away.
“
To be fair to him, he did spend a week doing that very thing.”
“
I know.”
“
Is there anything else you’ve done?”
“
One other. Today I touched him...
down there
.”
“
And how did he respond to that?”
“
He didn’t say anything, but his pistol transformed into a rifle.” She paused a moment to let Allison take in her meaning. “Then when I went to unfasten his trousers, he pulled my hand away, moved away from me and said I wasn’t doing it right.”
“
Wasn’t doing it right?” A flabbergasted expression came over Allison’s face. “I wasn’t aware that there was a wrong way to touch a man there. Unless you’re
trying
to hurt him.”
“
No, I wasn’t. He just said something wasn’t right, then said it was time to go.”
“
It sounds to me as if he’s resisting his body’s reaction.”
Ella frowned. “Why would he do that?”
“Perhaps he doesn’t think you’re well enough yet?”
“
I don’t think that’s it. I might stumble when I walk sometimes, but I’m not that weak.”
“
Then why do you think he resists you?”
“
I don’t know. I thought it might be because I told him when I first arrived that I wouldn’t share his bed, but surely he’d know if I’m willing to allow him to kiss and touch me and see me naked that I’d welcome his intimate touch.”
“
Not necessarily. It might be that he mistakes your actions as purely innocent.” Her face took on a grim expression. “Or he might think you’re teasing him.”
“
Teasing him?”
“
I’m not saying you are or even that Jack thinks you are, but it’s possible. There are many possibilities. He might think you’re offering your body to him as a way to make amends about what happened with the colonel or as a misguided thank you gesture for his taking care of you when you were sick. He might have the exact same feelings and desire as you do but is too shy or fearful of being turned away to act on them. There are many things it could be.” She moistened her lips. “I know this might not seem easy, but have you considered just talking to him about it?”
“
You mean tell him that I’d share his bed?”
“
I think it might sound a little better if you make sure to add the word ‘want’ in there. That you
want
to share his bed.” She winked. “It might be hard to say, but I assure you that it will be well worth it.” Allison threw her head over her shoulder. “They’re switching sides again. Do you mind if I go see if Wes will let me have his turn? If you’d like, I’ll tell Jack you mentioned something about returning to your room while I’m there.”
“
Do you think he’ll mind missing the game?”
“
For the game he’ll get to play at the barracks? No.”