âA Heroic Tailor can fix that,' he says.
âMore to the point, why do you have a tattoo of a willy on your arm?' asks The Gamer.
âA what?' says Torch. âIt's a finger pointing, with flame.'
He strains his neck to get a better look at the tattoo.
âIt's a doodle, Torch.' Cannonball is shaking with laughter.
âIt's a “stylised” finger â pointing. With a flame shooting out of it.'
âThis is why your arm has been sore?' I say. âBecause you had a “sausage and two veg” tattooed onto your arm?'
âIt's a Heroically clenched fist. It's a pointing finger. Look how cool the flame is.'
âTorch,' says Logi-Gal. âTorch, Torch, Torch.'
âYou guys are just jealous because you don't have a cool Hero tattoo,' he fumes.
âI wonder if my agent would approve of ink?' Cannonball wonders, but then stops dead. âOh no, look who's coming.'
Five girls are standing at the end of the alley. They're all about 12 years old and when they spot us, they automatically strike dramatic poses. Then the lead girl snaps her fingers and they walk, in a pre-arranged choreographed routine using an exaggerated stride that makes their hips and hair and capes sway a half-beat off their step. A couple of metres from us, the lead girl raises a hand and twirls a finger and, as one, they stop and pose again.
âLike, the OK losers. Wassup?'
The lead girl, the one doing the talking, is wearing a deep blue costume that looks more like a dancer uniform than Hero wear. She has a bowler hat tilted over her left eye and a shimmering sequinned T on her chest. Her face has a light dusting of glitter and she's wearing flashy sequinned gloves.
âHow's it going, Yesterday?' I ask.
âIt's Tomorrow Girl now, Focus. You know that, or has your brain gone fuzzy too?' she says.
âTomorrow Girl!' Cannonball snorts. âI can't believe you changed your name after one very debatable future vision over a year ago.'
âNot debatable. Confirmed. I can see the future,' she says, âAnd yours isn't pretty.'
She clicks her fingers and the five girls synchronise their shift to a different pose.
âMan, are you pimple-heads Heroes or a girl band?' Torch sneers.
âYou can be Heroes
and
performers, Torch,' she says. âAnyway, there are plenty of Heroes catching bad guys. We have better things to do.'
âLike Hero make-up,' says one of the G
rl-Stars.
âAnd Hero fingernails,' says another.
Tomorrow Girl flicks her hair and squints at Torch. âUm, like, why have you got a tattoo of a . . . you know . . . on your arm, Candle? I hope it's one of those temporary tatts.'
âYou wouldn't understand. It's a grown-up concept,' says Torch.
She leers at him. âHey, I hear Switchy is pursuing individual projects. Another Hero too good for Cannonball and his loser gang.'
âYou used to be one of us, Yesterday,' I say.
âYeah, but now I have my own crew. Right, G
rl-Stars?'
The other four nod in carefully choreographed unison.
âTotally.'
âS'right!'
âDamn straight, girlfriend!'
âSweet.'
âWord!'
Cannonball can barely contain himself. âIf you weren't my sister, Yest â sorry, Tomorrow Girl, I'd laugh you and the G
rl-Stars out of town.'
âBut Mum would be mad, so you won't,' she says sweetly. âAnyway, like, later, C-graders. We're heading to Northland. Hit it, sistas!'
As one, they break into song, while performing a choreographed dance step.
G
rl-Stars
That's who we are
Girls and stars
Yes we are!
Her-oes!
And we're girls
We like to fly
And we like to twirl
âAnd the winner for worst song ever is . . .' says Cannonball.
Tomorrow Girl examines a finger nail. âLike you'd even know popular culture if it smacked you across your unfashionable black helmet, brother dearest.'
âActually,' says Logi-Gal, âpop culture, as an entity, isn't a solid, physical being and therefore would be incapable of actually making contact with another object, per se. Plus I think this time Cannonball has got it right.'
âWhatevs, Library-Head,' says Tomorrow Girl. And on an invisible signal all five strut past us with their synchronised swagger, staring moodily into the middle distance like catwalk models.
âThey appear to be channelling their youthful insecurity into ridiculous posing,' Logi-Gal says, nodding. âIneffective against mature criminals.'
âLogi-Gal, I've never been happier that you're in our Team,' I say.
We turn a corner and I get hit in the chest by a lemon. I see the ear of an elephant head disappear around another corner.
âBoy, is that Elephant Head a sore loser,' I say.
âAt least Mum is happy about all the lemons I keep bringing home,' Cannonball says. âShe's been making lemon tart, lemonade, preserved lemons . . .'
We keep up with our crime-beat, but we aren't feeling very Heroic today. Torch keeps sneaking uncertain glances at his tattoo. And apart from a dog stealing smelly sausages from a skip at the back of the butchers, there's not much crime to be thwarted.
Torch shoots a flame at the dog, but misses it, and instead cooks the sausages. The dog gratefully gulps down the unexpected hot meal. Torch looks even less pleased with the world.
âGee Two Gee,' he says.
âHuh?' says Cannonball.
âIt's L8. G2G for me,' Torch shrugs.
We all stare at him as though he's an alien.
âWhat language is that, Candle-Boy?' says Cannonball.
âGet with the lingo,' he sighs. âHonestly, you lot are so small town. Tune into
herohints.com
. Hang out at the Hero forums. The Heroes OS know how to speak.
Anyway, G2G.'
âGive to Gorillas?' Logi-Gal suggests.
âGreat to grow?' I try.
âGoal to goal?' Cannonball says.
âGuest to Game?' Of course it's The Gamer.
âGot To Go,' says Torch. âL8. Late. Jeez.'
âWhat's shorthand for Complete Tosser?' Cannon -ball asks.
Torch takes a step towards him. âI've just about had enough of you, Water Pistol.'
âOh yeah, Human Lighter?'
âPlay nice, Hero hopefuls!' We all jump in shock, but when I narrow my eyes, I can see Chameleon's outline, his Superpower blending him almost perfectly into the background which is poster of a woman smiling hugely, advertising a new dishwashing powder she's discovered.
âHey OKers, did you hear about Volt?'
âI knew it was you, Chameleon,' I say.
âWhich is why you involuntarily turned into a cloud when I first spoke,' he says and I can tell he's grinning, even if the model's beaming smile is disguising his actual face. âYou recovered from the Flying Tigers' humiliation yet?'
âYou got lucky on the night,' I say, hoping my blurriness covers my blushing. âWhat about Volt?'
âYou know who he is, right?' Chameleon asks.
Logi-Gal frowns and doesn't let us down. âCategory 5 Villain, famous for holding hostage the town of Yallourn â source of most of the Victoria's coal-based electricity production â with threats to surge the state's power. Sentenced to twelve years imprisonment in 1997, but escaped during the blackout of the big storms of 2003.'
âYes' says Chameleon, now merged into the brick wall of the Commonwealth Bank. âHe surfaced yesterday, trying to plug into the power grid, to boost his electricity reserves and therefore increase his ability to zap Heroes. Golden Boy tracked him and they went toe to toe. But far from being a Category 5, Volt was souped to the max on S.T.O.M.P. and mainlining the state's power. The second he and Golden Boy connected, it blew nine generators, blacked out more than 50 per cent of the state and formed a crater so deep it's probably going to be a tourist attraction to rival the Grand Canyon.'
âHow's Golden Boy?' I ask, my heart thumping.
Chameleon pauses. âHe suffered an injury to his arm â a graze that almost broke the skin. Unusual for him to be so wounded.'
âThat sounds much more powerful than Category 5,' says The Gamer. âAren't they supposed to be mid-powered Villains?'
âExactly,' says Chameleon. âThis S.T.O.M.P. is dangerous. For everybody. Gotham says it's a synthetic compound that boosts energy and muscle-mass, artificially enhancing Hero or Super-Villain powers . It also enables fast physical recovery and the production of more red blood cells, giving the heart extra oxygen and therefore greater aerobic capacity.'
âHuh?' says Cannonball.
The Gamer swipes some gold coins that appear when he kicks a patch of grass.
Bling. Bling. Blorrrrp.
âIt makes you bigger and stronger and less tired,' he translates.
âExactly,' agrees Chameleon.
âWhy S.T.O.M.P.?' Logi-Gal asks.
âSerum That Overly Magnifies Powers,' Chameleon says. âIt's powerful stuff. Very powerful, and potentially dangerous. Nobody knows what its side effects are. But we're definitely seeing increased S.T.O.M.P. effects in battle. It's a worry.'
We all ponder this.
âI wonder if that's why the Bushranger was so good?' says Logi-Gal.
âAnd what about Blink?' I say, although I haven't wanted to talk about it since the fight. âHow is he so good at appearing and disappearing?'
âWhat's wrong, Focus?' Torch is smirking. âThis town not big enough for two invisible boys?'
âI'm just saying he was very good at it. For a Category 2 Villain.'
âWe'll just have to him 'em harder,' says Cannonball.
âYeah, exactly,' The Gamer agrees. âThey can juice up with this stuff all they like, but we've got real muscles. Well, actually, I've got W.O.W. Hand of A'dal-level body armour, but you know . . . same thing.'