The One Awakened: Book 1 in The One Trilogy (14 page)

He is silent.
 

We lie in bed, back to back.
 

The air is thick with emotions, unsaid feelings and unfinished business.

I get no sleep, as I procrastinate over the last few hours’ events and chastise myself over and over again, for potentially ruining the best friendship I’ve ever had with a man, with my bloody horniness!
 

I quietly turn to sneak a glance at him, whilst he sleeps, careful not to disturb anything that might wake him. I sigh. I’m dreading seeing him this morning.
 

Oh my God!
How did things go so wrong?
 

This is why you don’t mix sex with friendship. Someone always got hurt. My bloody gut needs to shout its instinct, much louder in future. I’d forgotten about my war wounds, probably because he’d sprung things on me and I’d been relaxed by champagne; no man had seen it since Niall and he had hated it with a passion and made me very aware of that fact. A constant reminder of Finn’s arrival and my body changing, he’d never
gone down on me
again -
“It’s repulsive”
- had been his words and I had to agree. The scar angrily worked its way across my body in a zig-zag fashion, from hip to hip, red and angry and a total mess.
 

Finn’s birth had been traumatic to say the least, 36 hours of labour, barely 4cm dilation and his heartbeat had slowed, resulting in an emergency section, where the only available surgeon at midnight had been a 4ft 11 junior, who needed to stand on a box to perform the cut. It had been barbaric.
 

My
not so
little boy had been far too large for my petite frame, causing huge internal bleeding, a cracked rib and many necessary blood transfusions, just to get him out - weighing a healthy 9lbs at only 36 weeks old. Heaven knows what he’d have weighed had he gone full-term or worse over - perhaps I would have delivered a fully grown man - I’d certainly felt like that was the case at the time.

Many had thought Niall’s coldness after Finn’s birth was a direct result of post-traumatic stress but he denied it and in the end I gave up trying. I’d nearly died giving birth to his son, our son - the most beautiful baby boy and my joy, and now I was to be punished.
 

To me my scar is evidence that I had worked hard to bring Finn into the world but I am also aware that it is brutal looking and now my fears and hang-ups, may have fucked up my chances at continuing to moving forward. Learn from your mistakes Lu - I can hear my parent’s voices in my head - they were right. This wasn’t going to define me. It was a hurdle I had to get over and Niall wasn’t my lover anymore. Niall didn’t own me anymore. It was his hang-up, inflicted upon me and he would never have the privilege of having sex with me again.

Now Seb on the other hand…

I wander into the kitchen and flick the red metallic Dualit kettle on. I’d managed three hours sleep and I seriously ache like I have done ten rounds with Tyson. Sebastian is still in bed and I can’t hear anything overhead so he must be out like a light.
 

Oh my word – what the hell was last night all about?
 

I actually feel physically sick. I sense that we’ve stepped into some kind of alternate world, and that he will walk in any moment and act as though nothing had ever happened and it was my seedy little mind working into overload. I’m dragged from my thoughts when I hear a rustle behind me.
 

“Morning Lulu.” He cheekily slaps me on my jean-clad bum. “Ahh Cup-of-Tea.”
He grabs the cup and snatches a triangle of my toast and marmite. Screwing his face up when he starts to chew. Then slowly he starts to shake his head from side to side, weighing it up and jutting out his bottom lip, a la De Niro he mumbles, “Not bad. Always thought I’d be a hater.”

I do nothing but stare at him, frozen to the spot.
What the fuck?
Why was he acting like nothing had happened? I
am
in that dreaded alternate world.

“Any chance of a lift home Lu? God what did we drink last night? I’m not sure I’ll be hitting the gym today.” He rubs his forehead, wincing at the slightest touch.

“Champagne. Beer. Wine. Oh and those slippery nipple shots that Jess made us all do.” I instantly regret mentioning the word nipple, as my obvious blush prickles up over my face and across my scalp. He either doesn’t notice how uncomfortable I am or decides to ignore it and continues.

“Oh God yeah. Good night though - your mate Meg’s fun. Oh I borrowed your spare toothbrush. Hope you’re OK with that?” he frowns at me inquisitively, lifting my favourite red and white striped mug to his mouth -
my
cup of tea.
 

“Urgghh!” he sputters after a big gulp, handing me back the mug. “I forgot you have sugar in yours.” His face wrinkles in disgust. It served him right.

“Maybe you should get your own, next time,” I mutter, going to the sink to pour the offending tea away.
Is he kidding me? What an arse-hole. I can’t believe he even mentioned Meg. Well two can play at that game. “Chris seems nice too? I’ll need to get to know him better, now that he’s staying at yours.”
 

One look at Seb’s face and I know that I’ve touched a nerve, and its had the reaction I’d hoped it would, even if he isn’t sure of it yet and its warms me smugly. If he were jealous about that then he wouldn’t want Chris to be my first since Niall - or Leo; or worse yet, Niall again.
He doesn’t need to know it probably wouldn’t be any of them. Chris and Niall, not a chance. Leo highly unlikely, but the jury’s still out.

I can’t be around him any longer though, not with this stagnant uncomfortable banter and I need to get out of his vicinity right now, before I jump him - no sex for nearly a year and lets face it nearly a decade of crap sex, meant that a quick fumble without release, with someone who knows what they’re doing is like putting new batteries in the vibby and sticking it on full-blast - responsive much?
 

Grabbing my car keys and not waiting for a reaction from him I huff rudely. “Right, come on then, as I’ve got to pick up Finn. I haven’t got all day.”
 

I don’t wait to see if he is following, I know he is. I can feel his sheer presence at my back; it’s palpable. Everything is totally fucked up. As I lock the front door and we climb into the car together, I realise that he doesn’t appear to remember anything that happened between us last night, and I’m not sure whether what I am feeling is huge relief or massive disappointment.

The drive to his house is shall we say, difficult. We both remain resolutely silent. I concentrate on the winding road ahead and he seems to have found the view out the passenger window, particularly interesting all of a sudden. Luckily he only lives ten minutes away from mine but those ten minutes feel like a lifetime though enable me the quiet time I need to put my plan in action.
 

I’ve barely pulled to a stop outside his house when he unclips his seatbelt, jumps out the car, slamming the door in his desperation to exit. It’s been a while since I’d been to his new home and hunching down I look out of the passenger window up at the imposing structure. It’s huge glass windows wink at us, like watchful eyes, hooded by the immense dormers that house them. The finished article was a masterpiece - a real piece of architectural design.

As I watch him fumbling with his keys outside the car, I grab my phone and hurriedly locate his contact info, to create a new message.
 

It was now or never.
 

Last night had been a total disaster but it hadn’t been planned and what it had shown me, was…

A) He was interested in me sexually!

B) We were compatible, boy were we compatible!

C) I had issues about my body that I just needed to get over, with someone I trusted.

I’m bloody sure he could manage one night of passion with an old friend. He was willing to tumble almost anything in a skirt, surely he could help a girl out in need and be my fuck buddy?

I type the words I’d been forming in my head all morning. The letters blur in front of me in my hurried fumbles. I’m keen to send the text quickly and see that he actually receives it. A quick glance up to see his whereabouts, tells me that Sebastian must have pressed a button on his keys, as the huge gates lurch into motion and they seamlessly open inwards into the curved driveway. He strolls through them and they begin to close. Quickly running my eyes over my typed message, and licking my lips in both determination and apprehension I hit send, before I can back out.
 

I have a proposition for you.
 

Consider this - one night of sex between friends.
 

No ties, no commitment. I’m open to anything.
 
I need to get back in the saddle and I trust you in every way.
 

Think about it.