The One Real Thing (Hart's Boardwalk) (19 page)

I bristled. “No, I won’t . . . because I’m not going back to Wilmington. I’m staying here.”

Relief moved through me as soon as I said the words out loud.

“Are you insane?” he snapped, striding toward me. “Seriously?”

“I’m not happy, Andrew. I haven’t been happy . . . well, I can’t remember the last time I was happy,” I admitted sadly.

He scoffed at that. “And you think you’ll be happy here? You’ve been here all of five minutes.”

“I know. And maybe I won’t be happy here, either, but I know for damn sure that I am not happy working in that prison—”

“I’ve been telling you that for two years!”

I ignored his interruption. “I’m not happy in my empty apartment and I’m not happy with a fuck buddy anymore.”

“Which is exactly why I’m changing our situation to a relationship,” he insisted, taking hold of my upper arms.

He gave me a coaxing smile.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“No?”

How could I do this without being mean? “Um . . .” I didn’t think there was really a way to be not a little mean unless it meant being dishonest, and really at this point I didn’t think anything else but honesty would convince him. “I don’t want to be in a relationship . . . with
you
.”

“But you just said—”

“I said I’ve come to want more than to be someone’s casual sex partner. But that doesn’t mean that I want more with
you
.”

He let this sink in and then his eyes narrowed. “That Neanderthal bartender you were making moon eyes at this afternoon? You want
him
over
me
?”

Hot anger fired my blood. “He
owns
the bar.”

“Oh, well, that makes it so much better.”

Arrogant asshole!

“It’s not even about him,” I said and that was the truth. “It’s about me. I like it here.”

“With the shirtless bartender?” He guffawed.

“Ugh, you actually think you’re better than him.”

“I
know
I’m better than him.”

“You know what, Andrew, here’s the truth. I liked having
sex
with you, but I have never liked
you
. I respected you because you’re a great surgeon and you save lives and I found that hot. But that’s all it was. Because as wonderful as it is that you do all that . . . you are quite possibly the most selfish, inconsiderate, arrogant asshole I have ever met.”

His lips parted in shock at my brutal honesty.

And somehow I still couldn’t shut up! “Cooper is not selfish. Not arrogant. He’s just a good man. And you are so far up your own superior ass that you can’t see what’s important anymore.”

“You know all this about a man you’ve known two seconds?” He completely ignored the part about him, not wanting to hear it and so pretending he hadn’t.

“I know this because of the way the people here are around him. They all respect him. They genuinely care about him. That says more about him than anything else does.”

Andrew shook his head and heaved a sigh. “Oh, Jessica . . .” He stared out at the water. “I’m going to forgive everything you just said because”—he turned back to me—“I’m worried about you. I think you’re going through something. That’s alright. But when you get out of whatever midlife crisis this is, you will realize that you’ve just thrown away me and your career. You might get your career back. But I won’t be waiting.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at his pomposity.

“I don’t want you to wait, Andrew.”

His expression turned cold as he studied me for what felt like forever. Finally he gave me a clipped nod. “Good luck, Jessica.”

I watched him walk away, disappearing out of sight, and felt nothing but relief. I took a few minutes in the fresh night air to gather myself to go back into the bar.

I didn’t know what my sudden decision to stay meant for me and Cooper or if there was even a chance for me and Cooper. Somehow he had the power to make me want to give up the autonomy I’d enjoyed for so long, and that scared the shit out of me. Because I was terrified that somewhere down the line he’d find out something about me he didn’t like and I’d lose him.

But I realized right then that I was equally afraid that he wouldn’t even want to give me a second chance to explore what was between us. I knew if I walked back into that bar and he turned away from me, I would regret my actions from the other night for the rest of my life.

Because what Cooper had said to me that night was true. I’d never felt anything like this before.

Gathering my courage, I strode back inside and headed straight for where he stood at the bar. He was pouring a draft and he looked up from between his lashes as I came to a stop across from him.

Quickly he looked back down at what he was doing, but his tone gave him away when he asked, “Where’s the surgeon?”

I perched on the stool and leaned over a little closer to say, “I told him to leave. I also told him it was over between him and me.”

He stopped what he was doing and put the draft on the bar without looking at me.

“I also told him I wasn’t leaving Hartwell anytime soon.”

His head jerked up at that and he stared at me in surprise.

“You were right.” I shrugged. “I wasn’t happy.”

Cooper just continued to stare.

Uncertainty moved through me. “Do you think I’m crazy? Was it a bad call?”

His answer was to wrap his hand around the nape of my neck and pull me across the bar into his kiss.

It wasn’t any ordinary kiss.

It was hot and hungry.

I immediately melted into it, just like I had the night before.

I’d never met a man whose kiss could make me burn for so much more.

Whoops and catcalls suddenly met my ears and Cooper pulled back just enough to murmur against my mouth, “Good call, Doc.”

The energy in the bar went up a level after he impulsively kissed her in front of everyone. The tourists had no idea what was going on, but his regulars did. Even if they didn’t know the doc too well, they knew him. He wasn’t one for kissing random women in public.

They understood there was something different about Jessica, and because his regulars were good people he knew they were happy for him.

So the mood was light, it was fun, and it was helped along by Bailey, Jess, and Tom having a riot at the bar with Old Archie as they celebrated Jess’s decision to stay in Hartwell.

“Ooh, I just had a thought!” Bailey clapped her hands together excitedly. “You’ll be here for the pumpkin festival—we have a mini punkin-chunkin’ world championship, and—”

“Wait.” Jess held up her hand, grinning. “What on earth is punkin chunkin’?”

“You’ve lived in Delaware how long and you’ve never heard of a punkin chunkin’?”

Cooper chuckled at Bailey’s shock and explained for Jessica’s sake, “It’s a sport where people see how far they can hurl pumpkins. They can use all kinds of devices to do it. There is actually a world championship.”

“Huh.” Jess nodded. “Can’t wait to see that.”

“Oh, there’s more than that,” Bailey continued excitedly. “We
have a chicken festival, too, to celebrate our majestic state bird—the blue hen.”

“And what exactly is involved in a chicken festival?” The doc looked genuinely interested and excited by the prospect of a chicken festival.

He guessed she was just excited about being part of something.

Cooper wanted to kiss her.

“It’s really just an excuse for us to take over Main Street at the beginning of October,” Tom said. “Locals enter a competition to see who comes up with the best chicken dish. We get a band for the bandstand. We sell crafts and homemade baked goods.”

“It sounds fun,” Jess said wistfully.

Bailey threw her arm around her and gave her a squeeze. “It is fun. You know what else is fun? The gay pride parade at the end of the summer.”

“I thought gay pride parades usually hit the bigger cities.”

“They do. This is little in comparison, but Hartwell is very popular with the LGBT community and Kell Summers and his partner, Jake, organized the parade about eight years ago and it’s gotten more popular every year. It’s a blast. I’m so excited you’ll be here for it!”

“Me, too. You guys certainly have a lot going on here.”

“Don’t forget the music festival,” Tom added.

“Oh yes! Next month. We get bands from all over. Kell Summers is actually a councilman and he’s head of a whole bunch of organizations so he’s, like, the official event planner for the town. Ooh, and you should probably know that our mayor is Jaclyn Rose—she’s a friend of my mom’s. Very cool lady. And our vice mayor is Paul Duggan, the doctor I mentioned. And, ugh, Ian Devlin is a councilman—”

“Bailey, give the doc a chance to take it all in,” Cooper said, amused. “She’s got more than a night to get to grips with town politics.”

“Right.” Bailey laughed. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’m sure I’ll remember none of it in the morning,” Jess cracked.

“Speaking of.” Tom glanced at his watch. “I need to head back, babe.”

Bailey took hold of his wrist and squinted at the time. “Ah, hell.” She turned from him and threw her arms around Jess. “Gotta go, but so glad you’re staying.”

Jess squeezed her and then pulled back. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

“Yay,” Bailey said softly.

They said good night and Tom led Bailey out of the quieting bar. She kept waving the whole time, making Jess giggle in an adorable way that held Cooper transfixed. There were so many layers to this woman and he’d only spent just a little time with her. He couldn’t wait to learn everything about her. She was complicated, but complicated in a way that was exciting.

“I should really go, too,” Jess said, turning back to him. “I’m so wired, though.”

He glanced over as the last of his regulars called out good night as they left the bar. There were only a couple of tourists and Old Archie still sitting there. It was final call in five minutes. He looked at Jess and found she was watching him in an intense way he liked a lot. “Stay after closing.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“No funny business.” He grinned, reading her mind. “I’ll make you a decaf coffee and you can talk it out.”

Because, as much fun as she’d had with Bailey and Tom, they hadn’t really discussed why she’d made the decision to stay and what she was going to do here. This was a huge move for her. Some people, maybe most, might say it was quite impulsive after so short a time here. It couldn’t have been an easy decision and Cooper wanted to make sure her head was in the right place.

Twenty minutes later the bar was closed, and he’d sent Lily and Riley home early.

He locked up and made decaf coffee for himself and Jess and led her over to a booth at the back of the bar.

They sipped at their coffee in silence for a moment and then he finally said, “So . . . what happened today?”

She heaved a huge sigh and relaxed back into her seat. “Today was a culmination of a lot of things. For a start, you were right about me not being happy. I . . . I convinced myself that I was content with the situation I’d carved out for myself back in Wilmington. It was easy to convince myself while I was there because I didn’t really know what I was missing out on. I’ve spent so much of my life wrapped up in the world of medicine that I didn’t have time to notice.

“And then I get here and the pace is so different . . . you guys love your jobs and you work hard . . . but it feels slower and more laid-back here.”

“It is,” Cooper said.

“Good.” She gave a shaky smile. “I’m glad I’m not wrong about that because it’s a huge part of the appeal of living here . . .” She looked down into the coffee in her hand. “I can’t even explain it, Cooper, I just feel . . . I feel connected to things here. I’ve never felt connected to anywhere before.”

“And that’s why you’re staying?” He wanted her to say yes; because the truth was, as good as he felt about her staying, Cooper had been worried all night that she’d made this huge decision based on him. He liked the doc too much for her to throw away what she’d already built for the possibility of what was between them. He would have been happy to try a relationship with a commute while they were still testing this thing out.

“Yes,” she said, and he felt the relief sweep through him. “This
is all about what I want. Don’t get me wrong—the people here are obviously a factor. Everyone is warm and friendly and accepting . . . Well . . .” She laughed. “Of me. Not everyone, I guess.”

“You thinking of Vaughn?”

“Andrew actually. But I guess Vaughn, too.”

“That was because of the hotel. The council approved planning before Jaclyn became mayor. She became mayor in the middle of the hotel’s construction and with the help of Bailey, who was especially pissed off by Vaughn’s arrival, tried to put a stop to it. Legally they couldn’t do anything, but their public disapproval of his hotel has left some negativity around him. He’s not a bad guy, though, as far as I can see.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Anyway, you were saying . . .”

“Oh. Right. I was saying that I’ve never connected with strangers the way I’ve connected with the people here. Bailey, Emery . . . you. I already had this all going on in my head and then suddenly Andrew turned up.”

Cooper scowled. The moment he’d met him at the bandstand Cooper could practically smell the arrogance on him. When he’d put his arm around the doc, Cooper had wanted to punch something. He’d also wondered how the hell she could see something in him when this surgeon guy was the kind of man she was used to dating.

In fact, that still bothered him a little.

“I didn’t invite him,” she said. “I was shocked when Bailey told me he was here. He and I . . .” She shook her head, looking annoyed. “We were never in a relationship and I won’t go into it—”

“I’d appreciate that.”

She smirked. “All I will tell you is that I respected him and even admired him professionally. He’s a great surgeon. But—and this sounds awful—I have never actually
liked
him very much.”

It didn’t sound awful. It filled him with a sense of relief, in fact. “So why have anything to do with him?”

Jess shifted uncomfortably. “I didn’t want a relationship with anyone . . . at least I didn’t think so. But I’m still a woman.”

As relieved as he felt that she wasn’t the kind of woman who’d fall for a guy like that arrogant prick, Cooper also wasn’t particularly happy talking about her getting her needs met by the asshole, either.

“Gotcha,” he bit out.

“Anyway, when he showed up here suddenly announcing that he missed me and how we were too old to mess around and we needed to start getting serious about one another . . . I was stunned.” She scrunched up her nose in irritation. “Typical Andrew, making decisions for the both of us. It got me really thinking about what I wanted and I called an old friend for advice. That, plus Andrew’s behavior in here tonight, made me realize what I didn’t want. And what I didn’t want was him—and the really scary part . . .” She looked up at Cooper with big round eyes, dark with true uncertainty that made him want to reach over and comfort her. “I don’t know if I want to be a doctor anymore.”

Surprise stopped him from reaching for her like he’d intended.

He didn’t know what to say at that point.

Her profession . . . well . . . Cooper saw that as being a part of who she was. He knew that was strange since he’d never actually seen her practice medicine, but he still sensed that her calling to heal was a big part of her character.

“I’m not sure I’m following.”

“I’m not sure I am, either.” She gave a huff of sad laughter. “It’s just that . . . there is a possibility I went into this career for the wrong reasons.”

“What wrong reasons?”

Jess looked down. “I can’t fully explain it. Just . . . maybe I was trying to make up for something, and maybe that isn’t a good enough reason to be a doctor.”

The silence fell between them.

He didn’t want her to hide anything from him because, hell, he
felt like he could tell her anything. But it was still new between them and there were certain things about him that he would wait to tell her. That went both ways.

He didn’t need to know what the doc wasn’t telling him. Not yet.

He remembered something she had told him, though. “What about what you told me? About making your mark?”

Cooper’s reminder of their conversation pulled Jess’s gaze back to his. “I don’t know. I don’t know if that’s all mixed up with something else.” She sighed. “I know I’m not explaining myself very well.”

They were quiet awhile as they drank their coffee. Cooper thought over her dilemma. It concerned him. Clearly, Jessica was in a mixed-up place in her life—she wasn’t the wholly self-assured woman he’d thought she was when she first walked into his bar. He’d been attracted to that aspect of her personality. But knowing differently didn’t make him any less attracted to her. It made her less than perfect, it made her more real, someone who might need him after all, and to his surprise, Cooper liked that. He liked that a fuck of a lot. He wanted to help her find what it was she was looking for.

He had to hope he didn’t get trampled in the search.

For now, he focused on making her feel better, because lots of people reached their thirties and realized they weren’t happy with their career or their life in general. She wasn’t the first.

“You know what, Doc, your degree isn’t going anywhere. No matter what, you’re a doctor. So why not take some time out from it and try to find if there’s something else out there for you? If you decide you want to go back to being a doctor, then I’m sure that won’t be a problem.”

Jess smiled brightly at him, relief visible in that pretty smile. “You really think so?”

“Yeah. Nothing is set in stone, right?”

“Right.”

He watched her whole body seem to melt as the pent-up tension left her. She was studying his face in that intense way again, like she was memorizing him.

“What?” he murmured, his blood turning more than a little hot as he thought about memorizing her all over in return.

“Tell me about your family,” she suddenly said.

Cooper stared into her big hazel eyes and saw longing in them. It wasn’t the kind of longing he’d been feeling a second before and he was suddenly really curious to know about
her
family. If that meant talking about his, then that was an easy way to get the info he wanted out of her. He realized he wanted to tell her about them anyway. Maybe it was stupid of him to trust a woman so soon after one had betrayed him, but Cooper didn’t ever want to get twisted and bitter over his ex’s behavior. He certainly didn’t want to mistake a good woman for another Dana Kellerman.

“My dad left when I was twelve” he said.

Sympathy brightened her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to be. The guy was an asshole. An abusive asshole.”

Jessica flinched. “Then I’m even more sorry.”

“I bet you’ve seen a lot of that in your line of work.”