The One You Trust (21 page)

Edward recovered quickly, checking to see if any passers-by had noticed what had just happened, looking embarrassed by his lapse. ‘Thanks, Will. It means so much to me that you’re here. I don’t want you to think that this means I’ll forget about you and Emma, because I won’t.’

‘Don’t worry, Dad, we’ve never thought that. We just want you to be happy.’

‘I don’t deserve you two,’ Edward said. And then he smiled, wistfully. ‘I’ve never told you this, Will, but you really remind me of your mum. Your expressions, your mannerisms, they remind me of her so much. And I still miss her deeply.’ A single tear trickled down his cheek, which he stopped with his thumb.

Will nodded. ‘I miss her too. But she’d want you to be happy, and to move on. She would hate to think that, years later, you’re still racked with guilt about anything you did or didn’t do.’

‘I know she would. Your mum always wanted the best for us.’

‘Exactly. So, you’ve got to move on. Seize the wonderful opportunity that you’ve got.’

His father sighed deeply. He was obviously still shaken by his outburst. ‘I just don’t think I deserve it. I messed up with you and Emma, I was a terrible father. And now I’ve been given another chance. Why?’

Will shrugged. ‘I don’t think life works like that. For too long I’ve tried to work out explanations for why things happen – was it because I did this or said that . . . ? As if life is so logical! But I’ve realised that life
isn’t
logical. It’s chaotic, filled with chance happenings and events. Some of them are bad, some are good. Mum was a wonderful person. She didn’t do anything to deserve to die of cancer, and there’s no point thinking about why it happened. It just did. The important thing is how you deal with the good and bad things. You can’t spend your life looking back, because then you affect the present, and that is the one thing you do have more control over.’

‘I always knew you were a thinker, Will.’

‘That’s half my problem, generally.’ Will gave a dry laugh. ‘But in terms of the here and now, you’ve got to focus on what matters most – Miranda and Jack. And Emma and I will be here to help.’

Edward smiled. ‘Thank you. You don’t know how much it means to me, to hear you say that. I really want you and Emma to be part of our lives. I would hate it if you thought that Miranda was trying to take your mother’s place, because it’s not like that at all.’

‘We know. We’ve known that for a long time. I know we had reservations, about the age gap and the timing after Mum. But we both think Miranda is great, and she’s really good for you. So you’ve got nothing to worry about, honestly. We’re right behind you.’

‘I was worried that the baby would cause problems,’ Edward said, with the look of someone having a deep secret wrenched from them. ‘I was really worried about how you would feel. I thought it might push us away from one another.’

‘Don’t be silly. Emma and I love babies!’

‘I’m stupid, aren’t I?’ Edward said. ‘I shouldn’t have underestimated you two. I should have given you more credit from the beginning.’

‘As I said, there’s no point looking back. Just do the right thing now.’

Edward nodded.

‘I tried to call Emma,’ Will said. ‘I can’t get hold of her.’

Edward seemed to be thinking. ‘Oh, right . . .’

Just then a nurse approached. ‘Mr Holden? Your wife was wondering if your son would like to come in and see the baby.’

‘Yes, I’d love to,’ Will said.

They followed the nurse into a small ward, partitioned into four by light blue curtains. Miranda was in a bed at the far left-hand corner, with baby Jack next to her in a plastic crib on wheels. He was asleep, wrapped in sheets.

Will could see dark hair peeking from underneath a tea-cosy-style hat that baby was wearing. ‘He’s absolutely beautiful.’

Miranda smiled. ‘He is, isn’t he?’

Will edged towards the crib.

Miranda noted his nervousness. ‘It’s okay, you can touch him. The doctors have done all their checks, and he’s absolutely fine. He’s a bit smaller than normal, but that’s just because he decided to put in an early appearance.’

‘He’s amazing,’ Will said, moving his finger slowly over Jack’s skin. ‘He’s just so soft and perfect.’

‘You can hold him when he wakes up,’ she said.

Will looked hesitant.

‘Holding him, it’s just amazing,’ Edward said.

Miranda smiled. ‘He’ll want to meet Uncle Will.’

Will grinned. ‘Uncle Will, I like that.’ It sounded more appropriate than half-brother. Then he collected himself – he was so caught up in the moment, he hadn’t asked Miranda how she was. ‘I totally forgot to ask. How are you?’

‘I’m fine,’ she replied. ‘A bit sore, but otherwise I feel good. Still a bit shocked by how quickly all this has happened.’

Will reached out again to Jack. His appeal was magnetic. ‘Yeah, I bet.’

‘Your dad was great, though,’ Miranda added, reaching out to hold Edward’s hand. ‘He was so calm, and just kept talking to me, so I didn’t really think about everything else that was happening.’

Edward grinned, then grimaced slightly. ‘I wasn’t present for you or your sister, Will,’ he said. ‘Back in those days, it wasn’t as common for the father to be there in the room. And I’ve got to admit, I didn’t really fancy it. But I regretted it afterwards. So I wanted to do the right thing this time.’

‘I’m proud of you, Dad,’ Will said.

Edward seemed to really appreciate that. ‘Thanks.’

‘Does Emma know what’s happened?’ Miranda asked. ‘It would be great for her to be here and see Jack – have all the family together.’

‘I couldn’t get through,’ Will said. He looked across at Edward. ‘I’ll give her a quick call now, and let her know the good news.’

Edward nodded, suddenly looking serious again.

Will headed back to the corridor and called Emma’s landline first. Once again, it just rang and rang. When he tried her mobile, it didn’t even ring at all, instead just diverting straight through to the message service. He decided to leave an unworried message, as if by doing so it would increase the likelihood that everything was all right. ‘Em, it’s Will. I’ve got some really great news. Dad and Miranda have had their baby. It’s a boy and they’ve called him Jack, after Granddad. Everything is fine. We’re at St Thomas’ Hospital. Give me a call as soon as you get this.’

He waited for a few seconds after he had ended the call, in the hope that she would ring back immediately. But when there was no response, he called Lizzy. This time, she answered. ‘Lizzy, it’s Will. Are you with Em?’

Lizzy’s response sent him reeling.

Chapter 30

Lizzy decided it would be quicker to walk, so she set off at a pace through the drenched London streets. The sky was a dark, lowering grey, and there was no sign of the rain abating. She didn’t have an umbrella with her and while her winter coat was warm, it was not waterproof, but she kept going, ignoring how soaked she was. Her hair was sticking to her forehead, and water tickled her nose as it dripped off the end.

Lizzy made her way through the back streets of Soho, to the junction of Oxford Street. Buses coasted past, splashing oily rainwater up from the road’s edge. She managed to avoid catching any of the large waves. Crossing Oxford Street, she continued northwards, towards Emma and Dan’s flat.

Please let everything be all right.

Lizzy pulled out her phone again, in case she had missed a call. She hadn’t. But, just as she was about to slide it back into her coat pocket, a call came through.

Her hopes were dashed when she saw from the caller ID that it was Will.

‘Lizzy, it’s Will. Are you with Em?’

‘No,’ she replied, narrowly avoiding a deep puddle by the side of the road. ‘I had to go to a meeting at work. She stayed at the flat. I’m just on my way back there now.’

‘I’ve been trying to get in touch with her,’ Will continued, ‘but I can’t get any answer, either from their home phone or her mobile. Have you spoken to her recently?’

Lizzy hadn’t wanted to involve Will yet, as she didn’t want to worry him unnecessarily. But now she had no choice. ‘I can’t reach her, either. That’s why I’m going there now.’

‘You don’t think—?’

‘I’m sure it’s okay, Will,’ Lizzy cut in quickly. ‘There’s probably a good explanation as to why she’s not answering.’

‘I don’t like this. It just seems so reminiscent of . . . what happened last time, with Dan.’

‘I know, I know. But we shouldn’t assume the worst. I’ll call you as soon as I get there. It should only be ten minutes or so.’

‘Okay,’ he said. ‘But I might not be able to answer straight away. I’m at the hospital.’

‘Hospital, why?’

‘Miranda’s had her baby. A boy, called Jack.’

Lizzy stopped at a busy junction, waiting to cross. ‘That’s amazing. Are they all okay?’

‘Yes, they’re fine. I’m with them. I just popped out to call you.’

Lizzy went for a gap between two taxis. There wasn’t much space, but she was quick enough to make it. ‘Don’t say anything to them, Will. They shouldn’t be worrying at such a special time.’

‘My dad already knows I can’t get in contact, so I’ll have to update him. But we won’t tell Miranda. I agree – it wouldn’t be fair.’

Lizzy ended the call with another promise to phone as soon as she knew anything.

As she closed in on the apartment block her nerves grew, and by the time she reached the front entrance her heart was going like a jackhammer. She stood at the base of the steps, looking up to Emma’s window. Will had been right: it was too reminiscent of all those weeks ago, the night of the hen party, when they had arrived in the taxi, hoping to find Dan safe. Instead, they had discovered Richard, beaten to within an inch of his life, Dan gone, and the nightmare had begun. It seemed such a long time ago, but it really wasn’t.

Lizzy closed her eyes, and mouthed a silent prayer for her friend. Then she keyed in the security code, pulled open the door and stepped into the hallway.

Emma’s neighbour, Mr Henderson, was inching his way down the stairs, his hands gripping the banisters tightly and his eyes focused on the floor. He looked so fragile.

Despite her concern for Emma, Lizzy knew she couldn’t just ignore him. ‘Can I help you?’ she asked, moving towards him.

She couldn’t help but think of the parallels with last time, when Mr Henderson had intercepted them on the way up to the flat.

He looked up, evidently surprised to see her. ‘Oh, it’s okay, dear, I can manage.’ He conquered the last two steps and, looking relieved, made to go past her.

‘Mr Henderson, have you seen Emma?’

He turned around slowly. ‘No, but I heard her, moving around upstairs.’

Lizzy had never felt so relieved. She climbed the staircase with renewed optimism, convincing herself that everything was indeed all right. It wasn’t until she reached the top that the dread returned.

The door to the flat was ajar.

Lizzy froze. ‘Please, no,’ she whispered. ‘Please, not again.’

She considered turning around and calling for help, but then she heard a noise coming from inside the flat. It sounded like a door opening. ‘Em? Is that you?’ She moved towards the outer door. ‘Em?’ Her voice was still no more than a whisper.

She pushed open the door as quietly as possible and poked her head around the doorframe. She was sweating as she inched along the passageway towards the kitchen. The door there was half open, and she could see the light on. ‘Emma?’ There was no response, but she heard a noise from inside the room. A clatter.

Lizzy didn’t like this at all, but it felt too late to turn around. Gathering her courage, she reached out to the door and it swung open.

A black shape bounded towards her.

Lizzy shrunk back. ‘No, no, NO!’

The shape skirted past her and sprinted for the open door.

It was a cat. She recognised it. It was often hanging around outside the apartment building.
It must have somehow got in the building and then come in through the open door.
It disappeared down the stairs.

Lizzy put a hand to her head, and looked back at the kitchen. Blowing out a sigh of relief, she began to half laugh to herself.

And then another noise came from behind her. She swung around, and caught her breath.

A man was standing in the doorway to the flat.

‘It’s okay,’ he said, holding up his hands. ‘It’s DI Gasnier.’

Lizzy put a hand up to her mouth. ‘You frightened me to death. I thought you were . . .’

‘I’m really sorry,’ he said, seeming uncomfortable at the idea of coming any closer and risking putting Lizzy more on edge. ‘I saw the open door, and heard your shouts. I really didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that.’

‘It’s okay, really.’

He seemed to relax. ‘I came to speak to Emma. Is she around?’

‘We’ve been trying to ring her. I came here looking for her.’ Then the realisation dawned. ‘My God, something’s happened to her. He must have her, he must have taken her!’ She covered her mouth with her hands, staring desperately at Gasnier.