The Only One for Her (13 page)

Chapter 27: Trace

I’d somehow managed to have most of my interactions with Angelina take place via text. Talking to her had been beyond uncomfortable and I had insisted she take some time off from work to take care of herself. At least that’s what she thought the reason was. I just couldn’t deal with her and her manipulation. So, I painted a picture of how Derrick would want her to rest and have some time to grieve. Making it about honoring Derrick worked. She couldn’t argue with a dead man’s wishes. Or perhaps she wouldn’t dare.

Between Derrick’s parents and me, we had everything scheduled for the memorial. The wake afterward would take place at their home. I just hoped a brawl wouldn’t break out between Olivia and Angelina. The tox screen came back negative for any kind of drugs in Derrick’s system, but his mom was convinced regardless that Angelina had something to do with his accident. I was as well, but I didn’t share my suspicions with anyone. The background check came back squeaky clean also. So much for finding a legal way to remove her from my life. Maybe I could buy her out of my company. Hopefully, what she really wanted was money.

Looking in the mirror, I fumbled with my tie. Shaking hands didn’t help the situation. I hated that today was the day I’d be laying my best friend to rest. But what was even worse was the fact that he’d died knowing we weren’t friends anymore. What he had done was pretty despicable, but if I had known he was going to die I never would have told him we weren’t friends. I probably would have just said I needed space. But, I can’t take it back. None of it could be undone…their affair, my reaction, him making the fatal mistake of marrying her. All of it kept reminding me that life was fragile and short, which led me to think of my beautiful Lindy. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her, but I had stopped contacting her. Clearly, she didn’t want to hear what I had to say. Shit. But, I couldn’t blame her. I had withheld information from her. Information she obviously thought was very important. I had gambled and lost. I could have told her the truth the very first night, but I figured I was being smart. Not so smart after all.

The ringing of my doorbell brought me out of my funk. “It’s open,” I yelled, hoping my parents and sisters would hear me.

“Are you ready? We don’t want to be late,” Kristie called out.

“Almost. This tie is kicking my ass for some reason.”

Kristie appeared in the mirror behind me. “Here, let me help you.”

Our eye contact said more than words ever could. She knew I was in pain. She also knew she was the only one I would let see it. She’d been through this with me before when Jake died. Now, here we were again. Tragic, unnecessary loss looming over us like a black cloud…or maybe a black widow. Kristie had been instrumental in helping me work through my feelings back then, so I had no doubts she would do the same now.

“There,” she said. “You’re all put together.”

“Thanks. I don’t know how—”

“You don’t have to say anything. I’m here. Whatever you need.”

Pulling my sister in for a hug was the comfort I needed. Her love calmed me. It always had.

“I guess we better go,” I said, dread welling up inside. I didn’t want to say goodbye to Derrick and I certainly didn’t want to see Angelina. But it was all out of my control.

The drive over with my parents was quiet. My sisters followed behind with their husbands. Thankfully, my parents didn’t have the need to make idle small talk. Being lost in my own thoughts, I wouldn’t have been paying attention to them anyway.

Guilt crashed over me as my focus strayed from Derrick’s death to meeting Lindy when she almost fell into the ocean. Closing my eyes, I could feel her in my arms. I had to do something. I couldn’t let her go. In my heart, I knew we had met for a reason. When all of this settled down, I was going to reach out to her again. Maybe she’d listen to me then. I had to figure out a way to get through to her.

Arriving at the church, a lump formed in my throat. Today made it final. Derrick was gone and I’d never see him again. Flashes of Jake’s funeral streaked through my mind. I hated this. I fucking hated it all.

Up ahead was Angelina, dressed all in black…her dress, her stockings, her heels, everything. Grateful for a moment to myself before it all began, I hung back, letting others pass me by. Kristie caught on and backtracked toward me.

“Not ready yet?”

“No, I guess not.”

“You’re thinking about Jake, aren’t you?”

How did she always know? “Yes.”

Kristie took my hand and squeezed it. “I wish I could make it better, but I don’t know how.”

“You are making it better.”

My sister and I walked into the sanctuary together. Sitting toward the front, I caught a glimpse of Angelina out of my peripheral vision. She was staring at me, but I couldn’t look at her. I kept my eyes on Derrick’s urn. It was simple in stature like the urn Lindy had for her husband. Pastor Steven’s began the service. I had to admit, he sounded like the Charlie Brown teacher; sounds were leaving his mouth but not making sense to me. Taking in a deep breath, I forced myself to listen as he read Psalm 23 from the Bible. Derrick’s mom had chosen it. The words washed over me. “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters; He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord.”

“I love this Psalm,” Kristie mumbled under her breath.

“Me too,” I whispered to her. It brought me back to childhood, going to church with my parents, learning about the love of God. The words gave me peace, knowing that no matter what, somehow, everything was going to be okay.

***

I spoke with Angelina briefly before we left for Derrick’s family home. She appeared genuinely choked up about losing Derrick. At least until she brought up the meeting she had scheduled with the lawyer who had executed Derrick’s will. He was coming to the office tomorrow and she had taken it upon herself to inform my assistant to put the meeting on my schedule. Greedy bitch were two of the many words that came to mind, but I managed to just nod and say nothing. There was no point. California was a community property state and she had managed to make herself his wife. Hopefully he was at least happy with her and had no idea of her treacherous ways. On the bright side, as soon as things were finalized with her, I could go to Lindy. So, this was a blessing in disguise.

Thankfully, Olivia was too much of a lady to allow Angelina to openly affect her. However, I had no doubt on the inside she was seething. I’m sure it took every ounce of strength to have Angelina in her home. Angelina’s parents were guarding her like she was a prisoner and Mike hadn’t left Olivia’s side either. The tension was intense, like trying to tear down a brick wall with a spoon. I couldn’t wait for an appropriate amount of time to go by so I could get out of there.

Refreshments were served and small talk was made. The whole thing made me cringe on the inside. I felt pins and needles, wondering if Derrick’s mother and wife would end up going to blows.

My parents and Derrick’s parents meandered out to the patio. I knew my parents were a comfort to them. I had no idea how anyone ever got over losing their child. Perhaps they didn’t. They just survived it somehow. What else could they do?

“Trace, there you are,” I heard Angelina’s voice cry. “I can’t believe he’s actually gone. It’s been such a shock,” she said, pressing her body into mine for a hug. My stomach turned. Revulsion wasn’t a strong enough word for what it felt like to have her close to me.

“Yes, it has,” I mustered.

“I’m so grateful we have each other to get through this. Derrick was so very important to us both.”

I nodded, but couldn’t quite make myself smile. Did she really think I was falling for her act? I was going to need a shower after her hugging me. The woman sickened me, especially since my gut kept telling me she had something to do with this. I wish I could find some evidence to prove it.

Thankfully, Angelina was distracted by one of her family members who needed to leave. That was my cue to get away. Far, far away. I went out on the patio and said my goodbyes to Derrick’s parents.

“Please keep in touch,” Olivia said. “You know we love you like you were our own.”

“I know and I will. How about dinner next week?” I asked.

“Sounds lovely. We’ll see you next week.”

I kissed her on the cheek and then shook Mike’s hand. My parents got up to walk me out.

“Do you need us to drive you home?”

“No, Kristie is taking me.”

Both my parents hugged me as Kristie walked up. I said a few more goodbyes and departed. Before we were even down the street, Angelina was texting me, reminding me of our meeting tomorrow with the lawyer. I texted back a thumbs up, then shut off my phone. The only person I wanted to communicate with was Lindy.

Chapter 28: Lindy

Sometimes, life was way more complicated than I wanted it to be. Falling in love with Randy would be the ideal thing for me to do. Or, Trace not being on the rebound and completely available would have been even better. But, I didn’t have either perfect scenario. Taking risks wasn’t my forte. I’d always played it safe. Well, with the exception of the time I spent with Trace in Maui. He’d brought out the adventurous side of me that I didn’t know existed. Part of me wanted to get on the next flight to San Diego and show up at his office and just spend time with him to see if he really had moved on from his fiancée. Find out if we could have a future together or if it was all just a vacation fling. It felt like so much more to me, but I didn’t know what it was for him. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the means to hop on a plane and find out. I also had the added pressure of being engaged and I’m sure my fiancé would frown on me spending time with another man
. Especially a man who turns me on with just a look.

Ro had made some valid points when we talked, but she always did. She had been a compass in my life, pointing me in the right direction more times than I could remember. I was so lucky to have a friend like her. Even though she gave me food for thought, she didn’t tell me what to do. I loved her for that and so many other things. But now I had to weigh my choices and whatever my decision, I was going to live with it for the rest of my life.

That thought seemed daunting. The rest of my life with Randy sounded like forever. The rest of my life with Trace seemed like a blink of the eye.
Could we have made it more if I’d stayed?

Hugging my pillow, I wanted to sleep and not wake up for a week. Having bills to pay, a sabbatical was out of the question. I had the breakfast shift in the morning and it was always extremely busy. But, the good news was during that time, I wouldn’t be thinking about Trace or Randy. The mental down time to regroup was desperately needed. Perhaps tomorrow afternoon I would start journaling my feelings and clarity would reveal itself.

Morning came too soon, but that seemed to happen more often than not. I’d always had the dream of being a stay-at-home mom, taking care of my family and household, but each morning I woke up to nothing. No little sweet peas of my own…no husband…no dream come true. Well, the husband part was about to take care of itself. But in all actuality, I had no idea if Randy wanted the same lifestyle I did. Finding that out sooner rather than later would be ideal.

Taking out my phone, I texted Randy, inviting him over for dinner. I would find out tonight what his thoughts were on the whole family thing.

***

After my shift, I had time to go home and relax before Randy came over. Lying down in my bed, the covers brought me a sense of peace and soon I was drifting, letting everything in my mind surrender to sleep. My tired bones would get the rest they needed before making dinner for Randy.

To my surprise, I slept for three hours, but it had been wonderful. I knew I had been dreaming, but I couldn’t quite remember what it had been about. I just felt safe and loved. No matter what, I wanted to keep that feeling.

Getting up, I did the mundane things like showering, cleaning the house, preparing dinner. It had been a long time since I had cooked dinner for a man. Randy had texted he would bring white wine and dessert. He was thoughtful that way. I found myself looking for ways to appreciate him. Maybe tonight, he’d break down some of the walls I had strategically built around my heart.

His knocking at the door made me realize how time had flown by. “Come in,” I called.

Randy entered my trailer with wine, chocolate cake, and flowers.
Hmm
. He may know the way to a woman’s heart after all. I giggled to myself at the thought and would definitely be telling Ro about it tomorrow.

After placing the items on the table, Randy came to me, pulling me into his arms. “You look beautiful, Lindy.”

“Thank you,” I said, blushing.

Before I could say anything else, he was kissing me. His tongue swirled with mine as his hands pulled me in tighter. I was torn. Part of me wanted to embrace him, but part of me wanted to run. My conflicted feelings were understandable considering I still had so many thoughts of Trace. Could I fall in love with Randy? Randy’s kiss slowed and his nose nuzzled mine. He had no problem being adorable and affectionate. Concentrating this evening on Randy and our future had to take center stage. For all I knew, Trace was back together with his ex.

“So, how was your day, future Mrs. Guidry?”

“It was good. My morning was busy, but I had a relaxing afternoon. How about yours?”

“I landed a new client, The Eagle Glenn Golf Course. We’re going to be doing all of their landscaping. I need to hire another guy. It’s a huge account.”

“Oh, I’m so happy for you,” I said hugging him.

“You mean happy for us. Pretty soon, it will be your company too. Have you thought about a date yet?”

Randy wasn’t wasting any time. He knew what he wanted and was now pushing to get it. “It’s been a whirlwind, so I actually haven’t. But why don’t we have some wine and talk about it. Dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes.”

I took out the wine opener and handed it to Randy. Then, I got out two wine glasses. I was a bundle of nerves, so wine would be a welcome. The pressure of setting a date was getting to me.

We sat on my sofa and Randy took out his phone. “Would you prefer a Friday night or a Saturday?”

“I think a Saturday would be better.”

“Okay. How about two weeks from this Saturday?”

“Two weeks?” I surprised myself with how high my voice went.

“Too long? You want to get married in a week?”

“No,” I said, exaggerating the “o” sound more than I would have liked.

“Well, we don’t have any reason to wait. Honestly, I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for you to be mine. Please don’t make me wait any longer,” he said, picking up my hand and kissing the back of it.

His plea was so sweet. Looking into his big brown eyes, I melted a little. It felt really good to be wanted. “Well, I guess if the church is available, I can’t think of any reason why we need to wait,” I found myself saying. His big puppy dog eyes were getting to me.

“That’s a relief because I already booked the church. Pastor Hebert is available to do the ceremony.”

“Oh, wow. You’re on top of things. I do love Pastor Hebert. I always learn so much from him.”

“I remember you saying that one Sunday.”

“You do?”

“I remember everything, Lindy,” he said, his hand reaching to caress my cheek.

The timer went off and my lasagna was ready. “Dinner’s ready,” I said.

“It smells good.”

“Thank you. I hope you like it.”

Randy followed me the few steps it took to get to my kitchen. I already had salads prepared for us. I took the lasagna out of the oven as he sat at the table. I set the lasagna on the stove and cut it into squares.

“So, I couldn’t help but notice you are still wearing the locket Dane gave you.”

I froze for a moment with the plates of lasagna in my hands. Unsure of where he was going with this I said, “Yes, I am. Is that a problem?” I hoped it wasn’t because I wasn’t ready to give it up.

“Well, it’s kind of like your engagement ring from him. He gave it to you when he proposed.”

Dane had given me a ring. It had been small, but certainly enough. I had been devastated when I’d lost it when gardening last spring. Gutted.

“I see,” I said. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind to take off my locket for Randy, but I remembered thinking about taking it off for Trace.
Damn it.
My life would have been so much easier if I hadn’t have met him. Here he was again, popping up in my mind. I felt guilty for thinking about him when I was with Randy. I had to stop this.

“I guess it just seems so familiar to have it on, I barely notice it. It didn’t occur to me that you would want me to take it off.”

“Well, since we’re getting married in two weeks, don’t you think it’s time? I mean, I want to have a relationship with you, not you and Dane.”

Randy made a good point. I had gotten closure in Maui. It was time. Time to completely let go.

“Is that your cell?”

“Yes, someone is texting me.”

I picked up my phone. It was Trace. He hadn’t texted in days, but here he was again, finding a way into my life. I turned off my phone before reading his message. The last thing I needed right now was him affecting me. But he already had. I was kidding myself to think otherwise.

“Who is it?”

“Oh, it’s just Ro. I’ll talk to her later.” And there it was. My first lie to Randy. I was going to need to make it clear to Trace that I wasn’t available. That thought alone robbed me of my appetite.

Somehow, I managed to eat a few bites as Randy talked about his new account. Barely listening, I gave the appropriate acknowledgement tokens ever so often. Randy didn’t seem to notice.

“So, enough about business. Where do you want to go for our honeymoon? I’ve worked it out to have Travis cover for me. We could go for a week or so.”

“It would be nice to go somewhere tropical. I love being near the ocean.”

“Don’t say Maui. I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

Randy had no idea how much I agreed with him on that one. I couldn’t imagine being there with anyone else but Trace.
Damn it. “
How about the Bahamas?”

“The Bahamas would work. I’ll start looking at resorts online. You need to figure out all of the wedding particulars. Who would you like to have cater the reception?”

“Well, since we’re just having a small wedding, why don’t we have Andre’s Seafood cater for us? We know everyone loves their food.”

“Perfect. Their crab au gratin is amazing. I’ll set up a meeting with them and you can schedule the cake tasting.”

“Okay. That works.” Why did it feel like everything was coming at me fast and furious? Oh, that’s right…because it was. Two weeks. How was all of this going to come together in two weeks? After this conversation, I didn’t have the strength to bring up family and staying at home. I was emotionally spent.

I was surprised at myself for not speaking up, not stating what I wanted. I was letting Randy dictate just about everything.
Why was I doing that?
Guilt
. I had allowed Trace to be a third party in my relationship with Randy and I was giving in to everything because I felt guilty about my passionate feelings for Trace. I had to figure this out before it was too late. Before I said
I do
.