The Order of the Poison Oak (10 page)

“Why does she keep saying you are?”

He arched his back and swung his arms in circles, like he was on a swim team and loosening up for a meet. “Beats me. Maybe she’s got a thing for me.”

“Were you with her last night?” I asked.

I could see him choosing his words. “For a while,” he said. “We went for a walk. But it was nothin’.”

“Web. I need to know the truth.”

“I just told you! She’s into me. I tried to tell her I’m not into her, but she doesn’t get it.”

Something about Web’s story didn’t seem right. And why did he suddenly sound so impatient with me? On the other hand, it was close to what I wanted to hear. It did kind of make things make sense.

“You need to talk to her again,” I said. “Tell her the truth.”

He stepped toward me. “I will ,“ he said softly. “Later.”

“Wait! This thing with Min!”

“What about it?” He was breathing in my ear.

“It’s all a misunderstanding?” I said.

“Oh, yeah. Definitely.”

“But—”

“Shhhh.” Then he leaned closer to me still and whispered something.

“Web!” I said, even as my pulse quickened.

“What?” He looked absolutely innocent, which was saving something given what he’d just whispered in my ear.

“We can’t!” I said.

“Why not?”

“Well, for one thing, we don’t have any condoms. And even if we did, that’s just not something I’d do—not for a long, long time.”

“What, don’t you trust me?”

“No! I barely even
know
you! And you don’t know me either. You don’t know anything about what I’ve done and who I’ve been with.”

“Who says I don’t know you?” Web said. “I know what kind of person you are. I know all I need to know just by looking in your eyes.” And speaking of looking into eyes, that’s what he was doing right then.

“Web—”

“I know what a good person you are,” he went on. Then he smirked. “And how sexy you are.”

I’m embarrassed to say that talk like that from another guy generally works on me. Maybe it
always
works on me, because it was working on me even then.

“Come on.” I said this bashfully, like I wanted him to stop, but what I really wanted was for him to go on talking.

Web read me right (not difficult). “You
are,”
he said. “The first time I saw you, I thought you were so cute. I knew what I wanted. I wanted . . .
this.”

And he leaned in to kiss me.

The second his lips touched mine, I heard a third voice, and not in my head. “Uh-huh!” it said. Web and I turned to look. Of course, it was Min.

“Did you
really
think I wouldn’t follow you?” she said. I wasn’t sure who she was saying this to, Web or me, but I guess it didn’t really matter.

“Min,“ I started to say.

But she, like Gunnar earlier in the day, was already storming away from me.

Chapter Twelve

“Mm!” I called after her. “Wait!”

She didn’t wait, and I can’t say I blamed her. I wanted to follow her, but I wasn’t sure what I’d say. Deep down, I guess I’d known that Web was lying about not having been with Mm. So what was I doing kissing him? (Though, in my defense, technically
he
was kissing
me.)

I looked at Web. “Well?”

“Well what?” he said, clueless to the end—or at least pretending to be.

I pushed away, then stood there glaring at him like a disgruntled store detective. “Why is Min so upset?”

“Got me.”

“Web!”

“What?
She’s jealous! I told you she’s got a thing for me.”

“You hooked up with her last night!” I said. “Didn’t you?” I sounded accusatory, because I was.

He stared at me for a second. Then he sighed, wilting like a plant. “Okay, I lied. I was with Mm. I’m sorry, okay? But I had a reason.”

“What reason?” There was nothing he could possibly say to excuse what he’d done. Was there?

“I didn’t know I was gay,” Web said, softly, haltingly. “Not until two nights ago with you. It took me by surprise. I’d never felt that way about a guy before. I
was
with Min then—I lied to you about that. I’ve been with lots of girls. But it was so different with you. So much better.”

“If it was so much better,” I said, “what were you doing with Min last night?”

“This is a big deal for me, okay? I’m gay! Like I said, I’d never even thought about that before.”

“What does that have to do with—?”

“I needed to know for sure,” Web said. “So I hooked up with Min again. I know that’s not fair to you, or to Min. But I was confused. I wanted answers. And I found them. By being with Min, I learned once and for all that I didn’t want her, or any girl. I want you.”

Web sounded absolutely convincing. And even now, part of me wanted to believe him. Fortunately, I’m not a complete idiot. For one thing, if he didn’t know he was gay until that night with me, how did he know he wanted to kiss me the first time he saw me?

“I don’t believe you!” I said.

Web looked devastated, like a tree that had been toppled by a windstorm. “I’m telling you the truth! Russel, don’t you see? I
love
you.”

And that’s when I had my answer. He suddenly sounded so unbelievably phony. Up until now, his performance had been pretty damn good. His saying he “loved” me was the first completely false note. But that’s how I knew once and for all that this
was
a performance. Web was lying to me, just like he’d been lying all along.

“You’re pathetic,” I said, turning to go.

“Russel?” Web said. “Please. Don’t just walk away. I need you!”

“Would you stop?” I said. “It’s not working.”

And so Web did stop. He stopped looking like a toppled tree, or even a wilted plant. He stood up taller, but seemed looser, more relaxed. His face lost the hangdog expression too. The change was quick, and so complete that I felt a little like I was watching him transform into a werewolf.

Then he started laughing. Not at me necessarily. Just laughing.

“What?” I said.

“You look so serious!” he said.

Okay, so maybe Web was laughing at me. I liked it better before, when he was telling me how sexy I was. I now felt completely self-conscious, but I tried to carry on. “This
is
serious!” I said.

“No, it isn’t,” Web said. “We were just having fun anyway.”

“You just said you loved me!”

“Oh, that.”

“Yeah, that!”

“Come on, Russel. That was just stuff.”

This guy was incredible! “‘Stuff’?” I said. “Did you tell Min that ‘stuff’ too? That you loved her?”

“Maybe.”

“Why?”

“I told you. To have some fun.”

“So what are you?” I asked. “Bi?”

“Who cares? I just like sex.”

“Why me?”

“Because I could tell you were mooning over me. Dude, you were, like, kinda obvious.”

I knew my face was turning red. My only hope was that it wouldn’t he visible in the moonlight.

“Then Min told me you were into guys,” Web went on. “So I wanted to see just how far I could get. Which was pretty damn far!”

Even as embarrassed as I was, I couldn’t help but think: Min had told Web I was gay? How
could
she!

“What kind of person
are
you?” I said. “Lying to people? Taking advantage of them?”

“‘Taking advantage’?” Web said. “Are you kidding? It took me all of twenty minutes to get into your pants. Not exactly a challenge. Even Min took longer than that.”

By now, Web had to be able to see how red my face was, even in the dark, even in the orange throb of those distant forest fires.

Web laughed again. “Now you don’t just look serious—now you look shocked! Hey, it’s no big deal. It’s the way of the world. Guys need sex. You know I’m right.” He held a hand out toward me. “Now come on, let’s get each other off!”

I took a step backward, away from him.

“Oh, please!” he said. “It’s not like you’re Mr. Innocent!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.

“You knew Min and I were together when you let me put the moves on you.

“I did
not!”

“Come
on!
You
watched
us.”

This was something I hadn’t expected him to say. Web knew that I’d watched him and Min skinny-dip?

“What?” I said lamely.

“You know what I’m talkin’ about.”

“No, I don’t! I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about!”

But Web started laughing again, and that’s when I realized that the Order of the Poison Oak was something of a lie. Maybe I did have psychological scars, and maybe they
had
given me thick skin—just like Leo the Lion in that story that Web had told me about Hercules. But it hadn’t mattered, because Web, like Hercules, had found a way around my impenetrable skin. He had strangled me with his words and was now slicing me wide open with his laughter.

* * * * *

I had to find Min—to apologize, but also to have it out with her for telling Web about my being gay. Mostly, though, I needed someone to talk to about Web, and she was the closest thing to a friend I had left.

I hurtled down the trail, back toward camp. In the darkness, I kept stumbling on roots and rocks. As much as I wanted to find Min, I wanted even more to get away from Web. I felt like some character in a movie trying to outrun the monster. (The smolder of those distant forest fires made things even creepier, which didn’t help.)

Just as I reached the camp area, I ran smack into someone. I hit them so hard that we both fell over, into the bushes.

“Oh, shit!” I said. “Sorry!”

The person next to me on the ground groaned. They’d been carrying a flashlight, which I had somehow not seen, and it was lying near us in the leaves.

“Are you okay?” I said.

“Yeah,” said the person. “I think.” Otto.

“Oh, man,” I said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even see you!”

“It’s okay,” he said, struggling upright, shaking his head. “Why were you running so fast?”

For one brief second, I had forgotten what had happened back on the beach. Now I remembered.

I started crying, right there in the undergrowth. Right in front of Otto and everything.

“Russel?” he said. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

I tried to stop crying, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. It was a cloudburst of the face.

“Here,” Otto said, trying to help me upright. “Let’s go wake up the nurse.”

“No!” I said. I wiped my eyes on my T-shirt, even as they kept leaking tears. “I’m not hurt. It’s not the collision. It’s something else. Something that happened. The reason why I was running so fast.”

“Oh.” He hesitated a second. “Well, you wanna tell me about it?”

I did need to tell someone, and I wasn’t sure Min would want to see me right then even if I could find her in the dark.

“Yeah,” I said to Otto.

It was only then that I realized Web was probably right behind me on the trail. Even now, he was probably listening to me cry, and laughing.

“But not here,” I said, wiping my eyes again. This time, they stayed dry. “Let’s go somewhere else.”

* * * * *

I led Otto to the boathouse. I figured Web would never look for me there, and it was far enough from the fire pit that the other counselors wouldn’t overhear us either.

The lake seemed absolutely calm, but somehow I could still hear water lapping quietly against the pilings under the dock. Across the lake, the sky seemed less orange now, and I wondered if it was because the fires were dying down again.

“It’s a long story,” I said to Otto. He was sitting on the edge of one of the rowboats, and I was pacing back and forth (being careful to avoid sparrow droppings). “Well, it’s not really that long. But it’s kind of surprising. It’s about me and Web. You see, I’m gay.”

“I know,” he said.

“What?” I said. But my surprise quickly turned to panic. “Wait! Are people talking about me?”

“No,” Otto said. “It was last night. Those things you said about the Order of the Poison Oak. They were so beautiful, they made me cry. But afterward, I thought to myself, How could he know those things? You’re not a burn survivor.”

“So how could I be a member of the Order of the Poison Oak?”

He nodded. “Right. But as soon as I thought about it, I knew the answer.”

First Ian, now Otto. I guess I’d been more revealing than I’d thought last night in the woods.

“So you’re okay with it?” I asked him.

“That you’re gay? Sure. I mean, I have gay friends. Well, one.”

So I told him the whole convoluted story of me and Web. I may have left out the part about my spying on him and Min, but only because it slipped my mind at the time.

“When I was done, he said, “Wow.”

“I know,” I said. “I’m such an idiot! How could anyone be such an idiot to fall for his lies?”

“You’re not an idiot. Web’s hot.”

“Well, so what? Just because someone is good-looking, that doesn’t mean everything they say is true!” I was so fired up about everything that had happened that I hadn’t quite heard what Otto said. It took me a second to realize that Otto, this presumably straight guy, had just commented on how he thought another guy was hot.

“Wait,” I said. “You think Web is hot?” Maybe this wasn’t any big deal. But maybe it was.

Otto stood up and walked to the edge of one of the boat slips, then looked out across the lake. “I guess.”

“What are you saying?”

“I guess I’m saying what you think I’m saying.”

“You’re—?”

He nodded. “I mean, I guess.”

“But—”

“What?”

I had been going to say, But you’re a burn survivor, which would have been remarkably stupid, even for me.

So instead, I said, “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“You
didn’t tell anyone.”

“Good point.”

Ironically, talking to Otto really was making me feel better. Just not for the reasons I thought it would.

“Was Web your first?” Otto asked.

“What? Oh, no. Second.” I looked at him. “What about you? Do you have a boyfriend? Is that the one gay person you know?” I wasn’t sure if I should have asked this or not, given his scars, which made the question seem weird.

Otto shook his head. “Nah. My gay friend’s a girl. I’ve never been with anyone.”

“Oh,” I said. “Well, at this point, I’d say you’re probably better off.”

“Really?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ve just had bad luck.” I stopped. This felt weird too, complaining about my love life when I’d hooked up with two guys and Otto had never even been with one.

“Well, there is one guy,” Otto said.

“Yeah? Here at camp?”

Otto nodded, and that made me curious. There were only so many guys to go around. Five, in fact— at least among the counselors. And if Otto was one and Web and Gunnar and I were out, then who was left? A guy named Bill, who seemed pretty straight. And there was Ryan, one of the camp’s two burn survivor advisors. He was in his thirties, but he seemed nice enough.

“Who is it?” I asked Otto.

“Oh, God!” Otto said. “The timing is all wrong! This isn’t how I thought it would be. You’re all upset about Web and everything.”

“Otto. Who is it?”

And with that, he stepped forward and kissed me. It was soft and rough at the same time, and I don’t just mean his skin. He was gentle and passionate at the same time too. He smelled like clean pajamas.

Me? Otto liked
me?

Was this the night for surprises or what?

Finally, he stepped back and watched my face. I felt like a thing of unpopped Jiffy Pop, with him waiting to see if anything would happen.

“Me?” I said at last.
“I’m
the guy you like?”

He turned away again. “I told you the timing was lousy! Oh, hell, it’s not about timing, is it? That was so stupid!” He started to leave. “Forget it. Forget I did that, okay? I’m sorry.”

“Otto, wait.”

He stopped but didn’t look at me. Now I could tell that
he
was embarrassed—even in the dark, in the flush of the faraway fires.

“That was nice,” I said. “Really nice. It might even be my best kiss ever, because it came when I least expected it, but probably when I needed it most.”

He peeked over at me. “Really? You’re not grossed out?”

I smiled. That sounded like something I’d say after I kissed some guy. It just made me like Otto more.

“I’m not grossed out,” I said.

“So,” Otto said. “What do you wanna do now?” Subtle, this guy was not.

“Can we talk for a while?”

“Sure!”

And so we did. But later, we may have kissed some more too.