The Other C-Word (15 page)

I moved around his desk, and Rick followed me, closing the gap between us.

“Yeah, just imagine if I’d worn a skirt.” This time I moved, and he jolted for me making me scramble to the other side. I couldn’t help but laugh at Rick’s childish behaviour, but the intense look on his face slid the smile right off mine.

“This isn’t funny. Give me the card right now.”

“Why should I?”

“You are not going to pose for that sleaze ball.”

I giggled because it sounded so absurd. Rick’s irate expression did not yield. “He seems like a nice enough guy.” I knew I was just adding fuel to the fire, but I wanted to see how high the flames would get before someone got burnt.

Rick’s expression softened, as did his voice. “What he did to you…that was harassment, Marley.”

I laughed harder. “Oh, this coming from my boss, who’s literally chasing me around his desk right now?” I ran all the way around once more. Rick followed me. He could have caught me easily, but he held back, probably hoping I’d hand over the card on my own.

I ran over to the far wall and leaned against it. I wanted him to catch me, so I trapped myself, beckoning him. He advanced towards me in long strides, closing in on the space between us. He stopped a few feet away and swallowed, switching his expression from aggravated to imploring. “Do you really want to go to his house and take off all your clothes for a few photos?”

I placed my hands on my hips, not hiding my indignation. “For your information, it’s at a studio and he said it was all very artistic. It could be an enlightening experience.”

Rick drew in a sharp breath as if he were trying to calm himself, but the vein on his neck continued to throb and his hands twitched subtly. “I’m sure that’s what porno directors say too. Now are you going to give me that card or not?”

“You’re not the boss of me!” As soon as I’d said it, I realised how dumb it was, since he technically
was
the boss of me. He smiled coyly too, but his eyes were blazing and the twitch in his hands only became stronger.

His look was too intense for this to just be petty jealousy. It looked like raw lust and something else…control maybe? They weren’t traits I found endearing, but in this moment, they completely consumed me with desire. It was complicated.
Oh my God, all three words Rick used when he described what our relationship would be like
.

“Marley, please don’t make this anymore difficult for me. Give me the card.”

“You said you don’t care what I do outside this office, remember?”

He laughed cynically. “Isn’t it obvious that’s not true? I wish I didn’t care. I don’t want to care, but I do. Right now, I’m struggling between wanting to kiss you and kicking that asshole in the head. I promise though, if you give me the card, I’ll walk away from you like I always do. Like you want me to.”

His admission made my knees go weak. The thing was, I didn’t want him to walk away. Not again…not this time. I took the card out of my pocket and held it up to him. Just as he drew closer, I put it inside my bra. He stopped in his tracks, staring at my breasts with hooded eyes. “Is that an invitation?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll ask you once more. Give.
Me.
That. Card.”

“If you want it…come and get it.”

He walked with urgency, not stopping this time. His crushed his lips onto mine with furious passion. I felt a flood of sudden heat in my whole body. His lips were softer than I’d imagined, despite the fact that he was pressing them forcefully against mine. He kept them there, not moving as if the moment might disappear if he shifted. I didn’t move either because I was afraid of the same thing. He put a hand on each side of my face, rubbing his thumb gently across each of my cheeks.

He finally began moving his lips in slow, pressing, circles. He outlined my lips until I parted them then pushed his tongue into my mouth. He tangled his fingers in my hair before gliding his hands slowly down my body. I felt a shiver as they went over my breasts. He moved them down to my stomach then under my T-shirt. His hands were large and powerful, but soft and coaxing too, gently massaging as they explored my body. I moaned into his mouth, pulling his head closer to mine. Everything was a hundred times better than in my fantasies. His hair was softer, his mouth was more delicious, his arms stronger, his body more muscular.

He moved his lips almost rhythmically over my mouth while he thrust in and out, hitting the tip of my tongue each time—it felt like he was having sex with my mouth. He tasted like sweet peppermint…fresh, hot and clean at the same time. I moaned—it was the most amazing kiss I’d ever had, and I didn’t want it to stop. He moved his luscious mouth though, breaking our contact. He leaned against my neck, breathing heavily.

Rick backed away from me after a few minutes. It suddenly felt very cold. “I have to go check on the photographer and make sure he’s doing his job. I need you to stay late tonight and make sure the webmaster has all the info. Can you do that, Marley?”

I didn’t trust myself to speak so I just nodded and panted like some overzealous puppy. He walked out, shutting the door behind him. I allowed myself a few more minutes of solitude before going back to my desk. I had a little trouble walking in a straight line.
How could a mere kiss do this?

It wasn’t until I was reconciling the invoices for Alex’s work that I realised his business card was gone. I was so happy I was all alone in my little island of the office as I groped myself looking for it. It was kind of ridiculous of Rick to take it, since I had Alex’s number on his invoices and I was sure a simple Internet search could have located it as well. I thought the business card battle was more metaphorical for Rick. It wasn’t as if I would even consider posing nude anyway, although based on Rick’s response, I wouldn’t mind grabbing a few more business cards.

* * * *

I didn’t see Rick for the rest of the day. I knew he was somewhere in the building, working on his laptop. I pondered what the kiss meant, and whether he was ignoring me. All I knew for sure was that I wanted another and another. He knew how to kiss a woman senseless. At the end of the day, I texted him that I was leaving. His response was almost instantaneous that I needed to wait for him, even though it wasn’t that late. We didn’t speak in the elevator, exiling ourselves to our separate corners. We walked to the parking lot with so much distance between us, several more people could have fitted in the space. He opened the door for me. I was disappointed, but then he surprised me by opening the passenger side and getting into my car.

He didn’t say anything, so I finally broke the silence. “Are you trying to make sure I warm up my car, too?”

He laughed. “It’s a good idea, but I think we have other things to talk about, and I didn’t want to do it in the building.”

I nodded and readjusted the thermostat in my car, turned down the radio and fidgeted.

“Are we going to talk about the kiss, Marley?”

“We can pretend it never happened. We can add it to our list. We’re really good at pretending.”

“Is that what you want to do? I know how you responded to me, Marley. I wasn’t kissing myself up there,” he replied, running his hands through his hair. It all fell back into place perfectly.

“I admit I enjoyed it. I wanted more, but we both know this can’t happen.”

“Why not? There’s another C-word we have yet to explore…compromise. You tell me your reservations, and I’ll tell you mine. Hopefully, we can come to a consensus.”

I swallowed. “Well the most obvious one is that you’re my boss.”

“First off, I’m not in the traditional sense. I’m a contractor, and you’re an employee. We are simply teamed up on a special project. This company doesn’t have a ‘no fraternisation’ policy. Even if I were your boss in the traditional sense, we’d just have to sign a disclosure for HR. They wouldn’t let me be your manager anymore, but since I’m not an employee, a disclosure isn’t necessary.”

I turned to him, tilting my head. “How do you know that?”

“It’s my job to know these things,” he replied with a boyish smirk. I had no idea how it was his job to know our company’s HR policies, but I was glad he did. I wondered if he’d looked them up during the day. “So, that’s out of the way. What else, Marley?”

“Even if it’s not a policy, it would create a strain on our working relationship.”

He chuckled. “I think the strain already exists, but we can make a promise to be completely professional at work. We’ve done a pretty amazing job so far.”

That was true. I drew in a deep breath because I wasn’t sure how I wanted him to respond to my next question. “I don’t do relationships, Rick. Are you asking me to fit you into my rotation?”

His demeanour completely changed. He narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw. I’d obviously pissed him off. “Fuck no, let’s get one thing straight. If we do this, the only rotating you’ll be doing is on top of me. Do you understand that? I mean it. No other guys. No goodbye fucks. No sexting. Nothing, but me. Got it?”

I flinched with the harshness of his words.

He softened his expression. “Sorry, Marley. Look, neither one of us can do a relationship, right? You apparently have some aversion to it, and I’m leaving in three months. I just ask that during the next three months, you are completely mine, and I will be completely yours. It’s my hard-and-fast rule. Can you agree to it?”

I felt a fierce heat rise up in my belly at the thought of being Rick’s, even if it was only for three months. “Yes, I can agree to that, but you have to know some things about me. We can have a civil relationship, but I don’t date.” He nodded, but I paused for effect to let him know not to dismiss my words. “That means no dinners, no hanging out, no personal questions and I’ll never spend the night. That’s
my
hard-and-fast rule. Can you agree to it?”

“I get it. We’ll be friends with benefits.”

“No, Rick, we’ll just be…benefits.” I didn’t want to say it, but it was as much for my protection as his. I was pretty messed up and that’s one thing I didn’t want to reveal to him. I preferred to keep my secrets hidden away because the one thing I despised was pity.

His mouth formed a tight, grim line. When he spoke, the words were through gritted teeth. “Fine, I agree.”

“Okay, I guess that’s all of my terms.”

“Are you on birth control?”

“Yes.” I wondered if he wanted to take me right now. The thought was deliciously tantalising.

“When was the last time you were tested, Marley?”

Huh?
I searched his face, trying to comprehend the question. “I haven’t been, but I’ve been careful.”

He sighed heavily. “You’ll have to get tested then.”

Even though my conscience said he was right, my loins screamed, ‘fuck you’. “What about you?” I asked in an accusing tone, narrowing my eyebrows.

He grinned. “Of course, me too. I completely agree. We can go together, tomorrow…or would you consider that a date?”

Despite the intensity of the moment I laughed. “No, that’s fine with me.”

He nodded then got out of the car. The move surprised me. I thought we might have engaged in more than kissing tonight. I was majorly disappointed. “I’ll take care of the details. Drive safe, Marley.”

He walked back towards the entrance. I banged my head on the steering wheel. I looked up in time to watch him kick a trash can on his way into the building. It was a little ridiculous, but I felt somewhat vindicated knowing he was suffering right along with me.

Chapter Six

The next day was Friday. Fridays were awesome anyway, but this particular Friday had me blaring
Addicted
by Saving Able on my way to work. The illicit lyrics painted pleasing pictures of going down on Rick, or vice versa. It was full of lust, sex and passion. I had no business listening to this song—it was a terrible choice when battling
Chicago
rush-hour traffic. I punched the radio off button so quickly my finger hurt. Then I had to turn on the air-conditioning to full blast, even though it was a somewhat chilly day.

I brought Rick his coffee in the morning. He complimented my jeans. They were my favourite pair, dark blue, boot cut and tight in the right places. He wore jeans too and they outlined his waist and hips in the most pleasing way.

“Lunch today at noon, okay?”

I was surprised by his request, since we’d never had lunch together.

“You want to have lunch?”

“We have an appointment. Remember?”

Oh yeah, of course we do
.

* * * *

He drove us to a clinic close to work. We made small talk the whole way. I think neither of us wanted to venture into any tense topics. We sat next to each other in the crowded clinic and I squirmed in my seat, but was careful to remain at a respectable distance, although part of me longed to sniff his neck. He smelt lusciously palatable. He also looked delicious in his jeans and white button-down
Oxford
.

I was terribly nervous about so many things. Instead of trying to take my mind off them, I made a mental list, which only made the situation worse. I was anxious that despite our agreement, I knew our relationship would be different from any of my previous ones. This was because my feelings for Rick were different from any I’d ever experienced. I was apprehensive about the test, the lusty way he looked at me, that I’d be a disappointment in the bedroom and because our time together was short.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered against my neck, causing an immediate swell of goosebumps down my back. He had an uncanny ability to read my inner thoughts, but he didn’t have to be a mind reader to know I was jumpy.

I decided to reply with the thing that I was the least nervous about. “I don’t like needles.”

He chuckled and put his arm around me. “It’ll be over fast.”

When they called my name a moment later, Rick asked the young nurse if we could have our blood drawn together. “She’s scared of needles.”

“Sure, as long as you both agree,” the nurse replied, shooting Rick an appraising look. It was plain to see that his piercing eyes and chiselled jawline didn’t just affect me.

I sat on the tissue covered hospital bed and squeezed Rick’s hand. My eyes got wide when the nurse took out the vial and needles. She left the room to get some labels. He whispered in my ear, “If you’re a good girl, maybe I’ll give you a lollipop after this.” His teasing tone immediately put me at ease.

“What if I’m naughty?” I replied huskily.

“I’ll have to spank you.”

We didn’t say anymore. The nurse came back and drew my blood. He let me squeeze his hand the whole time. I admit I was still squeezing it and leaning into his chest when she told me she was done. I’d pretended not to hear her the first time.

I walked across the room when it was Rick’s turn. He took off his shirt—I hadn’t had to since I was wearing short sleeves. Watching Rick unbutton his shirt was ridiculously sexy, like he was stripping for me. It was probably because he looked right at me the whole time. The muscles that revealed themselves with each dislodged button exponentially increased my breathing until it became embarrassingly heavy.
Hot damn!

I had imagined his chest so many times, but nothing prepared me for the actual sight. His shoulders were broad, his arms were muscular and he had a perfect six-pack complimented by a v-shaped trail of light brown hair. He had a tattoo on his upper chest of a simple infinity sign. I wanted to trace it with my tongue. It shocked me that someone as conservative as Rick would have a tattoo. The man wore suits, for God’s sakes, when he could have worn khakis every day. I didn’t mind tattoos, but I didn’t love them either. I loved this tattoo. It looked perfectly placed and did nothing to detract from his faultless form. Apparently, the nurse noticed too because she took an extra-long time caressing Rick’s arm, explaining that she was trying to coax a vein. She hadn’t caressed my arm like that.

“Are you going to hold my hand, Marley?” Rick asked and I almost wondered if he had sensed my jealousy with the way this woman was groping him.

I sat next to him and squeezed his hand. I wanted her to think we were a couple in every way. As in, ‘mine, step off’—universal girl code. I had never felt so territorial. “Are you scared of needles too?” I asked him jokingly.

“No.” One simple word, but it completely aroused me, which was crazy since we were in this clinical, cold environment.

When it was over, I was a little disappointed when Rick pulled on his shirt and buttoned it. “When will we get the results?” he asked the nurse.

She looked over a clipboard and back at him. “I would estimate next Friday.”

Rick and I stared at each other, both of our eyes were huge and our mouths hung open in shock. It would have been comical if it weren’t for the crazy tension in the room.

“Can’t you rush it or something?” Rick implored and the desperation in his voice was clear.

She smiled and shook her head. It didn’t help that she put her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry. We have to send it out to a lab. That’s the earliest, but I think you’re both being so responsible. So many people don’t take this seriously.” She spoke to him, completely ignoring me, but that was fine. I was having a hard time just standing in place.

We walked to the car dejectedly, as if someone had stolen all our Christmas presents. Rick turned to me once we were inside, forcing a consoling smile on his face. “So we’ll wait, okay?”

I let out some sort of crying whine. An odd sound I can’t ever recall making. Once I found my voice, it came out crisp and demanding, “I have some other C-words for you Rick—convenience store, contraception and condom. As in, we drive to a convenience store, get another form of contraception such as a condom.”

He shook his head. “Sure we could do that, but I don’t like to use condoms, Marley. When I’m inside of you, I want to feel all of you. I don’t want anything separating us. We’ve waited this long and when we finally alleviate the tension between us…it’s going to be…ecstasy.” His words affected me, each one dripping with sex. There was no innuendo this time. It was all overtly laid out, in plain sight. “But, if you don’t want to wait, then we can go with those C-words you just mentioned.”

I took a deep breath, not wanting to sound as desperate as I felt. “I can wait.”

“Good,” he replied, pulling out of the parking space. We were almost back to work when he suddenly veered into a vacant lot.

“What are you doing?”

“I want to kiss you again. I don’t want to wait on that.” He barely had the car in park before he placed his hands on either side of my face and drew me close to him. His lips felt like velvety pillows. The kiss was softer, slower, but no less passionate than our first kiss. He coaxed his way into my mouth. He explored with a profound depth while he caressed my face and neck with his fingertips. He worked his way down my jawline to my neck, punctuating each progression with soft, wet kisses. He pulled away, but continued stroking my hair with his fingers, staring at me intently. The sounds of our rapid breathing permeated the air. “Don’t masturbate.” The words were the most shocking I’d ever heard.

My hand shot up and struck his face in a hasty reaction to the command. I slapped Rick. I didn’t slap him for the kiss. I loved the kiss. I smacked him for telling me not to masturbate. Surely, he wasn’t taking away my only form of relief.

He rubbed his check and I immediately felt guilty. “I can’t believe you slapped me. Are you into some S&M shit I need to know about?”

“No…sorry, but are you fucking crazy? First you tell me we have to wait until the results, then you kiss me like that and now you’re saying don’t masturbate?”

He grinned impishly and pulled me towards him again. “I won’t either. When I finally fuck you, it’ll be worth it. It will make everything so much more…epic. Do you know what I mean?”

“No,” I replied, pouting.

“Marley, I’ve been thinking about the German chocolate cake story, and this will be like that, but a million times better. Depriving ourselves will make the indulgence so much sweeter. Do you understand?”

I imagined he was right about that, but I suddenly wished I’d never told him that stupid story. “Fine.”

He smiled widely. “I’m glad you agree. Trust me when I say it will be harder for me.”

“I doubt it,” I replied, shifting towards the window.

“It definitely will. We have to promise not to tempt each other at work and don’t cheat, Marley. I’ll know if you cheated.”

I laughed, wondering if he could read my thoughts. I was contemplating cheating. “How will you know?”

“Trust me, baby, we’ll both know if the other has cheated. It will be quite obvious.”

I decided right then and there that I hated Fridays.