The Other Side of Paradise (30 page)

Stella said bluntly, ‘We don’t know what happened to him, Verity. That’s the thing. We don’t know if he’s dead or alive.’

‘Well, he’s alive. God knows how. Did you know he was in a Jap POW camp in Borneo?’

‘Yes, we found that out. And about the Sandakan march. We heard all about that, too.’

‘Then you know it’s a miracle that he survived. He was in a hospital in Borneo for a while, but the air force flew him home last week. I went down to Rose Bay when the flying boat came in. It was quite a moment, I can tell you, watching it land on the water. You see, I’d thought for a long time that he must have died. The last time I’d heard anything was in ’43, about eighteen months after he was taken prisoner. I got a card from him. Not a proper letter, just one of those printed POW cards the Japs gave them:
my health is excellent, I am working for pay
– that sort of thing. They ticked some things and crossed others out and it told you nothing. He’d signed it at the bottom but the date was eight months earlier. Then I didn’t hear a thing after that except how badly the Japanese had been treating POWs.’

‘Susan and I were interned for three and a half years. We know what bastards they can be.’

‘How dreadful for you both. I’m sorry. I’d no idea. We had it pretty easy here in Australia. There was a bit of a scare after the Japs landed in New Guinea. We thought that they might try to invade us from there, but of course they never managed it. We’ve been very lucky.’

Stella said, ‘Is Ray here in Sydney?’

‘Not at the moment. They wouldn’t let him go back to work yet, so he went off to our grandparents’ place out at Warranga. I’m driving there myself at the weekend, would you both like to come with me?’

‘Not me, thanks, Verity. Mum and Dad are just getting used to having me home. But Susan would. Wouldn’t you, Susie?’

‘I really don’t think—’

‘Oh, do come,’ Verity said. ‘We could surprise him. Give him quite a shock, as a matter of fact.’ She smiled. ‘You see, he thinks you’re dead.’

Silvery gum trees dotted green hills and beyond them lay more hills – purple smudges against a blue sky. The narrow road ran straight for miles and miles, the Holden churning up a long wake of red dust.

‘Warranga’s about a hundred and fifty miles from Sydney,’ Verity said. ‘Our grandparents bought the house and land years ago to retire to. My grandfather says it reminds him a little bit of Devon without the hedgerows, but he left there when he was sixteen so he’s probably forgotten what it’s really like. Have you ever been to Devon?’

She shook her head. ‘I’ve only been to England a few times. I’ve always lived in Malaya.’

‘Yes, Ray told me that. In fact, he told me quite a lot about you when he came home. He’s never talked about the Jap camp and I haven’t asked – but he talked about
you
.’

‘I can’t think why.’

‘Can’t you? You were on his conscience, for one thing. He’d found out that the ship you were on had been sunk and he thought you must have drowned – you and two children. An English boy and a little Chinese girl, he said. There was no record of any of you. He said he’d pretty much ordered you to take the children out of Singapore with the hospital nurses, and it was all his fault. He’d wanted you to get to safety and instead you’d died. He felt very bad.’

She was pleased to hear it.

‘Well, it
was
his fault, but I don’t hold it against him – not any more.’

‘How well do you know Ray, Susan?’

‘We’ve only met a few times. None of them very satisfactory. We always seemed to argue.’

‘Yes, he told me that too. It didn’t seem to make any difference.’

‘Difference?’

‘To how he felt about you. He fell for you the first time he ever saw you. At some party, he said. You were busy being a snooty Pom being gracious to rough Aussies.’

She remembered, with shame, how condescending she’d been. How patronizing.
How long have you been in Singapore? Where do you come from in Australia? How nice. How long will you be staying here?

‘I’m afraid that’s true.’

Verity smiled. ‘As I said, it didn’t make any difference.’

‘How is he?’

‘He was pretty bad when he got back – but he’s getting a lot better. God knows what the Japs did to him – he’s got the most terrible scars but he won’t talk about it. Not a word.’

She thought of the silent ex-POWs at the Singapore hospital and their haunted eyes. ‘They seldom do,’ she said.

The house at Warranga stood at the end of a mile-long driveway. It was a large one-storeyed wooden building with a corrugated-iron roof, and shaded from the sun by wide verandahs, window blinds and giant pots of greenery. Not unlike many houses in Malaya. Some horses were grazing in a grassy paddock under a group of trees beside a stream. She could see why it might have made the grandfather think of Devon without the hedgerows.

‘It’s beautiful,’ she said. ‘I didn’t know Australia could look anything like this.’

The grandparents were another surprise – not old and bent, as she had pictured, but sprightly and youthful.

The grandmother took her arm. ‘Ray went off with one of the horses and he won’t be back for an hour or so. Verity asked me not to tell him you were coming.’

Ceiling fans creaked inside the house, reminding her again of Malaya. The floors were dark polished wood, the furniture Victorian, the lamps old-fashioned with glass shades. A grey-haired, bony woman in a print apron brought tea and cake served on English china.

‘This is Jessie,’ the grandmother said. ‘She came from Scotland years ago. We couldn’t manage without her.’

Afterwards, the grandmother showed her the rose garden that she had made beside the house.

‘I had all the plants sent out by ship from England,’ she said, as they moved slowly from bush to bush. ‘I picked them out from a catalogue. A few of them died but the rest have flourished. So long as you keep them well watered, they don’t mind the heat. I’ve never been home but I’d like to go one day and see some of the beautiful English gardens. Get a few new ideas, and some new plants.’

She referred to England as home, just as the English had always done in Singapore. But those people had been talking about the country where they had been born, whereas this woman had never even seen it.

They were admiring the perfect form and creamy petals of Elizabeth Harkness when the grandmother looked up.

‘Ray’s back, I see.’

He was standing on the verandah, leaning on the balustrade, watching them. Susan wondered how long he had been there. She thought in horror, God, he looks as though he’s been through hell. And then, as he didn’t move or speak, she thought, in panic, he doesn’t recognize me. He’s wondering who on earth I am. The Sydney hair-do and the new frock haven’t made any difference. I still look like a camp scarecrow.

The grandmother broke the long silence. ‘I believe you two have already met.’

He nodded. ‘Too right, we have. Hallo, Susan.’

After supper they sat out on the verandah with the oil lamps lit and the insects fluttering and flitting around, which reminded her yet again of Malaya. No Soojal to bear
stengahs
or iced lime juice, though. Instead the grandfather brought out cold Australian beers and uncorked a bottle of Australian wine made from grapes that they’d grown at Warranga. It tasted good.

Ray had asked about Peter and Hua and she had told him about her father, and about her mother and grandmother, and about Stella. No details – just the bare facts and no sentiment. The rest would keep. She knew better than to ask anything about the deep and livid scars around his wrists.
Ray used to stick out his neck for them … the Japs punished him for it … they gave him a really bad time
. Her heart ached with pity for what he must have suffered and she felt like weeping. But he wouldn’t want pity. Or tears.

She sat silent now, listening to them discussing the Australian wine and the grapes and the grandfather talking about the plans he had to enlarge the vineyard. The night air was warm, almost as warm as it had been in Singapore, and she could smell the sweet scent of the English roses in the garden below the verandah. She watched Ray from her dark corner and sometimes he glanced her way.

‘You two will have plenty to talk about, I should think,’ the grandmother said later and the three of them went off to bed, leaving her alone with Ray.

‘Actually, I’m rather tired too,’ she said. ‘There’s no need for us to talk about anything, is there?’

‘I think there is. If you don’t mind.’

She sat down again.

‘Smoke?’ he asked.

‘No, thanks.’ Her hand might shake. She’d never felt shy before in her life; not until now.

He fired up the match with his thumbnail and held it to his cigarette and the flame illuminated the terrible scars. He leaned against the verandah post, smoking the cigarette.

‘I owe you an apology, Susan, for what you’ve been through.’

‘You do, rather.’

‘It was my fault.’

‘Yes, it was.’

‘I thought you’d drowned on that ship – you and those two kids.’

‘We nearly did.’

‘How the hell did you manage to survive?’

‘I’ll tell you about it one day.’

He nodded. ‘Fair enough. You’re alive, that’s the main thing.’

‘So are you. That’s another main thing.’

He smiled. ‘I reckon we must both be born survivors.’

She said, ‘Actually, to be fair, it could have been just as bad if I’d stayed in Singapore. I gather Changi was pretty grim.’

‘I wasn’t there. We were sent to Borneo.’

‘Yes, I heard.’

There was silence for a moment, except for the frantic beating of a moth’s wings.

‘Well, now you’re finally Down Under, what do you think of it?’

‘I haven’t seen anything much. Mostly Sydney.’

‘How do you like it?’

‘Not bad.’

‘That’s praise, coming from you.’

‘Stella drove me around. I’ve seen Paddington, King’s Cross, Circular Quay, Bondi Beach, the Botanic Gardens …’ She ticked them off on her fingers. ‘And I’ve been on the ferry across to Lunar Park – that was fun – and she took me to Taronga Zoo. That was amazing. They had kangaroos and wallabies and koala bears and a duck-billed platypus. I’d never seen any of those before. You have some really weird animals. And all those horrible poisonous spiders and snakes – far worse than in Malaya. It’s a wonder any of you survive.’

‘We’re used to them. What do you think of our Bridge?’

‘You can see it from all over the city, can’t you? Everywhere you go. Round every corner. It’s quite a sight.’

‘Did Stella take you up the coast? Did she show you Whale Beach, Palm Beach, Pittwater?’

‘There hasn’t been time.’

‘That’s a pity,’ he said. ‘When do you go on to Perth?’

‘Wednesday next week. I’m flying Qantas. It’s all booked.’

‘How long will you stay there?’

She shrugged. ‘My mother wants to go back to England as soon as possible. My grandmother wants to go back to Penang.’

‘How about you? Where do you want to go?’

‘I expect I’ll end up going to England.’

‘It’s a long way away.’

‘Yes, it is.’

‘I thought you didn’t like it over there.’

‘I don’t, but there’s not a lot of choice. I don’t want to go back to Singapore now. Too many ghosts.’

‘I know what you mean. But you must see a bit more of Australia before you go. Can you ride a horse?’

‘I used to have my own pony.’

‘Good. I’ll take you out tomorrow, if you want. Show you round Warranga. It’s a wonderful place.’

She said politely, ‘I’d like that. Thank you.’

There were flashes of lightning out in the darkness – an electrical storm going on in the far distance, the faint grumbling rumble of thunder. Another reminder of Malaya. She thought of the dance a hundred years ago at the naval base when she and the sub lieutenant – the one who had been such a good dancer – had watched a night storm out on the mainland.
What if the Japs didn’t come from the sea? Supposing they come from the peninsula instead? Oh, they’d never try that. The jungle’s virtually impassable. A snake couldn’t get through
.

She said, ‘Stella and I heard about what the Japs did at the Alexandra. We were afraid they’d killed you. We thought you must be dead.’

‘I was one of the lucky ones.’

‘And Geoff?’

‘He wasn’t so lucky.’

‘I’m very sorry,’ she said. ‘Milly will be too.’

‘What happened to her?’

‘She got away on one of the liners, but I haven’t been able to find out yet if she’s safe. Everything’s still in such chaos in Singapore. It’s going to take ages to sort out.’

She got up from her chair and went over to the verandah. She looked up at the night sky and the stars.

‘That’s the Southern Cross up there, isn’t it? Those five stars.’

‘Yeah. Same as on our Aussie flag.’

‘I didn’t know that.’

‘Don’t tell me you’ve never noticed them?’

‘Sorry, I can’t say that I have. I mean, I knew there were some stars on your flag but not what they were. But I know all about swagmen and billabongs and jumbucks. Stella taught the children to sing “Waltzing Matilda” in the camps. We did a lot of singing.’ She went on stargazing. ‘And I used to spend a lot of time watching the stars at night. They were a big comfort. I’m not quite sure why.’

‘Maybe because they were still there. Something to hang on to.’

‘Yes. It was the worst thing about being in solitary – not being able to see them.’

He said quietly, ‘The Japs put you in solitary?’

‘For a bit. But I wasn’t alone. I talked to everyone I could think of while I was there. I had long conversations with them. Even with you.’

‘Even me?’ He sounded surprised and amused. ‘My word. Fancy that.’

‘Even you. Only you weren’t feeling at all guilty about what had happened. You agreed with my mother that it was my fault for getting off the other boat in the first place. In fact, you were rather beastly about everything. You said I’d got to put up with things and keep going, for the children’s sake.’

‘I was right, wasn’t I?’

‘Yes, you were absolutely right. And you were nicer later.’