The Other Sister (Sister Series, #1) (19 page)

But he couldn’t. Jessie needed him too much.

“Listen to me
, Jessie, it was not your fault. None of it. You did what you had to just so you could survive.”

“No, Will, I let them.”

Ahh finally, the reason, the why, the motivation behind all that Jessie did to punish herself. “You had no choice. You didn’t let anyone do anything. You were forced, and you got through it the best way you could. Just like what happened in Mexico.”

She stared out the window. “There must be something wrong with me for me to attract only men who want to hurt me.”

He gritted his teeth and squeezed the steering wheel to keep from grabbing her. Then, with his voice far quieter than his speeding heart, he said, “You respect me, don’t you, Jessie? You’ve always acted like you do.”

She looked at him, and gave a subtle nod.
“Yes.”

“Well, I don’
t want to hurt you. I don’t want to do anything to hurt you, sexually or otherwise. So listen to me when I say it isn’t your fault. Nothing that ever happened to you was your fault. Even the things you did that you think were wrong, are not your fault.”

“How long before you get tired of this? My problems? No one can live with them for long.”

“I can. I can live with a lot. Come on, let’s go inside. You’ve had enough for one night.”

She hesitated, but finally got out of the truck.

He quietly watched her disappear into the bathroom. He heard the water filling the bathtub. She was going to dissolve into the water, and hurt herself. Cut herself. He knew she kept spare razors hidden behind the last drawer in the cabinet. He knew she continued to do it because she couldn’t survive any other way. So he let her. He left her alone. He sat on the couch and rubbed his temple with his hands, trying to release the pressure that Jessie’s sad, young life created in him. He knew she expected him to leave her, to bolt, to deny it. Pretty much as Lindsey had. On some level, Lindsey must know the truth, but perhaps it was so deep, she kept it buried. Maybe Lindsey couldn’t deal with it so she made everything Jessie’s fault.

What could he do for Jessie? How could he help her? He knew that just loving her wasn’t enough. He could talk to her until he was blue in the face and never really touch the pain inside her. She needed help. Help he couldn’t give. Professional help. The problem was, he had no idea how to make her want to get it.

He also had to figure out how to live through her grief, acting out, and sporadic, unpredictable moods and episodes.

He questioned his motivation for a moment, sitting there in his apartment. He could leave it be. Let Jessie have the baby, divorce her, move on. Leave her.

But he knew now, he’d never do that. He had to try,
because no one else would, before she ended up the victim of her own self-inflicted wounds. Someone had to love her enough to convince her to save herself. Despite his best intentions, that someone was him. Maybe because there was no one else. Or because he was the only one who really knew the whole story.

For once in his life, there was no walking away. There was someone who needed him more than he needed his independence.

Jessie was becoming a permanent fixture in his life, and under his care.
Tonight only showed him how desperately Jessie needed his help. He squeezed his hand into a tight fist. There was nothing he could do to fix her, although he wanted to. God knows he did. But he could not. So he had to find out what kind of help was out there for the wounds Jessie suffered and did to herself to cope. He had to find her professional help, and then figure out how to get her to go there. He knew of two people whose aid he now needed, and it was time he contacted them.

He might have fallen in love with her, but there was little chance, Jessie would ever be in any kind of shape to love him back. Or have a healthy
relationship. Jessie was now his responsibility, and deserving of his help, protection, and care. Not exactly the makings for an equitable relationship, or even the glimpse of a happy ending. All that Will hoped for Jessie and him was an okay ending, and an okay life for her. Anything would be better for Jessie than what she was now.

Jessie avoided Will for days. And he let her. Maybe he finally believed what was inside of her wasn’t normal. He got the whole nasty picture of who she was. Of course, he could only grow to hate her. Or, at the very least, keep her at even longer arm’s length than he already did.

She followed him on the jogging trails, often with few words uttered between them. She started cooking regularly for him, just to have an activity to fill her afternoons in the quiet apartment.

She began to appreciate little things about him, like how he cleaned up after himself. And after her. He never brought any of his friends home to gawk at her. He kept her separate from his real life, a life that she knew included close friends, sharing dinners, playing pool, and being out. She often wondered if that’s when he picked up women. At some point, he had to. But as long as it wasn’t with Lindsey, she didn’t care.

Then one evening, the doorbell pealed. Jessie rarely had visitors. Everyone knew she was home all the time, and consequently avoided Will’s place. There was a blond woman at the door, young and pretty, with long legs and torso, subtle curves, her hair, short and softly curled around her pretty face. The woman’s jaw dropped as she surveyed Jessie.

Jessie didn’t look all that great anymore. Her hair had grown too long and had split ends. She rarely mustered the energy to put on makeup anymore. She didn’t go anywhere, and didn’t do anything. She stayed in and wore loose-fitting clothes to hide the weight she was rapidly gaining. The woman took in Jessie’s entire body from head to toe, stopping at her stomach.

“Can I help you?”

“Um, I’m sorry. I didn’t expect anyone here. I’m Gretchen Hendricks. Who are you?”

Will
’s ex-wife?
She was lovely, classy. And quite reminiscent of Lindsey.

“I’m Jessie. Jessie Hendricks.”

“Will got remarried?” The woman leaned into the doorjamb as if the shock of it might knock her off her feet. “He didn’t tell me. I can’t believe he didn’t tell me,” the women muttered, before straightening up, and smiling. “Forgive me, I’m being so rude. This, you, I mean, were quite a surprise to me.”

“I get that a lot. Will’s not here. You’ll have to come back later.”

Jessie slammed the door. She gathered most people didn’t slam the door in Gretchen’s face, and Jessie was being horrible to her. No doubt, Will would hear, but she couldn’t help it. Like Lindsey, the woman was everything Jessie wasn’t. And Will loved her and married her, only for real. Not like the shameful, embarrassing reasons Will married Jessie. Jessie left the pot of stew simmering. She went into the bathroom, and started filling the bathtub.

“Hello? Jessie? Are you there?” Lindsey called as she entered Will’s apartment. She rang the bell twice, and finally twisted the doorknob, and was surprised to find it unlocked. Now she was standing in th
e empty entry of the silent apartment, confused since the stove was on, with a heavy pot filling the small, bare apartment with a warm, spicy aroma.

Why didn’t Jessie try to fix it up? Make a home for Will? Why didn’t Jessie at least try to hold onto Will Hendricks?

There were tousled blankets and pillows on the couch. Did they have an argument? Lindsey called her sister’s name again. Finally, she entered the single bedroom. The bed was unmade, but it reeked of Jessie’s perfume. The room was strewn in clothing and Jessie paraphernalia, much like her room at home always looked. Jessie slept in here, but Will didn’t.

She heard the soft tinkling of water. Lindsey glanced at the closed door to the bathroom. She called again. Nothing. Finally Lindsey turned the doorknob, and entered the small bathroom. She stopped and gasp
ed out loud. There lay her sister, quiet and unmoving, her head under water, her nose the only thing on the surface. Lindsey could see the smooth water rippling where her sister breathed. But other than that, she lay completely still in the pink-colored water.
Water filled with Jessie’s blood.
Lindsey’s eyes traveled over her sister’s body, and found the seeping trail of blood from her sister’s legs. Lindsey was absolutely horrified.

Jessie suddenly sat up
, and with a startled look at Lindsey, her eyes widened. Lindsey backed up without a word, staring at the blood now beading down her sister’s legs when she stood.

“Lindsey, what are you doing in here?” Jessie screeched at her. She grabbed at the towel rack.
She was alive.
The relief rang sharply inside of Lindsey. For a split second, she thought the bloody bath held her dead sister. But no, she was alive. What was this?

Backing up more, Lindsey spun on her foot and ran out of the strange apartment. She ran down the front steps, to her car, and drove away from her crazy sister. The reason
Will called her became alarmingly clear: her sister was insane.

Will looked up and smiled when he spotted Gretchen crossing the crowded floor of the restaurant. Half an hour ago, she called to announce she was in town, and where could they meet? His heart had leapt from his chest,
thank God,
Gretchen had made it in time to help him see his plan through.

Will’s eyes took her in. He always found her breathtaking. Her long legs, and classic features, which her short hair only emphasized. She always dressed business casual, and always neat as a pin. Something he totally appreciated.

She broke his heart when she left him. But he knew he broke hers too by always being gone when she needed him. Their split was never “he said/she said.” It was more about mutual regret and sadness. There was never any blame game, just two people who were unable to live with each other.

She slid into the booth across from him, smiling and dropping her purse next to her. She was now a successful child psychologist with her own practice in Northern California. She was halfway through her education when they accidentally, but happily, made a baby. A baby that they lost, and which led to their divorce. She moved on to finish her degrees and training, and now at twenty-eight years old, she had a successful practice.

She stared at him and her eyes filled with reproach. “Why didn’t you tell me you were married?
Is that why you insisted I come see you?”

Will’s smile faltered. He didn’t expect her to go by his apartment first. “You met Jessie?”

“Jessie? She’s what? Nineteen? Twenty? How could you not tell me? I was totally blind-sided.”

Will let out a breath. “Jessie. You met Jessie. What did she do?”

Gretchen frowned at him. “What do you mean ‘what did she do?’ She looked terrible, acted very rude, and slammed the door in my face.”

Jessie did look terrible. She was rude. Jessie kept spiraling downhill since the dinner at her father’s house. And since telling Will more about her history. She didn’t groom herself. She didn’t shower. She just lay around and barely got up to go running with Will. She cooked terrible dishes for him that he could hardly manage to keep down.

“What’s going on
? Who is she?”

“She’s Jessie Bains. General
Bains’s daughter.”

Gretchen stiffened. She heard his name from Will before. He always said General
Bains was his example of whom he’d like to emulate.

“The girl in the news recently? The one you saved?”

“The very same. Only there’s so much more.”

“She’s pregnant,” Gretchen said quietly, her face revealing the pain it caused her.

“It’s not mine.”

Gretchen’s eyebrows raised, and she blinked her eyes. “Then what are you doing married to her? My God, you never do things like this. It took you four years to marry me after we started dating, and we’d known each other since we were thirteen!”

“And look where that got me. Maybe timing wasn’t the answer.”

“Oh? But youth is? Is she even legal? I’ve known you for fifteen years, and nothing could have prepared me for this! You don’t act like this. What’s going on?”

“Yes, she’s legal. I’m well aware of what this looks like. The thing you’ve got to trust me on, is it’s nothing like it looks. Come on, you know me.”

Gretchen nodded. “I usually do. I just, this was such a shock, I guess. I lose perspective when it comes to you. I just never expected you to be remarried.”

“I know.” He felt a strange tic starting in his eye. What might Gretchen’s unannounced visit do to Jessie? He had asked Gretchen to come. He hadn’t expected her to show up in North Carolina, and go straight to his apartment.

“It’s been two years since the divorce, and lately, I’ve been seeing things differently. I divorced you from a place of pain and anger that did not include my true feelings for you.”

“I know that too. I always knew that. But it still didn’t change that you left. And now, I’m involved in something new.”

“You didn’t say someone new. What is it with her?”

“With Jessie it’s an all-encompassing everything.”

“I don’t understand. What are you involved in?”

“She needs help. I mean serious, emotional, and mental help. Intensive. I have a plan in mind. I have a place lined up for her to go. The thing is, I need you to make sure the plan works, and then keep checking on her. The other thing is, I don’t know how to get her to agree to go.”

Gretchen’s face crumbled. “What did you get involved with? Why? Why are you getting so involved with such a troubled girl, who is pregnant by someone else?”

He sighed, leaning back as the waitress set their drinks before them, along with the nacho basket they agreed to share. He and Gretchen always moved in sync like that. He reached for a chip, took a bite, and a swig of his beer while deciding where to start.

“The first time I ever laid eyes on Jessie, I was crouched in the duct work of the building she was being held in. I crawl
ed to a vent when I heard a woman’s voice. And then I saw her below me. She was tied up, her hands cuffed over her head and secured to some metal pipes running along the old building. Her legs were tied off with ropes, jerry-rigged to the floor to keep her legs spread wide. She was naked and crying. I watched her get raped. More than once. I sat in the duct work, staring at her, and eventually, I had to turn away. I couldn’t bear watching it. They tortured her for hours. Eventually, she was released, and made to walk back to this coffin-like cell where they kept her. They chained her to the wall, naked and freezing, and in complete darkness. I snuck into her cell and got her out as quickly as I could. But I was too late. Days too late. You have no idea what was done to her.”

Gretchen’s mouth fell open. “That’s what happened in Mexico? The same story that was featured across all the newspapers as your heroic rescue of the ‘just fine’ Jessie Bains?”

“Yeah. She didn’t tell anyone. Or go to the hospital. My first mistake. She deteriorated even further after we got back. She kept reaching out to me, although I don’t even think she meant to. It’s just that I knew. I knew what was wrong and that’s all she needed from me, my understanding what no one else did or wanted to.”

“And that’s your connection to her? She got pregnant in Mexico from the rapes?”

“Yes.”

“W
hy did you marry her?”

“There’s more to her story. Her father, and other things that she doesn’t want known. That was our connection when it started, but now, it’s more. Despite my better judgment, I fell in love with her. I can’t let her suffer anymore. I need to get her the help she needs. She cuts herself. Has for years as near as I can figure out.”

Gretchen gasped. “That’s not a result of Mexico?”

“No.”

Gretchen leaned back, and exhaled slowly. The lights reflected her platinum curls in shining back glow. Once, Will might have felt his heart falling out of his chest for wanting Gretchen back so badly. He had felt disappointment and pain over the loss of their life together. Now, however, he merely felt pressed for time to figure out what best to do for Jessie. Jessie would hate him if she found out whom he told her story to. But Gretchen knew people, as well as the system for getting counseling and professional help. Besides, he trusted Gretchen to be completely confidential and caring in whatever she did. And she could never be controlled or manipulated by General Travis Bains, because she would never be known to the general.

“She sounds like
she has a multitude of emotional problems including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the Mexico ordeal. But, Will, I specialize in children’s disorders, I can’t really say.”

“Gretchen, in many ways, she’s just that.”

Gretchen’s eyes focused in on him. “What are you looking for with her? A real marriage?”

He shrugged. “I doubt it. I doubt she could ever feel normal around me. Mostly, I’m trying to make sure she doesn’t commit suicide. I want to show her she can survive despite having this baby. That she can learn to heal. There has to be something or someone out there to help her.”

“You think she could commit suicide?”

“No. Not really. I’ve just never seen anyone hold so much pain inside as she does. I know I can’t help her, but I can’t stand seeing her so sad.”

“How come you’re smart enough to know you can’t save her?”

“You, Gretchen. You taught me a thing or two. I tried to save you, instead of standing by you.”

“It wasn’t just that. I know you didn’t fully understand how devastated I was after the miscarriage. You tried to help me, but you weren’t physically here. You didn’t connect with the pregnancy or see its heartbeat. The side effects of military life. Your coming and going, it was like—”

“You were living your life in a holding pattern. Unable to deal with real things because when I was around, you were trying to keep things good to get us through the times when I was gone.”

“You finally got it. I never dreamed you’d really fully understand. I know you thought I should have just been stronger.”

“Jessie explained that to me.”

“She did?”

“Yeah. She did.”

Will’s phone rang. He looked at the display, expecting Jessie. Instead, Lindsey’s number came up. He answered it.

“Where are you?”
she shrieked over the phone.

“Lindsey? What’s wrong?”

“Oh God! You won’t believe it. She was bleeding. Bleeding in the bathtub and she lay in it like she liked it. Oh my God, I think—”

“You mean Jessie? You
found her? She cut herself?”

“Cut herself? Like on purpose? What the hell are you talking about?”

“Yes, like on purpose. Where is she now?”

“I don’t know. I left. I’m calling you. What is going on?”

“Go back to our apartment, and make sure she’s okay. I’ll be right there.”

Will hung up before Lindsey could explain why she couldn’t possibly do that. He was on his feet as he was speaking and noticed Gretchen gathering up her coat and purse.

“I’m coming with you.”

There might be a chance Jessie wouldn’t forgive him. First, for letting Lindsey find out, and now, for Gretchen, his ex-wife, knowing. She’d never understand that. But he needed to help Jessie more than he needed her to like him.

He drove to his apartment, and quickly ran to the front door, where he barged in as if storming the place for enemies. Lindsey jumped up at his unexpected entrance. She had tears on her face, and her hair was messed up as if she’d been tugging her hands through it. The apartment was barely lit by a single microwave light.

“Where is she?”

“She hasn’t come out of the bedroom. What is going on? Why weren’t you shocked by my phone call? She was lying in blood. What the hell is wrong with her?”

“Everything, Lindsey. Everything is wrong with her. And it’s time you took the blinders off. It’s time you quit listening to Daddy’s lies about your sister and open your eyes and look at her.”

“I do see her!
I see the pain and destruction she causes. I see her controlling you. How can you want her in your life? Cutting herself? Who does that? I caught her at your wedding. Right before she walked down the aisle, she had blood running down her legs, and onto her dress. She told me it was an accident. My God, she cut herself then too, didn’t she?”

“You think I didn’t know that? You’re the one who refuses to see what is right in front of your fucking nose
, Lindsey. It’s time you faced up to some things. Starting with what was done to your sister. But first, I need to check on her.”

Lindsey stepped out of his way as he stomped past her, her face falling in surprise and pain. Jessie had locked the door. He quickly popped the lock and opened the door, not bothering to even ask her to open it. He knew better. He found her on the bed, her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms over her knees. She didn’t stop the cuts, and blood stained her legs, and the bedding. She didn’t notice. She was still naked, although dry, but freezing. He pulled a blanket off the bed, and came closer to her. He wrapped it over her shoulders. She looked up at him, but her eyes were foggy, unseeing.

“She saw me. She’ll tell him. He’ll know now. He’ll kill me for this. He’ll kill me.”

Gently, he said,
“No one will kill you. It’s okay, Jessie. It’s okay.”

Lindsey came to the doorway. Their eyes met. Lindsey’s eyes were open in horror as she beheld her miserable sister. The questions in her eyes were deep and sincere. Lindsey’s blinders had painfully been ripped away, much the way the general ripped away Jessie’s innocence at
the age of sixteen when he ordered her into
that
room.

Will went to the bathroom, and got the first aid
kid, which he took back to the bed. He gently uncovered Jessie’s legs until he found the cuts. He pushed a clean towel on them and applied pressure as he held it.

“Why are they so deep?” he asked quietly. She usually cut shallow, small incisions. These were much longer, and deeper, almost worthy of stitches.

She listlessly shrugged, riveting her gaze on the bed.

“You met Gretchen, didn’t you? I know she upset you. I invited her here because I need her help. I need to help you, and she can do th
at. She’s got a doctorate in clinical psychology and I trust her to help us get you the help you need to heal.”