The Party Boy's Guide to Dating a Geek (Clumsy Cupids)

Table of Contents

Title Page

Book Details

Dedication

Prologue

0.1

0.2

1. Star Wars vs. Star Trek: A Primer

1.1

1.2

1.3

2. RTFMing

2.1

2.2

3. Is He a Mac or a PC?

3.1

3.2

3.3

4. A Torrent of Misunderstanding

4.1

4.2

4.3

4.4

5. (Sky)Rimming a Dragon in the

Dungeon

5.1

5.2

6. You've Been Steampunk'd

6.1

6.2

6.3

6.4

7. Binaries: There Are 10 Ways to Look

at It

7.1

7.2

8. Code Warriors

8.1

8.2

9. Hacked to Bits

9.1

9.2

9.3

9.4

10. Man Man

10.1

10.2

11. Space Invaders

11.1

11.2

12. Oh Captain, My Captain: Kirk vs.

Picard

12.1

12.2

12.3

12.4

13. Denial (of Service) Attacks

13.1

13.2

13.3

13.4

14. System Recovery

14.1

Epilogue

About the Authors

The Party Boy’s Guide to Dating a

Geek

Piper Vaughn & Xara X. Xanakas

Ashley Byrne only wants one thing in life: to

finish his tattoo apprenticeship and fulfill his

dream of owning his own shop. In the meantime, he

spends his nights partying, flirting, and having sex.

After all, what else is there for him to worry

about? Aside from his hair and his clothes, not

much. He's hot, and rest assured no one knows it

better than him. He's also used to getting what he

wants—until he meets Felipe Navarro.

Fee Navarro has everything he needs: a great IT

job, a nice apartment, and all the high-tech toys his

geeky heart could ever want. He doesn't do casual,

and he knows guys like Ash are nothing but. Ash

may burn hot for Fee, but Fee isn't willing to take a

chance on a vain, little party boy with too many

tats and an oversized ego. He wants someone to

share his life with, and he won't settle for anything

less. Too bad Ash has never been the type to give

up easily. He has a plan, and he's not stopping until

he proves he's more than just a pretty face—he's

someone worthy of winning Fee's heart.

Book Details

The Party Boy's Guide to Dating a Geek

A Clumsy Cupid Instruction Manual 01

By Piper Vaughn and Xara X. Xanakas

Published by Less Than Three Press LLC

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be

used or reproduced in any manner without written

permission of the publisher, except for the purpose

of reviews.

Edited by Samantha M. Derr

Cover designed by Aisha Akeju

This book is a work of fiction and as such all

characters and situations are fictitious. Any

resemblance to actual people, places, or events is

coincidental.

First Edition October 2012

Copyright © 2012 by Piper Vaughn and Xara X.

Xanakas

Printed in the United States of America

ISBN 9781620040362

To all the geeks out there, the role-players, the

techies, the Whovians, the Browncoats, and the

Star Wars fanatics. This is for you. With love.

Prologue

0.1

"How many more of these are there?" Ash asked

as he set another box down in the middle of the

living room. He felt as if he'd been hauling his

brother's belongings for days. He slouched to rest

against the box, letting it take his weight.

"Just another hundred or so," Jack said, setting

his box next to Ash's.

"Tell me you're joking." Ash's jaw dropped

open as he gaped at Jack. He knew there were a lot

of boxes left in the rental truck, but a hundred? "It's

going to take all week."

"Only exaggerating a little." Jack chuckled as

Ash groaned. "Look at it this way: at least you

don't have to unpack it all."

"No kidding." Ash shuddered. He'd always

hated moving. Growing up, their family had

bounced between apartments and houses. The first

few times, it had been an adventure. But the

novelty of moving to a new place got old fast. And

always staying in the same neighborhood didn't

help matters. He had learned to streamline his

belongings. When he'd moved in with Carley and

Jae, he stayed put. He couldn't think of a single

reason to ever move out of the tiny apartment he

shared with his friends. Even now, he could

probably fit everything he owned into a few boxes.

"Remember that one place on Morgan? Man, it

was bad." Jack laughed.

"Nothing like this." Ash spread his arms out. All

the furniture had been pushed against the walls and

boxes were lined up in rows, leaving a path

through the room. "How did you get so much crap

to begin with?"

"Hey, half of this is Mari's. At least we have a

spare bedroom for some of it." Jack raised his

hands in a defensive gesture.

Ash looked at his brother and his mood

softened. "I'm glad she finally agreed to move in

with you. I know she took a lot of convincing."

"Yeah, but it's going to be so worth it." Jack's

eyes glistened a little. He had a small smile on his

face.

"I'm really happy for you, bro."

Jack's attention returned to Ash. "Don't worry.

Someday you'll find yours."

"Who says I want one? I'm having way too much

fun to narrow it down," Ash said with wink.

"Hello?" a voice Ash didn't recognize called

from the front of the apartment. "Marisol?

Jackson?" Marisol's name rolled off the man's

tongue in a deep Spanish accent. Ash ran a hand

down the front of his shirt to smooth out the

wrinkles as he stood up straight.

Jack shot him a look and shook his head before

answering. "Back here, Fee."

Ash watched the door with anticipation. If the

man behind the voice was half as hot as he

sounded, Ash couldn't wait to get a look at him.

Images of a younger version of the man from that

famous beer commercial were running through his

head. Dark eyes, dark beard on a sexy, broad-

shouldered man with a white button-up shirt

billowing in the wind, his long hair blowing

behind him. A romance novel cover hero, come to

life to sweep him away. He closed his eyes to

enjoy the daydream for a minute.

"There you are. This place is huge, Jackson.

Congratulations," Fee said as he walked in the

room and crashed Ash's fantasy. Instead of the

sophisticated Latin lover, a geek strode over to

give Jack a one-armed hug. Tall, with long arms

and an average build, Fee was wearing a loose T-

shirt, blue jeans that bagged in all the wrong

places for his body, and a pair of glasses with

thick black frames. Ash couldn't tell how long his

hair was because it was covered with a faded

zebra-striped bandana. And the accent that was

prevalent on Mari's name was nonexistent in the

rest of the conversation.

"Thanks. Mari just left to pick up another load in

her car."

"Well, where can I get started?" Fee asked after

flicking a glance over Ash. He didn't seem to

register Ash was even standing there. Ash's blood

boiled at the dismissal.

"I'm Ash. And you are?" he asked in an overly

sweet voice. He thrust his hand out, forcing Fee to

either take it or snub him directly. That got the

geek's attention.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't want to interrupt." He took

Ash's hand in a firm grasp but didn't say anything

else. Jack stepped in and slapped a hand on Fee's

shoulder and took over the introduction.

"Ash, this is Felipe Navarro. He works with

Mari. Fee, this is my little brother, Ash," he said

as he ruffled Ash's hair. Ash instinctively flinched

back and tried to dodge Jack's hand. Fee looked at

him with raised eyebrows.

"Ash Byrne? Did you know that your first name

is a product of your last?" One corner of Fee's

mouth pulled up into either a flirtatious grin or a

condescending smirk. Ash couldn't figure out

exactly which, but he assumed it was the latter.

"Fee Navarro? Then why does your shirt say
My

name is Inigo Montoya
?"

Fee opened his mouth to answer, but snapped it

shut again. He looked over at Jack in what seemed

to be disbelief. Jack just chuckled and stepped

forward.

"Never mind, bro," he said, putting an arm

around Ash's shoulders and steering him toward

the door.

"Whatever, man." Ash brushed Jack's arm off

and made his way out to the truck parked in the lot

of the complex. Mari pulled up next to it just as he

got out there. "Hey, your friend's here."

"Fee? Great. I need his help with the router."

"Here, let me get those." Marisol was attempting

to grab her purse, a duffel bag, and an armload of

clothes all at once as she tried to get out of the car.

She leaned forward and got trapped by the seatbelt

she forgot to unbuckle, and Ash caught the pile of

clothes before they fell on the ground. He smiled

and leaned forward to give her a hug. "It's going to

be all right, you know."

"Are you sure?" She looked up at him. Her

pupils were wide, and he could tell she was

doubting the decision to move in with Jack. He

gave her his most reassuring smile.

"I am. He loves you like crazy. And I'll tell you

a secret," he said in a stage whisper. "The rest of

the family is nuts about you, too."

She relaxed at his words and blew out a deep

breath. "Thanks, Ash."

"Now, let's get these inside so I can go through

them." Ash held the clothes up with a flourish and

spun around, but stopped short when he saw Fee

standing in the back of the truck leaning against the

side. He couldn't read the look on Fee's face, but

he decided it didn't matter. Fee would just have to

put up with his ways for an afternoon. He wrapped

an arm around Mari and turned her toward the

apartment. "Maybe I can borrow something from

you."

Mari laughed and tucked the bag under her arm

to wave at Fee. "Thanks for coming by. See you

inside?"

Fee nodded and turned back to pick up more

boxes. Ash didn't stay to watch him working. He

went up to the apartment and straight back to the

big bedroom to hang up the dresses and jackets.

Fee made several trips, carrying two boxes to

Ash's one, before he stopped to help Mari hook up

their computers. He was on the floor, plugging in

some cables when Ash walked by. Ash stopped to

look at the ass sticking out from under the desk.

Fee's pants had slipped a little down his hips, and

his underwear was peeking out over his belt.

Bright blue material with a red elastic waistband

made Ash wonder about Fee's taste. The blue was

solid, but Ash was sure that if he got a look at the

front there would be a Superman logo over his

crotch, just like a pair Ash had back home in his

dresser. He smiled, wondering if Fee might not be

as bad as he thought.

"Got it," Fee called out before crawling

backwards. Ash stepped back and bumped into the

wall, and the box in his arms slipped. The bottles

of alcohol in it spilled out. One of them broke,