The Patterson Girls (33 page)

Was buying him the iPad a mistake? It had come into their bedroom and occupied him during the times that use to be just for them. Or was this just what happened to all marriages after you'd been together for more than a decade? People who were lucky enough to have children probably didn't even notice because they had so much else going on. And of course couples with children always had something to talk about with each other. She sighed, giving herself a headache with all these woeful thoughts, and then reached over to her bedside table to grab her own iPad. She swiped her finger across the screen and the forum she'd been looking at last night appeared. She skimmed the new messages quickly to see if there was anything interesting, anything that might be the key to fixing her plight.

But as usual there was nothing out of the ordinary. Why the hell did she bother reading this stuff? None of her research had done any good. No matter what she found, what she read, it didn't change anything. In all the forums and articles, all the stories of gypsy curses, they kept coming back to the same thing. Going back to the source. But, like in so many of the stories shared, the source of her family curse had died years ago.

She'd stopped sharing the stories with Joe a couple of weeks ago because it only irritated him. No wonder he preferred the iPad to her these days. She was even beginning to irritate herself. Puffing out a frustrated sigh between her teeth, Lucinda dumped the iPad on the floor beside her, deciding to abandon reading all this useless rubbish. The thought of another day like the one she'd had today made her want to scream out loud. What would Joe do if she did? If she opened her mouth as wide as it would go and hollered until her cheeks went red and her throat went dry?

Maybe then he'd ask her how her day was. And she would tell him:
Today was crap, Joe. One of the year five teachers announced her pregnancy and two of the mums from my class were showing off their beautiful newborn babies in the school pick-up line.
Sometimes it felt as if everyone in the world could get pregnant except her. If one more friend or colleague announced their pregnancy, she would not be responsible for her actions.

‘Are you okay?'

She jumped at the sound of Joe's voice and turned to see he'd put the iPad away and was leaning on one elbow, looking up at her as if she were a stranger in his bed. Sometimes she felt that way and she hated it. She hated her life at the moment, she was beginning to hate herself, and if things kept going the way they were then Joe would be next in the firing line. Something had to change.

‘No.' She shook her head and looked down at her husband. ‘I'm not. I want to quit my job.'

‘What?' He pushed up into a sitting position. The expression on his face and the tone of his voice echoed her own surprise. Until she'd said it out loud, she hadn't actually known this was what she wanted, but now it seemed like the obvious solution.

She rubbed her lips together, taking a moment to collect her thoughts before explaining. ‘I'm tired, Joe. I'm tired of all the negative energy I'm carrying around because of the baby thing, and school only makes it worse. Every day I'm dealing with other people's offspring, wondering if I'll ever be able to have any of my own and it feels like a slap in the face. I'm taking out my anger and frustration on the kids. And on you.'

She went quiet a moment and he didn't deny it. ‘You know things aren't the best between us at the moment and I don't want the baby thing to come between us. I want to stay at home, focus on you, on me, on us and our marriage again.'

He frowned a little. ‘But what about the weeks when I'm away? Won't you get bored?'

‘I don't think so.' She shook her head and smiled, reaching out to take his hand. ‘And think of the benefits. I won't be so tired and grumpy when you come home from work now. I won't have any planning to do, so I'll have time to make proper dinners and those chocolate mud cakes you used to love. I know the baby thing has taken over our lives and that is mostly my fault, so I want to do something about it.'

‘Well, if you're sure.' He squeezed her hand back. ‘I thought you loved teaching?'

‘I do. Rather, I did, but I'm not the same person I was when I started and I don't think I'm a good teacher anymore. I don't have the passion, the drive, and if we do have children, I wouldn't want our kids to have a teacher like me, a teacher whose heart isn't one hundred percent in the job.' Sure she felt bad about deserting her class in the middle of the school year, but it wasn't any different to what she'd have to do if she
were
pregnant. And her students would be better off without her—they'd get some young, fresh, first-year-out teacher full of enthusiasm and eager to prove him- or herself. Someone exactly like she'd been ten years ago.

‘Okay then,' Joe said. ‘It's gonna be tight with the mortgage and stuff and I don't know how we'll afford IVF if we need to go down that track, but that's okay if you think it'll make you happier. You know that's all I want, right? It's all I've ever wanted.'

‘Oh, Joe.' Lucinda leaned across and kissed him on the lips, her heart fuller for him than it had been in a long time. Her mood already felt lighter now she'd made this decision. She'd type up her letter of resignation in the morning. It was time to put herself and her marriage first.

Joe's hands slipped behind her back and he pulled her towards him, crushing her breasts against his chest as he deepened the kiss and ran his hands down to cup her buttocks. She felt the hard pressure of his aroused cock against her stomach and rubbed herself against it, trying to encourage herself as much as him. But all she could think was that this wasn't the right time of the month, so what was the point?

He pulled back and then flipped her onto her back, pausing a moment to rip his t-shirt up and over his head. More than ten years after she'd met him he was still the most gorgeous man she knew—all tan and sculpted muscles looming above her. She reached up and skimmed her fingernails down his chest, smiling when he sucked in his breath at her touch. His hands then traced a path to the bottom of her nightie and she wriggled, assisting him as he eased it up over her head.

‘My
bella
Lucinda,' he said, his voice rough as he gazed down at her and then dipped his head to take one nipple in his mouth. His tongue twirled around the bud in a manner that had once driven her insane and she waited for the need and desire to flare up within her. Waited and inwardly prayed. But she just couldn't summon the desperation she'd once had for him.

‘
Yes
, Joe.' She moaned, faking her arousal as he snuck his hand down between her legs and did things to her that used to drive her wild, just wishing he would get it over with so she could go to sleep. Remembering Meg Ryan's famous fake orgasm in
When Harry Met Sally
, Lucinda gave it her everything, panting and squirming and vocalising apparent delight. When she could take it no more, she urged him on top of her and sighed with relief when he plunged deep inside. Joe read this sigh as one of pleasure and as he pumped and then came, she wished to hell it was.

Lovemaking wasn't supposed to be something you got over and done with, just like it wasn't only for the purpose of making babies. She loved this man more than anyone and anything in the world and she wanted to revive that passion again.

She only hoped that quitting work and taking some time out would help.

Chapter Twenty-eight

Charlie couldn't remember her life in Melbourne ever being as hectic as this. She'd done her sixth hula-hoop class at the local tennis club hall this morning and there'd been double the number of attendees as last week. Word spread fast in the country and young mums and pensioners alike appeared to be happy to have a new avenue for fitness.

After class, she'd showered and was just sitting down at the kitchen table to start an assignment for her naturopathy course when Dad came in and she rushed to hide her workbooks under the table.

He didn't appear to notice as he crossed the room and bent to kiss her on the head. ‘Hello, my love.' He straightened and rubbed the side of his forehead. ‘Would you be able to drive down to Port Augusta and collect Mags for me today? I've got a bit of a headache and thought if I have a nap I might be able to get rid of it before tonight.'

‘Are you okay?' Charlie looked up at him, concerned. Tonight, at Mitch's suggestion, they were holding their first theme night—St Patrick's Day at the Meadow Brook Motel—and Charlie hoped she wasn't putting added pressure on Dad. She'd done most of the organisation with a little help from Rob and Mrs Sampson, but still.

‘I'm fine,' he insisted. ‘It's just a headache.'

‘Well, if you're sure. I'd love to go get Aunty Mags. Have you taken any painkillers?'

‘I'll take one now. You're an angel, my girl. Drive safe.'

‘I will.' Charlie smiled at Dad as he turned and headed down the corridor to his bedroom, then she grabbed her books from under the table and took them back to her own room. If she needed to drive to Port Augusta and back, study would have to wait. Everything about the course fascinated her, but finding the time to get her reading and assignments done was proving difficult. There was always something or someone requiring her attention and she rarely got a moment to herself. For that reason it would be nice to take a drive.

The only problem with time alone was that it gave her mind the chance to wander. And, as always, it found its way to Mitch.

Since the barbeque at Macca's place, he'd been busy working and they hadn't seen much of each other. She'd hoped this would help get her errant hormones back in order, but she missed him so much. Painting was boring without him wielding a brush and cracking jokes beside her. But unfortunately, she couldn't afford to pay him for his company and he needed to earn a living. And it wasn't like she was lacking in human interaction. Her dad and Mrs Sampson were always available for a chat, Rob liked to have a natter in the evenings and she'd started meeting Kate and Lisa for a drink at the café after each hula-hoop class, but none of them made her feel like she did when she was with Mitch.

Despite warning bells sounding in her head, she was very much looking forward to seeing him tonight.

Before she knew it, she was pulling up in front of the ‘entertainment centre'. Charlie chuckled at the sight of Aunt Mags waiting out the front, wearing a bright green sundress, green boots, a green hat and … Good Lord, had she spray-painted her hair? Trust Mags to go all out. There was a tattered overnight-sized suitcase (red, not green) at her feet, which she stooped to pick up as Charlie approached.

‘Leave it,' Charlie called, jogging up the ramp and then leaning in for a hug. She picked up the suitcase and stepped back to admire her aunt's outfit. Up close, she noted green shamrock earrings and a matching necklace. ‘You look fabulous.'

‘Well, St Pat's was always one of my fave celebrations. The Irish know how to throw a party.' She glanced at Charlie's denim shorts and purple singlet. ‘I hope you're planning on getting changed before tonight.'

‘Of course.' She held out her arm to assist her aunt and then led her towards the old van. ‘I have a green cocktail dress and appropriate jewellery. And we've gone all out with decorations in the bar. It should be a great night.'

‘I have no doubt. I recall some of the parties your mum and dad used to throw when we were young. Before your time of course, although lots of the locals who are still around used to come. Mitch's dad was always in attendance.'

‘Really?' Charlie's heart did a little flip at the mention of Mitch but she managed to keep the expression on her face passive. The last thing she needed was Mags getting wind of her strange feelings. Aunt Mags would pester and question her until she admitted something she didn't want to admit.

‘Yes. Mitch's mum and Annette were good friends, but after Therese left, Rick stopped coming around.'

‘Well, he's coming tonight,' Charlie said, keeping her voice light as she assisted Mags into the passenger seat and then stowed her suitcase in the back of the van.

‘Oh?'

Charlie slid into the driver's seat. ‘Yes, Mitch gets depressed about his dad being stuck in care and him not being able to help much, so I suggested he break him out for a bit of fun.'

‘What a good idea.' Mags made a tsk noise with her tongue. ‘Ghastly disease he's got, especially for someone who was always such a strong, strapping thing. I had a bit of a crush on him myself but even after his wife left, he never looked twice at me.'

Charlie bit her lower lip to stop from grinning as she started the van and eased out onto the road. She imagined most men would find Aunt Mags far too overpowering. ‘More fool him.'

‘Speaking of men,' began Aunt Mags, and Charlie didn't like where this could be going, ‘how are you finding being back in Meadow Brook? I hope moving home isn't cramping your style, if you know what I mean.'

Charlie's eyes boggled and she gripped the steering wheel. Of course she knew what Mags meant but she didn't want to discuss her non-existent love-life with anyone. ‘I didn't have much style to cramp, but I'm loving being back. I'm enjoying working at the motel, doing the renovations, reconnecting with people I went to school with and getting Dad to myself for a bit.'

Aunt Mags chuckled. ‘Yes, I can understand that. Your sisters can be a little domineering.'

‘That's one word for it.' As much as she loved her sisters, Charlie could never quite be herself around them, but being back in Meadow Brook on her own was more fun and rewarding than she had expected.

‘What will you do with yourself when the motel sells?' Mags asked.

Charlie frowned. ‘Go back to Melbourne, I guess.' Although truth be told, she'd been wondering lately about maybe staying on in Meadow Brook. The reasons she'd left in the first place were no longer there and she'd made some good friends in a short time. And then there was Mitch.