The Patterson Girls (41 page)

‘When?'

He named a weekend four weeks away, the next time he'd be home from work. An alarm bell rang in Lucinda's head and she did a quick mental calculation, confirming what she already suspected.

‘You can't go that weekend.'

Joe frowned. ‘We haven't got anything on, have we?'

‘That will be the right time of the month.' She tried to control her irritation.

Joe rolled his eyes and gripped the steering wheel. ‘Luce, we can't let this rule our lives. I'm not going to tell Matt and the boys I can't go fishing because my wife will be ovulating that weekend.'

She blinked.
Why not?
It sounded perfectly reasonable to her. ‘How far away will you be? Maybe you can come home in the evenings.'

‘No way.' Joe sounded angry now. ‘I'm not coming home to
service
you. It's one weekend and I'm going.'

‘That's it? No discussion? Sometimes I really don't think you care at all about having children.'

‘And sometimes I don't think you care about anything else,' he snapped, banging his fist on the steering wheel. The horn sounded, an echo of his fury.

She blinked, fighting back tears. He'd only get more annoyed if she cried.

‘I can't live like this, Lucinda.'

‘What are you saying?'

He sighed angrily and ran a hand through his hair, glaring at her as if she were the enemy. ‘I'm trying damn hard to be patient. I know how much this fertility thing is upsetting you. I planned this weekend for us, to give you a break and to show you just how much I love you, but it's not enough for you. Is it? I'm not enough, am I?'

She wanted to say that he was, but she couldn't bring herself to lie. She couldn't live like this anymore either, not unless they were one hundred percent on the same page. No matter what he said, he
didn't
understand how much this meant to her. ‘I want it to be,' she whispered.

She glanced across at Joe. He looked broken. She'd done that. The invisible barricades holding back her tears ruptured and they flowed freely down her face. For the first time in their marriage, he didn't reach over and pull her against him. He didn't stroke her hair, whisper sweet nothings and then kiss away each teardrop one by one. He was less than a ruler's width away from her but she'd never felt so disconnected. So distant.

They sat in silence for a few long minutes, the car idling, both of them staring out at the ocean ahead. The beautiful view and the warm autumn weather seemed to be in direct opposition to the feelings inside her.

Joe looked at her again and shook his head, his eyes full of defeat. ‘You know what I want? I want the Lucinda I fell in love with to come back. When you look at me, I want you to see more than a potential sperm donor. I want you to want me,
me
,' he roared. ‘You don't want to have sex anymore unless it's the right time of the month and even when we do you go on about the curse and how it probably won't do any good anyway. That's not a marriage, Lucinda.'

‘What are you saying?'

‘See? You can't even deny it.' He made a scoffing noise. ‘I dunno, maybe you should go home for a bit. Maybe you can help your dad and Charlie at the motel.'

‘What?' Her heart cramped. ‘Are you asking for a divorce?'

‘I'm asking you to take some time away from me. To work out your feelings, to work out what really matters, because I can't take much more of this.'

She felt like he'd kicked her in the gut. But maybe he was right. Maybe she did need to get away—not just from work but from everything. Still it broke her heart that he was the one asking, that he couldn't put himself in her shoes and understand.

At least if she went home to Meadow Brook she could be some use. And working at the motel she wouldn't be surrounded by children, constantly reminded her of her barren state like she was at school.

‘If you think it'll help,' she whispered.

‘I don't know what will help. I still want to make this work, Lucinda, but if this goes on, I'm scared my anger will be stronger than any other feelings I have for you.'

Ouch
. She simply nodded. His words hurt so much she found it impossible to speak.

Joe put the sports car into drive. Dinner didn't happen that night, nor did the drive-in at Busselton. They went back to the resort, collected their things and drove to Perth in absolute silence.

That evening, Lucinda packed her bags.

Chapter Thirty-four

Charlie's hand dived into the popcorn bowl, brushing against Mitch's as he did the same thing. Her heart stilled and a delicious fluttery feeling shot down her spine at the accidental connection, but he quickly pulled his hand back.

‘Sorry,' he muttered, his gaze trained on the screen.

Inwardly Charlie sighed.

It was just another Sunday night. Dad and Mrs Sampson were manning the bar, no doubt talking caravan plans, and Mitch had come over to watch a few episodes of
Breaking Bad
, something that had become a ritual these past few weeks. Other nights when he came over, they'd head into one of the rooms to paint, but Sunday night was dedicated relaxation time. Lisa and Kate had started calling them an unofficial item because they hung out like an old married couple, but Mitch seemed oblivious to this.

While Charlie continued to struggle with her growing attraction to her best friend, he went on as if nothing had changed. He sent her photos of funny things he saw when he was on the road and often enquired how her study was progressing. It was going well. She could only find a few hours a week to study, so during that time she worked hard. Ironically, it was only when she lost herself in her naturopathy books that she managed to get him out of her head. Mitch occasionally referred to her going back to Melbourne, saying that he'd make more of an effort to visit her than he'd done in the past. But despite ample opportunities during the time they spent alone, he'd never offered any indication that he wanted anything more than friendship between them.

Unrequited love sucked.

‘Do you want a drink?' Charlie asked, shoving the popcorn bowl towards him as she pushed herself up off the couch. She needed a few moments not in such close proximity to the object of her affection. Before he could reply, the front door to the house flew open and a gust of cool, April evening air shot inside.

Both of them looked to the door, shocked to see Lucinda standing there, a suitcase at her feet.

‘Hello,' she said, looking from Charlie to Mitch as if they'd been expecting her. ‘Is the kettle on?'

Charlie looked down at Mitch. He raised a questioning eyebrow and she shrugged one shoulder before turning to her sister. ‘I can put it on.'

Questions crowded her mind: What the hell was Lucinda doing turning up unannounced on a Sunday night? She wanted to ask how she'd gotten here, how long she planned to stay, why she was on her own—but the look on Lucinda's face told her now was not the time for an interrogation.

‘Good. I'll go dump my things.' Lucinda grabbed the handle of her suitcase and began dragging it inside, walking past Charlie and Mitch and continuing down the corridor to the spare bedroom.

‘You didn't mention she was coming home,' Mitch said, slight accusation in his tone.

‘You found out the same moment I did,' she hissed and then quickly lowered her voice. ‘I wonder if this is just a holiday or if she's here to stay?' She shook her head at this last thought. ‘No, it must just be a visit. She wouldn't leave Joe, would she?'

Mitch shrugged. ‘I don't know, but Lady Muck wants the kettle on, so we'd better hop to it.'

Stifling a smile at Mitch's words but still in shock, Charlie nodded and started towards the kitchen. She'd just filled the kettle and was locating three mugs when Lucinda emerged again and slumped into a chair at the table.

‘Actually, shall we have wine instead?'

A look of discomfort crossed Mitch's face and Charlie read his mind: wine meant girly talk. ‘You go ahead, I was leaving anyway,' he lied. ‘I guess I'll see you around, Lucinda.'

Charlie didn't want him to leave but before she could say so, Lucinda spoke. ‘Yes, you will. I'm moving back home. You may as well know; Joe and I are taking a break and as I'd already quit my job, I thought I could make myself useful here. I guess you can go back to Melbourne.' Lucinda smiled as if delivering Charlie the news that she'd just won Lotto or something; she obviously thought she was doing her a favour, but Charlie's chest constricted at the declaration.

She didn't want to go back to Melbourne.

‘I'm sorry to hear that, Lucinda. I hope you and Joe can work it out. Still, I'll leave you lovely ladies to catch up.' Mitch, already retreating, spoke easily but Charlie found she could barely breathe. What exactly did Lucinda mean by ‘break'? Her head spinning, she yanked open the fridge, snatched a bottle of white wine and grabbed two glasses.

‘Bye,' she managed to call out as she unscrewed the lid and filled the glasses. Without even passing Lucinda her drink, Charlie lifted her glass and gulped a few mouthfuls.

Lucinda raised her eyebrows. ‘Has living in the motel turned you into an alcoholic?'

‘No,' she spat. ‘You coming home is just a shock, that's all.'

Lucinda's eyes widened as if a light bulb had lit up inside her head. ‘Oh, did I interrupt something between you and Mitch?'

‘No,' she said again, disappointment filling her heart at this admission. ‘Don't be silly. I …' How could she explain to Lucinda how things were when she didn't really understand them herself? ‘It's just I've been working so hard with the redecoration and I thought I'd have at least a little longer to get things in order.'

‘I can't wait to see what you've done. The Facebook photos looked awesome. I'm not that great with a paintbrush but I'll do my best to continue what you've started.'

Knowing Lucinda meant well, Charlie tried to smile but it didn't quite work out that way. She didn't want anyone else finishing her special project. And she didn't want to leave Meadow Brook. In the last few months, she'd become part of the community—she ran her hula-hooping classes and had made friends outside of the motel. If she left, she'd miss Lisa and Kate more than she'd missed anyone in Melbourne. And she'd miss Mitch too. Again her heart tightened.

As if sensing her hesitation, Lucinda said, ‘I thought you'd jump at the chance to go back to Melbourne?'

But now Charlie realised leaving Melbourne had never been a hardship. Her reluctance had been much more about her sisters expecting her to do so, rather than asking her. And Lucinda's return felt like deja vu. She was fed up with other people calling the shots in her life.

‘I'm not sure,' she said, taking another sip of wine. ‘I'm quite enjoying myself here.'

‘Oh.' Lucinda looked taken aback. ‘Well, that's great. We can work together, helping Dad. You don't mind, do you?'

It was the first time Charlie could ever recall her sister sounding uncertain about something and her heart swelled with concern as she remembered the reason for Lucinda's sudden return. ‘Of course I don't mind. It'll be fun working together.'

But maybe she should leave, take a break while she had the chance. Was her renewed affection for this town more down to Mitch than anything else? Would staying put and allowing her feelings to grow be like watering a weed? Was Lucinda turning up a sign? An omen?

She could finish the room they were currently working on and then return to Melbourne, get on with the life she'd been happy leading until Dad's health had brought her back to Meadow Brook. Dave had promised her a job at the café whenever she returned and she could always camp on his couch while she looked for a new place to rent. He was cool like that, very easygoing and usually had at least one backpacker living with him. But then again, if she hung around, maybe Mitch would eventually catch on to the fact that they were meant to be together.

Or maybe she was a sad, lovesick girl clutching at straws.

‘So, what's going on with you and Joe?' she asked. Talking about her sister's marriage had to be better than going insane with the thoughts churning through her own head. Besides, the idea of Joe and Lucinda splitting up broke her heart almost as much as the thought of Mitch never seeing her as more than a friend. Some things in life were meant to be and, like Mum and Dad, she'd always thought Joe and Lucinda were one of those unshakeable partnerships.

Lucinda let out a big sigh and shrugged her shoulders. ‘I don't know. Things haven't been great for a while and Joe thinks we need some time apart.' She squeezed her lips together as if trying not to cry.

Charlie glanced towards the motel, considering going and getting Mrs Sampson for backup. She had life experience and would be much better at consoling Lucinda. But instead, she reached over to take her big sister's hand, silently telling her it was okay to be upset. ‘I'm sorry.'

At these two words, Lucinda's lower lip quivered and within seconds tears were spilling down her cheeks. Charlie pushed their wine glasses out of the way and then wrapped her arms around her sister, holding her in a way she never had before. Lucinda had always been the mother hen, the strong, no-nonsense one who looked after everyone else. Charlie racked her brain for what to do besides pat her back and let her sob. She felt so helpless.

‘I'm a mess,' Lucinda sniffed after a few minutes, finally pulling back and wiping her eyes with the bottom of her t-shirt.

‘No you're not,' Charlie said. ‘Hell, anyone in your situation would be falling apart. I wish there was something I could say to make it better. Do you want to talk about it? Or would you rather we just get drunk?'

A flicker of a smile appeared on Lucinda's face. ‘I thought that was Abigail and Madeleine's answer to everything.'