The Perfect Emotion (44 page)

“And you’re a part of him. Period,” she says with finality.

“Thanks,” I say and throw my arms around her to hug her closely.  I’d be lost without being able to openly confide in Maggie.  She never judges just steers me in the right direction.  This friendship is like a lifeline I never knew even existed. 

With only a couple more minutes to spare I twist a light scarf around my neck before I wiggle into my lightweight coat. “Are you excited to see Marco?”

She exhales and then her head falls back. “Yes and no. I’m nervous and anxious too. It’s just complicated and my brother still doesn’t know. I don’t want to screw this up either… I don’t think my heart could survive.”

“God, I get that!” I chime in knowing Reed could destroy what’s left of my heart. “But you have to take the chance, you’d always be wondering. I still can’t believe you never told me about this crush… that you actually let me go on a date with him!”

“Okay, okay, don’t remind me!”  We both cringe a little and then laugh because things could have turned out so differently. 

We decide to watch
Knocked Up
when I get back tonight and eat pizza, maybe even find some beer.  Walking down the hall I bump into Derek leaving Kelly’s dorm.  He asks me to hang out because Kelly has a test tomorrow that she’ll be studying for all night.  That girl can pull an all night-er like nobody else, not me I still need my sleep.  I invite him to come to our room after my class and he says that he’ll bring beer.

Just as I head out the doors into the cool spring air I hear my phone beep with a text.

Thinking of u.
  Let me know when u
get
back from class.  Reed 

Ok. 
Going to watch movie with Mags and Derek.
  Katherine

Tell D to keep his hands to himself ;). Reed

Stop. I’ll b thinking of u, winker. Katherine

Good and I only wink at u ;). Reed

Giggling like a schoolgirl I practically skip to class. 

The meeting with my dad and Mr. Weston goes longer than I would like it to.  Lucky for me Jessica never shows up.  Being at the mercy of my dad’s help never bodes well for me.  Neither does spending any extra time in his presence.  He forgets that he has dark secrets too and that I know about them.  His tie to Weston is more than just a business partnership; it’s personal.  He needs Weston like a lifeline.  Granted, I’m in a predicament needing Weston’s help, but I’m nothing like my father. 

We wrap up with a game plan going forward and to clear my name.  I start to pull on my coat as Weston puts his suit coat back on.  He moves closer to me standing a couple inches shorter than me, but stockier in build. 

“Grant, you need to talk to Jessica and work out these difference,” he speaks in a low gruff tone, but loud enough for my father to hear.  I shift my stance backwards aware that I look pissed off.  Sliding my tongue over my teeth I inhale deeply.  “Just talk with her.  Listen, you need my help and I’ll get you out of this, but I’m asking for very little in return.”  His eyes glaze over me with intensity and fire then make their way over to my father. 

“Gotcha,” is all I offer up.  I move around Weston to make my way out of my father’s office, but of course my father stops me mid-fleeing. 

He follows me out into the hallway barking out, “Grant Reed Harper.”  Stopping mid-stride I turn around feeling that familiar force pulling at me, rising in me and tearing up my insides.  I hate that I despise this man.  I hate the way he can drive a wedge between us so deep that all I can see is red.  Almost every time we have a confrontation thoughts of how he treated my mom come rushing in like a whirlwind in my mind. 

“Susan, you look like a God damn whore,” he growled in her face.  She pushed me behind her, but I refused to stay hidden.  Mom’s face had a light dusting of make-up with a gloss emphasizing her lips.  She didn’t usually wear make-up, but she had plans to go out tonight since I was staying with my dad for the weekend.  I dreaded going though, other than I usually got to hang out with my older sisters. 

“Reed, sweetie, go ahead and grab your
things,” she said as she gestured for me to walk away.  Feeling a fire building in my chest I left, but didn’t waste time to get back.  It had already been a year since my mother left him, but still he reminded her what a mess she was and that it was the biggest m
istake of her life. Hearing him
call her names only drove me away though.  I had
come
flying down the stairs making my way back into the foyer to see him practically spitting in her face with fury.  He wasn’t yelling, but I could hear the vengeance in his tone across the room.  Typically, I had stayed quiet during these encounters, but each time I witnessed him degrading her it became more and more difficult to restrain myself.

“Slut,” muttered from his lips and the rage boiled over in me. I approached the room wanting to rip him from her space, but instead did something I had never done.

“Fuck off!”

I never did go stay with him that weekend.  From that point on I became a thorn in his side like never before.  I caused all sorts of trouble… fighting, drinking and doing drugs.  I did everything in my power to keep the focus off of her and on me.  Even then I knew how important appearances were to him. 

It’s hard though as I stare at him in the large expanse of the same hallway I remember catching him with a redhead as a kid.  Your mind can’t reconcile that man, the one he is still today with the one who camped in the backyard with you at six years old.  Or the one who held the back of your bike in the driveway as you peddled…  Or the one who draped a large diamond necklace around your mom for her birthday one year.  Those two different men don’t ever equal the same man. 

“What?” I ask with a bit of exasperation and contention laced in there.

“Grant, you can’t have this stuff on your record.  You’ve got law school and then this practice.  You’ll be looked at through a microscope.”  His tone is a little gentler than moments ago, but still stern.

“I know this, I don’t need the lecture.”

“You do and I will give it any damn time I feel it’s necessary.  Don’t be foolish with some girl who’s probably after your money.  Nothing, but trouble I’m telling you.”  I start to laugh because he literally has no clue what he’s talking about.  That’s what he would say about my mom and still does, that she was after his money.  What he doesn’t get is I’d gladly give Kate my money, every last cent.  He thinks that just because he is driven by the money that we all are or should be.  That’s the constant threat he looms over my head all the time.  To be honest, the thought of walking away from it all is closer than he realizes. 

“You’re giving advice about something you know nothing about… so just don’t.”  I start to pick up my pace to head towards the front doors, but turn back.  “Listen, I’ll appease you guys and respond to Jessica, but don’t… don’t ever put down Kate again.  She’s off limits.”  Knowing he’ll want to get the last word in like always I throw my hands in my pockets and book it out of there.  Quickly I stride out the front door hearing a muffled version of his voice echoing, but unable to make out what he says.  

I drive faster than I should back to campus.  The urge to call or text Kate is like an addict needing his next fix.  I don’t though because it’s selfish of me to want to take her away and bury myself in her.  She told me she has plans and I’m trying my hardest to not interfere with her making her own decisions.  Even though I’d love nothing more than to have her hands roam my body, making me forget.  Her surrendering to my need to protect her is what I crave most. 

After parking my car in the garage I walk across campus wishing I’d catch Kate walking back from her class, but I don’t see her.  As I reach the house the sight of a petite girl curled on the porch steps sits waiting for me.  Dragging my feet forward with a determined force I steady my breathing and the urgency to do something I know I shouldn’t.  Biting the inside of my cheek and tightly pressing my eyes closed I weigh out my options while Mr. Weston’s voice funnels through my ears. 
Fuck
.

“Hi Jess,” I gravely say unable to turn her away.

“Re-Reed, I had nowhere to go,” I see her eyes glazed over with a look I’ve seen long ago. “I screwed up again.” I lock my jaw not wanting to appease her, not wanting to comfort her in anyway, but in the end I know what needs to be done.

“Are you high?” I ask pretending to care.

“Y-yes.”

I balance on the back of my heels preferring to run the other direction, but force myself to say the words I’d swore I’d never say again. “Well, come on in…” She scrambles to her feet trailing behind me grabbing the top of my arm once we cross through looking at me with tears welling up in her eyes.

C
HAPTER 30

Eager to get back to hang out with Maggie and Derek it dawns on me how nice it is that I can hang out with my friends and not feel guilty.  Although, I definitely feel an ache in my chest at the thought of not seeing Reed tonight I’m enjoying this new kind of relationship where there is trust.  Curiously I wonder what his meetings with his dad are about, but more than anything the feeling that Jessica will be there gnaws at me. 

The moon is almost full, but not quite as it shines brightly in the clear night sky.  I zip up my jacket and begin to walk across campus.  As I walk I text Reed telling him my class is over and I’m headed back to the dorm.  Rounding the back corner of the building I hear a voice that sends a shiver through me from my spine down to the tips of my toes.  I stop in my tracks straightening up, grabbing my bag tightly.  The dark shadow of the building and confines between the dumpster only add to the intense surge of energy rushing to my head.  Swallowing hard and deep I glance at my phone to see no response from Reed and slip it in my pocket.  I turn around to see a recognizable stature standing just a few steps from me.  Green and gold-flecked eyes scream into mine with raw, coarse and hard emotions.  The fading of blue, yellow, green and even black across his face catch me off guard along with the strip across his nose.  Taking a step back towards the brick of the building Kyle takes a step closer. 

“Kyle,” rushes past my lips like smoke from a burning building. Forcing myself to get my bearings and face him I stand up taller. “You shouldn’t be here.”

He huffs out a ragged breath and rocks on his feet and then runs his hands through his hair latching them around the back of his neck. I’ve seen him do this same gesture numerous times before and usually it causes me anxiety and fear, but now I don’t quite feel those things. Squaring my shoulders I take a step towards him causing him to back up. “You sent him after me,” he growls out through his clenched teeth.