The Perfect Husband (17 page)

Mason shook his head in bewilderment. “Why?
Why would he react like that? It’s not like he didn’t know you were
having a baby.”

She shrugged sadly. “Who knows? I think in
his warped mind he thought I’d transferred my love for him to the
baby. That he wouldn’t get his fair share. That somehow he’d miss
out. He was jealous of our son!”

She shook her head slowly. “I couldn’t
understand it. I still can’t understand it. When Sophie came along,
things got even worse. He became increasingly depressed and hostile
and constantly questioned my love. He started accusing me of
looking at other men and even of having an affair.”

She laughed without humor. “The alleged
co-conspirator was the father of a child in Ben’s daycare class. It
was so far from the truth, the very thought Nigel would say those
things left me bewildered, hurt and confused.

“His insecurities didn’t end there. I
remember making a comment one night while we were watching TV about
a Hollywood actor and how much I wanted to see his new movie. It
was an innocent remark and nothing was made of it at the time. That
night, as we were making love, he pulled away right before he
climaxed. He said he’d teach me to have fantasies about other men
and that he’d finish it off himself. I remember rolling over and
crying myself to sleep.”

Mason’s frown was fierce and she could see
he was trying hard to understand. “Why did you let him get away
with it, even the first time?”

She shook her head sadly. “You were the one
who said how these kind of men seem to know instinctively how to
manipulate. It’s true. They almost brainwash you, breaking you down
to control your thoughts, your actions, your every waking move.

“You get to the point where you believe
their comments and when they degrade you, you think you deserve it.
For so long, I made excuses for his behavior: He was tired;
stressed at work; dealing with a fussy baby. Or it was my fault:
The dinner was later than usual; I’d forgotten to put on makeup and
tidy myself up before he got home.

“There was always a reason for his
mistreatment and of course, he’d be so apologetic afterwards,
especially in the early days. He’d make it up to me with flowers,
expensive gifts and lavish promises—whatever it took to make me
believe he’d do better if I just gave him another chance and didn’t
try his patience.

“Of course, his remorse never lasted long
and soon the pattern would repeat itself, over and over again. He’d
pick fights for any and no reason. In his mind, he was always
right, and until I agreed with him, he’d lecture me for hours.

“Once I left a light on in the garage. In
the early hours of the morning, he woke me and made me stumble
downstairs in the dark to turn it off. I wasn’t allowed to switch
on another light. According to Nigel, I’d already wasted enough
electricity. An angry lecture followed with the question:

‘
Why did you leave it on? Why?’

“For two hours he grilled me and I had to
work that morning. It was always like that. A careless mistake took
on the quality of a major crime followed by an inquisition.”

She sighed. “In recent months, I haven’t
even been able to figure out what might or might not trigger him.
I’ve been walking on eggshells, bending over backwards to please
him and still it hasn’t been enough.”

“What about the kids? How have they coped
through all of this?”

She closed her eyes. It was a long moment
later that she found the strength to open them.

“I used to think they were oblivious,” she
said quietly. “I’d tell myself they were too young to have any
inkling about the kind of life we led, but I was kidding myself.
Not so much with Sophie, but Ben was a lot more aware than I knew.
It breaks my heart that they’re growing up in such an environment.
It’s one of the reasons I couldn’t go on. And then with the knife
and the pointed threats and the sleeping tablets…”

Mason nodded, his expression solemn. “You
told me.”

“Yes. What I didn’t tell you was when I
arrived home that night before I left, the tablets were missing.
He’d moved them from the bathroom cabinet. Perhaps he was worried
I’d find them and draw the very conclusion I did.”

“You did the right thing by leaving, Belle.
There could be no good reason for Diazepam in your house when
neither you nor Nigel need it.”

To have her suspicions confirmed by someone
else was suddenly terrifying. The knowledge that Nigel was more
than likely making plans to kill her… She couldn’t even finish the
thought. Her body began to tremble and despite her best intentions,
she couldn’t help but focus on what would have happened to her
children if he’d carried through with it.

As if sensing how close she was to losing
control, Mason moved closer to her on the couch. His thigh brushed
hers and involuntarily, she tensed. But this time, with a conscious
effort, she forced herself not to shy away.

This was Mason. Wonderful, kind, thoughtful,
caring Mason. He was nothing like her husband. It wasn’t fair to
the man beside her to react as if he were the same.

“It’s all right to be frightened, Belle.
You’ve been through more than anyone ever should. I wish I’d
knocked him out when I had the chance. What he did to you, and
still does to you… It makes my blood boil. Selfish, narcissistic
and downright brutal, he’s a bully of the highest order. I’m only
grateful you got out when you did.”

“It was all about the fight for him,” she
continued quietly, somehow seeing things more and more clearly the
longer she was away from Nigel and the way they’d lived their
lives.

“It’s as if the fighting fueled him. The
outcome didn’t matter because things were never resolved. Examples
of what he called my “misdeeds” kept cropping up over and over
again. But first and foremost, it was about the fight. He loved the
fight. I see that now.”

“I’ve read somewhere it’s always that way
with abusive men,” Mason added in a tone that was just as soft.
“The fight’s like some kind of addictive drug. It gets them high,
the ultimate adrenaline rush. The more drama the better.”

“That’s exactly how it was,” she said. “It’s
strange how even a few days ago, I couldn’t see that.”

“You’ve been living with it every day for a
very long time. I’m sure there were a lot of days you blocked out
everything other than what you needed in order to survive, to get
through another day. You had two young children to see to. They
became your priority. It’s a natural instinct to care for your
children at your own expense. You’re not the first mom who’s
reacted that way.”

Fresh tears filled her eyes and slid slowly
down her cheeks. “You’re right,” she cried. “There were many days
when I’d be feeding or bathing or changing the kids and all I could
focus on was the ticking of the clock. The steady, rhythmic ticking
somehow soothed me. I knew that with every tick that went by, the
day was closer to its end and I’d never have to live that day
again.”

Her voice cracked with emotion and she was
overcome with an overwhelming sense of loss. She thought of all the
days and years she’d spent living in a thick fog of apathy and
fear. She’d done what she had to do to make it bearable, but it
should never have gone on for so long, and she would never get
those moments back, to live them the way they should have been.

“I should have left him years ago,” she
gasped in between the tears. “I should never have let him reduce me
to such a weak and spineless mess. I let him do that to me! How
will my children see me? Will they ever forgive me? How will I
forgive myself?”

Without conscious thought, she threw herself
against the man beside her and he enfolded her in his arms. She
thought she was all cried out, but there seemed no end to her
tears.

She took comfort in the warmth and solid
strength of him. As her hot tears soaked his shirt all the way
through, he touched her hair with gentle strokes and murmured words
of reassurance.

“
Shh
, Belle; don’t talk like that. It
wasn’t your fault. One day your kids will be old enough to
understand how strong and brave you were, how you did everything
you could to protect them. You’ve taken the hardest step of
all—you’ve walked out on him. He’ll be mad as hell that you’ve
bested him, but you’ve won, Belle. You’ve
won
.”

She lifted her head and stared at him,
blinking through her tears. “I don’t feel triumphant and I’m filled
with so much regret. But really? You really think so?”

He leaned forward and pressed a decisive
kiss against her lips. “I know so.”

As if only just becoming aware of what he’d
done, Mason stilled. A moment later, his eyes darkened with an
emotion so raw it snatched her breath away. His gaze intensified
and she found it impossible to look away. Her heart beat hard
against the walls of her chest.

Slowly, cautiously, his head came down
again. This time, the kiss was as light as a feather. His lips
glanced off hers and left her yearning for more. Intimacy with
Nigel had become a contest of wills, just another way for him to
exert his dominance. The pleasure had disappeared long ago and had
left behind apprehension, fear and disgust.

But with Mason, it was different. She’d
never felt safer than she did in his arms. Secure, protected,
cherished…
loved
. She scarcely recognized the feelings he
stirred deep inside her, but there was no denying she wanted more.
She
needed
more.

A rush of desire surged through her that she
didn’t want to ignore. She knew enough about rebound sex to know
this was probably it, but she was beyond caring.

Like a match igniting a pool of gasoline,
with that thought in mind, she dragged his mouth back to hers.
Frantically, she kissed him. She couldn’t get enough. He tasted of
mint and coffee and smelled like the hospital.

All that mattered was getting closer to him,
as close as she could get. To lose herself and her problems in
someone who was kind and decent and good. Oh, she wanted that so
badly. She broke off the kiss with a gasp and began to tear at his
clothes.

“Belle, sweetheart, slow down. Take it
easy.”

She frowned, suddenly uncertain of his
feelings. “You don’t want to?”

“Oh, honey, you don’t know how badly I want
to, but not until I know it’s what you really want and need, too.
You’ve been through so much lately, it’s natural to want to
reaffirm your existence with wild, uninhibited sex, but I’ve waited
too long for this moment to rush into it without knowing you won’t
regret it later on.”

Her breath still came fast, despite her
attempts to slow it down. Mason’s words echoed through her head and
when she considered what he’d said she admired his restraint. It
was classic Mason—putting someone else’s welfare ahead of his
own—and she couldn’t help but appreciate him for it.

The truth was, she wanted to forget every
minute of her past by consuming and becoming consumed by Mason,
even for just a little while, but wanting to be close to him wasn’t
just about that.

It was about Mason and his goodness and his
sexy, open smile. It was funny how she’d never really noticed that
about him before. Certainly not back in high school.

She reached out and traced the soft fullness
of his lips and was gratified when he sucked in a breath and
tensed. He stared at her, as if uncertain of her intentions.

“I want to make love with you, Mason, and I
promise, I won’t regret it. Not now, not ever. How could I? You’re
so beautiful, inside and out. You make me feel worthy and I haven’t
felt like that in a long, long time.”

His gaze flared with emotion and desire
glinted in his eyes. He took her in his arms and kissed her long
and deep. She kissed him back with just as much passion. Their
tongues tangled and danced in their mouths.

It was everything it should have been and it
left her wanting more. As if he could read her mind, Mason bent and
put one of his arms beneath her knees. With the other arm around
her shoulders, he stood and made his way down the hall.

In some distant part of her mind, she
remembered her children. As they passed the spare room, she turned
her head and was relieved to see that both of them were still
sleeping. With her hands behind Mason’s neck, she pulled down his
head for another soul-searing kiss and was gratified by his eager
response. A moment later, he lowered her onto his bed.

After closing the door behind them, he
joined her and immediately drew her back into his arms. He pressed
desperate kisses against her eyes, her nose; her lips. It was as if
he couldn’t get enough and she felt exactly the same way.

Reaching up, she worked on his tie and when
it was loose, went to work on his shirt buttons. Within moments,
he’d pulled both items off and had tossed them to the floor. His
hands went around the back of her short cotton sundress and
sensuously and slowly, he slid the zipper down.

He pulled the dress off her shoulders and
then unclipped her bra. Pulling away, she took it off and shimmied
the dress down her hips. Her clothing joined his on the floor.

She came back to him and pressed up close
against him, gasping at the feel of their naked skin touching.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his
gaze full of wonder.

Isobel kissed her way across his chest,
taking time to discover his nipples. A light scattering of dark
hair tickled her nose. Her fingers walked down his taut belly and
came to a halt at the belt in his trousers.

Undeterred, she worked on the buckle and
eventually the belt came loose. The button was next, followed by
his zipper. Within moments, it was down. He lifted his hips to
assist her and she tugged at his trousers until they were well
below his knees.

He kicked them off the rest of the way and
then cursed softly when they got caught on his boots. Impatiently,
he sat up and dealt with those too. Isobel stifled a grin. When he
lay down next to her, he wore only his underwear.