The Perfect Son (35 page)
Authors: Barbara Claypole White
FIVE YEARS LATER
Unseasonable May heat shimmered above the sidewalk and carried the scent of wild honeysuckle through the pines. Two cardinals whistled a duet; a mockingbird joined in. Ella watched, seeing but unseen: a whisper of light, a memory glimpsed from the corner of the eye.
It’s almost time.
Gown flying behind him, Harry rushed from Kenan Stadium towing a petite blonde, a southern belle with a beautiful smile.
“Grad school, here I come!” he called to Max.
Harry stopped and rubbed his arm. He had sensed her echo as he had done many times in the last five years. Today was especially hard for him. Mother’s Day always was.
Max understood. “Missing her, dude?”
“Yeah,” Harry said. “But I’m good. Wow!” He looked up into the Carolina-blue sky. “A stunning day to start the rest of my life!”
It’s almost time.
A girl tapped Max on the arm. “Can I get your autograph?” She giggled.
Even with the dark glasses, Max couldn’t disguise his fame—the full sleeves of song lyric tattoos were such giveaways. The girl blushed and ran off, clutching a signed scrap of paper.
Sammie, Max’s guest at the commencement ceremony, stepped forward to shake hands with Harry’s girlfriend. Max watched, protective as ever.
Tell her, Max; tell Harry. Tell both of them how you’ve felt since the first day you saw Sammie Owen, the prettiest girl in tenth grade—moments after your best friend noticed her.
Max had given up so much for Harry, and no one knew.
Eudora appeared, wearing a huge hat covered in fake flowers. She pushed Ella’s dad in a wheelchair. It hadn’t been easy for him to make the journey from Florida, but he had been determined. Harry, a Morehead-Cain Scholar, had graduated from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill summa cum laude. Harry’s granddad told anyone who would listen it was the happiest day of his life.
Finally, Felix and Katherine joined the group. They ambled, hands entwined, the Carolina sun sparkling off the new diamond on her fourth finger. Of all of them, Katherine’s journey through grief had been the hardest. In the end, it had been Felix who’d kept her safe. Felix and his savior complex. There had been a small rift between them when Katherine started writing the memoir of her friendship with Ella, but after it catapulted to the bestseller lists, the celebration dinner had led to something else.
Everything was as it should be; a new story was about to begin.
Ella blew a breath of air at Harry’s cheek; he reached up and touched his face. Smiled.
It’s time.
The column of white light opened ahead.
I’m ready to let go.
Ella walked into her mother’s embrace.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Nothing about my third novel was easy, and without my agent, Nalini Akolekar, it might have become homeless. Nalini believed in me from day one, even though our first interaction came after I screwed up an email attachment. I will be forever grateful that she didn’t say, “Take you on as a client? You can’t even format a Word document.” Four years later, she still has my techno-challenged back—and a knack for bringing calm to any situation with the potential to make my head do the
Exorcist
spin. Extended thanks to everyone at Spencerhill Associates.
Huge thanks to Jodi Warshaw and the team at Lake Union Publishing for welcoming the Fitzwilliams with open arms and being drawn to my “dark quirkiness.” (I’m quite partial to it myself.) Extra-special thanks to Clete Barrett Smith, whose insightful edits gave me new love for
The Perfect Son
.
A shout-out to Emily Ohanjanians, who helped shape the first draft and was my editor for
The In-Between Hour
. I firmly believe Emily’s brilliance is the reason my second novel was chosen by the Southern Independent Booksellers Alliance (SIBA) as a Winter 2014 Okra Pick. Endless gratitude to SIBA and to all the indie booksellers who were so supportive of
The In-Between Hour
, especially Jamie Fiocco at Flyleaf Books and Sharon Wheeler at Purple Crow Books. My commitment to indie bookstores continues.
Group hug with my writing comrades at Book Pregnant/The Novel Factory, who cheer, cry, and vent with me every day. I’m raising my glass to the future bicoastal drunk fest.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to answer annoying research questions, and apologies for any facts I’ve garbled. Mega thanks to my medical consultant on call, Karen Perrizolo. For helping me understand issues of the heart—thank you to Dr. Andrew Greganti, Sherry Gorman, Becky Williams, and Dr. Marschall Runge, executive dean of the UNC School of Medicine at Chapel Hill. Dean Runge happily replied to more emails than anyone should ever have to answer. (You, sir, are a saint.) Special thanks to Stephanie Mahin at the UNC Medical Center news office for not giving up on my search for a cardiologist! Thank you to Daniel Kim and Kelly Hartog for offering fresh perspectives on OCPD—when I was beginning to fear there was nothing but gloom and doom. Thank you to Nancy Siebens and Densie Webb for the parents’ point of view on Tourette syndrome. Air kisses to Julie Smith for sharing firsthand experience of concussions. And, as always, heartfelt appreciation for Dr. Pat Gammon, guru of all things anxiety related.
For attempting to explain the world of finance to a woman who can’t balance her checkbook, thank you to Scott Cooper, Stephen Piercy, and Rob Rose. (Guys, I’m a lost cause. Sorry!)
Flight attendants—you rock. Thank you to Mike Wilson, Tricia Homan, Michael Tongko, and James Prentice. (Extra thanks to Buzzy Porter, Scott Wilbanks, Marci Nault, and Beth Lundberg for the intros—gotta love Facebook!)
Thank you to Annabel Garrett for the guided tour of Duke Gardens and for explaining the true wonders of the Blomquist Garden; thank you to Marcy Cohen for helping me research the Nasher Museum of Art scene and for riding shotgun on the great hunt for the Fitzwilliam house. Thank you, Josh Stallings and Diane Ritchie, for bringing the Harvard campus to life. Cheers to pals Lynn and John Pickles and Carolyn Wilson for answering pesky questions about all things British.
Phew. It really does take a village. Speaking of which . . . thanks to my entire transatlantic tribe: old and new buddies who answered random cries for help on Facebook; the Grossberg clan; the Rose family; Anne Claypole White; and—never forgotten—Reverend Douglas Eric Claypole White. Unending gratitude for Susan Rose, who caught my whopper of a mistake and saved the day. (And yes, her English bone china mugs full of history are fabulous.)
Much love to fellow writers Elizabeth Brown and Sheryl Cornett, who bravely waded through my second draft—on a tight turnaround—to provide ideas that shaped the story and my characters; and a wave to Laura Spinella for tackling my rubbish synopsis. To Barbara Davis, please move back south so we can continue our author support group of two.
A million thanks to my beta reader, Leslie Gildersleeve, who went above and beyond time and time again, and realized—before I did—that the manuscript needed a flashback scene with Felix and his father. You, my friend, are the best.
Mother-son hug for Oberlin sophomore Zachariah Claypole White: for answering every text that screamed “word choice emergency,” for staying up half the night to read the third draft, and for providing a brilliant critique with a decorative note that read, “Never say this manuscript is crap again or I’ll put a spider in your bed.” (Nice try—you’re more terrified of arachnids than I am.) And thank you to Zachariah and Danlee Gildersleeve, a.k.a. The Arcadian Project, for creating music that allows me to tune out the world and tune into my characters. Please remember your parents when you’re rich and famous. (We expect the rock ’n’ roll rest home.)
Biggest thank-you is reserved for my one and only—my emotional
anchor, Lawrence Grossberg. Thank you for suffering through my craziness and for endless brainstorming that produced such genius comments as “What if Harry went to Harvard, Barbara?” Thank you for embracing domestic chaos and taking over huge chunks of our lives so that I could be a penniless dreamer. Most of all, thank you for believing that I could actually do this—again.
The following books were extremely helpful:
Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control
, by Allan E. Mallinger, MD, and Jeanette Dewyze
Passing for Normal: A Memoir of Compulsion
, by Amy S. Wilensky
Twitch and Shout: A Touretter’s Tale
, by Lowell Handler
A Family’s Quest for Rhythm: Living with Tourette, ADD, OCD, and Challenging Behaviors
, by Kathy Giordano and Matt Giordano
BOOK CLUB DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
- No one in the novel is quite as he or she seems at first. Ella, for example, appears to be the perfect mother, but is filled with hidden doubts and insecurities; Felix appears to be a rigid control freak, and yet every decision he makes for the family pushes him beyond his comfort zone. As the story unfolds, did any of the other characters surprise you, and if so, in what ways? Do you agree that we are often too quick to pigeonhole a person based on one aspect of his or her personality?
- Felix is a dark, unlikely hero. Even as Katherine warms to him, she calls him an antihero. How do you feel about Felix, and did those feelings change while you were reading the novel? Is Felix his own worst critic?
- Were you shocked by Felix’s flashback scene? Do you think we ever truly know what goes on in a family?
- Harry does not have coprolalia—the involuntary and repetitive use of obscene language. Coprolalia is, however, the most common popular image of Tourette’s, even though it affects only a small percentage of people with Tourette syndrome. Do you agree that fictional characters struggling with neurological or mental disorders are often depicted using stereotypes? Do any of your family members battle an invisible disability, and if so, what have you found to be the most challenging part of explaining quirky behavior to the outside world?
- When parenting a high-maintenance child, do the lines blur between being a helicopter parent and being a child advocate? Does Ella’s health crisis speed up the natural process of separation and boundary setting that she and Harry must experience?
- How do Harry’s relationships with both his parents change during the novel?
- How did you react to Ella’s attempts to distance herself from Harry while she was in the hospital? What would you have done in her situation?
- Harry and Max have a unique bond. What did you like most about their relationship? Do you think they will be BFFs forever, despite taking such different life paths?
- What do you think is the emotional core of Ella and Felix’s marriage? Are they well matched or an unlikely couple? Do you agree with Felix that the two months following the heart attack are a gift—a second chance for them?
- In chapter one, Ella refers to the stranger sitting next to her as the good father, and throughout the novel, both she and Felix question what it means to be a good parent. What do you think it means? Do you agree with them that the hardest lesson of parenthood is learning to let go?
- Do you have a favorite secondary character? If so, who and why?
- One of the novel’s themes is that a person can find clarity and empathy in a moment of unbearable darkness. Does the Fitzwilliam family crisis bring out the best in all the characters, including the secondary ones?
- Ella’s journey is a solitary one, whereas Felix is drawn increasingly into a community of support, something he’s never experienced before. What do you think about that?
- Why doesn’t Ella die on the plane? Do you think she ever believed she would get better?
- We see various settings in historic Durham, North Carolina, from Felix’s perspective. What did you learn about Felix through the different settings—especially the scenes at Duke Gardens and the Nasher Museum of Art? Why do you think Felix, a Londoner who loves the afternoon sun, was drawn to a house hidden in shade at the edge of Duke Forest? Do you think Felix will stay in the house?
- How did you react to the ending?
A CONVERSATION WITH THE AUTHOR
What was the inspiration for this book?
This story grew out of several unrelated moments in my life and, as with everything I write, comes back to my passion for poking holes in stereotypes of mental or neurological disabilities.
I’ve always wanted to create a character with Tourette syndrome, and I’ve long been fascinated by the 80 percent divorce rate among families raising special-needs kids. My son has battled obsessive-compulsive disorder for most of his life, and I’m active in a support group for parents of OCD kids. I’ve watched many marriages in that community crumble. After someone asked why my marriage had survived, I started researching a story about a broken marriage and a high-maintenance teen in crisis. Then three separate events occurred.
The first event was a routine medical procedure that went horribly wrong. I ended up in the ICU, and the strain on my guys, who are both empathetic, was unbearable. We got through that crisis, but a few months later, on a family trip to visit my mother in England, I was struck down by a virus that manifested as asthma. I couldn’t breathe, and the steroids I was prescribed made my heart race. Since I have genetic heart issues, it was hard not to freak out. One night, my husband sat up with me for hours, holding my hand while I chanted silently, “I am not sick, I am not sick, I am not sick.” The next day, I wrote two pages of gibberish about a wife who has a heart attack. (I think that was therapy for dealing with my own fear.) The final incident happened on the flight home from a literary festival in Ireland when some poor guy collapsed three rows in front of me. (Yes, I was the bad person taking notes.)
I ditched the manuscript I was working on—which felt way too serious—and started fleshing out the Fitzwilliams. I’m drawn to dark humor, and the characters kept making me smile. Once I’d found Max, the punk / math genius who uses perfect grammar in his texts, there was no going back. From that moment on, my life was all about Harry. (That was my working title,
It’s All about Harry
. But of course it isn’t really . . .)
Your characters have severe medical, neurological, and mental problems to overcome. How did you research this novel?
I’m a research-heavy novelist who conducts many one-on-one interviews. I also read memoirs, do Internet research, lurk in online groups, and watch endless YouTube videos (okay, so some of the music videos might be distractions . . .). With this novel, however, I found my research difficult and overwhelming. Ella’s medical journey provided the framework for the story, but it took seven months to track down a cardiologist willing to talk with me. Until that point, I was constantly second-guessing her storyline.
The research into the neurological and mental disorders came with its own challenges, since many of the firsthand sources focused on more extreme cases. I nearly abandoned OCPD because most of the accounts came from disillusioned ex-spouses who said, “If you’re married to anyone with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, run.” I reminded myself that my characters are not their disorders, and that we all have individual brain chemistry and unique life experiences that mold us into a mess of complexities and contradictions. As one mother told me, if you lined up a hundred kids with Tourette syndrome, the Tourette’s would manifest differently in every child.
I’m not trying to create cardboard cutouts that say, “I am OCPD” or “I am Tourette’s.” The fun part for me is always thinking outside the box of clinical definitions to find the person behind the label. Hey, people with messed-up brain chemistry and wiring still need backstories and well-rounded personalities!
During the writing of this novel, did anything surprise you?
Everything surprised me. Even though I forced myself to create a detailed outline, nothing went as planned. I started a story set in Chapel Hill, but it skipped over to Durham; I thought I was writing about a marriage in crisis, then it became a father-son story . . . and finally, I realized it was about a family finding acceptance. Harry decided to fall in love, Max announced he didn’t want to go to college, Katherine became a good guy, and the ending reversed in the second draft.
The characters’ emotional arcs surprised the heck out of me. I loved that Harry, who had never learned to establish boundaries with his mother, took charge of his life by learning to confront his father. And Ella evolved in ways that I hadn’t anticipated. Her revelations about the pregnancy and her doubts about being a mother? I never saw those coming.
I’m not sure that discovering the real Felix was a surprise, but it was the most rewarding part of writing this novel. I heard Felix’s voice from the beginning, but he presented huge problems. He’s not an obvious hero, and until you understand his layers, he presents as a judgmental control freak. When an early reader said, “I didn’t want to like Felix, but I did,” I finally began to believe readers would stick with him.
Tell us about the setting. Your first two novels have lush rural settings, but this time you switched to the city of Durham, North Carolina. Why?
Once again, I wanted to set the story in rural Orange County, but Felix isn’t a country person. So I moved the setting to an established Chapel Hill neighborhood. That didn’t work, either. (Felix is quite picky!) And then I was driving around the older, tree-lined streets of Durham by Duke Gardens, and I had a lightbulb moment: I had found Felix’s home. While parts of Duke speak to Felix of his time at Oxford, he’s also drawn to the sense of rejuvenation at the heart of historic Durham. There’s a creative, cosmopolitan, slightly funky energy to the downtown that reminds me a little of London, and Felix is a Londoner. By putting the house at the edge of Duke Forest, I could also sneak in references to light through the trees, which is my favorite writing image.
Felix is your darkest hero yet. What drew you to his character?
James Nealy, my beloved OCD hero in
The Unfinished Garden
, came from my darkest fear as a mother: What if, when my young son grew up, no one could see beyond his quirky behavior to love him for the amazing person he is? Since James, I’ve wanted to go deeper and darker, and that desire led to Felix. Felix is ruled by a rigid personality that makes him hard to like sometimes, but Eudora’s right—he’s a good man. I love that contradiction.
Tell us about Harry and Max’s relationship, which seems unusual for two teenage boys.
My son and his BFF—“Thing One and Thing Two”—have been best buddies since they were toddlers. Nothing and no one comes between them, and I’ve always been extremely grateful for their bond. All is well in my world when those two are together, and man, are they a creative force! They used to build huge worlds out of Legos, make movies, and go on epic adventures in the forest. Now they write and perform music that inspires me. I firmly believe they will change the world. (I think Max and Harry will, too—Max through his music, Harry as a psychologist.)
Where did Eudora come from?
She popped up in my head one day, wearing that hat from the final scene. I put her aside for a future novel, but when I was spewing out my stream-of-consciousness first draft, she appeared in Ella’s garden with a pair of pruning shears. Given my love of gardening and eccentric characters, I knew she had to stay.
Do you have a favorite scene?
Not really, but I’m quite fond of the moonshine scene, which came out fully formed. As a reader, I love secondary characters who steal the show, and that scene belongs to Eudora and Max.
Why do you include a listening guide with your novels?
I started writing seriously as a mother on the go, which meant I had to learn how to tune out the world instantly. Music allows me to do that, but only if the song speaks to me of my point-of-view character’s emotional state. With my iPod and earbuds, I can write anywhere. Huge chunks of
The In-Between Hour
, for example, were written in the child psychologist’s waiting room and in a parking lot during my son’s Tuesday night guitar lessons. Because of that training, I managed to write a very difficult chapter of
The Perfect Son
on a transatlantic flight. (The wine may have helped.)
If I had to pick one song to listen to over and over while reading this novel, it would be “The Kids from Yesterday” by My Chemical Romance. The reference to lights makes me think of Ella, and the line about how your heart has to break before you can hear the music always says Felix to me. The hardest part of writing this novel was figuring out Felix’s relationship to music. I knew he would ask Harry for a playlist, but it took a while to figure out when and how. That’s the best part of writing—finding the pieces and watching them fit together.