The Perils of Praline (26 page)

After a long uncomfortable pause, Dr. Jill broke character and said, “That’s not what you discussed with my producer earlier.”

“Yes, well, your producer said no one would touch my hair and look how that turned out,” Robin snapped.

“You’re angry about your hair?” Dr. Jill hissed.

“Of course I’m angry about my hair. And, I’m angry that everyone around here keeps calling my son names.” Robin then did what she always did when she was really, really angry; she turned on the charm.

With a big, sweet smile she said, “Oh, come on Dr. Jill, you’ve slurped the salami. You know how fun it is. Would you really deny that pleasure to anyone who wants to partake? That just seems downright cruel, if you ask me.” Robin’s smile grew even bigger. “Oh, I just remembered something, you like to do helpful hints on your show, don’t you? I’m a big fan, so I know that. Let me tell you, I once worked with the nicest young hairdresser and one afternoon when we had nothing to do he explained how to give a blowjob from a man’s perspective, and I tell you it changed everything.”

Jason turned and stared at Praline. “Did your mother just say blowjob on TV?”

“She sure did.”

Robin played to the studio audience. “After that, every man I went with called me ‘a goddess,’ ‘a revelation sent from God,’ and ‘an oral-copulating genius.”

“I’m sorry Ms. Palmetier, but we’re running out of time—” Dr. Jill said, before Robin interrupted her.

“In that case, I just have to quickly mention my new business venture. Very soon I’ll be opening a chain of medical marijuana dispensaries here in Southern California. I’m calling them McWeedie’s!”

Abruptly, the feed ended and the show cut to commercial for McQuickie’s curiously healthy French fries, as though to subliminally support Robin’s new business venture.

“She sells marijuana. And she cuts hair. That’s what my mother does for a living.”

Jason just said, “Oh.”

“Do you think they’ll come back?” asked Praline.

“I doubt it,” replied Jason. “Well, your mother didn’t lie. And I have to say I’m liking her a lot more.”

“You do realize she may have only done that because they messed with her hair,” Praline suggested, as there was a strong possibility it was the truth.

“Let’s give her the benefit of a doubt,” suggested Jason.

Now that the show was over, Praline couldn’t contain his news any longer. Excitedly he said, “I have a surprise for you. I got you a job!”

Jason looked at him curiously, “Actually, I already have a job. You just got it back for me.”

“No, I got you a better job, a great job.” With an enormous smile he dropped his bombshell. “I told Sid that I want you to direct the movie of my life. And he agreed.”

Jason knit his brow and studied Praline
.
“That’s very sweet, but why would Sid agree to that?”

“Because, I gave him a photo of Harris Pilton getting a blow job from a girl and I told him they could make whatever changes to my life story they wanted to make on the condition that you direct the movie.”

“What changes?” Jason asked.

It took nearly ten minutes, but Praline related the story of a young man from Georgia who, after overcoming an abusive childhood and winning the love of the girl next door, moves to Hollywood where he becomes a casting director by day and a hustler by night. Though he meets his craven sexual needs by selling his body to men, his love for the girl back home never wavers.

“Oh yeah, and he has this best friend who’s also a hustler. Which is kind of like you except you’re not a hustler and his friend is straight so even though they’re really, really close they never have sex with each other. Just with other men. Which actually is like you and me, I mean the part about them not having sex, not the part about you being straight. Which you’re not.”

Jason stared at him, then said, “Why would I want to direct that? It sounds awful.”

“It’s for The Lovetime Movie Network. Does it have to be good?”

“It has to be good if I’m going to direct it,” Jason exclaimed.

“Well, I’m sure you can make it good,” Praline said.

“No, I can’t. Tell him no. Tell him I won’t direct the movie after the changes they’ve made and tell him you won’t sell him the rights to your life. You haven’t signed anything yet, have you?”

“Just my intern contract. Which, as I understand, gave them the rights to my life. And pretty much everything else I think, say or do for perpetuity.”

“I doubt that would hold up in court, which they know. They’re just hoping you don’t sue,” Jason explained. “We can call your mother’s lawyer and find out for sure.”

“So you think I should say no to the whole thing?”

“Yes, I do.”

“This is a really tough decision,” said Praline.

He considered his options. If someone wanted to make a movie of
his
life, it just made sense to say yes. But, then, Jason had a point. It didn’t sound like a very good movie. Nor did it sound much like his life. And while it would be really, really nice to be famous for a while longer, did he really want to be famous as the gay guy who was in love with the girl next door so he became a male hooker? It would be like telling the entire world a lie. And if he were to tell a lie to the entire world, that wasn’t exactly the one he’d tell. It made him look stupid
,
and even if he was stupid, he’d rather only his close friends knew. Then again, Sid Gaffer was the Godfather of the Gay Mafia and could easily put an end to Praline’s sex life.

Finally, he looked at Jason and said, “I don’t know what to do.”

“You believe in telling the truth, right?”

“Yes. Very much so,” Praline had even come to believe, contrary to his mother’s commandments, one ought to tell the truth to the police. Or at least come close.

“Then that’s your answer,” said Jason. “You believe in telling the truth. You can’t let them make an entire movie that’s nothing but lies.”

“But if I tell Sid he can’t make the movie because it’s a bunch of lies, well, if he gets mad that’s the end of my sex life,” Praline said with great concern. It was one thing to tell the truth, but if cost him his sex life…

“If Sid puts a hit on your sex life, I promise I’ll have sex with you.”

Suddenly, losing his sex life didn’t seem so bad. Praline leaned a little closer to Jason
.
“I don’t think there’s any if about it; I think it’s absolutely certain he’ll do that.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” agreed Jason.

“And I’ve decided. I’m absolutely, definitely going to tell him no.”

“I think that’s the best choice.”

Finally, Praline pulled Jason close and kissed him. While they kissed Praline took a deep breath
;
he loved the way Jason smelled, a bit of soap, shampoo, sweat, and a wood
s
y cologne he now wanted to buy by the gallon.

“You know we’ll probably both get fired,” Jason pointed out, then kissed Praline again.

“That’s all right?” Praline guessed.

“Yeah, it’s all right,” Jason kissed him again. Then unbuttoned Praline’s shirt. When he got it open he caressed Praline’s smooth, practically hairless chest, so much in contrast to Jason’s own. Jason pulled his T-shirt over his head then went back to kissing Praline.

Their hands were everywhere. Eagerly, Praline pawed at Jason’s crotch. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Jason’s cock since he saw it during the orgy, and he desperately wanted to get his hands on it. Even through Jason’s jeans, it was a satisfying handful.

Jason lifted Praline off of him, pushing him onto the empty part of the couch. He undid Praline’s pants and pulled them off. He groped Praline through his briefs, and then pulled those down as well. Re-positioning himself, Jason leaned his head close to Praline’s cock. Taking it in his hand, he licked the tip a half dozen times. Praline was nearly delirious.

Then, Jason looked up and asked, “Do you realize that there are more words for penis in the English language than there are for love?”

“I did not know that,” Praline replied. “Can we discuss it later?”

“Oh, yeah, good idea,” Jason said, and slipped Praline’s cock back into his mouth. After deep-throating Praline a few times, Jason rubbed the slippery prick against his stubbly face, eliciting a gasp from Praline.

Praline’s cock was hard as a rock. Actually, it had passed hard as a rock and was now approaching hard as titanium. Which, as good as it felt, was also a little painful. He couldn’t wait any longer, he had to have Jason’s dick in his mouth. He pushed off Jason’s pants, and was thrilled to see that he’d gone commando, as it put the moment of satisfaction that much—

It was in. Jason’s cock fit perfectly in Praline’s mouth. It was thick enough that there was a pleasant stretching of his lips, but short enough that he didn’t have to struggle not to gag. Grasping Jason’s heavy balls in one hand, Praline twirled his tongue around the dick’s big mushroom head.

Jason gasped and his breathing got heavy. Then, he pulled out and spun his body around so that he could suck Praline’s cock while allowing Praline to continue working on his. In the past, sixty-nine had not been Praline’s favorite thing because it divided his focus; he couldn’t completely pay attention to having his cock sucked, nor could he really concentrate on sucking the cock that was in front of him. He decided though, since it was Jason, he’d make more of an effort. He tried to imagine his mind as a split screen with one side focusing on Jason sucking his cock and how deeply he was pulling it into his throat, and the other side paying attention to sliding his tongue around the head of Jason’s prick.

On top of that, Praline’s mind was racing. He wanted to do all sorts of things to Jason and, now that it was possible, he could barely decide where to begin. Letting Jason’s prick slip out of his mouth, he worked his tongue around his Grade A, extra-large balls, then up the perineum until he got to Jason’s hairy asshole. He worked his tongue around until Jason moaned.

After just a few moments of this, Jason got up and held out his hand to help Praline off the sofa. The two young men headed for Jason’s bedroom. Once there, Praline pushed Jason up against the closet door, kissing him. Jason turned around and Praline rubbed his hands across his back.

Then, Praline realized that Jason wanted to be fucked against the closet just as he’d been fucked in the alley. After a quick trip to the nightstand for the necessary accessories, Praline stepped behind Jason and slowly eased his prick into him. He was answered by Jason’s whisper, “Yeah, that’s it.”

Spreading his legs wide, so that he could get the best angle, Praline began fucking Jason slowly. His hands resting on hairy butt cheeks, he increased his speed ever so gradually. Jason pushed his ass back onto Praline’s cock
,
meeting each thrust. The closet doors were cheap and louvered, and it wasn’t long before
the
creaking began to compete with their impassioned moans and gasps.

Praline was close and he didn’t want to come, so he stopped fucking Jason and led him to the unmade bed. He lay down on the bed and pulled Jason on top of him. Wrapping his legs around Jason’s back, Praline let him know he wanted his turn. While Jason got a condom, Praline pulled off the one he was wearing and folded a pillow under his ass.

Ready, Jason moved into position. Praline rested his legs on Jason’s shoulders. After Jason slipped his wide cock into Praline’s ass, he moved it around slowly and then whispered, “Is that okay?”

“It’s great, but it’s not fair to make me talk while you’re doing it.”

Jason laughed and picked up his pace. Praline moaned, then settled in for the ride. It was amazing. He wanted to figure out a way to capture each and every moment so he could replay them again and again. He slipped his hands behind his knees and pulled them back to his chest.

As Jason pounded into him, the bed creaked worse than the closet doors. Sweat formed on Jason’s forehead. “I want to see you come,” he whispered.

And, since Praline was a polite young man who did his best to accommodate, he came. His toes curled tightly, his body bucked and come sprayed his belly and chest. The accompanying spasms in his ass pushed Jason over the edge, and, with a guttural groan, he came as well.

Afterward, Praline stared into Jason’s eyes, which were exactly the color of a rich, moist devil’s food cake, and thought,
now I know why they call it falling in love
. That’s exactly what he felt, as though he were falling, falling into Jason’s delicious eyes.

He traced his finger along Jason’s nose and said, “I love your nose.”

“I hate my nose,” Jason replied.

“Your nose is perfect,” Praline said, although even he didn’t really believe it. So he added, “It’s perfect because it’s not perfect.”

Sleepily, Jason said, “You’re perfect.”

“No, I’m not.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

Praline was about to say his ass was not perfect; it was incredibly large and stuck out too far. Occasionally, he even knocked things over with it. But then he thought if Jason’s nose was perfect mainly because it wasn’t, then maybe his ass was perfect because it wasn’t.

After a moment, Praline said, “Nothing’s wrong with me. You’re right, I’m perfect.”

Jason laughed, and as Praline basked in
the
warmth of his lover’s arms, he began thinking of himself as a sort of modern-day Goldilocks. Since he’d come to Los Angeles a few days ago, he’d had sex with, well, at least a dozen guys, which was perhaps a little sluttish, but really he was just trying each one on to see who might be a good fit. When looked at that way, having sex with all those guys had been a very practical decision-making process and not sluttish in the least.

And, best of all, he’d ended up with Jason. Who was absolutely the right fit. Oh, thinking of Goldilocks reminded him that he really needed to dye his hair back to its original almost-natural blond. Maybe his mother could do it. He had to at least ask her; she’d be offended if he didn’t.

And, super best of all, Jason wanted to be a film director. Praline knew, just knew, he’d become a really important film director. Jason was smart and kind and honest and clearly had artistic integrity since he refused to direct the Lovetime version of Praline’s life. There was no way he could go wrong. And when Jason realized his dream, Praline would realize his own. He’d become a same-sex celebrity spouse, just as he hoped when he set out for Los Angeles.