The P.J. Stone Gates Trilogy (#1-3) (35 page)

“I love you, too,” I murmured as Bryn’s hands slid down my body to mold my languid form to his firm, hard one. I let myself luxuriate in the feeling of being surrounded by him for a few moments before pulling away. I met his eyes briefly before focusing over his shoulder, not wanting to get sucked in by the heat for me I saw in them. “We really don’t have time for that now. We need to get back—” My words were swallowed by Bryn’s fierce kiss, temporarily blanking my mind, which I’m sure was his goal. I moaned into his mouth as his large callused hands slipped under my sweater to skim my suddenly overheated skin.

“We have time,” Bryn whispered hoarsely as he nibbled his way down my neck, causing white-hot heat to pool in my middle. Sometimes I hated how easy it was for him to manage me, even though I knew the reverse was also true.

“I’m so sick of seeing you guys groping each other everywhere I go. Can’t you two be a little more considerate of the rest of us?” Jeremy’s angry voice was like ice water being poured on me, and I wrenched away from Bryn’s grasp. I looked up to see Jeremy’s eyes glittering with dark jealousy and something else I couldn’t read.

I flushed under his scrutinizing gaze. “I’m sorry,” I croaked.

“Well, I’m not.” Bryn pulled himself up to stand at his full height, which although wasn’t as tall as Khol’s, was a good deal greater than Jeremy’s 6'1", not to mention Bryn’s larger frame and muscles were more daunting as well. Jeremy was by no means a tiny or scrawny guy, but he certainly looked it standing near Bryn.

“Of course you’re not,” Jeremy said. “You’re more than happy to rub it in all our faces that she’s yours anytime you want.”

“Hey!” I exclaimed indignantly. “That’s not what this is all about.”

“Like you’d be any different with her,” Bryn growled as he took a step towards Jeremy who squared off with him, not intimidated at all.

“Why don’t you give me a chance to be with her and we’ll see.”

“I don’t share,” Bryn’s jaw turned to stone.

Did Jeremy realize how close to pummeling him Bryn really was? Did he realize how close
I
was to pummeling him for that matter? I strode forward and smacked him across the face with as much force as I could muster. His head snapped to the side before his startled brown eyes met mine. “Don’t you ever talk about me like that again.” I inhaled and exhaled deep shuddering breaths, trying to rein in my temper. Thank God we weren’t in Khol’s realm at the moment because Jeremy would have probably been toast—literally—from my dragon fire gift. Even as it was, I felt my palms heat, ignited by my fury.

Fresh anger replaced Jeremy’s surprise from me slapping him, and his lip curled up in a sneer. “If he would have stayed gone a little longer—”

“Don’t say it.” My voice vibrated with fury. “Don’t you dare say it.”

“—I would have gotten my chance to seduce you, too, and then maybe you would have made a different choice.”

“It’s not all about sex!” I screeched, my voice going up a few octaves. “You knew I loved Bryn from the beginning!”

“And yet you still kissed me—”

“You kissed
me
!”

“You enjoyed it. Or was your orgasm all for show? Imagine what I could have done if I actually touched you.” Jeremy laughed darkly. “Khol got his shot, what about me?”

Images of Khol and I in bed together skittered across my brain, followed by what I had attempted to do right after—take my own life. The soul-deep agony that was still there but that I never let myself feel washed over me and pulled me under in one brutal wave. I dropped to my knees and screamed as flames erupted from my palms. They weren’t anywhere close to the strength they had been when I had burned Drake, but I could feel the power to do more damage lurking just below the surface. And I didn’t think I could control it any more than I had the first time. Bryn rushed forward, and I read the panic in his face as he reached for me. “Peej!” he exclaimed.

“No! Stop!” I croaked. “I don’t wanna hurt you!” I met Bryn’s eyes as he dropped his arms and let them fall helplessly at his sides. “Khol,” I whispered. Before his name had completely rolled off my tongue, Khol appeared in front of me and grasped my palms within his to draw away my flames. The sudden lack of heat and power caused my world to go dark around the edges, and I fell forward. Warm, strong arms caught me and scooped me up before everything went completely black.

“Why the hell do I have to be the one who keeps passing out?” I grumbled as my eyes fluttered open to a dimly lit room. I met Bryn’s worry filled eyes and wondered why I still felt so tired. The last time Khol had siphoned off my power to control my fire, he had re-energized me shortly thereafter—
so what gives?
“Why am I still so tired?” I asked out loud.

“Khol was trying to teach me how to give you some of my power. He thought it would be a good way to learn the pull and push that I need to know to do what he does.” Bryn looked away, his face falling into shadow. “But I’m not very good at it.” He then stood abruptly, his back facing me. “I’m not very good at any of it.”

“Hey,” I said, pushing myself up onto my elbows with a grimace. Good thing Bryn was facing the other way or he would have felt worse at seeing how much I was struggling. “We’re both new at this. And we wouldn’t have to deal with all of this so soon if I could keep my temper under control.”

“Maybe Khol was right. Maybe being with him was the best thing for you.” Bryn’s whispered words caused my heart to flutter.

“You don’t mean that.” He was just upset, I told myself. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to combat the feeling that my chest was going to cave in. “Don’t ever say something like that.” When he didn’t move or respond, I began to shake. “Bryn?”

In a blur of motion, Bryn took me into his arms and dropped his face into my hair. His muffled voice rumbled low near my ear. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t say anything but continued to hold me tightly in his arms. Afraid to speak, I let him.

What was he thinking? Was he having regrets about being with me? Was I, with my newly emerging powers, too much for him to handle? “It’s too late for buyer’s remorse,” I joked, trying to make my voice sound lighthearted. “You’re kind of stuck with me because of the whole dragon
Anam Cara
thing . . .” My voice trailed off as more self-doubts swirled around in my head. Ever since Bryn and I had left Khol’s realm and our dragon sides hadn’t been dominating us, our
Anam Cara
marks had disappeared. We hadn’t returned for fear of me missing out on an important vision, but the worry that out here—in the real world, so to speak—Bryn and I weren’t really bonded was ever present in my mind. Maybe Bryn saw it as a way out, a loophole for him to back out of being with me. “Bryn?” His name seemed to hold all the questions I was unable to speak out loud.

“I would never let anyone else have you.” Bryn’s voice shook with strong emotion. “I love you. You know that. Always.”

“But then—”

Bryn cut me off, obviously knowing where I was going with my line of questioning. “It just makes me sick that you have to rely on him for anything. I want to be the one who you turn to for everything. The fact that I can’t take care of you kills me a little more every time something like today happens.” I kneaded his shoulders where I could reach in an attempt to comfort him, but he pulled away and stood with his back to me again. “Some days I feel every bit the baby dragon he thinks I am. And I hate it.” I watched as Bryn’s fists clenched and unclenched in frustration. “I need some time alone,” Bryn muttered before popping out ala Khol style.

“Damn it!” I growled as I feebly punched the bed in my own frustration. “Not you too now.” It was annoying enough that Khol popped in and out all the time, but now Bryn seemed to be following suit with that unacceptable behavior.
Stupid dragons!

“They’re killing the wolves!” Jenna exclaimed in a panic as she burst into the room brandishing her laptop. “We can’t let them kill the wolves!”

“Okay, calm down. What are you talking about?”

“The government is letting people kill off the wolves in Idaho and Montana!” Jenna said in a rush. “I found info about it online!” She paused to inhale and exhale a few times, her face flushed with anxiety. “You know who it really is: the Riders! We can’t let them do it! Oh my God, I can’t breathe!” She gasped and clutched at her throat. “Can’t breathe!” She started clawing at her throat as her breathing became short little gasps and her face flushed even more.

Holy shit!
Was she having a panic attack or could she really not breathe? “Khol!” I cried out. “Khol!” Maybe with his healing abilities, he could help her. It was worth a shot anyways.

Both Khol and Macon appeared. Macon rushed to Jenna’s side, worry creasing his brow. Khol turned his eyes to me. “What’s the problem?” he asked calmly.

I waved my hands frantically in Jenna’s general direction. “I think it’s pretty self explanatory!”

“She’s having a panic attack. They’re not unheard of,” Khol stated blandly.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Well, can’t you fix it or something, you know, with your healing powers?”

Khol frowned at me. “Since there isn’t anything actually wrong with her physically, and since the panic is caused by her mind, there is nothing I can do. It will pass, and she’ll be fine.”

My gaze shifted to Jenna. Macon had scooped her up in his arms in an effort to comfort her. She was still gasping for air and babbling about us needing to save the wolves. “She says they’re killing off the wolves—the Riders. What can we do?”

“We must pick our battles. Right now, the most pertinent problem on our hands is rescuing your families, or would you disagree?”

I swallowed at the sudden lump in my throat. As much as I wanted to help the wolves, I, of course wouldn’t rate their lives above those of my family, and I didn’t think Jenna would either. “No, I don’t disagree,” I whispered, almost ashamed to say the words out loud. Unfortunately, in a war there would always be casualties, and if I wasn’t mistaken, we were technically at war with the Riders.

Khol nodded once tightly at me and then disappeared. “Yep, thanks for your help,” I grumbled to myself.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her,” Macon said to me just before he disappeared with Jenna still in his arms.

I looked over to see Bryn standing perfectly still in the shadows cast by the slightly ajar door. I was beginning to wonder how long he had been standing there when he spoke. “And again you called to
him
for help,” he said, his eyes dark with unfounded jealousy.

“I—well, I—” I started to stammer, emotionally steeling myself. I loved Bryn and had no reason to feel guilty for calling out to Khol for help. After all, Bryn didn’t possess the healing capabilities that Khol did. “He has healing powers that you don’t. I won’t feel bad for asking for his help. He’s a part of our team now, Bryn—get used to it.”

Bryn ground his teeth together as he glared at me, his sea storm eyes raging with dark emotion. “Yeah, well, maybe you can ask for his help tonight to keep you warm.” He swiveled on his heel and stalked away from me.

I remained paralyzed in shock for a few moments before I gave him chase. “Bryn! Wait!” I scurried to catch up to him, and when I did, I grabbed at his arm to stop him. “Bryn! What the hell is the matter with you today? Stop being so ridiculous!” I yelled at him with exasperation. “You have no reason to be jealous, so why are you?”

Bryn finally halted, exhaling loudly and slumping his shoulders. He stared at the ground in front of him for what seemed like an eternity before lifting his head to meet my eyes. “After everything . . . I still don’t feel good enough to be with you sometimes.”

My mouth opened and closed a few times, like a fish out of water, before I found my voice. “You can’t be serious. I thought we were past that. If anything, you’re too good to be with me.” I still sometimes couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Bryn loved me. He was so perfect in every way, and well—I’m just me, enough said. How could we both think the other one was too good to be with us? Or was that just a part of being in love, putting the object of your affection up on a pedestal?

“Bryn,” I tried again, this time reaching up to run my fingers through his shorter, spikier hair. A part of me mourned the loss of his longer locks, but just like the rest of us, I knew he had to change his appearance the best he could in case we were out in public and spotted by Regs on the lookout for the wanted and missing cult members’ children. Thinking about how I missed his hair, I wondered if he thought I was as pretty with my new, shorter, punk rock style hair. “Do you still think I’m pretty?” I couldn’t keep the words from spilling out of my mouth. Maybe I was just as bad as Jenna in my own way.

Bryn turned to regard me with a twinkle in his eyes that reminded me of the old carefree Bryn, the one from my childhood. “Just because you’ve gone all punk rock slash Emo on me doesn’t mean I’d kick you out of my bed,” he teased.

I punched him in the arm, which didn’t even cause him to flinch. “Hey,” I said self-consciously. “Don’t be mean. It’s not like I had much of a choice.”