The Placebo Effect

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Authors: David Rotenberg

BOOK: The Placebo Effect
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FOR SUSAN, JOEY AND BETH

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Contents

Acknowledgements

Prologue

Chapter 1: The Dangerous Voyage of Mike Shedloski Begins

Chapter 2: In The Castle of The Enemy

Chapter 3: Mike Gets the Urge for Going

Chapter 4: Teacher

Chapter 5: Yslan Hicks

Chapter 6: Decker Takes a Job, or Two or Three

Chapter 7: Yslan at the NSA

Chapter 8: Orlando, Florida

Chapter 9: The Further Voyage of Michael Shedloski

Chapter 10: Pittsburgh

Chapter 11: Cleveland, Ohio

Chapter 12: Mac

Chapter 13: Mike At Decker's House

Chapter 14: Henry-Clay's Decision

Chapter 15: Nightmares

Chapter 16: Crazy Eddie

Chapter 17: The Day After a Fire

Chapter 18: Arson

Chapter 19: The End of a Long Day

Chapter 20: Henry-Clay

Chapter 21: A Visit to Leavenworth

Chapter 22: A Noose Tightens

Chapter 23: Stanstead

Chapter 24: Charles Cleareyes

Chapter 25: Return to Manhattan

Chapter 26: Josh

Chapter 27: A Little Acting

Chapter 28: Garden State

Chapter 29: Mac and Henry-Clay

Chapter 30: B

Chapter 31: Decker and Yslan

Chapter 32: Seth

Chapter 33: Henry-Clay

Chapter 34: What's a Lie

Chapter 35: Has Anyone Seen Mike?

Chapter 36: Movements Toward New Jersey

Chapter 37: Insurance

Chapter 38: Escape

Chapter 39: Hiding—A Column of Smoke Within a Fog

Chapter 40: Yslan In Motion

Chapter 41: A Cold Day in New York

Chapter 42: Emerson Remi

Chapter 43: Semblant Order

Chapter 44: On the Bus

Chapter 45: A Cold Night in Toronto

Chapter 46: Cincinnati, Ohio

Chapter 47: Cincinnati, Ohio, Two

Chapter 48: Give Dreadful Note of Preparation

Chapter 49: Fight in a Synagogue

Chapter 50: After

Chapter 51: Home?

Chapter 52: Crazy Eddie

Chapter 53: The Rothko Chapel

Chapter 54: Dream Healing

Chapter 55: The Junction—End, Full Stop.

About the Author

The earth hath bubbles, as the water has, and these are of them.

M
ACBETH
, A
CT
1, S
CENE
3

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I'd like to thank Alison Clarke and Kevin Hanson at Simon & Schuster Canada for their support and valuable input as this manuscript took shape. As well I owe a debt of thanks to Michael Levine, my agent and friend, who has been in my corner for many years now. In addition I'd like to acknowledge the talents of the teachers who work with me at Pro Actors Lab: Bruce, Rae Ellen, John, Marvin, Melee and Glen. Last, and most important, I want to thank the many gifted actors who have submitted to what were at one time my experiments and are now common practices in the profession. This book could not have happened without their talents.

PROLOGUE

You can't understand how a man lives his life until you understand what he thinks is going to happen to him after he dies.

—A
TTRIBUTED TO DAG HAMMARSKJÖLD, FORMER SECRETARY GENERAL OF THE UNITED NATIONS

DECKER FELT HIMSELF SLIPPING. HE TRIED TO PULL HIMSELF
back—to make it stop. But he felt the cold, and knew there would be blood on his right hand if he looked.

“We do what we do to find our place in the universe,” someone said.

Decker knew where he was. It was 1988; he was twenty-two years old.

He was on the obligatory European promenade between second and third year at university and on a whim had hitchhiked one night down from Paris to Chartres. At dawn he found himself on the steps of the ancient cathedral beside many other backpacked vagabonds. He watched as the day's first light brought the twelve figures above the massive front doors to life. Each figure's fine facial features slowly awakening and accepting their job of both welcoming and warning the faithful.

“It never fails to thrill me,” the same high-class male British voice said.

Decker turned and was surprised to find the voice belonged to a tall, gaunt, middle-aged man wearing a threadbare suit—and not sixteen inches from his left ear.

“Do you know them? Can't understand the message unless you know each statue's story. The left side of the central door has five figures. From outer to inner they follow a chronological order. Outermost is Melchizedek, then Abraham (holding Isaac, whom he is about to sacrifice—note the trapped ram on the pedestal), then Moses holding a tablet and pointing to a brazen serpent, fourth is Samuel sacrificing a lamb, and finally King David carrying a crown of thorns. In some way they all prefigure Christ's sacrifice and passion. You see,” he pointed expansively to the figures, “all the Old Testament prophets lead to the arrival of the King Himself.”

Decker was going to counter that the Old Testament had been rearranged by the newly formed Christians so that it appeared that the prophets and the line of David led directly to the arrival of Christ, but the original order of the Old Testament did nothing of the sort. But before he could speak, the man put out his hand. “Brother Malcolm. I lecture at ten and one and four every day except Sunday, naturally.” Then he said the oddest thing. “Yes, the testaments have been rearranged. But sometimes the truth—His truth—needs to be bolstered by a bit of trickery. The falseness does not make the truth any less valid.”

Decker spotted Brother Malcolm again just before ten that morning. He joined the small crowd around the man and listened intently for the hour plus of the man's lecture about the flooring of the east transept and its door leading to what used to be called the Rue des Juifs. At the end of the lecture Brother Malcolm cupped his hands in front of his chest and announced, “I am a mendicant. I live on the generosity of others.” The thirty-odd people who had taken in the lecture put coins and notes into his hands.

At one o'clock that afternoon Decker listened for almost two hours as Brother Malcolm explained in great detail the workings of a cathedral's flying buttress system.

Then at four o'clock he heard Brother Malcolm, brilliantly and in remarkable depth, shed light on the carvings, drawings and
paintings at the first three stations of the cross. Surprisingly, at least to Decker, Brother Malcolm passed right by a newly bricked-in doorway. Beside the door was a small covered opening just large enough for food to be passed through. Decker was about to ask about it when Brother Malcolm shook his head, as if he knew the question before Decker asked it, and he wasn't going to answer.

Decker didn't remember where he slept that night or the next or the next. But he did remember in vivid detail Brother Malcolm's next nine lectures. At the end of the ninth—on the steps of the west transept entrance—he went to put some coins in Brother Malcolm's cupped hands when the man said to him, “Stand beside me with your hands out as mine are.”

Decker never forgot the feeling of the first coin landing in his palm or the feeling of a burden laid down. Later that night, Decker found himself on the front steps of the cathedral again. And as he slept on his backpack he heard Brother Malcolm ask him, “So, have you decided to stay? I've waited a long time. I'm getting old and someone has to take over my ministry when I'm gone. I'll teach you what I know and this great place of faith will be your home.” Then he added with a knowing look, “It is another path, a way to avoid the room with no windows—and the hanging man.”

In his dream that night Decker closed his eyes—deeper darkness within the darkness of sleep—and watched his retina screen. Two identical cubes entered from the left side and slid majestically into the centre—perfect geometric shapes. Brother Malcolm was telling the truth.

Decker felt the cold envelop him and the slime of blood between his fingers. He opened his eyes within the dream and begged the dream to end.

Decker left Chartres before daybreak—but he never left it very far behind.

1
THE DANGEROUS VOYAGE OF MIKE SHEDLOSKI BEGINS

ON THE SIDEWALK, ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE MASSIVE
headquarters of Yolles Pharmaceuticals, a six-foot stack of bottles of all sizes and shapes were miraculously balanced, one upon the next, creating the most unlikely tree under the heavens.

Mike Shedloski, a pear-shaped man wearing a dirty Michelin Man coat and frayed bell-bottoms, stood, fat fists pressed against his nonexistent waist, admiring his handiwork. A few feet away, another miracle of balance, this time made from random stones and twice the size of the tree, was clearly a representation of an office tower of some sort.

Mike picked up a hand-painted sign that, in angry red letters, asked “What's Your Ratio!” then began to shout across the road, “Tell the Enemy I worked here. I worked here, I worked here, tell the Enemy that!”

Two security guards, one big the other bigger, raced across the street, nightsticks at the ready.

Mike repeated his claim—“I worked here!”—as the bigger of the security guards grabbed him.

“I worked here.”

“Sure you did,” the security guard said as the other one knocked down the office tower statue with one simple push. When it fell it revealed another hand-painted sign: “Who's Jumping Now?”

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