The Pleasure Series: Complete Box Set (81 page)

My pillow was wet with tears when I woke, the echo of laughter still in my ears. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the last vestiges of my nightmare. I wiped at my cheeks, but they were dry now. The details of things were slipping away, but I knew the gist of what had happened.

It wasn't real, I reminded myself. Not a memory of any kind. Rylan would never do anything like that. Even Zeke and Suzette, as much as they disliked me, never would have been involved in anything remotely that cruel. Zeke may have had a bad temper, but what had happened in my nightmare wasn't that kind of violence. I knew the difference.

Still, I began to shiver and pulled my blankets more tightly around me. I'd spent enough time with Dr. MacLeod to know that while, sometimes, a dream is just a dream, other times, it's the subconscious telling us to deal with things that we'd rather not face. I knew which this had been.

Chapter 17

I'd behaved myself and not hacked into either my or my mother's files. I trusted that what Agent Matthews had told me was true. I didn't, however, stop looking into that website I'd found. It was the weekend, so I doubted anyone was going to get around to shutting things down before Monday, no matter what kind of priority Agent Matthews put on it, which meant I had two days to find something that would either prove or disprove my suspicions.

Saturday night, I managed to break through the last level of encryption and find what I was looking for. An address. The person who'd set up the site had been good, rerouting things so that the IP address didn't show its true location. I was just better. Once I had the address, the rest was easy. A bit of digging into county records and I had a nice little pile of evidence to take to Agent Matthews.

When I walked into the police station on Monday morning, I had a paper file as well as a flash drive with all of the same information. I'd made copies of both and had the originals on my laptop back home. I wasn't about to risk someone accidentally losing my work or the evidence mysteriously disappearing simply because WITSEC was involved. I didn't know how trustworthy any of them were. It was hard enough trusting Agent Matthews with this information.

“Great work this week,” Agent Matthews said as he motioned for me to sit. “My bosses are quite impressed with how well your software is working. They'd really like to sit down and talk to you about allowing other agents to use it.”

“I'm sure I can work out some sort of arrangement,” I said. “I'm not looking to sell my programs outright, but I'd have no problem allowing them to be used, for a small fee, of course.”

“You're going to charge the US government to use your programs?”

I wasn't sure if he was amused or annoyed. “I wrote them long before the FBI asked me to use them. They’re mine. I didn't use anything of the FBI's in their design.”

He shrugged. “I'll pass that along.”

“And you can tell them they can contact me directly, if you're not comfortable being the go-between.” I set the file and the flash drive on the table. “I sent you the week's reports, but I wanted to bring these in person. I've been working on it off the clock.”

He took the file and opened it.

“As you can see, the website I found leads back to the address where my mother's been staying for the last eight years.” My fingers were twisting together so tightly that my knuckles were turning white. “I've been able to link her recent activity to six different child pornography sites, all run by different men. I have their names and addresses too. I don't know whose kids they're using, but at least one of them used images I recently scrubbed.”

Agent Matthews didn't say anything for several minutes as he read through my information. “You obtained these names and addresses without a warrant,” he said.

“Didn't need one,” I said, stretching the truth a bit. “Even though I wasn't doing this on company time, I made sure that I did things by the book. Once I found the physical address where the IP was located, I just used public county records to see who lived there. I did the same for the others.”

He looked at me, his expression unreadable. “Why didn't you do it on company time?”

“Because there was a chance the marshals would get involved and shut me down before I could find anything out.” I leaned forward slightly. “Maybe this is a sting operation and I'm wrong. It's possible, but my gut is telling me that's not the case.”

“You really think your mother would risk being kicked out of the program?”

“I think she's a junkie who knows how to make fast money,” I said. “And I think eight years is a long time to go without a fix, especially if she never wanted to stop in the first place.”

“You do know that she's been given random drug tests over the years? Staying clean is part of the program.”

“I know that she was smart enough to convince the DA that she was a victim,” I said. “I don't want that happening again. She needs to be in prison.”

“I can open a case,” he said. “But I can't make any promises.”

My mouth flattened into a thin line. “She got a second chance based on manipulation and lies. Look what she's done with it. If she waited a year before getting back into it, I'll be shocked.”

“The thing is, Jenna...” His use of my first name made my temper flare. He was trying to placate me. “The connections you have here, those guys are the bigger fish and we both know if your mom flips on them, she's going to come out ahead.”

“There's enough evidence in those files that you shouldn't need my mother's testimony.” I fought to keep my voice calm.

“I'll do what I can,” he said. “But it's out of my hands when it comes to deals. The federal prosecutor will be the one to have the final say.” He hesitated, and then added, “And based on how things went with Christophe Constantine, I wouldn't count on anything.”

I immediately went from hot to cold. “What about Christophe?”

Agent Matthews looked distinctly uncomfortable, which only made me feel worse. “The prosecutor called me this morning to tell me that the deal's done. I can head back to Denver by the end of the week.”

“What sort of deal?” My lips felt numb, like they'd been shot full of Novocain or something.

“You won't need to testify,” he began.

“Just tell me.” The words came out a bit harder than I'd planned, but Agent Matthews didn't seem offended.

“For his testimony, Christophe is getting no jail time, minimum probation and witness protection after the trials.”

I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.

“He gets to stay out on bail until he testifies, and because he'll be given a new name, he won't be registered as a sex offender.”

“You promised.” I spoke in barely a whisper. “You said you'd make sure he couldn't hurt anyone else; that he'd at least be on the registry so people could know.”

“I'm sorry, Jenna.” He sighed. “I didn't realize how badly Matthew St. Clair wanted to take down the guys Christophe had information on. I trusted the bastard to do the right thing.”

“And I trusted you.” I looked at the file I'd spent the weekend putting together. “She's going to get away with it again, you know.”

“The marshals told me that they were putting Christophe under more strict supervision than their usual witnesses,” Agent Matthews said suddenly. He ran his hand over his face. “I'm sorry I talked you into letting us take over the case. If we'd stayed out of it, Christophe probably wouldn't even be out on bail and he'd be serving the max for all of his crimes. Instead, he basically gets a walk on everything.”

I had no doubt that Agent Matthews was right. Rylan had made it clear to the local authorities that he'd wanted Christophe prosecuted with everything they could find. He would've pushed until he was sure we were safe; I was safe. He'd understood why I'd agreed, and hadn't pushed it, but now I wished he had. I wished I would've thought it through more, maybe gotten some things in writing.

It was too late now though. I pushed back the regrets. Dwelling on it wouldn't do anyone any good. Besides, I thought grimly, Christophe would slip up. Pedophiles always did. I just hoped it was something small and no one else got hurt because of it. As for my mother...

“I'll do my best to see that your mother's prosecuted for real this time,” Agent Matthews said. “I'll even take in your grand jury testimony against Christophe.”

“How's that going to help?” I asked. I'd felt so good about the case I'd put together and now I was seeing it fall apart.

“You're consistent,” he said. “Showing the prosecutor that your original grand jury testimony against your mother matches what you said about her recently should convince him that her statements about you being confused were lies.”

“Will that even make a difference?” I asked.

My previous feeling of helplessness was returning. What good was doing all this work if it was just going to be used to flip people? I knew they were trying to cut the head off of the snake, but in trying to get to the top, they were letting go all of the little people, and those would be the ones to step in and fill the void once arrests were finally made. Like that mythological creature, the hydra, where multiple heads would grow back when one was cut off. It was a never-ending, never winning, battle.

“I don't know if it will or not,” Agent Matthews admitted. “But it's the best we can do.”

I nodded and stood up. “Thank you.”

I walked out before he could say anything else. The best he could do. The worst part was, I knew he was telling the truth. The prosecutor would look at the evidence I'd gathered and, to make his case stronger, would choose who he saw as the weakest link, the least offensive one, and that would be who got a deal. And I knew who would look that way. It wouldn't matter that she'd been arrested before, or that she was violating her WITSEC agreement. He would see what she wanted him to see. A poor woman, an addict who was exploited by perverts into giving them what they wanted. She'd use her previous arrest as proof that she was susceptible to such manipulation and intimidation. She'd cry and swear that she never wanted to hurt anyone.

And the moron would most likely buy her story and cut another deal.

I blinked against the bright sunlight as I stepped outside. It was still morning and I had work to do, but tonight, I was going out. Not to the gym or anything like that. I was heading to a club to dance and drink and flirt. I didn't think I was ready to hook up yet, not after the last disastrous attempt, but I could have a bit of fun anyway. And, right now, I could seriously use a bit of fun.

Chapter 18

I left off the eyebrow and belly button piercings. I hadn't been wearing them much anyway. I kept the make-up light as well. A little heavier than what I wore to meet Agent Matthews, but not even close to what I'd worn before. I wasn't going back to the way I had been, but I wasn't going to go the total opposite either. I'd pick a place about halfway in-between, I decided. The clothes were still fitted to show off my body, but I went for comfortable but stylish shoes rather than heeled boots. When I looked in the mirror this time, I felt pretty good. Not great and not like I was completely back to myself, but I was getting there, and that was progress.

I didn't go back to the club I'd tried the last time. I wasn't looking for a random hook-up and I didn't want to risk running into Chad. I doubted he'd be feeling too friendly towards me and a confrontation was the last thing I needed at the moment. I just wanted to forget, but not to lose myself in a man. There wouldn't be another man in my life anytime soon.

I smiled as I walked into the club. I'd always liked this club better. The music was loud, but more than just a beat. The lights were flashing, but more hypnotically than the nearly overwhelming pulsing of the previous club. I made my way over to the bar. I didn't want to get drunk, but something to take the edge off would be nice.

The bartender gave me a once-over as he poured my drink and I could see the appreciation in his eyes. Surprisingly, he didn't hit on me, though I suspected that was more because it was too early in his shift to try to find someone to go home with. Too bad. He was cute and I might've enjoyed a bit of flirting. I didn't want to get him in trouble with his boss, so I left him alone and surveyed the crowd as I sipped my drink.

The place wasn't nearly as crowded tonight as it would be on the weekend, which was another reason I'd wanted to come out on a Monday night. I'd always preferred slower nights. Enough men to choose from, but I didn't have to risk a panic attack from too many people.

“Can I ask you to dance?” A man's voice came from my right.

I half-turned towards him. He was tall and lean with dark hair and eyes, skin the color of creamed coffee. He had the kind of long eyelashes that girls would envy. All in all, a quite beautiful man. He still couldn't hold a candle to Rylan, but I thought he might be a good distraction.

“I might be up for a dance or two,” I said. I took his hand and let him lead me onto the dance floor.

His hand stayed in mine as we began to dance, but he kept a respectful distance between our bodies. I smiled at him, letting myself relax and move with the music. Halfway through the song, he leaned down to speak in my ear.

“I have a confession to make.”

I looked up at him, wondering if I should yank my hand away from his or if I should wait. The conversation could be something innocent, like some sort of clichéd pick-up line about how beautiful he thought I was or how much he wanted me in bed.

“I'm gay.”

I blinked, startled by the admission. Not exactly what I'd been thinking.

He grinned. “You looked like you wanted to have fun, but not like you were looking for a hook-up. I wanted to dance, but I didn't want to give the wrong impression.” He gave me an apologetic look. “Sorry I wasn't upfront with you.”

“Not a problem.” I was actually relieved. Hot guy to dance with, but absolutely no chance of there being a sexual misunderstanding.

“So we're good?” He raised an eyebrow and looked around. “I'm sure there are plenty of men who'd love to be in my place.”

“I'm having fun,” I said truthfully. “Are you?”