The Pool of St. Branok (47 page)

He laughed. “That suggests that you think Ben is very attractive and I am no longer so.”

“I didn’t mean that. You’ll always be attractive … both of you.”

“That reminds me of another quotation. This is our honored friend, Disraeli. ‘Everyone likes flattery but when you come to royalty you must lay it on with a trowel.’ Is that what you are doing now, my dear, laying it on with a trowel?”

“Indeed not … but I do always think of you as King of the family so you are royalty in a way. But what I said is true and has nothing to do with your status.”

“You are a dear girl. You remind me of your grandmother. I was very sad when she died. It seemed such a terrible end for someone so bright and attractive … and so young. Oh dear, you are making me morbid. And here is my noble daughter-in-law Frances coming towards us. I shall leave you with her for she is such a righteous lady who always reminds me of the sinner I am.”

“Dear Uncle Peter, it is so good to be with you.”

“Ah, Frances,” he said. “Where is Peterkin? Oh, I see … over there. I daresay you are longing to have a talk with Angelet. I shall leave you together. I must have a word with some of the guests.”

Peterkin joined us. He and Frances told me how pleased they were to see me, and they asked if I intended to stay long in London.

“It depends,” I said. “I haven’t made up my mind. I have the house here and I can be completely independent which is very pleasant. Not that I haven’t been given wonderful hospitality by Uncle Peter and Aunt Amaryllis.”

“I understand that you like your independence,” said Frances. “You might like to come to see us at the Mission.”

“I intended to invite myself if you didn’t ask me,” I said.

“My dear, there is no need to wait for invitations, is there, Peterkin?”

“Of course there is not. We’d love to see you there. We might even make use of you.”

“There is always a great deal to do,” explained Frances, “especially now we have enlarged the place considerably. We have the house next door now which has made us almost double the size. We have big kitchens. We make gallons of soup each day, don’t we, Peterkin? Good nourishing stuff. We’re always looking for someone to give a hand.”

“Most of our workers,” Peterkin explained, “work because they believe in what we are doing. So we have to have most people of independent means. We can’t afford to pay many people. We need all the money we can get for the work.”

“I know you have done wonders.”

“A lot has been due to my generous father-in-law,” said Frances. “He is very helpful, particularly when there is some political crisis and he wants to call attention to the family’s good works. Matthew benefits from it. And all he asks is that it is known where the help comes from. A small price to pay for the goods, as I always say.”

Frances was a little cynical about Uncle Peter. I knew there was always a motive behind almost everything he did—but he did give the money to the Mission which had made a great deal of difference to it.

“Well, do come along, soon,” said Frances.

And I promised I would.

Dinner was a sparkling occasion. Ben, from the top of the table, led the conversation which was amusing, witty and topical, and there were many references to what was going on in the political field. Many of them seemed to be on intimate terms with “Dizzy” and Mr. Gladstone and Her Majesty herself. There were references to the Queen’s gillie, John Brown, who, some thought, was more than her gillie; they talked of the rather scandalous cartoons appearing in the press, and speculated as to whether the sly gossip would bring the Queen out of her retirement.

I noticed that Grace joined in the conversation and seemed to be as knowledgeable as any of them. Lizzie said hardly a word. She sat at the end of the table, opposite Ben, an unwilling hostess. She looked at times as though she were going to burst into tears and I noticed how often her eyes strayed to Grace, who was seated a pace or two away from her. But Grace was engaged in animated conversation and did not look poor Lizzie’s way.

I wished I was nearer to her so that I could talk to her.

I was very much aware of Ben. There he sat at the head of the table so assured, certain that very soon he would be in Parliament. All he needed was an election. I felt he was certain to win.

Once or twice he caught my eyes and smiled at me. I think he guessed what was in my thoughts. I had a stupid impression that he was doing all this for my benefit … reminding me that he was the kind of person who always won.

After dinner the ladies went to the drawing room, leaving the men at the table with the port.

I saw Lizzie then and I said: “It was a most successful party, Lizzie.”

“Yes,” she said.

Then Grace came up.

“You were very good, Lizzie,” she said.

“Was I?” asked Lizzie.

“Oh yes. It’s getting easier, isn’t it? Isn’t it lovely to have Angelet here?”

“You’ve been living in the country, haven’t you?” said Lizzie.

“Yes … with my parents.”

“That must have been nice.”

“Very nice.”

“I hope I shall see the dear little baby.”

“Oh, you mustn’t call Rebecca a baby. She wouldn’t like that. She’s a little girl now and wants everyone to know it.”

Lizzie laughed delightedly and the furrow disappeared from her brow.

I said: “Pedrek is the same. He’s quite a little man. They play together. They love the parks. I’ll bring them to see you sometime. May I?”

“Oh please do.”

Before the men returned Lizzie took me up to her bedroom. There was a special room set aside for the ladies, but she took me to hers. I fancied she wanted to speak to me alone.

I could see that this was not in any sense Ben’s room. So they occupied separate rooms, I thought.

She said: “It’s nearly over now, isn’t it?”

“Nearly over?”

“This evening.”

“Oh yes. We shall soon be gone and you will have your lovely house all to yourselves.”

“I didn’t mean that.”

She looked at me and suddenly flung her arms about me, starting to cry.

“Oh, Lizzie, Lizzie,” I said, “what is it? Don’t cry, there’s a dear. It will make your eyes red … and you wouldn’t want people to see.”

“Oh no … no …” She began to tremble.

I helped her dry her eyes. “What’s wrong, Lizzie?” I asked gently.

“I … I want to go home … I’m no good at this. I shouldn’t have come.”

“You mean meeting all these people?”

“I don’t know what to say to them. Grace tells me … and I say something … but I don’t know what to do next. I’ll never know. I’m just not clever like they are. I know Ben wishes he hadn’t married me.”

“Has he said so?” I demanded sharply.

She shook her head. “But I know.”

“Isn’t he … kind to you?”

“Oh, he’s very kind … he’s always kind … He’s patient … You see he has to be patient. He ought to have married Grace.”

I wanted to say: But she could not bring him a gold mine. But what I did say was: “He married
you,
Lizzie, because he wanted to.”

“I think my father persuaded him.”

Poor Lizzie. I was overcome with pity for her. I felt I hated Ben then. He had found the gold in the creek that day … kept it secret, tried to buy the land, and when he couldn’t he had married Lizzie and thrust her into a life for which she was most unsuited.

“All this, Lizzie, this entertaining and meeting people … It’s not important really.”

“Oh it is. … It is to Ben. It’s because he’s going into Parliament. Then it will be worse. I’ll never be able to do that. I try …”

“You do very well …”

“I’m not clever … I’m not clever enough for Ben.”

“Men don’t like clever women, you know.”

She stared at me.

“No,” I elaborated. “They like to think they are the clever ones. I know some clever women who pretend to be less clever … so that the men like them.”

She shook her head. “You’re trying to comfort me,” she said. “Oh, Angelet, it’s so hard. I worry.”

“You mustn’t, Lizzie.”

“Grace has been so good. But she is not there all the time. She helps me. She tells me what to wear and what to say … but I still don’t do it right. I can’t sleep at night. I lie awake thinking about it and wishing I was back and Dad was alive and nothing had changed.”

“Oh, Lizzie, you mustn’t feel that. You are married to Ben and you can see how highly thought-of he is.”

“That’s what troubles me. I ought not to have married Ben.”

“But, Lizzie, you
are
married to him. Think that without you he would not have all this. You brought him the mine, didn’t you? He owes a great deal to you. I am sure he knows that. You see, you are not looking at this clearly. Do you love him?”

She nodded.

“Well then, everything will be all right.”

“I have Grace … and now you. I can’t sleep though. I feel better when I do. Grace got something for me to make me sleep.”

“Oh, what was it?”

“I’ve forgotten the name. It’s on the bottle. I’ll show you.”

She opened a drawer and took out a bottle.

“Laudanum,” I said aghast.

“It’s good, Angelet. It makes me sleep. You mustn’t take more than it says or you would get too sleepy.”

“Perhaps you should see a doctor. Ask his advice about taking this stuff.”

She shrank. “I couldn’t do that. I’m not ill. I just get worried and then I can’t sleep. I feel better when I take this. I sleep and sleep. Then I wake up and feel better. Things always seem different in the mornings.”

“I don’t know whether you should be taking that, Lizzie. Does Ben know?”

She shook her head. “You won’t tell him, will you? I wouldn’t want him to know I was worried.”

“No, I won’t tell him. But will you see a doctor? I know you have to be careful with laudanum and things like that …”

“Grace says people have it for all sorts of things. It stops toothache. Though I haven’t that … but it makes you sleep. It really does.”

“Do see a doctor, Lizzie, and make sure it is all right. He might give you something else to take for sleeplessness.”

“Yes,” she said.

“Look, Lizzie, you and I are going to see each other … often. We have so much to talk about, and I shall bring Rebecca to see you. Morwenna will bring Pedrek.”

“Promise,” she said.

“I promise, and you will see a doctor. Now I think we ought to go down.”

When we returned to the drawing room the men were already there.

We talked for a while in little groups. I saw Justin in earnest conversation with Grace. Ben came over to me. He sat close to me and asked if I had enjoyed the evening.

“Very interesting,” I replied.

“And you approve of my house?”

“I think it is very suitable for your purposes.”

“I take it that means approval. It is wonderful for me to see you here. You won’t try to avoid me, will you?”

“I don’t know. It depends on what happens.”

“If I can see you sometimes life will be a great deal more tolerable to me.”

“I thought it was highly tolerable. Here you are the epitome of success.”

“It’s rather an empty sort of success.”

“Did you think of that when you were weighing up the carats? And now here you are poised to take parliamentary England by storm.”

“How dramatic you are! You always were.” He moved a little nearer to me. He was looking at me quizzically, I thought.

I said: “Don’t be too effusive. People will notice.”

“I don’t see how I am going to hide my feelings for you.”

“Then in the circumstances it would be better if we did not meet.”

“Perhaps not in public. But somewhere … alone.”

“I have no intention of indulging in a clandestine adventure.”

“We will meet somewhere. Let’s go up the river … somewhere where we can talk.”

I ignored that. I said: “I have been talking to Lizzie. She is not very happy,” I added.

He was silent.

I said: “Is it fair to take her gold mine and with the proceeds thrust her into a life she hates?”

“We share the mine,” he said.

“I thought a married woman’s property became her husband’s. What a pernicious law!”

“I would not dream of taking from Lizzie what is hers,” he said. “I try very hard to give her what she wants.”

“I think what she wants is a quiet life in the country … something rather like that which she enjoyed before her marriage.”

“She will grow to like this. She was so pleased when she heard you were coming.”

Grace had come over and taken the seat on the other side of Ben.

“It has been a most successful evening,” she said. “I do congratulate you, Ben.”

“It’s not over yet,” he reminded her.

“I thought it went very well indeed. I noticed Lord Lazenby was most amused by the cartoons of H.M.”

“He would be. He is very anti-monarchy. I can’t think why, with his background, he should be, except that he has always been perverse.”

“It was great fun. Oh, look at poor Lizzie. She’s all alone. Do come with me, Angelet. I must look after her.”

“Yes,” I said and we rose. Ben gave me a regretful look which I ignored; and we went and talked to Lizzie.

She was grateful and we stayed with her for the rest of the evening.

When I returned home I felt elated but melancholy. I was completely fascinated by Ben. I should have so much enjoyed helping him in his political battles. They said Mary Anne Disraeli was a wonderful wife to her husband. She herself had stated that he had married her for her money but if he had to do it again he would marry her for love. Perhaps it would be like that with Lizzie. Mrs. Disraeli always waited up for her husband to come home from the House and however late, she would have a cold supper waiting for him. “My dear,” he was reputed to have said, “you are more like a mistress than a wife.” Charming in its cynicism. But Lizzie was no Mary Anne Disraeli.

I felt very sad about the situation I had witnessed that night; and it was not only because I had had it brought home to me all that I had missed.

Poor Lizzie, she would never change. When I looked into her clear blue eyes I could see her struggling with herself. Grace had been good to her but Grace could not be beside her all the time … as had been seen tonight.