The Price of Disrespect (Gray Spear Society Book 6) (22 page)

She lowered her eyes and said, "Thank you, sir. I'm very proud of it. Of course, having a billion dollar budget helped."

Tawni's jaw dropped. She had no idea what a billion dollars even looked like.

"Money well spent," Aaron said. "It's up to the rest of us to fill this place with trophies from successful missions. We lost our old trophies when we lost the headquarters on Wacker. The new set will be even better."

Several people glanced at Norbert, and he stared down at his food. Tawni wondered what the story was.

"Let's eat!" Aaron said.

The team ate like professionals. A surprisingly large amount of food disappeared in a hurry with a minimum of chit-chat.

Tawni was very hungry and ate plenty of everything. She tried the caviar and was disappointed. It just tasted like salt water mixed with a little fish broth. She didn't understand why rich people went crazy over the stuff. Of course, she didn't understand rich people in general.

By the end she was stuffed. There were leftovers but less than she had expected.

"Smythe, Odelia, and Tawni," Aaron said. "You're on clean up duty."

Tawni looked at the big table full of dirty dishes. Pots and pans filled the sink. Cleaning up the mess was going to take a while.

"Fine," she said bitterly, "as long as they do their share."

"What does that mean?" Aaron said.

"I just don't want to be treated like a servant girl."

"That's not going to happen while I'm in charge."

Tawni sniffed. "You don't know what it's like to be a black woman in a white man's world."

"I do know what it's like to be the commander of a
legionnaire
with a miserable attitude. For that, you get to do all the dishes by yourself."

"All of them?" she said in a tone of disbelief.

"Clean the oven while you're at it."

"That's not fair!"

He leaned forward. "Are you refusing an order?"

"Why should I have to clean up after everybody?" she whined. "I didn't do anything wrong."

He stood up abruptly with a furious scowl on his face. "Come with me. We're going to talk outside." He left the kitchen.

Everybody was staring at Tawni. She realized she had let her big mouth get her into trouble again.

She hurried out of the kitchen. Aaron was walking swiftly towards one of the stairwells that led up to the roof. She followed, staying a few paces behind.

She emerged into a cool, still night. A combination of clouds and street lights hid the stars, but she could see the half-moon. Mist in the air made the lunar edges fuzzy.

Aaron was holding a gun aimed at her chest. "Stand at the edge of the roof."

"Yes, sir," she replied in her humblest voice.

The roof had a low lip around the edge. She walked over until her feet were about a foot away from it.

"Closer," he said. "As close as you can get."

She gulped in fear. Was he going to push her off the building? His gun was locked onto her, and there was no way she could escape. She certainly couldn't fight him.

She backed up until her heels were against the lip. She looked over her shoulder at the ground far below. It was a long fall. She would have some time to think about it before she splattered on the ground.

"You stand at the precipice," Aaron said, "figuratively and literally. My position is easy to understand. I'm fighting a war, and I need good soldiers around me. You served in the military, so you must understand. At the moment, you're not a good soldier. You're rude, disruptive, and disrespectful."

"I'll try harder, sir. I'm sorry."

"I'm not convinced."

Smythe and Wesley came up the stairs and walked onto the roof. They stood well back.

"Sir," Smythe said, "do you mind if we observe?"

"You can stay," Aaron replied. He turned his attention back to Tawni. "I tried to be patient. I understand the last two days have been very rough for you. You're suddenly in a different world than the one you knew. I haven't forgotten the death of your mother, either, but my tolerance and compassion have reached their limits. If this behavior continues, I can't have you on my team."

"I can quit?" Tawni said hopefully.

He shook his head. "Let me put it another way. When this conversation ends, you'll either be a good soldier or a dead soldier."

In his soft, gray robes, he was a dark figure. Shadows obscured his face, and she only saw the whites of his eyes in the moonlight.

"I never wanted to be a soldier, sir," she said.

"You want to fight," he said. "That's very clear. You love battle. Your problem is following orders."

"Nobody likes to follow orders."

"Intelligent people understand when it's necessary. Smythe certainly has a rebellious streak. He's a very stubborn man, and he often tries to manipulate me when he thinks he knows better. The difference between you and him is that he's always respectful. He accepts my authority in the end no matter how much he disagrees. He never embarrasses me in front of the team. You could learn a lot from him if you paid attention."

Tawni looked at Smythe. He stood with his arms crossed and watched her with a blank expression. If he were concerned about her imminent death, he wasn't showing it.

"I'll try to learn, sir," she said.

"We're past the point of trying and hoping," Aaron said. "I need to know why you insist on dominating every situation. You're unable to just do what you're told. Whatever is going on, we have to fix it right now, or you'll die."

"I am who I am, sir. I'm not broken."

"You have no idea?"

She shook her head. "I make mistakes and run my mouth sometimes, but so does everybody."

Wesley had an annoying smirk on his face.

Tawni glared at him. "Are you having fun, you little brat? You want to see Aaron kill me?"

"It's hilarious," he said. "You're so smart, but you can't see something so obvious."

"Shut up. I've had enough of you. Everybody acts like you're made of solid gold, but I think you're just a fucking punk."

"I'm the Beacon of Light."

She rolled her eyes. "Beacon of bullshit is more like it. Beacon of whining."

He walked towards her. "You're doing it again. The same dumb behavior. You can't help yourself."

"I'm just telling the truth."

He laughed. "You're telling
me
the truth? I
am
the truth."

"You're nothing."

"I could take you down any time I want."

"You're going to beat me up?" She sneered.

"I don't even have to touch you. One simple question is all it would take. Four little words from my mouth will make you cry like a baby. You'll pee in your pants. You'll get on your knees with snot running from your nose and beg Aaron to forgive you. I will strip your soul bare."

"You're going to fight me with words?"

"Words that will crush you." He stopped walking.

They were only a few feet apart. His crazy, blue eyes glittered in the night, and they made her uneasy.

"You don't scare me," she said, "twerp."

He furrowed his brow. "I swore I wouldn't use my gift, but I'll make an exception this time. I'm doing it for me, not you. This is going to be fun. Ready?"

"Whatever."

He looked at her intently. "Why are you angry?"

"Because Aaron..."

Suddenly, his eyes became blue vortices that sucked her in. Her voice was stopped in her throat. She fell into a limitless pool of white light.

Her mind soaked up the light like a dry sponge in water. It penetrated the dark crevices and illuminated the hidden passages. The bright white light filled her world until all the shadows were gone. There was no place left to hide. She couldn't lie to herself anymore.

She discovered she was in a white room containing two people: Tawni and Tawni. She saw herself as others saw her. She was a foul, violent, unpleasant bitch. Men wanted her for her body, but she always drove them away before long. Women just hated her from the start. Her head contained plenty of intelligence, but whenever she opened her mouth, stupidity fell out. It was a horrifying vision. She wanted to deny the truth of it, but it was right in front of her eyes.

"Why are you angry?" Wesley said.

The question fell on her mind like a sledgehammer made of white light. Her mental defenses shattered. The internal walls just evaporated.

"Please," she whimpered. "Stop."

"Why are you angry?"

She squirmed as the question burrowed into her psyche like a dog digging for a buried bone. It was worse than being raped, and she knew what that felt like.

The last vestiges of her mental armor were torn away. She was left staring at her naked emotional core. It was a sad, twisted thing. Some wounds had turned into scars and others were still bleeding. She hadn't known she was so damaged, or maybe she had just pretended not to know.

Tawni prayed it was over. She had no strength left. Wesley had clearly won this fight.

"Why are you angry?" he said.

The question smashed her again. It probed her childhood memories like a torch lighting a dark cave. There would be an answer no matter how much it hurt coming out.

She was back in the white room again. This time she saw herself as a frightened little girl.

"My dad," she whispered.

"He left you," Wesley said.

"When I was a baby. My mother had relationships with other men... bad relationships."

Tawni had found the core of her anger. These were the awful experiences she had tried to forget.

"Tell me." His blue eyes sparkled.

She used all her willpower to resist him, but it was like battling a tsunami. The words were pulled out of her throat.

"They exploited and abused her," she sobbed. "They treated her like shit. They fucked her and stole her money. She didn't have the strength to make them stop. I swore..."

He leaned towards her. "What?"

"That I would never be a victim like her. I would always be strong."

She dropped to her knees, utterly spent. It had to be over because there was nothing left to say. Her deepest shame was out there for the whole world to see.

"Let me go, please," she moaned.

"Not yet. The most important truth is left."

"I told you everything."

"Then I'll tell you." He stepped forward until their noses almost touched. "You're still a victim, just as much as your mother was. Those men made you a bitter, angry person. Every time those feelings control you, you suffer even more. You're weak, not strong. Your past holds you down like the shackles of a slave."

He held her in the white flame of truth like a marshmallow roasting in a fire. The torment went on and on. The last wisps of her denial went up in smoke. The kid was absolutely right. She had become exactly the opposite of what she wanted to be. Seeing herself this way was the worst experience of her life.

He walked away. Now it was over.

Tawni fell on her face, too weak to hold herself up. She sobbed like a baby just as Wesley had predicted. She didn't know if her pants were wet, but it wouldn't have surprised her. She was passed the point of feeling embarrassment.

Aaron walked over to her. He remained silent as she continued to cry.

She understood her own life completely now, and all the mistakes made sense. She had wasted so many great opportunities. People had tried to help her, including her mother, but she had ignored them.

She got up on her knees but couldn't raise her head. "I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry. Forgive me, please."

"That sounded sincere," Aaron said. "I have some questions for you. Do you swear to fight the enemies of God with all the strength in your body and mind?"

"Yes." She looked up at him. Her cheeks were wet with tears.

"Will you protect the secrets of the Gray Spear Society with your life?"

"Yes."

"Finally," he said, "will you obey my orders and trust my judgment, always?"

"Yes, sir." Using that last word didn't bother her this time.

"Then I will permit you to live. You can stay up here until you pull yourself back together. Then come down and do the dishes."

He, Smythe, and Wesley left the roof.

She was very glad to be alone. She had wet her pants after all.

* * *

Aaron drove a delivery truck up to the garage door of the old headquarters building. From the outside it looked like a big, ugly warehouse with red brick walls. All the windows had been filled in. He had grown tired of looking at it, and today would be the last time.

"Open the door," he said.

"Yes, sir," Tawni replied in a subdued voice.

She hopped out and pushed up the garage door. Aaron drove inside. The power was off, and the interior was as dark as a cave. The only illumination was from morning sunlight entering through the doorway. Rain water had dripped through cracks in the metal roof, creating a puddle on the concrete floor. He rolled through the water before parking.

He climbed out of the truck and looked around.

Tawni walked over to him with slow shuffling footsteps. Her face was slack with exhaustion and her eyes were red. She obviously hadn't slept during the night.

"This was your old headquarters?" She looked down the long central corridor with an expression of disbelief.

"I know it's a dump, but it was just temporary accommodations. We were here for just over a year."

"Where were you before that?"

"We had an underground facility off Lower Wacker," Aaron said. "It was pretty nice, but not as nice as the hotel."

"What happened to it, sir?"

"The Brotherhood of the Luciferian Child tried a home invasion. It went poorly for them. Ask Norbert about the details. I brought you here to help me with a fun task. We're going to destroy this building and wipe away all evidence the Gray Spear Society was here."

"Why?" She blinked at him. It was obvious her brain wasn't running at full speed.

"Because right now this place is lethal to outsiders."

"I don't understand. It seems safe." She looked left and right.

"It's a Society stronghold," he said, "one of God's dirty secrets. It's unnatural."