The Price of Winning: London Calling Book Four (28 page)

Bas, you moved me in here because you were worried to leave me alone. But I can stand on my own now. It’s past time.

He knew she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. He’d listened as she recounted kicking Jeremy Green’s ass all over a city block. She’d chortled simply remembering it.

At one point, Dominic brought in a video so he could see for himself. Apparently, once his hired man decided she could handle herself, he’d recorded the entire event on his phone.
 

He and Dominic had watched it together, both of them slack-jawed until the end. Then they’d exchanged one meaningful look before bursting into laughter.
 

Hell, even his relationship with Martin was on solid footing these days. There really was nothing like bonding over a near-death experience.

But Madeleine was elusive.
 

Their chemistry was as explosive as ever. They went on dates, her reservations about public venues no longer a major concern. She still preferred quiet evenings in, but only because she told him she wanted him all to herself.

Sebastian ran his hands through his hair.

So why wouldn’t she move back in with him? He’d taken to staying at her place most nights only so he could have the entire night with her. If she came to the manor, there was a likely chance he’d wake up to an empty bed.

When asked about it, she would smile and say she had an early morning.

Sebastian checked his watch. She’d be here any minute. He fingered the small jeweler’s box in his front pant pocket.
 

He knew he was pushing her. But he missed her. Loved her more than he’d thought possible. And he knew she loved him. He just needed to tear down the barrier she’d built between them.
 

He knew he’d caused it. But maybe tonight he could fix that too.

***

Madeleine walked through Sebastian’s house, her high heels clacking on the wooden floors. So far she hadn’t found him.

“Bas?” she called out. “Where are you?”

She reached the kitchen. Wild rose petals littered the floor, marking a path to the back exit into the garden. Smiling, she picked up a handful of blooms, crushing the petals between her fingers to release their heady scent.

She propped open the door, looking outside.
 

The sun had dipped deep in the sky, casting the garden in a soft, dreamy light. Sebastian stood at its center, his hands loosely planted on his hips. As a rare treat, he was dressed casually, in dark indigo jeans and a white button-down. His feet were bare.

He threw his arms wide, indicating the elaborate picnic set out in front of him. “Will you join me for dinner?”
 

She hopped down the stairs into the grass. When she reached him, she dropped an exaggerated curtsey. “I would love to.”

He led her by the hand and saw her seated at the bench. Then he dropped down beside her, so rather than facing each other across the table, they sat side-by-side.

He uncovered dishes then proceeded to serve her with a wide sampling of morsels. At one point, she reached out, blocking her plate with an outstretched hand.

“Stop,” she laughed. “I’ll burst.” Then to defy herself, she popped a shrimp fritter into her mouth, happily chewing. “How’d you get Angeline to do all this?” She knew the other woman’s cooking well enough from staying on Jersey.

“I pitched my case, and she decided to do what she could to help me in my cause.”
 

Madeleine laughed. Sometimes it was hard to remember there was a darker side to the man beside her. He laughed more easily these days, smiled more readily. But she knew better than to tell herself it was gone. His past was a part of him.

His past and his anger born from it.

She closed her eyes briefly, banishing the thought. She was happy with Sebastian. And as long as she didn’t expect him to change his fundamental nature, they could continue with nights like these.

Very nearly, he was everything she’d ever wanted. He treated her with honor and respect. In bed, he was selfless and giving.
 

She smiled, but it quickly fell.
 

It had to be enough.

He touched her face. She looked at him, her heart close to bursting with love for this complicated, beautiful man.
 

“Maddy, what is it?” His thumb traced her chin, gently exploring the tiny divot in its point.

She tilted her head. “Nothing.” She waved her hand around them. “This is perfect.
You
are perfect.” She leaned forward to press her lips on his.

He kissed her, long and deep. He tasted like decadence, a rich indulgence, hers alone to sample.

She hummed, scooting closer on the bench.

He withdrew, softening the rejection by punctuating her forehead, cheeks, and nose with kisses.

“We need to talk.”

She pulled back. “Okay.” Butterflies took flight in her stomach. “What do you want to talk about?”

He pondered her, his eyes drifting over her. “Why didn’t you tell me about the parole hearing? Even with the planned tournament, you had to know I’d want to be there for you.”
 

She rubbed her arms, chasing a chill. “It was something I had to do myself.” She shook her head, sending curls bouncing. “No, that’s not entirely true. I had decided not to go. I didn’t want to dwell in the past anymore.”

“What changed your mind?”

She crossed her legs. Fireflies were starting to flicker across the garden. “I suppose you did. I’d learned about your plans around the tourney, both for yourself and me. And I realized I needed to take charge of my life.” She picked up a rose, inhaling its scent. “Do you know, when I arrived on Jersey, everyone assumed I’d simply fall in line with whatever they told me to do.” She pressed her lips together. “And that was my fault. I’d become too dependent, relying on everyone else to decide things for me. Suddenly, I felt like a wraith, a ghost of the person I’d once been.”

She took a deep breath. “So I decided to go. I thought maybe you were right. We should confront our pasts. Fight for closure.”
 

Her hands rested on top of the picnic table. Underneath the linen she could feel the cracks and grain of the wood. She found a knot, pressing her fingertip against it.
 

“I was wrong, Madeleine. You were the one who was right. I never should have sent you away. I chose the past and my bitterness over you and our future. I was absolutely wrong, and I’m so, so sorry.”

She blinked rapidly, trying to clear her eyes.

“I want to fix us.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Bas, you can’t keep going around thinking you can fix everything. Everyone.” There was a sinking feeling in her stomach. “We’re fine.”

He clenched his jaw. “No, we’re not. Dammit, Madeleine.” He put his hand over hers, stopping her restless movements. “I love you. I believe you love me. So why aren’t we together?”

Madeleine bit back a sob. “We are, Bas. I’m right here, in front of you.”

He cupped the back of her neck, hugging her to him. He tucked her head under his chin, his deep voice vibrating against her. “Then why do I feel like you’re drifting away from me? Day by day?”

“Why do you say that?” She picked at one of his buttons, unfastening it. She slid her hand into the gap, rubbing his hair-roughened chest. “Because I moved out?” She didn’t allow him to answer. “I told you why I did that.”
 

He pressed his hand over hers, stilling it. “That’s part of it. And I don’t think you told the whole truth.” She felt him swallow. “Why do you leave after we make love here?”

He wasn’t going to give up. And Madeleine knew better than to think avoidance worked anymore.

She sat back, pulling herself out of his arms.

“I moved out because I believe gratitude and responsibility can often be confused for love. But they are not the same thing.” She felt her voice shaking but once started, she needed to finish. Even if she never recovered from losing him, she needed to be sure what he really felt.

She struggled to find the right words. Sebastian was oddly pale, looking shaken. She frowned. “I want true love, like my parents had. The kind that is unshakable and unconditional. The kind that frees a person but makes them want to be tied down anyway. I want a
partner
.”

She breathed. Her stomach was settled, but she still felt a tightness around her heart.
 

“You don’t love me,” he croaked. “You discovered it was only gratitude?” His mouth was slack, his eyes staring but unfocused.

“What?”

“You just said you mistook gratitude for love.” He was shaking his head, dazed. “You don’t love me?”

Her own mouth fell open. “No!” She balled her fist and hit the table. “I mean, yes! God, yes.” She felt dizzy. “I was talking about you, Bas. I was afraid you didn’t truly love
me
. Not as an equal.”

His breath escaped him in a sigh. He dropped to his knees beside her. For once, she was head and shoulders above him.
 

He fumbled in his pocket, taking out a small box. Flipping open the lid, he revealed a glorious antique emerald-cut diamond ring. More diamonds circled the center stone and dripped down to adorn the split-shank setting.

He scooted closer, taking her hand in his. Madeleine thought her lungs had seized.

“Madeleine Price, I love you.” He kissed the back of her bare hand. “And I’ve been on my knees for you practically from the day we met.” He grinned up at her, sharing the joke from when she first flattened him with pepper spray. “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

She leaned down and kissed him. But when he moved to take the ring from its box, she stilled him. There was another obstacle. A big one.

“I love you too.” She raked her nails through his hair, bursting with love. “But I can’t marry you knowing about the work you do with Angeline.” He reared back, and she hurried to explain. “This is not an ultimatum.” She needed him to understand that. “But I can’t live like that. Not because of the risks, but because I couldn’t stand watching you become something you hate.” She bowed her head. She would never intentionally hurt him, but she couldn’t allow herself to go along with something guaranteed to hurt
her
.
 

He tipped her chin up. “I can see I still have work to do.” Shocked, she watched him pocket the ring.
 

Disappointment rocketed through her.
 

“We’ll take it slowly.” He stood, still holding her hand. “I made the wrong choice once. I can tell you I won’t do so again, but you need to know it here.” He touched the area over her heart. “I can wait. We’ll get there.”

Madeleine smiled, a shaky, watery attempt since tears were streaming out of her eyes. But he wasn’t finished.

“I want you to know that I’d already decided to step out of my work with Angeline. Getting a blade shoved between my ribs offered a little perspective. But mostly it’s because I can’t continue to surround myself with evil. It changes me, erodes something inside.” He paused. “I’m thinking of selling Club Hobart. We can decide together whether it’s the right thing to do or not.”

Madeleine’s lips parted. He really was willing to walk away. And he was willing to share his decisions with her.

He pressed the tip of his finger against her mouth. “Don’t say anything yet.” He dropped his hand back over her heart. “This isn’t a pause in our relationship, but you need time to see that I’m different. You are my equal, Maddy. And my perfect life partner. We’ll both know when you believe that.”

He took two steps backward, dropping his head in a gallant bow. He peeked up, playful again. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

She looped her arm in his, leading them back to the stairs to go in the house.
 

“Absolutely.”

They climbed more stairs then walked down the hallway to Sebastian’s bedroom.
 

Once inside, when they were both naked and trembling, he took her face between his palms. “You’ll stay? You won’t disappear before morning?”

She kissed him, her tongue mating with his in a dance as old as time. For all the magazine covers and fashion runways, Sebastian Payne was the first man to really see her.
 

She eased back and smiled.

She accepted the time he’d given them, knowing he needed it at least as much as she.

But in the meantime, there was no way she would retreat, not from life nor love. She couldn’t.

She kissed away the question on his lips, sealing their future in her heart.

“I will never disappear from you, Sebastian. Not ever again.”

A N
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F
ROM
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I hope you enjoyed Madeleine and Sebastian’s romantic journey in
The Price of Winning
, Book Four in my
London Calling
series. Theirs was a story about redemption—and how love brings light, even in the darkest of times.

So, what’s next? We’ll be revisiting our doomed lovers from Book Two
(
Losing Angeline
)
, John and Angeline Sinclair.
 

You didn’t think their story was over did you?
 

Angeline’s Return
, Book Five of
London Calling
will showcase their fight for each other, in spite of the pain of past betrayals and present day threats. Can John and Angeline overcome their odds and find love again, or was the die cast years ago, dooming them to lonely lives on separate continents?

Make sure you don’t miss new releases and free books by joining my readers’ group! Sign up at
http://www.katfaitour.com
and join the fun.
 

And finally, if you loved
The Price of Winning
, it would do me a great service if you would leave a short review on Amazon. Your assistance in recommending this book spreads the word to new readers and helps others find my series.

Thank you!
 

Kat Faitour
 

http://www.katfaitour.com

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