The Prisoner's Release and Other Stories (15 page)

Benton lowered his ears and looked down. Then he smiled, peering up. “Well, there are a lot of people who pay for that. You might be able to make a good living at it. Oh, but you don’t want to.”

“
I probably could.” Jonas sighed. “But I’ll have to think about it.”

“
You can stay with us for a couple nights if you need to.”

He shook his head. “Thank you, but no. I already owe you enough.”

“
Just one night. We have a space where you could sleep. Until you decide what to do.”

Jonas didn't want to accept, but he was too tired and confused to resist the allure of a safe place to sleep. “All right.”

Benton and Jherik lived in a small apartment building with three other couples. They had their own stove, in the front room, and a separate bedroom. Benton unrolled a blanket from the closet and placed it by the stove. “I know it’s not that chilly any more, but the nights can get cold here.”

“
Thanks.” Jonas looked around the small space, and especially at several crossbows hung on the walls. “You did these?”

Benton nodded, and spoke up as Jonas leaned in for a closer look. “These are the ones that weren’t balanced right or were mechanically flawed. Master Talid let me take them to practice designs on. Here, this one took me forever but Master Talid said he was very proud of it. I did it again on a good crossbow and he sold it for five gold pieces to a noble.”

Jonas saw an intricate mesh of swirling lines. When he moved one way, he thought he saw a pattern, but when he reached forward to touch it, his fingers moved along a different path. Shifting his head to the other side, he saw still another false pattern, but his fingers found the true way even when his eyes were confused. “It’s beautiful,” he said.

“
Thank you.” Benton’s tail was wagging again. Jonas envied him his enthusiasm about his work. He wished he too could make something lasting that people could admire. He didn’t let the feeling flare into jealousy; Benton was not showing off weapons to shame him or show him up, and he still felt tremendously grateful to the little fox.

When Jonas stepped back from the weapons, Benton said, “I need to get back to the shop. Will you be okay here?”

Jonas nodded, confused again. Not only had Benton gone out of his way to rescue him; now he was trusting him alone in their house? “I’ll be fine. I won’t touch anything.”

“
We don’t have much food, but that pub is just down the street.”

“
That’s okay.” Jonas smiled thinly. “I don’t have any money.”

“
Didn’t Alexan leave you anything? We’ll have to go over there and see if we can get you some money later. I’ll ask Jherik about it.”

“
You don’t have to—” Jonas began, but Benton waved him quiet.

“
Don’t worry about it. Just think about what you want to do and if we can help you out, we will.”

“
Okay,” he said softly. “Thanks.”

When Benton left, Jonas paced around the apartment. No door separated the bedroom from the main room, but he still hesitated to step inside. It was rich with fox and cougar scent and the musk of intimacy, and it reminded Jonas strongly of Alexan’s bedroom. He stood for a moment, feeling the low ache of regret, and then turned away.

The apartment on the whole looked prosperous, if a little on the untidy side, but he certainly couldn’t fault them for that. He could, however, help. Forgetting his promise not to touch anything, he started organizing clothes and dusting the wall hangings in the outer room. At first, he placed the clothes in the doorway to the bedroom, but as the living room grew cleaner, he pushed the clothes into the bedroom, and then he felt guilty about that and went into the bedroom to organize them. He worried for a moment about invading their privacy, but having started to clean, he felt compelled to see it through. He found their wardrobe and hung up the clothes, and while he was in there, straightened and dusted until he coughed.

The thought crossed his mind that he could do this for a living, as he returned to the small table in the living room and sat down, but he was sure he wasn’t very good at it, even if the apartment did look markedly better, and he was equally sure he wouldn’t enjoy it. Looking out the window, he tried to absorb all that had happened to him in the last two days, and where he would go in the future. Possibilities flitted through his mind like shadows, none solid enough for him to grasp except for the long shadow of his former job.

He felt lonely again, wishing he could talk to someone like Benton, or Richy, or Pike. His eye fell on an inkpot and a heap of discarded parchment sitting in a small cabinet beside the table. There was a small stack of clean parchment as well, but the discarded pile had the beginnings of writing on it. He recognized Jherik’s handwriting and saw that they were mostly reports he’d begun writing and then discarded when he made some error. One of the pieces had only a couple words on it and then a large splotch. The obverse was quite clear and usable, if a little rough. Almost before he realized what he was doing, Jonas had taken it down and dipped a quill in the inkpot, and started to write.

Dear Pike
, he wrote,

You were right. There. I haven’t wanted to admit it, but you were right. I wish things could have turned out differently, but I find myself alone and friendless

He thought for a moment, then crossed out “friendless.”

without prospects in a foreign country. I probably should have listened to you, but I was so desperate to get away that I did what I felt I had to. I would like to return to the Jackal’s Staff, but I don’t think I have the means at the moment, and I am sure Tally would not welcome me back anyway. So I will simply write to let you know that I am alive and healthy, and that I miss you and the others.

He put the quill down and looked out the window. When he’d started the letter, he thought he would just help clear his head by pretending to talk to Pike. But as the letter took shape, he felt more and more that he wanted the raccoon to see it. Pike had cared about him, and even if he’d betrayed him to Tally, he’d done it with good intentions and he’d been honest about it.

It was a while later before he concluded the letter.

If you should care to write back, please do it in care of Jherik at the City Guards, Fourth Division, Divalia.

All my love,

Jonas

He folded it and wrote “Pike, Jackal’s Staff, Divalia” on the outside, then slipped the letter into his pants pocket. Maybe Jherik or Benton could find someone to take a message to Tephos.

Benton brought dinner with him when he returned home: a loaf of bread, some cheese, and a slab of fowl. He set aside a portion for Jherik (“he’ll be home later”) and then insisted on giving Jonas nearly two thirds of what remained.

“
I talked to Master Talid,” he said between mouthfuls, “and he said I can take tomorrow morning to go with you to Alexan’s house and claim any money he might have left behind. I don’t know if he had any family. They might already be there, if he did, but chances are there’ll be something left. You probably know where he kept things better than they did.”

Jonas nodded. “Jherik said he had some relatives but they didn’t sound interested in him. So it’s just ‘finders keepers’?”

Benton shrugged. “Basically. For people with a lot of property there’s laws, but Jherik says they’re hard to enforce. In his case probably the big fight will be over his house. I don’t think you’d have a chance of getting that, so you might as well take what you can.”

“
All right.” Jonas thought about some of Alexan’s things that he might want. He was sure that very little of the fox’s clothing would fit him, but money and some of the other possessions would certainly be helpful.

Jherik came home late, and after eating his share of the dinner and telling them about his day on the job, he announced that he was tired and needed to sleep. “You can stay up and talk,” he said, but Benton shook his head.

“
I’m tired too,” he said with a smile that told Jonas that he wasn’t being entirely truthful. The cougar smiled at the affectionate gesture as the two of them bid him good night.

They had placed his blanket so that when he was lying on it, he couldn’t see into the bedroom, but he could hear perfectly well. They kept their voices low, but he caught snatches of the conversation.

“…
wish you’d asked me.” Jherik’s voice rose a bit. Benton murmured something back to him, and the cougar sighed. “I don’t mind, but we don’t have that much room.”

Jonas didn’t hear Benton’s response, if he made one, but Jherik’s voice rose and got sharper. “I’m not going to go through this argument again. I don’t need their help. I wish you’d stop suggesting we run to my family for money.”

Now Benton’s voice was rising. “It’s not running for help. They’ve offered. You’re just too stubborn to accept.”

“
Maybe I want to make my own way.”

“
Everyone gets help from their family. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“
Really? When was the last time your father sent you money?”

There was a silence, and the next voice Jonas heard was Jherik’s again. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

Jonas rolled over and tried to shut out the private conversation. He felt like an intruder again, and while he’d originally hoped to stay another night or two, now he felt he would have to get out the next day. He sighed and raised his eyes to the window, where he could see the silvery glow of the moon.
Felis
, he prayed,
show me what path to follow
.

Halfway through his silent recital of the “Our Mother,” he heard a breathless squeak from the bedroom. His ears flicked back to listen, and he grinned. Apparently Jherik and Benton had already made up. A stirring in his sheath urged him to take a look, against his better judgment. He finished the prayer and then gave in, cautiously rolling over to the bedroom door and cracking one eye to peer inside.

He needn’t have bothered with the pretense of sleep. Neither the cougar nor the fox were looking in his direction, and both were absorbed in each other. He’d thought from the pants and moans that they were nearing the finish, but there turned out to be a good deal of action left. Jonas didn’t watch for very long, but he was struck by the difference between watching Benton and Jherik, and between watching the other workers at the Jackal’s Staff. The fox and cougar were certainly passionate and affectionate, but their technique was imperfect and occasionally awkward. Jonas found himself wanting to tell them, “No, don’t switch paws…don’t lick quite that fast…” Watching Richy with Pike, for example, the technique had been very good, but now he wondered whether he’d imagined any affection on Richy’s part. The interaction had been more like grooming than intimacy.

His body was responding to the sight. He rolled over and pressed his erection into the blanket, flexing his claws into the fabric and keeping his panting as soft as he could. Celibacy did not appear to agree with him, but he didn’t feel that pleasuring himself would be appropriate on someone else’s floor. He waited until the noises from the bedroom peaked and then subsided into warm murmurs, and then lay on his back and closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, light was streaming in through the window and Jherik was just opening the door to leave. Jonas watched him go and lay back and closed his eyes again. He felt calmer in the morning, and as he contemplated his future, he realized that his options were not very numerous. He kept coming up against the fact that he was only trained in one area. Remembering the previous night, he couldn’t deny his interest in sex, but he still felt reluctant to look around for a brothel to work in. He knew that the Jackal’s Staff was one of the most high-class places in Divalia, and he’d been lucky to get a position there. Even if he could find an equivalent place in Caril, though, the prospect of working in that same position didn’t appeal to him.

His other option was that he could do the work on his own. He knew vaguely that there were independent prostitutes in Divalia, so there must be in Caril. He would need a nice place, of course, someplace he could invite clients to, and he would need some nice clothes. He knew where to get the clothes, and hopefully Mikka would know where to look for a good place, and if he could get money from Alexan’s house, that would get him started.

By the time Benton came out into the living room, Jonas had formulated his plan. He was surprised that the idea of returning to prostitution didn’t bother him as much when he thought about doing it on his own. With no Tally and Van Wyck, nobody ordering him when or how much to do, with the freedom to just focus on the client, he thought he could endure it, and maybe even enjoy it.

Benton paid for the cab to Alexan’s place, and on the way over, Jonas hesitantly told the fox his idea. Benton approved, but didn’t know enough to be any help. He didn’t frequent any brothels in Caril, and he didn’t know anyone who did, so he didn’t know where to tell Jonas to go or who to talk to. He offered to ask around, a polite gesture that Jonas knew was nothing more. He thanked the fox anyway.