The Privilege of the Sword (44 page)

There was something in his voice—not just pleading, but panic, as though if I didn’t turn around he wasn’t going to be able to breathe much longer. I stopped walking and turned around and looked at him. He was pulling at his own fingers as if he wanted to tear them off, babbling apologies. “I didn’t mean any of it, it was just lies, I swear. I’m all wrong, I know I am. I’m barely a civilized human being. I’ve read a lot of books, I know a lot of words, but in the end I’m nothing, nothing—I’m nothing but a minnow-a-toss street punk with good clothes and fancy manners.”

His desperation cut the knot of shocked rage in me, and I started to sob.

“Don’t cry, Katie, please don’t cry because of me.”

I knuckled tears out of my eyes. “How could you say those things to me?”

“I didn’t mean them, please don’t hate me—”

“I thought you understood,” I whimpered miserably. “I thought we were together here….”

“We are, we are. Look, don’t we watch each other’s backs? And don’t we have secrets together?”

“It doesn’t mean anything if you can’t be good to me.” I sniffled. “How can I trust you?”

“And I let you have your secrets, too, don’t I? I’m a good friend, I don’t pry. Like, I know you set up that duel without me, and I know you snuck back to Perry’s without me, and I didn’t say anything because I knew you didn’t want me to—”

“Yes, but—”

“And what about Highcombe? Do I ever ask you about whoever it is at Highcombe you still won’t tell me about, even though you know I’m dying to and you just love to torment me with it…”

Something in his voice made me laugh. He was doing it on purpose; the look on his face was silly and hopeful. “I’ll tell you about it someday.”

“It’s someone you miss. You both do. Is it someone you love more than me?”

“Marcus—are you jealous?”

“You’re all I have,” he said softly; “you and him.” Slowly he unfolded a pristine handkerchief. He reached with it, very carefully, towards the tears on my face, and I stood quite still and let him wipe them away, tender and methodical.

I said, “You know I love you best.”

“You do?”

“Better than any of them.”

He handed me the white linen. “Blow your nose.”

“Especially the duke. You love him, too, don’t you? I don’t know how you stand him all the time.”

“He’s interesting.”

“So’s a bat, or a thunderstorm. I wouldn’t choose to live with one.”

“He’s clever, and he can be kind if he likes you. When he remembers.”

I sniffed. “He’s not reliable.”

Marcus looked at me with steady brown eyes. “I am reliable.”

I felt it then, that curious warmth below. It had something to do with wanting to touch his curving mouth and knowing that he wanted me to. He was watching me very carefully. If anything was going to happen, I would have to do it first. I felt the edges of his lips with my fingers, and his breath on them. He was standing very still, his hands at his sides. What would have happened then is hard to say, because it didn’t; instead we heard someone running down the path towards us, and it was Betty’s voice, calling, “Lady Katherine!”

We broke apart, and just in time, for she took one look at me and started to carry on. “Look at the state you’re in! All over mud, and no time to clean your hair; I’ll just have to put it up, that’s all. And you the duke’s own champion, too, I hear, but when we’re going to celebrate I do not know, for such a to-do with her coming here I cannot possibly get you all cleaned up in time. Such a fine lady, what will she think of the care that I’ve been giving you? But if you will go fighting and playing in the garden—”

“Who is it?” I asked. “Who’s here?”

“It’s your mother.”

I felt the whole world shift and drop out from under me.

“My mother?”

What was she doing here? Why had no one told me?

“Don’t worry about your hands, we’ll just put some cream on them…”

But it wasn’t my hands I was worried about. “Marcus, I can’t!” I gasped. “I can’t see her now. I am—I look—I don’t have any dresses! Oh, tell her to go away, tell her I’ll write to her, I can’t, I can’t—”

“Katie, stop.” He took my clenched hands in his. “Don’t be a fool. You can do this. Just go wash up, and put on a clean shirt, and go welcome your mother to Tremontaine House. I’ll tell her you’re coming.”

I held on to his arm. “No! No, I don’t want her to see you—”

“She won’t.” He smiled a funny little smile, and let me watch him transform into a sedate, well-trained servant, perfectly composed. “There, see? Nobody here.”

“Don’t tell her…” I whispered.

He smiled into my eyes. “Don’t worry, Lady Katherine. I’m very good at not telling people things. And I’m very reliable.”

He bowed, and kissed my hand. He didn’t do it very well, but it was adorable. I squared my shoulders, and went off to get cleaned up.

I
HAD FORGOTTEN HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE WAS, AND HOW
much she looked like the duke. The skin at her temples was thin, and her hair was plainly dressed. She sat in a velvet chair by the window in the mirrored drawing room, looking out over the garden and the river beyond it. I entered very quietly, so that I could look at her first. It was strange how well she fit the room; she didn’t look countrified at all, just plain and elegant. She had a book on her lap, but she wasn’t reading it; she was turning the pages while staring out the window.

“Hello, Mother,” I said.

I saw the shock on her face.

“It’s true,” she said. “Oh, my god, Katherine, what’s he done to you?” She didn’t wait for an answer. I felt my swordsman’s poise deserting me; suddenly I didn’t know what to do with my hands, and I was horribly aware of my legs. “I came as soon as I could. Gregory told me you were just in some kind of fight, and I meant to wait a day, but I came rushing up yesterday because it’s been six months, my darling, six long months and I could not wait a moment longer. I wanted to surprise you—”

“I’m surprised,” I said. “Truly.”

She rushed to me, and took my face in her hands. “Oh, my darling, are you all right?”

I tried not to let her feel me stiffen and draw back. “Of course I’m all right, Mother. It was a short fight. I won.”

“Oh, Katherine.” Her voice was full of sorrow. “My sweet, brave, good darling. I can only imagine what you have been through….”

I squirmed. “It’s all right, Mother, really.”

“You don’t have to be brave any longer,” she said softly. “You’ve done it, my darling; you’ve saved us.”

I looked down and felt myself flush with pleasure. This was more like it. When she held out her arms this time, I went to her and let her embrace me, and breathed in the scent of lavender from our gardens at home. She guided me back to her chair and I nestled down in the corner of her skirt, my special spot where I always felt safe. “Your hair’s gotten thicker,” she said, stroking it.

“My maid washes it with special stuff.”

“You’ve got your own maid? Oh, Kitty!”

“And a big room over the river, and a velvet cloak with gold tassels, and—oh, Mother! Are you staying with Gregory? I want you to see my room. You can stay with me, if you like; the bed is huge.”

“Now, now, Kitty, we’ll talk about all that later. We’ve got more important things to talk about right now.”

“What things?”

She laughed, and patted my back like a puppy’s: “Just run upstairs and tell your maid to put you into one of your nice dresses, and you can order us some refreshment, if you like.”

“I—shall I order us something now?”

“What’s the matter, darling?”

“Nothing, I just—I don’t feel like changing right now, that’s all.”

“I just thought you’d like to show me one of your new dresses.”

“Maybe later.” I wanted to put the moment off as long as possible, when she would find out what my life in the duke’s house was really like. She would not be happy, I knew that. I so wanted her to be happy, now. “Tell me all about you, first. Is your tooth all better? How are the boys? Has Annie married her sailor yet? Did the Oldest Oak survive another winter? What did Seb sow in the south reach this year?”

“You’ll see, won’t you?” she said mischievously.

“Will I?”

“Well, of course you will, my pet. Not right away, of course: I thought I’d stay in town and do a little shopping—you don’t want to be seen with your silly old mother looking like some country frump, do you? And I can still have my own ‘Season,’ even if it’s a little late!” She laughed. “You won’t mind that, will you my darling, if we stay a few weeks?”

“Of course not, Mother,” I said automatically.

She squeezed my shoulder. “I knew you’d understand, Katherine, you always do. After all, there’s no hurry, is there?”

“I don’t think so. I mean, if Sebastian’s all right at home without you—and you haven’t seen Gregory in ages—is he coming to visit me, too?”

“I don’t think so, darling; he and your uncle don’t really see eye to eye.”

“Oh.” That didn’t surprise me.

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter—Greg will put up with me awhile longer, and then, when the town empties out for the summer, we can all go home together.”

There was a clutch in my stomach. “Home?”

“Yes, my love.”

“But my uncle—the contract—don’t I have to stay?”

She flicked her hands in the air, very like the duke. “He’s not as clever as he thinks he is, for all his money. I’ve got new lawyers, much better ones than before. They say there’s absolutely nothing to keep you here. We promised him six months, and he’s had them.”

I had never seen the contract, but I had watched my mother go through lawyers like kindling before, trying to get out of other unwise bargains she had made. I wondered what the truth was this time. I wondered why it had never occurred to me until now simply to ask Arthur Ghent to take it out and read it with me, so I could understand it myself.

“Just think—you’ll see all the dear little ducklings, and the lambs. You always love to give them names and help Fergus with them.”

“Of course, Mama.” I’d forgotten all about the lambs—the lambs and the linen and the liniments and all that. It seemed like a hundred years ago, or something I’d read in a book. Did I like lambs? I did, of course I did. Lambs were sweet. Then why was my heart pounding as if I were in a fight? I took a deep breath. “Just not quite yet, as you say. You want to see the city, first.”

“That’s my darling.” She hugged me. I had dreamed of her arms, but now I was finding them a little too tight. “I know I can always depend on you.” She smiled tenderly at me. “You have no idea how lovely it will all be, now that we’ve got our money back again. All the funds that were tied up while he picked quarrels about them, returned to me with interest; it’s quite a lot, much more than I thought it would be, and I mean to spend it now. I’m going to have a carriage, and I’ve ordered new hangings for the bedrooms, and all sorts of lovely fabrics and china—”

She was always forgetting the practical things. “What about the roof?”

“Oh, a new roof, of course, and books for poor Sebastian, and more kitchenmaids, so Cook has agreed to stay on after all—It will be lovely, much nicer than before, you’ll see! I’d no idea there was so much there. All thanks to you, of course, my brave heroic daughter, who walked right into the ogre’s den without a thought for herself, and captured his treasure for us.” She hugged me. “I mean to get you the best of everything: pretty clothes, and fine furnishings, and an extra sewing maid so you don’t ever have to do that nasty mending again—You can even have a real Season someday, if you want one, with balls and gowns and flowers and everything.”

I thought of the Godwins’ musicale, the girls in their bright dresses, and me with my sword and breeches standing before Artemisia to challenge Lord Ferris. “Oh, that’s all right,” I said. “I don’t think I’ll bother with that after all.”

“But don’t you want to be like all the other girls here?” she asked anxiously.

“Not really.”

“Oh, Katherine.” She breathed a sigh of admiration—or maybe it was just relief. “I couldn’t do without you.”

I took the end of her hair ribbon and twisted it gently, teasing her, but anxious for the answer. “But you’ve managed a
little
without me, haven’t you? Just a little bit, on your own, for six months?”

“Just a
little
. Of course Sebastian has been a great help with the house, once he stopped moping. I think he wished the Mad Duke had sent for
him
instead of you—the duke is a patron of the University, and you know how Seb loves his books.”

“Maybe he can come to classes, when we’ve got everything settled.”

The little frown appeared between my mother’s brows. “Oh, no. No one else understands farming the way Seb does. I wouldn’t know what to plant, or how to tell if the tenants were cheating us.”

Sebastian was by far my favorite brother. I wondered if the duke would like him. Perhaps he would be willing to help him find a farm manager and send him to University. “I’m longing to see Seb again. Maybe he can come back with me in the fall, for a visit.”

My mother’s frown increased. “But why would you want to come back so soon?”