The Problem Child (The Sisters Grimm, Book 3) (16 page)

"Looks like I've got a bite," Uncle Jake said, slowly and cautiously reeling his catch in. Suddenly, he pulled back hard on the rod, and from the tension in it, it seemed as if he had hooked a big one. The fish was strong. A few times Sabrina was sure the fishing rod would be ripped out of Uncle Jake's hands and dragged underwater, but her uncle was strong and soon he was pulling the fish onboard.

It was huge, probably weighing twenty pounds, with a white belly, gray skin, and a series of purple stripes on either side of its back. It flopped around on the bottom of the boat, smacking against the girls with its tail, and then it did something so shocking Sabrina nearly fell overboard.

"Jake Grimm!" the fish said in a gurgling voice. "You dirty, filthy, no good, pain in my fin! I should have known when I saw that lure that it was either you or your lousy brother!"

"How are you doing, Anthony?" Uncle Jake said as he set his rod into the boat. "I wish this could have been avoided, bud, but we need a bit of your special talents."

"You're a talking fish," Daphne said.

"And you're a master of the obvious," Anthony said. "Are these your kids, Jake? If this brood is the future of the Grimms, I suspect your family is in deep trouble. So, what do you want?"

"We're going to see the Little Mermaid and we need to be able to breathe underwater," Uncle Jake explained.

"Not a good idea!" the fish warned.

"It can't be avoided," Uncle Jake replied. "The mermaid's got something we need."

"She's in a foul mood lately. She's been particularly abusive to her staff. Half of them have been turned into fish sticks. If she kills you, don't come crying to me. I tried to warn you."

"Kills us?" Daphne cried. "That's crazy talk! The Little Mermaid would never kill someone. I know, I saw the movie!"

"She's mean!" Anthony said as he flopped around the boat. "Mean, I tell you!"

"Shut your mouth," Daphne cried. "I don't believe a word you say."

"Your funeral," the fish gurgled. "All right, Jake. You know how this works. Make your wish."

"Wait a minute. You grant wishes?" Sabrina interrupted.

"I'm a fish that talks and you're having trouble with me granting wishes?"

"Why are we wishing to be able to breathe underwater? Why don't we just wish we had all the pieces of the Vorpal blade? Why not avoid the headache!" Sabrina asked her uncle.

"Sorry kid, one wish per customer. I can't grant multi-part wishes," the fish said.

"Well, then I wish I had the Little Mermaid's part of the Vorpal blade," Sabrina said.

Just then, a seaweed-covered piece of metal materialized in Sabrina's hands. She picked off the slimy plants and smiled. Its jagged end would fit perfectly with the other piece of the sword.

"All right, Jake," the fish said. "I did my part. Now put me back in the water."

"I really appreciate your help," Uncle Jake said as he scooped the fish up and released him into the river. Anthony drifted back up to the surface and squirted water into Uncle Jake's face.

"Next time, put a worm on that hook. If I'm going to be put out, the least you could do is feed me!"

The fish dove under the waves and was gone while the family eyed their treasure with awe.

"That was easy enough," Sabrina said.

"Magic makes everything easier," Uncle Jake said.

Daphne shrugged. "Granny says there is always a price for using magic."

"Your grandmother just likes to do things the hard way," Uncle Jake said.

Suddenly, there was a mighty splash and a figure sprang out of the water. He was strong, with a barrel chest and big arms. His skin was green-tinged and he had kelp in his hair. He yanked an orange starfish from a belt around his waist and smacked it onto the top of Daphne's head. He snatched her in his arms and dragged her under the water.

"Daphne!" Sabrina cried as she searched the surface for her sister.

Sabrina and Uncle Jake desperately called out for the little girl, but there was no reply. Had her sister just been drowned before her eyes? Seconds later there was another splash on the other side of the boat. This time, Sabrina got a better look at what kind of man it was. She noticed, to her shock, that he had a fish tail instead of legs. He slapped another starfish onto Uncle Jake's head and before Sabrina could put up a fight, her uncle was dragged overboard as well.

Sabrina was all alone. She stuffed the sword piece into one coat pocket and out of another she took the Wand of Merlin. She studied the water, examining every ripple and preparing for an attack. When she heard the splash behind her, she spun around, causing the little boat to dip and roll. She lost her balance and the wand fell from her hand and rolled to the bottom of the boat. Before Sabrina could scamper down to retrieve it, the merman sprang into the boat, nearly capsizing it. He removed a scroll from a little bag on his belt and unfurled it, then cleared his throat and began to read.

"By the order of our lady, the princess, I do hereby place you and your co-conspirators under arrest for acts of thievery," the merman declared.

"You don't understand!" Sabrina argued, but the merman ignored her. He rolled up his scroll and tucked it back into his bag. Then he slapped an orange starfish onto the top of Sabrina's head. The starfish's five arms clamped down on her skull, acting like suction cups, and suddenly an odd sensation came over her. She literally felt like a fish out of water. She couldn't breathe!

"What have you done to me?" Sabrina gasped, desperate for air.

"Silence, you filthy, thieving topsider!" the merman barked as he snatched the piece of the Vorpal blade from her pocket. He tucked it under his belt and then grabbed her roughly by the arm. Before Sabrina could struggle, he leaped out of the boat and into the frigid water, taking her with him.

He swam deeper and deeper with Sabrina trapped in his strong grasp. She fought back viciously, punching and kicking her captor, but it didn't seem to faze the merman at all. Soon, her lungs were burning for oxygen. Her mouth instinctively opened and she inhaled deeply. Icy crystals raced down her throat. A curious heaviness filled her body and she felt as if water were pouring into her fingers and toes. She closed her eyes, preparing to die, but after several minutes something dawned on her--she could breathe!

It must be the starfish, she realized.

"Where are you taking me?" Sabrina demanded as a wave of bubbles escaped her mouth. She was surprised to find her voice sounded as normal as it did in air.

The merman said nothing, only pointed to the rapidly approaching river floor where an incredible sight came into view. Nestled on the rocky bottom of the Hudson River was a city. It had skyscrapers, apartment buildings, and hundreds of mermen and mermaids rushing here and there in the neatly planned grid of streets. From high above, the city was a fantastically beautiful dream of green and aquamarine, but as the merman dragged her closer and closer, the city's secret began to reveal itself. Everything was made out of trash. Entire buildings were made from discarded car tires and license plates. The sidewalks were paved with old bottle caps and the heels of shoes. Homes were constructed from old clothes, wagon wheels, flip-flops, garden tools, computers, antique telephones, grocery carts, beach chairs, cans, bottles, and thousands of tennis balls, footballs, and Frisbees, all stacked with expert care.

The merman pulled Sabrina through the city gates and along a street made of crushed toasters and cast-iron skillets.

"Where did you get all this stuff?" Sabrina said.

The merman scowled and pointed toward the surface. She looked up, then down again at all the junk. No wonder her captor had so much contempt for her. Every nook and cranny of the odd city owed its existence to two hundred years of junk that people like herself had dumped into the river. Human beings were disgusting.

He turned down one alley and then another. They passed dozens of shops carved out of sunken sailboats--some still had their names painted on the side. Merman and mermaid shop owners stood on the street calling out to passersby, trying to get them to buy old pop bottles and bicycle wheels. A mermother pushed an infant merbaby along the street in an old stroller.

Soon Sabrina and the merman reached an enormous palace, nearly five stories high. From above, Sabrina had thought it was the most beautiful place she had ever seen, but now that she was in front of it she realized it was made of the same junk as the rest of the underwater town. A flight of stairs, which were actually old car bumpers, led to a large door which was guarded by a merman holding a dented trumpet in one hand and a trident in the other.

"I have the last of the topsider prisoners," her captor said.

The merman guard nodded. "You may pass." He swam over and pushed the door open, allowing them to enter a great seaweed-covered hallway. They continued through another doorway, this one unguarded, and down a flight of steps. At the bottom Sabrina saw several heavy wooden doors with metal bars on their windows. The merman took a set of keys from his belt, opened up the closest door, and shoved Sabrina inside. Daphne and Uncle Jake sat on a bench in the corner of the room. Daphne looked at her disapprovingly, while Uncle Jake gave her a pitiful smile.

"You will be held here in the dungeon until her highness seeks your presence," the merman barked. "Then you will be given five minutes to plead your innocence or guilt. Shortly after, you will be executed and your bodies fed to the lake's parasites and bottom-feeders."

"What if we're found innocent?" Sabrina said.

"No one is found innocent," the merman said. He exited the room, slammed the heavy metal door, and locked it tight.

Sabrina turned back to her family. "I dropped the wand into the boat."

"It doesn't matter anyway," Uncle Jake said. "It won't work underwater."

"If I am fed to bottom-feeders, I will never forgive you!" Daphne said. "You had to use magic. Granny said there was always a price, but you wouldn't listen. What are we going to do now?"

"I don't know. We're in big trouble," Uncle Jake said.

Sabrina and Daphne looked at each other. They didn't have to say what they were thinking. In the short time they had known their uncle, he had been Mr. Confidence. If he was giving up already, then the situation was really bad.

"You don't know?" Sabrina said. "You've got an overcoat filled with magic stuff. Start searching your pockets."

"I doubt anything will work. Magic doesn't like getting wet," Uncle Jake said.

"We don't need any of your magic," Daphne said. "I'll do all the talking. I'll tell the princess why we need her part of the sword. She's the Little Mermaid. She's really cool and nice and she'll totally understand."

"Daphne, this isn't the Little Mermaid from the movies," Uncle Jake explained. "In that movie she fell in love with the prince and was happy, but in the real story, the one Hans Christian Andersen documented, the princess gave up her entire life to be with her prince and he abandoned her for another woman. He rode off and completely forgot about her. She's never really gotten over it, and is still a little resentful toward humans. Actually, that's an understatement. She hates humans, especially men. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

"What does scorned mean?"

Daphne asked her sister.

"It means she got dumped," Sabrina answered, then turned her attention back to her uncle. "So what are we going to do?"

Just then, the door flew open and two hulking merman guards entered. They wore heavy steel helmets and carried silver tridents, which they pointed at the group.

"The princess will see you now," one of them shouted as he swam over and grabbed Jake. The second brute clamped his big hands on the two girls and dragged them out of the cell. The guards forced the family down the hallway, and into a massive, high-ceilinged room and up to a pair of enormous doors covered in seaweed. An elderly merman with a bushy white beard and spectacles stood nearby at a podium reading a soggy book.

"Yes?" the old merman said without looking up.

"I have the topsiders who stole from the princess," one of the guards said respectfully.

The old merman took off his glasses and squinted as he examined the group. "Yes, yes, let them in," he shouted. Instantly a school of catfish swam up to the door. Each grabbed on to a strand of seaweed with its mouth and together they swung the mighty doors open.

The room on the other side was expansive, and though constructed out of trash, everything gleamed as if it were made from marble. In the center of the room was the backseat of an old car. It was strung with brilliant white pearls and sat on a pedestal of discarded milk crates. Sabrina thought it resembled a throne but it hardly seemed regal.

The merman guards escorted the girls and their uncle up to the pedestal and forced them onto their knees.

"Show some respect, ground-walkers!" one of the guards barked.

Just then, a door on the far side of the chamber opened and several mermen swam into the room, carrying dented and broken musical instruments. They blew some bubbly, off-key notes, then a tall, thin merman holding a stone tablet swam forward. "All hail, Poseidon's princess. Her majesty, the Little Mermaid!"

Sabrina craned her neck to see the princess, but just then an outrageously overweight mermaid swam through the doors and blocked her view. It wasn't until two mermen helped the enormous half-woman/half-fish onto the throne that Sabrina realized she was indeed looking at the legendary Little Mermaid. It took her assistants several minutes to get the princess into her seat and then several minutes more for the mermaid to get comfortable.

When she was done, she was wheezing like a teakettle. Still, her overabundant body couldn't hide the beauty she was. She had big blue eyes and a mane of gorgeous red hair that flowed to her ankles. She wore a seashell bikini top and an aquamarine sarong. On her head was a pearl-encrusted tiara.

"That's the

Little

Mermaid?" Sabrina said quietly to Uncle Jake.

Uncle Jake nodded. "The breakup was very hard on her. She turned to food for comfort."