The Procedure (11 page)

Tucking a stray hair from my face, I looked away, embarrassed by my reaction to him. “It’s okay,” I rasped.

“No. It most certainly is
not
okay. It was unprofessional of me, and I assure you it won’t happen again.”

I felt deflated by his words. Did I want it to happen again? I’d basically cheated on Michael, and I loved him, I really did, but my body needed what Roman had just given me. Even though I probably should have, I couldn’t bring myself to regret it.

I nodded in agreement since I didn’t trust myself to speak. I wanted so badly to do it again, and I knew if I opened my mouth, that was what would come out. I’d already embarrassed myself enough.

Roman cleared his throat, and silence ensued until the car pulled up in front of my house.

Without looking over at him, I said goodnight and climbed from the car. The cool night air rushed up my dress, cooling my heated flesh and reminding me what I’d done with Roman. Being out of the dense air that surrounded us in the car, I felt like I could breathe again.

It was the strangest thing being so attracted to someone who wasn’t your husband, but I was. God, I was so attracted to Roman. And after that kiss, I wasn’t sure returning to his office was such a good idea. The only problem was that I cared about Roman. He was much more than my doctor—he was my friend. And as much as I told myself I’d never see him again, I was addicted to the way he made me feel.

Stepping into the house, I set my purse on the table by the door and started toward the stairs.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Michael said from a chair in the living rom. He sat there as if he’d been waiting for me.

“I called your phone over and over again. I texted you until my phone died. Whose limo was that and again, where the fuck have you been?”

He was irate. Anger flared in his eyes.

“I was out with friends,” I said truthfully.

“Don’t bullshit me, Sam. You don’t have any friends, and we both know it.”

I started toward the stairs. I wasn’t in the mood to argue with him and honestly, he had no right to question where I’d been. Guilt reared its ugly head as I thought about what had happened in the back of Roman’s limo, but I pushed it down and took the first step.

I was swung around by my arm, Michael’s fingers digging so deeply into my skin that I was sure he could feel my bone.

“Are you fucking someone else?” he asked, his eyes wide, as if he could hardly believe he was saying it himself.

“You’re hurting me, Michael,” I said as I pulled at his fingers and tried to get him to release me.

“Answer me, Samantha! Are you?” He looked down at my dress, and his eyes widened more. “Didn’t I tell you to never wear this dress? Didn’t I tell you that you’re too old for this shit?”

His fingers dug deeper, pain radiating up my arm and into my shoulder.

“Stop it. Let me go, Michael.”

“Just say it. Say you’re fucking someone else. I want to hear it.”

I could hardly believe he was acting the way he was. Nine years we’d been married and never had he laid a hand on me. It was as if he were someone else. As if someone evil had taken over his body.

“There’s no one else, Michael. Please, let me go. You’re hurting me!”

He released me fast, making me lose my balance and fly into the banister. The part of my arm that he’d been squeezing slammed into the wood, sending a shock of pain up my arm and into my shoulder once more.

Without checking to see if I was okay, Michael fled from the stairs, grabbing his coat by the door and slamming the front door behind him.

I WAS PLAYING
with fire, and I already knew I was going to get burned. Hell, I’d burned already in the car with her—died and gone to heaven before falling back into perdition. My body hardened under her kisses, my muscles aching for her touch. And I, the most controlled person I knew, lost it. All self-control flittered away, and all I could think about was thrusting my body against hers.

I wanted to be inside her, all around her—lose myself in her completely. I was prepared to show her everything Michael wasn’t in that moment… prepared to give over all of myself. Thoughts of ripping her panties from her body and pressing into her warm, wet heat rolled through my mind. It wasn’t until I felt the coolness of her wedding band against my cheek that reality slipped back in.

Married. She is married.

The word bounced around my head like a sharpened dagger piercing my conscious and effectively shocking me. I was an honest man. Always had been. I’d prided myself on my honesty all my life. Sleeping with a patient, a married one at that, wasn’t something I wanted to add to my bucket list.

Michael Aldridge was a bloody arse who didn’t deserve Samantha, but who was I to say what anyone else deserved? I was the outsider in that scenario, not him. And while I wasn’t very fond of the man, he was still her husband. He had been there first and evidently, something about him had made Samantha fall in love with him. I needed to remember that his position in her life deserved a tiny bit of respect.

Sure, he was sleeping with every woman he could get his hands on, but that was his demons to lie with, not mine. I wasn’t about to lower myself to his level by sleeping with his wife. No matter how badly I wanted to. Oh, I wanted to, and I wanted to blame the alcohol. Lord knew I’d had enough trying to drink away the way I was feeling for Samantha that night, but I knew what I was doing. I was aware enough to know it was wrong.

I went home that night with the plan to stay away from Samantha. She was my patient. There was no need to see her outside of my office. I even considered telling her that there would be no more procedures for her. Especially since the only procedure I wanted to perform was inserting my body into hers.

I spent Sunday avoiding my phone, which was unlike me since I was a doctor. I wasn’t on call considering my practice, but I always kept my phone close just in case. I knew if she texted me or called, I wouldn’t be able to resist, and I also knew if my phone was in my hand or near me, I was going to text or call her. I had to resist her. There was no other way.

MONDAY MORNING CAME
, and I still hadn’t contacted her or heard from her. Honestly, I was making myself crazy just thinking about her. I couldn’t focus at work or my meeting with Dr. Stein. I’d ruined a perfectly good lab coat with ink, and I’d spilled coffee all over the rug in my office. My day was a mess and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't think of anything but her.

In the end, I canceled all my appointments and left the office as soon as possible. Going to Mama Maria’s, I ordered lunch and a chocolate ball, eating them with memories of our lunch together. When I pulled out my wallet to pay, the fortune I’d gotten on my first visit fell from my wallet, reminding me of what I wanted.

When I killed enough time sipping my water, I left to go see my favorite patients. I spent the ride over to St. Vincent’s replaying Samantha’s sweet noises repeatedly in my mind until I considered pulling over and relieving myself on the side of the road like a randy teenage boy.

Parking in my usual spot, I sat in my car for a bit. I needed to get my mind right before I went inside and put on a happy face for the kids. I wasn’t my usual talkative self with the nurses when I got the files I needed. They noticed. I could tell by the looks they gave each other. But none of them said anything, thankfully.

Looking over the notes from the night nurses, I checked on a few patients before going to visit Tori. My shoes tapped against the hospital floor as I made my way toward her room, but I stopped before stepping into her space when I heard Samantha’s voice.

She was inside, giggling with Tori about something, and her laugh filled me with a sense of happiness. Moving closer to the doorway, but still keeping from being seen, I listened as they talked. Leaning the back of my head against the wall, I smiled to myself as Tori asked awkward questions about things she couldn’t possibly understand.

“Do you like Dr. Roman?” Tori asked.

Samantha chuckled. I closed my eyes and envisioned her smile.

“I do like him very much. He’s a great friend,” she responded.

“Do you think he’s cute?” Tori asked, totally clueless to my situation.

Again, Samantha giggled, and I smiled secretly to myself.

“Well, Tori, I must admit, I think Dr. Roman is a very handsome man. Now, let’s finish this book, shall we?”

She thought I was handsome. Her words seem to make all my thoughts dissolve. There was only her.

I sat and listened as Samantha read a book to Tori. Every now and again, Tori would stop her and ask questions like a normal child her age, but something happened in that moment. Seeing her with Tori, hearing her talk to her the way she was and being so nice to the girl, it finalized everything for me.

I was falling for Samantha. Actually, I was pretty sure I’d already fallen. She was married, but she was perfect in every way possible. And there she was, meeting with my patients, ones close to my heart, when she didn’t have to. She was bringing light to other’s lives without being asked to.

Stopping a nurse, I pulled her to the side. “The lady in Tori’s room…how long has she been here?” I asked.

“Mrs. Aldridge?” the nurse asked with lowered brows.

I was shocked that she knew Samantha’s name. “Yes. Has she been here long?”

“Today no, but she comes by at least once a day to see the kids. They seem to love her.”

I nodded. “Thank you,” I said.

Something warm bloomed in my chest and spread through my body. Samantha Aldridge was perfect. She had no idea how much so.

It was time I faced facts. It was too late. I wasn’t sure how it happened, and God knew I hadn’t meant for it to, but I was in love with her. She did things to me—changed my way of thinking and feeling. She had pushed past my professional barriers and lavished me with feelings I never thought I’d have.

I could deny it as much as I wanted to, but I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to keep her tucked away safely from anyone who made her feel like she was less than wonderful. But the truth was a heartless wench who hurt. Samantha would never be mine. It wasn’t something that was ever going to happen, which meant heartbreak was inevitable.

THREE DAYS WENT
by, and I heard nothing from Roman. I hated thinking that something as stupid as drinking too much and kissing was going to end a friendship that meant so much to me. Although, when I thought about it, what happened between us was way more than kissing.

Remembering how hot he felt between my legs or the way he bucked his hips for more… it was unbearable. I was strung so tightly that I felt as if I would burst at any second if I didn’t get some kind of relief, but there would be none. None from Michael and definitely none from Roman.

Every time I called his office, he was busy, and every time I called his cell, it went to voice mail. I was being ignored, officially, and though it shouldn’t have, it hurt so badly. Three days… that was all it took me to miss Roman. Michael went out of town for weeks, and I didn’t miss him like that. It was wrong… so wrong.

I was being ignored by Roman. After being jerked around and bruised by Michael, I was ignoring him. If it wasn’t for Duke, I would have been one lonely girl for the weekend, but still, I stayed away from Michael. The situation was almost funny, if I hadn’t thought that maybe I was losing my mind. I was more worried about Roman never talking to me again than I was about upsetting Michael. That made me the worst kind of wife.

I continued to go to St. Vincent’s to see the kids every day. Being with them was amazing. Seeing how they took their burns and scars in stride was truly uplifting. Not to mention, the kids themselves were just amazing to be around. I’d gotten my degree in early childhood education when I was younger. Being with the kids made me realize how badly I wanted to teach. I’d given up those dreams the minute I married Michael. Then again, being with the kids also made me realize how badly I wanted a child of my own, too.

Monday morning, I woke to find Michael downstairs eating breakfast. He was usually out of the door without a trace by the time I woke up, so it was strange to see him there eating eggs and reading the paper.

“Good morning, Sam,” he said when I stepped into the kitchen.

I wanted to continue to ignore him, but I was curious what he was up to. “Good morning,” I responded.

When I stepped up to the table, he shocked me when he stood and pulled out a chair for me. It was as if I’d stepped into some alternate reality.

“I made coffee and eggs if you’re hungry.” He smiled down at me.

He looked like the old Michael—the one I’d married so many years ago, but still, something was different. Things were off.

“Thank you,” I stuttered.

I sat, and he put a plate of eggs and a coffee cup in front of me. He even remembered how I liked my coffee—two sugars and cream. The coffee was hot when it moved across my tongue, and the eggs were delicious.

Reaching out, Michael ran his fingertips down my arm and over the purple bruise he’d left. “I’ve never put my hands on you before. It’s not something that will ever happen again,” he said.

It wasn’t an apology, but I’d take it. His fingers shifted and worked up my arm to my shoulder where he palmed my skin and gave me an apologetic grin. Still, things felt weird. I wasn’t sure if it was him or if it was me, but things had changed in the last few weeks. Change was a scary thing. Especially when you didn’t know what it was that had changed.

I SPENT THE
following morning on the beach, searching for shells for Tori and getting sand in my expensive shoes. Doing it reminded me of Roman. Plus, it was fun to play up the mermaid thing with her. I’d even bought her a few mermaid shirts that she fell absolutely in love with. Making her happy made me happy.

With my hands full of goodies for the kids, I made my way through the hall toward Tori’s room. I smiled at the nurses as I passed. They were nice ladies—always doing everything they could for the children. I admired them and all they did.

I was about to walk into Tori’s room when I heard Roman’s voice. The deep timber of his voice moved over me and lifted something heavy from my chest that I hadn’t known was there. Then I heard a woman’s laughter, and the heaviness settled on me once again. Looking over, I saw a beautiful woman with her hands all over Roman.

And then the strangest thing happened. I had a sick desire to rip her arms from her body. I wasn’t much for conflict. Obviously, since I’d walked away when I caught my husband having sex with another woman. However, with Roman it was different. They weren’t having sex, but just the thought of her touching him sent fire up my spine.

My stomach bottomed out, and I suddenly felt as if I were going to be sick. The hallway spun around me as I thought about running somewhere—anywhere—to get away from the scene in front of me, but then he laughed, my heart warmed, and I couldn’t move my feet no matter how badly I wanted to.