The Promise (22 page)

I took terrible risks to escape the house, with Maura’s unfailing assistance. But once, I was so certain I was being followed that I walked for six blocks in the wrong direction and almost got lost in a rabbit warren of streets dangerously close to the wharf area. Fortunately a cable car came by and I jumped on board, travelling on it to the end of the line where it was swung round by the conductor, then headed back downtown. I reached our rendezvous safely, if an hour late.

Should my husband ever discover our secret I would lose whatever small hold I had over him. And he would then most certainly refuse to grant me a divorce.

‘Perhaps we should stop seeing each other,’ Ellis said, when I spoke of these fears. ‘Should I go back to sea, then you would be safe? I’ll have to go soon, I suppose, for financial reasons if nothing else.’

But I wouldn’t hear of it, fearing I might lose him for ever. ‘No, not yet, please don’t leave me now,’ I cried, desperate for his love. ‘I need you here, with me. You are a part of me. I want you to love me.’

‘I do love you, my darling. You know that I do.’

‘I mean I want you to show me how much you love me. I want you inside me.’ I started to kiss him then as I never had before, more urgent, more demanding, tugging at the buttons on his shirt. I felt so vulnerable, so afraid
that I might never break free of Kemp. ‘This might be all we get, Ellis, you and I. We should take what we can, love each other now. Think only of today.’ I heard his small groan as my hands smoothed his bare skin. Then I was fumbling with my own buttons, and he was helping me, pulling, tugging, unlacing, so many silly clothes getting in the way. Nothing seemed to matter but the heat of our desire. When flesh finally touched flesh it was as if we had been set alight, and seconds later we found what we had been seeking for so long. We became one person, joined in spirit, in our hearts, and with our flesh. No one could part us now.

It was the most glorious summer of my life. We continued to meet in the park, as often as we could, but sometimes he took me to out-of-the-way hotels where we could be quite alone without fear of interruption. It was perfectly wicked, and dreadfully dangerous, but nothing could have stopped me from taking the risk. I owed nothing to Kemp now, not even my loyalty.

But finally summer passed, fall arrived with the smell of sweet chestnuts and the glory of falling leaves, and the knowledge that I was pregnant.

I had never felt so alone. Ellis was away at sea, had been for a week or two by the time I realised my predicament. I wasn’t expecting him back any time soon, so had no alternative but to keep my pregnancy secret. I knew that the moment he returned we must make haste to escape. No matter how sketchy or dangerous our plans, however little money we had, we could afford to wait no longer. I couldn’t believe how naive and foolish we’d been in dallying this long, how complacent. We might talk about practicalities, about saving every cent and dime we could, waiting until the moment was right when Kemp had been elected mayor, but really we were simply happily savouring the bliss of being together at last, enjoying our love without a thought for the consequences.

In any case, Kemp had lost. My husband hadn’t been
alone in standing for mayor, there’d been several other candidates from various political parties, but no one could deny he hadn’t campaigned hard. Kemp had been out and about every waking hour on the campaign trail, talking, advising, bribing, bullying, but to no avail. And I, as his wife, had hosted more dinner parties than I cared to recall. Despite all his protection rackets, his dubious ‘retainers’ and devious little tricks to pull in votes, he’d failed to win the number required. Instead, the tall charismatic Eugene Schmitz had been re-elected. No doubt because he was more a man of the people than my husband could ever be.

And Kemp was still visiting brothels, even though I assumed he still slept with my maid. My own relationship with Maura remained as complex as ever, and she took to complaining to me regularly about his habits. I refused to get involved.

‘Why did you do it? I have never understood.’

‘Because you didn’t want him, and I did.’

‘But
why
did you want him when you knew what sort of man he was?’

‘I don’t think I did,’ she admitted, ‘but I love him, so what can I do?’ And on impulse, my heart softened by my own love for Ellis, I put my arms about her and hugged her. She wasn’t a bad person, I told myself, only a very unwise and greedy one. A young woman rather full of her own importance.

Nothing about my husband’s conduct had changed, and I made it a rule to keep well out of his way. I started to loosen my corset, drape shawls about my shoulders,
hoping and praying that he wouldn’t discover my secret. My heart raced with fear at the thought. Heaven knows what he would do to me if he ever found out I was carrying another man’s child.

Fearful also of Maura discovering my condition, I dispensed with her services, not wishing her to see me naked or even in my underclothes.

‘Let’s stop this pretence of being maid and mistress, shall we?’ I said to her one day.

She didn’t flicker an eyelid, perhaps relieved by the suggestion. ‘Very well. If you wish I’ll ask one of the young maids to take my place. But I hope you and I can still be friends.’

‘We will always be that, Maura.’

And strangely we were, despite the fact I had grown to hate and almost fear her. We would sit together of an evening, with our needlework or a book, chatting about inconsequential matters. We did not speak of my husband, or the oddness of our situation. To all outward appearances she was my friend and companion, nothing more, nothing less. In reality she took from me whatever she wanted, whether it be the loan of my gowns, my husband, even my position and status in my own home. And I dared not object.

But once Ellis returned and I was free, Maura could have Kemp all to herself, and welcome. I could hardly wait for that day to come as I ticked the days off my calendar with growing impatience. Then my love and I would never be separated again.

It was my mother who first grew curious. ‘You’ve gone all peaky-looking again, girl. What have you been doing to yourself?’

‘Nothing, Mama, I feel fine, thank you.’

‘Well, you don’t look it.’ She cast me a sideways smile from beneath her lashes. ‘You look to me like a young lady with a secret.’

My heart stopped. ‘I-I can’t think what you mean,’ I babbled. How thankful I was that Maura had not accompanied me on this occasion, having taken to her bed with a cold.

‘Hm,’ Mama said, looking thoughtful.

Deeply grateful that she let the matter drop, I took my leave as hastily as I could. But I could sense her watching me closely every time I called after that, and she would ask Maura veiled questions about the state of my health.

‘I wish I had half her energy,’ Maura would reply. ‘Considering the charity work, and the entertaining she is required to do, she’s a veritable tornado, never still for a moment.’

‘And what of you, Prudence dear?’ I interrupted. ‘I’m sure your social life is much more exciting than mine.’

I always did my best to direct the conversation away from myself and talk about my sister’s latest beau, a favourite topic for speculation. She seemed to have a whole line of young men paying her court, which delighted me. And she continued to wheedle money out of me so that she could keep up appearances. Papa’s business had largely been taken over by Kemp, and ready cash seemed in increasingly short supply. It was galling to realise that
my sacrifice in going through with this marriage had not paid off financially. For that reason alone I never demurred at helping my spoilt sister, hoping that she, at least, might be allowed the privilege of choosing her own husband.

Christmas came and went, my condition becoming harder to disguise, and still with no sign of Ellis. I was distracted from this worry by Maura suddenly deciding to leave, claiming she couldn’t stand to be near Kemp anymore. How could I argue with that, although I begged her not to go? ‘How will I manage without you?’

‘You weren’t planning on staying yourself for much longer, were you? Or have I got that wrong?’

I said no more, but despite the awkwardness of our situation I was sorry to lose her. She’d been my only companion and the house seemed empty without her. Nor was I convinced her reason for going was genuine. For all I knew, my husband may well have set her up in a house of her own somewhere. I told myself it was no concern of mine. As soon as Ellis returned to port, I would be leaving too, just as Maura had suspected.

A week or two later my mother’s curiosity burst forth more forcibly than ever. ‘I have to say you’re looking much better.’

‘Thank you, Mama.’

‘Come now, you can’t fool your own mother. I know that certain look in the eye, that softening of the features, not to mention the bloom on your cheeks. Why, you’re looking almost pretty, child. You’re expecting, aren’t you?’

I was devastated. This was the last thing I needed. I
tried to deny it, without exactly telling a lie. ‘I can’t think where you get these ideas from, Mama.’

She leant forward, sharp eyes narrowing as she closely scrutinised me through her pince-nez. ‘Then why did you shudder when Prudence poured you that cup of coffee just now? There isn’t anything worse for a pregnant lady than the smell of coffee. Unless it is oranges. I never could tolerate fruit of any kind in either one of my pregnancies.’ Collecting her own coffee cup she leant back to quietly sip it, as if she’d solved a major enigma. ‘So, when are you due?’

There seemed little point in arguing. The morning sickness had largely stopped but I still felt somewhat delicate. And that coffee was indeed making me feel decidedly ill, so much so that I was obliged to make my excuses and run for the bathroom. But Mama was still sitting waiting for me in the parlour, bright-eyed and bursting with the excitement of this new knowledge.

I returned to my seat with a resigned sigh. ‘All right, it’s true, I believe I may be pregnant, but please don’t tell a soul. I haven’t even told Kemp yet.’

Mama almost beamed her satisfaction at being proved right. ‘It’s a husband’s privilege to be the first to hear, although I never can understand why they don’t guess, when it’s plain for all to see.’

‘Not everyone sees with a mother’s eye,’ I said with a wry smile. ‘And not all husbands pay such attention to their wives as Papa does with you.’

Setting her coffee cup down with a clatter, Prudence rushed to my side to grasp my hands in hers, a look of
anxiety on her sweet face. ‘Is something wrong, Georgia?’

‘Not at all.’ I had no wish to discuss the state of my marriage with my sister.

‘I’m sure Drew will be delighted by the news. How fortunate you are to have such a charming handsome husband who adores you, and to be about to bear his child. I’m furiously jealous. I shall be eighteen soon, and still haven’t found my soulmate yet,’ she pouted.

I smiled at her. ‘That’s only because you are spoilt for choice. You have, to my knowledge, declined half a dozen proposals.’ But I didn’t disabuse my sister of this romantic view she held of my life, merely begged her to hold her chattering tongue, as it was early days yet.

‘Prudence will end up an old maid, for sure, if she doesn’t stop being so picky,’ Mama sternly warned. ‘And if you’ve any sense you’ll tell your husband right now, girl, before the entire society of San Francisco is buzzing with it.’

‘I will tell him when
I
am good and ready,’ I said.

As luck would have it, Mama, Papa and Prue were coming for dinner to Nob Hill the following Saturday, and barely had Kemp put a glass of sweet sherry into my mother’s hand than she gave him a knowing wink. ‘I dare say Georgia has told you the news?’

‘News, what news?’

I silently groaned. ‘Not now, Mama, please. You promised. Can we talk about this some other time?’

‘Talk about what?’ Kemp asked.

‘Why,’ she said, eyes glinting. ‘The fact that your wife is carrying your son, that’s all.’

Silly Prudence gave an overly dramatic squeal of delight and, running to hug and kiss me, told me how clever I was and how she would just adore being an aunt, giving every impression that this was all a great surprise to her. Papa gruffly offered his congratulations, saying something about it being about time. But the silence from my husband was profound. If I was even breathing I was unaware of it.

At last Kemp drawled, ‘Well, well, who would have believed it?’

‘Oh dear,’ said my mother, pretending to fluster. ‘Have I spoilt the surprise?’

‘It’s certainly that,’ my husband admitted. ‘Although I did think there was something different about her, but couldn’t quite work out what it was.’

Probably because he rarely saw me from one week to the next. I’d made very sure to keep out of his way, even to having my meals sent up to my room.

Mama was giggling like a schoolgirl, batting her eyelashes up at him in a most ridiculous manner. ‘Of course, we don’t yet know that it
will
be a son. It might be a daughter. How would you feel about that, Drew?’

He stared at her for a long moment, then smiled his wintry smile. ‘I’d say there’s always another time, except that I’d much prefer not to wait any longer.’ He came to stand behind me, planted a cold kiss on my cheek as he patted my shoulders. ‘But this is good news. We’d rather given up hope, hadn’t we, dear?’

And as I looked up into his eyes, I felt the icy draught of his knowing gaze shiver down my spine.

He came to my room later, after our guests had gone, walking in without so much as a by your leave. But I made a mental note to have a lock fitted. Hands in pockets, Kemp stood contemplating me with the kind of smile on his handsome face that I’d come to dread.

‘Only you and I are aware that this child has nothing to do with me. So whose is it?’

Somehow I kept a smile fixed to my face, hoping he wouldn’t notice my fear. ‘I-I don’t really think that is any of your business in the circumstances, do you? We are separated, if you recall.’

He glanced about him with a feigned air of innocence. ‘From what I can see we are not only still living in the same house, but both now occupying the same room.’

‘No, we are not.
I
am occupying this room.
You
are visiting, albeit without my permission. I kept my word and stood by you until the elections, now I think it’s time we put our separation on a more official footing. I want that divorce you promised me.’

He leant across the bed towards me, one clenched fist resting on the quilt at either side, trapping me within. ‘There will be another election in two year’s time, and another after that. I mean to be mayor one day, so my moral standing in the community must be unimpeachable.’

I actually laughed out loud at that. ‘You’ve failed miserably in that respect already,’ I scoffed. ‘I can think of no one less moral than you.’

He continued speaking with barely a pause, as if I hadn’t dared to interrupt him. ‘You will remain my wife
until I no longer need one, is that clear? Which could well be some years.’

It seemed that my opinion, my needs, my
life
, didn’t count for anything. I fidgeted crossly in my confined space, sitting very straight so that I did not touch him. ‘No, actually, it isn’t clear at all. You’re sleeping with my maid, no doubt set her up in a house somewhere, and with
whores
, not to mention the corruption you’re involved with. How moral is that? I could spill the beans at any time.’

He stepped away from the bed, put back his head and laughed out loud. His obvious amusement at this remark lasted for so long that I began to prickle with unease.

‘You’re wrong about Maura, I’ve no idea where the silly chit is. But the fact of the matter is, dear wife, that whatever hold you once had over me has now quite lost its bite. The power has shifted back into my hands, as I knew it must if I was patient. Should I choose to do so,
I
could be the one to divorce
you
now. Charged with adultery, it would be
your
reputation that was ruined. Not only that, but were I to refuse to accept this child as my own, once it is born, I could turn you out of
my
house and refuse to allow you to even see it.’

I let out a strangled gasp of horror. ‘You would never do such a thing.’

His gaze on mine was flint hard. ‘Would I not? Did you pick up another homeless sailor, is that it? Since you’ve developed such a passion for them you could move in with him, whoever he is, at the Seamen’s Institute, or in one of the dives on the wharves, or live on the streets
for all I care. And if, by any chance, it happens to be the same sailor, one Ellis Cowper, then I could have him transported. I seem to recall I did that once before. How very enterprising of him to return. This time I could send him further, to the bottom of the ocean, for instance.’