The Pull of Destiny (66 page)

“Not too well,” I said
flippantly.

Well, apart from warning
Principal Herman that he would personally get him fired. But that was only to
be expected.

“What are you going to do
about school?” CiCi asked, a note of concern in her voice.

“Nothing, right now. Even if
I went to another school, I wouldn't be able to concentrate because of these
damn headaches,” I said, coming as close as I would ever come to admitting that
sometimes I couldn't even think when my head was thumping. “But enough of that.
Where are you going?”

“Nino's.”

“Want me to walk you?”

CiCi threw me another
uncertain look before her lips turned up in a tiny smile. “Sure. I mean, if you
don't have anything else to do.”

That was my CiCi. Always the
democrat.

I linked arms with her. “Even
if I did, I would still walk you to Nino's,” I told her.

Her smile grew wider as she
gazed up at me. “You're so sweet.”

“I try my best.”

We started walking along the
sidewalk in silence, hand in hand. I kept shooting her little sideways glances,
hoping she wouldn’t notice me ogling her as we walked. CiCi’s face was devoid
of makeup but she looked perfect, her plump lips quirking as she probably
thought about something funny. Her eyes were bright and happy and that alone
made me smile. Just being round her was enough to give me a positive vibe. Did
everyone feel like this when they were falling in love?

Then my eyes fell on the
faint yet still visible scar under her eye and involuntarily, my stomach
clenched with anger. Here I was, moping around the house thinking about my mom,
and all the while CiCi had a mother figure in her life who didn’t even notice
when her precious niece was getting beaten up by her own son? Where was the
justice in
that
situation?

Kneading her shoulders, I
pulled her closer to me. “What's with your aunt, anyways?” I asked suddenly as
she blinked up at me.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, two things, actually.
Firstly, are you really trying to say she doesn't realize that Nate was
responsible for your busted lip and that cut under your eye?” I asked, tracing
a finger down her cheek.

Eyes wide, she tried to
interrupt me. “Luke-,” she started, but I wanted to say my piece. It had
obviously been niggling at me for a long time and if I didn't say it now, I
might never say it.

I put my hand up to stop her.
“No, really, CiCi. I just have to get this out. Your aunt has to realize that
something’s not right. I mean, did she actually believe your story about you
walking into a door?” I asked her incredulously. “I walk into doors but I never
end up with bruises on my face and a fat lip!”

Damn, I wished I could shake
some sense into the girl. There was no way I enjoyed seeing her low. And
knowing that her aunt could stop it if she knew- that made this situation even
harder.

“She's busy, okay? Luke, my
aunt gives up everything for me, just so that I can go to Dalton and get the
education she thinks I deserve.” She bit her lip, struggling to get her words
out. “The last thing she needs is for me to trouble her with my drama.”

I gently pulled her out of
the way of a lady on rollerblades so that we were standing outside a hair salon
and not directly on the sidewalk.

“Celsi. It's not drama. Your
life is at stake here and your aunt does nothing about it!”

Even though I was trying to
stay calm, just for CiCi's sake, my emotions kept getting the better of me. I
was quite literally at loss for words. Why was she acting so contrary? Didn't
she want to be helped?

“What are you trying to get
at, Luke?” CiCi asked, tilting her head. “Are you trying to blame Aunt Kelly
for Nate's behavior?”

And now she was twisting my
words.

I shook my head, “No. I'm
blaming her for not noticing that you're all bruised up. I don't care how busy
she is, she has to know that something’s up.”

CiCi drew in a shuddering
breath. “She's scared of him too, Luke.”

“But you still have to tell
her.”

“I can't,” CiCi said, shaking
her head frantically. “You don't know Nate. He's an accomplished liar. He'd
spin the story to make himself look good and me look like the bad guy.” She ran
a trembling hand over her hair, patting it down. “What if Aunt Kelly believed
him over me, Luke? She might kick me out because Nate's her own flesh and
blood.”

I looked down into her
beautiful, sad face. It made a gruesome kind of sense. CiCi's aunt probably
would take her sons side, just because he was her son. CiCi didn't really have
back up and she obviously didn't want to sour relations between mother and son
by accusing Nate of beating on her.

But still... “You're the one
with the bruises,” I pointed out softly.

“I know,” CiCi replied in a
voice so low it was almost a whisper. “But sometimes people don't want to see
what’s right in front of them.”

“But what if-,” I started,
knowing I was shooting blanks and not caring. If something I said stuck to CiCi
and made her think, maybe she would take action. Hopefully.

A brave smile on her face,
CiCi said, “Nothing's gonna happen to me, Luke.”

“How can you be so sure?” I
asked, taking her cold hands into mine.

“Just- let's not talk about
this anymore, okay?” Her eyes brimmed with tears and she wiped them away with
the heel of her hand. “Not right now. I need to get to work.”

I sighed, rubbing her back as
we started slowly up the sidewalk again. “Alright. I just- I hate that he does
this to you and you don't have anyone to protect you.” Wrapping my arm around
her, I continued. “I wish I could protect you, but I can't be with you 24/7.”

“Just knowing you care is
enough.”

Not in this case. Caring
wouldn't stop Nate from hitting her, wouldn't wipe her tears. It wasn't enough
for me to just care, I had to do something. I just didn't know what.

“I just wish I could get you
away from Nate.”

CiCi sniffled again. “Me
too,” she whispered.

Suddenly, I asked, “Why won't
your aunt tell you about your dad?”

“What?” CiCi shot me a
puzzled look. Blame my randomness for my tendency to jump from one subject to
another, but I was leading up to something.

“Your aunt. You told me she
might know who your dad is but she won't tell you. Why?”

Maybe if CiCi's dad was in
her life, Nate would be leery of hitting CiCi.

Shrugging, CiCi stared at the
ground as she walked. “Maybe he doesn't want anything to do with me.”

“You also told me that he has
no idea he even has a daughter.” CiCi glanced at me, evidently surprised that I
still remembered. “So if that's true, how could he not want to have anything to
do with you when he doesn't even know you exist?”

A tiny smile worked its way
onto CiCi's lips. “You remember too much,” she mock pouted.

“Yeah, it’s a bad habit,” I
said, grinning back at her.

“I don't know why she won't
tell me,” CiCi replied, looking at me pensively. “She probably doesn't want me
to get my hopes up too high. What if he did know about me but wanted nothing to
do with me?”

Personally, I didn't see that
happening. How could anyone not want anything to do with CiCi? She was one of
the most special people I'd ever met.

“But if he knew about you and
knew that you're being abused, wouldn't he do something to make sure that Nate
never put his hands on you again? I mean, Nate wouldn't be the only father
figure in your life anymore. He might think twice about his method of teaching
you discipline when your dad is in your life.” CiCi shrugged, not looking too
convinced. I understood what she was thinking. She'd already been abandoned by
her own mother. Why would her dad want her too? “Abusers are usually cowards.”

“I don't know, Luke,” CiCi
replied, sounding listless. I hated the dejection I could hear in her voice.
She sounded like she had just given up. “She has a good reason for not telling
me.”

Or a selfish one.

We walked the rest of the way
in silence. Outside the deli, CiCi turned to look at me.

“I gotta go,” she whispered.

Biting my lip, I reached out
to her. “Hey, I'm really sorry for- everything, okay? I didn't mean to
disrespect your family in any way, especially your aunt.”

CiCi nodded. “Okay.”

“I just get all defensive
when I see shit like this happening to you, CiCi. I hate seeing you in pain.
I'm sorry if I went overboard.”

Patting my arm lightly, CiCi
said, “It's okay, Luke, really. I understand where you're coming from. Besides,
I'm glad you get fired up about the stuff I go through.” She smiled at me. “It
makes me feel like I'm not alone.”

I impulsively reached out and
hugged her tight. “I've always got your back,” I whispered in her ear. “I don't
wanna push you, but can you do me a favor?”

She pulled back, squinting at
me. “What?”

“Just think about telling
your aunt. You don't have to tell her anything, but just think about it.
Please.”

Her shoulders dropped and she
nodded, all the fight seeping out of her. “Fine Luke, I will.”

“Thanks, CiCi.” I swallowed
hard, looking at her. “Can I kiss you?”

She flushed prettily as I
asked her. “Yes,” she whispered, letting my lips move over hers in a slow,
sweet kiss. “Thanks for walking me.”

“No problem,” I replied,
watching as she walked into the deli and let the door swing shut behind her.

I started walking down the
sidewalk, hailing a cab at the intersection.

My first plan had been to go
back home and take refuge in my room, but now I had other plans. This whole
CiCi thing was eating me up. Even though we were both in the same kind of
situation (AWOL moms) at least I had a family, albeit with an emotionally
unavailable dad. CiCi didn't even know her father. And didn't she deserve to
know him and vice versa? If I found out that I had a baby somewhere (God
forbid) I would want to see him or her as soon as I could.

My mind mulled over a
devilishly conniving idea. Would it be considered meddling if I went to see
CiCi's aunt and asked her for her dad’s information?

Yes. Totally.

But why would Aunt Kelly not
tell me, especially when CiCi seemed like she wanted to know? It might make her
day, just knowing that her dad was out there somewhere and she could get in
touch with him. And goodness knows, CiCi deserved some good to come her way.

Trying to find out from Aunt
Kelly wouldn't hurt. If she refused to tell me anything, at least I tried. And
if she decided to tell me who CiCi's dad was- well, that was another story.

I made up my mind not to tell
CiCi's aunt about the abuse she was receiving at the hands of Nate, though. It
was CiCi's decision whether she wanted to tell her aunt or not. If it was up to
me, I would have told her that day CiCi got beaten up by Nate, but CiCi clearly
couldn't bring herself to tell her. And I didn't want to be the one who caused
the drama. I didn't want CiCi to hate me for it.

CiCi's Apartment Building

The cab parked outside CiCi's
housing unit, the driver gunning the engine as though he just couldn't wait to
get the hell out of there. I knew how he felt. This wasn't a neighborhood you
wanted to get stranded in. Dope dealers lounged against the graffiti covered
walls, watching me as I pulled my hood up and walked into the building. The
wail of police sirens made me feel even more nervous, and as I walked up the
stairs to CiCi's apartment, I kept expecting to run into a drunken Nate. Not
exactly a comforting thought.

I made it up to CiCi's front
door, trying to step as lightly as I could. Those floorboards were as creaky as
they came. The last thing I wanted to do was fall through into someone else's
ceiling. Raising my hand, I knocked on the door, picking flecks of peeling paint
from my knuckles.

Time to think up a game plan.
Even though I knew why I was there, I had no idea what I was going to say to
CiCi's aunt. Stupid of me, I should have planned it all out in my head in the
cab ride over here, but I got distracted every time I thought about that scar
under CiCi’s eye. So sue me.

Oh, well. When in doubt,
improvise.

I took a deep breath as I
heard shuffling steps coming from inside the apartment and hoped that what CiCi
had said about Nate being out was true. How late was 'late' in Celsi speak?
Because if he was already back from his boozing, I was about to be in a lot of
trouble as soon as the door opened.

The door opened a crack and
an eye squinted at me. I breathed a sigh of relief. Not Nate. Thank God.