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Authors: Parnell Hall

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BOOK: The Puzzle Lady vs. the Sudoku Lady
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“There's no need for a speech,” Judge Hobbs said irritably. “The court notes you decline to cross-examine. Chief Harper, you may step down. Miss Felton, call your next witness.”
“That's a problem, Your Honor. I'd like to call Thelma Wilson. She could clear this right up. Unfortunately, she's dead.”
“What a shame the defendant happened to kill the very person who could have cleared her,” Henry Firth said sarcastically.
Judge Hobbs banged the gavel. “That will do. Would you like to call anyone who's still living?”
“Call Dennis Pride.”
“Objection, Your Honor.”
“On what grounds?”
“Dennis Pride is a suspect in this investigation. As such, he needs to be represented by counsel.”
“There she sits.”
“He
can't
be represented by her. It's a conflict of interest.”
Cora waggled her fingers. “Sorry. You can't use that argument. That is yet to be determined. Or we wouldn't be here.”
Dennis Pride stepped up to the witness stand, with very much of the star persona he affected in his role as the lead singer of his band—cocky, arrogant, self-assured. “No problem, Your Honor. I waive my right to counsel at this hearing. I have nothing to fear and nothing to hide. I am just as eager to get this straightened out as anyone.”
“Well, that's a refreshing attitude,” Judge Hobbs said.
“Refreshing, hell,” Henry Firth said. “I don't care how disingenuous this young man is. If I have to charge him with something, he'll start singing a different tune—how whatever he said is inadmissible because he was deprived of counsel.”
“Are you thinking of charging him?” Cora said. “Believe me, Minami will be relieved.”
Judge Hobbs banged the gavel. “That will do. Everyone is aware that there are two parties involved. We do not need to be constantly reminded. If this young man wants to testify, swear him in.”
Dennis took the oath.
Cora said, “Dennis, I know this is a ticklish situation. I'm not going to ask anything that might get you into trouble. Let's start with a few preliminaries. You were being blackmailed by Thelma Wilson?”
Henry Firth jumped to his feet. “Objection! After that fine speech about this young man not needing representation, she comes out and accuses him of a crime!”
“I don't think
being
blackmailed is a crime, Your Honor.
Blackmail
is, but no one's charging Thelma Wilson.”
“Nonetheless, Miss Felton, you are treading a very fine line.”
“Might I point out that the witness hasn't answered the question?”
“I haven't ruled on the objection.”
“That's probably why, Your Honor.”
A ripple of amusement ran through the crowd. Once again, Judge Hobbs wondered what he could possibly do that would not make him seem more foolish.
“I want to answer, Your Honor,” Dennis said. “Only my attorney has advised me not to.”
“Your attorney?”
“Becky Baldwin.”
“Ms. Baldwin, have you so advised your client?”
“Yes, Your Honor.”
“Well, there you are. We have a clear-cut conflict of interest. It is obviously in your other client's best interests to have him answer.”
“I fail to see why, Your Honor.”
“You fail to see
why
?”
“With all due respect, Your Honor—”
“Excuse me,” Cora said, “but I believe I am speaking in Ms.
Baldwin's behalf. I would like to point out that as attorney in this case, Ms. Baldwin is privy to some facts to which you, the judge, are not. And to which the prosecutor is not. I would like to point out that that is right and proper, and within the scope of a defense attorney. She is under no obligation to make any of this information available to anyone. In fact, during the course of the trial, she is not obliged to put on any evidence whatsoever but may merely attack the prosecutor's side of the case. And many defenses have been waged and won on that notion. If, however, she is astute enough to realize that her client's case cannot be compromised by the withholding of evidence that is irrelevant to the situation, there can be no conflict to resolve.”
“Once again,” Henry Firth said, “the woman is making an assertion that is unsupported by facts. I defy her to produce any evidence to back up this wild assertion.”
“Miss Felton,” Judge Hobbs said, “I understand your contention. But your argument is unconvincing. I am still waiting to hear something of substance.”
“Very well,” Cora said, “call Minami.”
The Sudoku Lady rose from her seat next to Becky Baldwin, and in full geisha garb trailing clouds of silk, paraded to the witness stand.
“You are calling the defendant?” Judge Hobbs said, incredulously.
“I have no objection, Your Honor,” Henry Firth put in brightly.
“I'm sure you don't. But her attorney should object. Ms. Baldwin. You are this woman's attorney?”
Becky smiled. “That is what this hearing is to determine.”
“But you
claim
to be her attorney?”
“I
am
her attorney. Unless you rule otherwise.”
“And you are allowing her to take the stand?”
“Absolutely, Your Honor.”
“She will not only be questioned by Cora Felton but she will also be interrogated by the district attorney. Who, no doubt, will give her a rigorous interrogation.”
“I'm sure he will, Your Honor. And I'm sure it won't hurt her in the least. My client is innocent and has nothing to hide.”
“If she has nothing to hide, why won't you let her tell her story?” Henry Firth blurted out.
“Oh, Your Honor,” Cora Felton said, “I assign that remark as a blatant attempt to castigate the defendant for exercising her constitutional rights.”
“I fear it is,” Judge Hobbs said. “Though I appreciate the frustration from which it sprang. Mr. Firth, if you could attempt to control your temper.”
“Yes, Your Honor.”
“Ms. Baldwin. Before we proceed further, let me make one more attempt to clarify the situation. You do understand that should your client reveal something that was damaging to her in the course of this examination, the only grounds on which she could argue for it being inadmissible during the trial, would be that she was inadequately represented by an incompetent attorney, whose ineptitude was so great as to constitute legal malpractice.”
“Well put, Your Honor,” Cora said. “Becky, did you hear that? If you mess up, the only way she gets off is proving you're a dummy. Is that okay with you?”
Becky smiled. “This may surprise you, but I understood the situation even without your interpretation. Your Honor, I am concerned for neither my client's safety nor my own. May we continue?”
Judge Hobbs scowled. “One moment. Should it turn out that you have jeopardized your client's safety in an effort not to
lose
your client, that would not be taken lightly.”
Cora smiled. “I think no one could claim she has not been duly warned, Your Honor.”
“Very well. As long as that is understood, you may proceed.”
“Thank you, Your Honor. Minami, you are known in Japan as the Sudoku Lady?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Just as I am known as the Puzzle Lady over here?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me something. When sudoku are found at crime scenes in Japan, do the police consider you a suspect?”
Minami smiled. “They do not. They ask for my help. In my own country I have actually assisted the police in solving several crimes.”
“So you don't feel the presence of sudoku puzzles at crime scenes should reflect adversely on you?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I'm sorry. There were sudoku at the crime scenes. That doesn't mean you're guilty.”
“Of course not. What a silly idea.”
“You think it's silly that the police consider you a suspect?”
“Of course it is. I didn't kill anyone.”
“Oh, Your Honor,” Henry Firth said, “this is not testimony. This is just a self-serving declaration. I'm sure if we let her, this woman could go on proclaiming her innocence all afternoon. Her bland assurance is not evidence. Any more than her attorney's assurance that her legal rights are not being compromised.”
“I quite agree,” Judge Hobbs said. “Miss Felton, we take your point. Could you move things along?”
“Yes, Your Honor. Minami, you know that Dennis Pride received a blackmail letter from Thelma Wilson?”
“I don't know it for a fact. I heard you say so.”
“Exactly. Tell me, did Thelma Wilson send
you
a blackmail letter?”
The question produced an uproar in the courtroom.
Judge Hobbs banged the gavel. “Order! Order in the court! Miss Felton, were you an attorney, I would assign that question as misconduct, betraying the rights of the client you were sworn to protect. As you are a layperson speaking for Becky Baldwin, such is not the case. Nonetheless, I would expect the woman's attorney to object.”
“I have no objection,” Becky said.
“And I certainly have no objection,” Henry Firth added.
“Well,
someone
should object,” Judge Hobbs said. “The woman is the defendant in a murder case. The question is highly detrimental to her well-being, establishing a clear-cut motive for the crime.”
“Oh, pooh,” Cora said, “she has a motive for the murder, Your Honor. Everyone knows that. We'll stipulate to it.”
Judge Hobbs's eyes were bugging out of his head. “
You
can't stipulate to it! You're not an
attorney
!”
“Well, they make you go to law school,” Cora said. “I'm sick of school.”
“Miss Felton, this is no laughing matter. You're not an attorney, but you can be held in contempt of court. I've warned you before, and I'm warning you again. Have some respect for the courtroom.”
“Yes, Your Honor. But if we're going to clear up this minor matter of whether these clients can share representation, we have to examine the facts. And the fact is, this woman got a blackmail note. If you'd rather have her attorney stipulate to it, I understand.”
Becky stood up. “I'm willing to stipulate to the note, Your Honor.”
Judge Hobbs glowered. “You realize you're just digging yourself in deeper.”
Becky smiled. “Not at all, Your Honor. The facts of the case exonerate me, just as they do my client. I know it perfectly well, and, if we're allowed to advance them, you'll know it, too.”
“Now
you're
bordering on contempt of court.”
“I'm sorry. No disrespect meant, Your Honor, but it's hard to establish your innocence when people keep telling you not to.”
“You claim this blackmail note demonstrates your client's innocence?”
“Only incidentally, Your Honor. With regard to the matter at hand, it demonstrates why I should be free to act as her attorney. I would like to reiterate that I have been duly warned about my responsibilities to my client and myself and that I know what I am doing. So, if you'll allow Miss Felton to continue, I think you'll be satisfied with the results.”
“If I may continue, Your Honor,” Cora said, “we just established this woman got a blackmail note. I would imagine everyone would like to know something about it. What do you say we find out?”
Without waiting for the judge to rule, Cora turned back to Minami. “In what form was this blackmail note?”
“It was a crossword puzzle and a sudoku.”
The place went wild.
Judge Hobbs nearly broke his gavel, but he finally got the courtroom quieted. “All right, that will do,” he said. “Another outburst of this type, and I will clear the courtroom. The only reason I'm not doing it now is I appreciate the rather spectacular nature of what you just heard. However, the element of surprise is over. Should this happen again, I will clear the court. Miss Felton, you may proceed. I just hope you know what you are doing.”
“You and me both, Your Honor,” Cora said. “Minami, you just testified you got a blackmail note in the form of a crossword puzzle and a sudoku. How did you get it?”
“It was delivered to my motel.”
“Were you there at the time?”
“No, I was in jail. My niece brought it to me.”
“Did your niece see who delivered it?”
“No. It was in an envelope slipped under the door.”
“Was there anything else in the envelope?”
“No. Just the crossword puzzle and the sudoku.”
“What did it say on the envelope?”
“‘To the Sudoku Lady.'”
“Was there a return address?”
“No.”
“How did you know it was a blackmail note?”
“The crossword puzzle said so.”
“What did it say?”
“‘Sit in jail for a spell. Never fear, I won't tell.'”
“Who was it from?”
“Thelma Wilson.”
“But you say it wasn't signed. How could you tell?”
“There were clues in the puzzle.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. They referred to the sudoku. They told me which numbers to choose.”
“Could you explain that to the court?”
“Yes. Clue 17 Across was ‘Horizontal row in sudoku.' The answer was ‘Fifth.' That told me to look at the fifth row across.
“Clue 29 Across was ‘Number of numbers in numbered row.' The answer was ‘Three.' That told me to look at the first three numbers in row five.
“28 Down was ‘With sudoku, address of house you went in.' The answer was ‘Elm.'
“With the three numbers from the sudoku, the answer was ‘146 Elm.'”
“And what did 146 Elm mean to you?”
“It did not mean anything to me. I had to have my niece look it up.”
“What did she find?”
“146 Elm was the address of Sheila Preston.”
“The woman who was killed?”
“Yes.”
“The woman who lived across the street from Thelma Wilson?”
“Yes.”
“And Sheila Preston was the woman you were in jail on suspicion of murdering?”
“That's right.”
“So, the sudoku that came with the crossword puzzle turned out to mean something?”
“Yes, it did.”
“How about the sudoku found on the body of Sheila Preston? Did that mean anything?”
“No, it did not.”
“And the sudoku found with Thelma Wilson. What about that one?”
“It did not mean anything either.”
“When the police let you go, did they know about the puzzle and the sudoku your niece found at the motel?”
“No, they did not.”
“But you did, and you knew what they meant?”
“Yes, I did.”
“So, when you got out of jail, did you immediately go kill Thelma Wilson?”
“No, I did not.”
“What did you do?”
“I went to see you.”
“But not to kill me?”
“No.”
“Why did you come to see me?”
“To tell you I was out of jail. And that the contest could continue.”
“What contest?”
“To see who could solve the crime.”
“And why should we do that?”
“Because that is what I do in my country. And that is what you do in yours.”
“I see,” Cora said. “So you came here to challenge me, is that right?”
Minami nodded. “Yes.”
Cora unbuttoned her long tweed coat, took it off, and threw it on the defense table. She was wearing a white
gi
, the Japanese martial arts uniform. She pivoted on Minami and struck a karate pose.
“Bring it on!”
BOOK: The Puzzle Lady vs. the Sudoku Lady
6.98Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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