The Question (3 page)

“Oh, I was wondering what was taking so long. That’s good. Gail would hate being here without any transportation. She’s very independent.”

“So I’m beginning to see. The only reason she agreed to stay with us is because the doctor threatened to keep her in the hospital,” he stated with a grimace.

“I can’t wait until she gets here. This is going to be so much fun.”

Rashid frowned. “Sweetling, she’s under doctor’s orders to stay in bed.”

“Rashid, Gail isn’t sick. She just needs to eat. I know her. She won’t be able to stay in bed all day. I’ll make sure she gets plenty of rest and we’ll still have fun. You’ll see.”

Rashid didn’t comment.  He wasn’t pleased with his wife’s attitude. Having miscarried several times, he thought she’d be more conscious of the risks. 

At his continued silence, Crystal said, “Honey, trust me. I want this baby as much as you. I won’t let her overdo it, but she won’t be happy if we treat her like an invalid. Gail is not me.  She’s strong. She knows her body and its limitations. Everything will be fine. I’ll see you when you get home.”

“Alright.” He disconnected the call, still deeply disturbed. He’d have to monitor the situation closely.  His only consolation was that Crystal’s work as an interior decorator sometimes required her putting in long hours. She would be gone for much of the day, giving Gail an opportunity to rest, and he would be home at night to ensure that she didn’t overdo it. This baby was too important to him for them to take any chances with its well being.

* * * *

Gail drove towards Crystal and Rashid’s home, wondering how much this was going to cost her emotionally. She was pregnant with her best friend’s child, and now she was going to be living in their home for the next two weeks. This whole situation was wrong, any way you looked at it.

Because of this baby, she was being dragged deeper and deeper into their lives. Somehow, she’d thought she would get pregnant; she and Crystal would hang out like they’d always done, and in nine months she’d hand over a bouncing baby to the happy parents and that would be the end of it. That’s the impression she gained from the material she’d read on surrogate mothers. Of course, in none of those cases did the surrogate happen to be best friends with the couple. Still, she thought their friendship would make things easier for her. It’s wasn’t.

She wasn’t prepared for the emotional toil this pregnancy was taking. Memories of her pregnancy with Marcus and the way Jason had pampered her rose when least expected. Add those to the hormonal fluctuations and she frequently found herself in the midst of crying jags and depression the likes of which she hadn’t experience since the early days of their deaths.

In addition to all of that, in all the time that she’d known Crystal, the two of them had never actually spent any time living under the same roof. Somehow, she’d instinctively known that if they had ever tried to cohabitate, their friendship wouldn’t survive the process. Now their relationship was going to be put to the test, and at the worst possible time.

Maybe she was being silly, seeing problems where there weren’t any. Still, she couldn’t help thinking about the cardinal rules her mom had taught her about girlfriends and relationships. You never vented or complained about your man to your friends when you were mad with him, because when you calmed down, they were still mad on your behalf. After too many complaints, they would take an active disliking to your man and become vocal in their encouragement for you to end the relationship. You never bragged about your man because some heifer that you thought was your friend would see the good thing you’ve got and try to steal him from you. And finally, you never, ever allowed any of your single, non-committed friends to live under the same roof with you and your man or spend a lot of time with the two of you. That was just asking for trouble.

It was true that while Jason was alive, the two couples spent a lot of time together. Now that he was gone, Gail spent most of her time with just Crystal, never forgetting that Crystal had a husband and responsibilities. Rarely were the three of them together like the other night at her apartment. Gail cleared her mind of gloomy thoughts as she pulled into the circular drive in front of Crystal’s house. She was here now. Her only alternative was to remain at the hospital and she couldn’t see herself doing that. She pasted a smile on her face as Crystal came rushing out of the door and down the steps, a big welcoming grin on her face.

“I hate to say ‘I told you so,’ but I did.  I told you if you didn’t start eating the doctor was going to sic Rashid on you.”

“Yes, you did. Looks like I’m your patient for the next two weeks.”

“Patient? Spft. You’re not a patient. Get a little food in you, a little rest and you’ll be good as new. In the meantime, we can have lots of fun, starting right now.  I hope you brought your suit with you because today’s a perfect day to lounge by the pool. Miguel will take your bags to your room and Carmelita’s fixing lunch. Go get changed and I’ll meet you on the patio in fifteen minutes. You’re in the main guest suite.”

Gail heaved a silent sigh of relief. The room she was referring to doubled as a cabana and had its own separate entrance off of the patio. It was loosely connected to the house by the kitchen and was a good distance from the master bedroom. She was close enough to be considered under their roof and keep them happy, but not so close that she intruded on their privacy. 

She followed Miguel to her room and unpacked her bathing suit, a modest one piece. With the heat index in the high 80s, today was the perfect day to lie by the pool. Maybe being off of work for the next two weeks wouldn’t be too bad. She could sure use the rest. She got sleepy at the oddest moments. She grabbed a towel, opened the door, and walked out to the poolside.

Carmelita was already there setting up lunch. “Looks good, Carmelita, as always,” Gail said as she stooped down to give her a kiss on the cheek.

Carmelita smiled her appreciation.  “We’re going to take good care of you, Ms. Gail. You and the niño. Feed you lots of food. Ms. Crystal, she hire this nutritionalist but I tell her, Ms. Gail just need some of my cooking and she be fine.”

Gail sat at the table and allowed Carmelita to serve her, knowing she needed to eat but her stomach already rebelling at the thought of it. In front of her, Carmelita set a glass of tea. “You drink this first. It will settle your stomach. Then you nibble on the food I give you. Si’?”

“Okay, Carmelita. You’re the boss.” Gail picked up the tea and took a small sip.  The soothing taste of peppermint filled her mouth. “It’s peppermint. Mmm.”

“Si.’ Peppermint with honey. Very good for the stomach. Calms it so that you can eat.”

“Thank you, I’m feeling better already.”

She smiled broadly. “Remember, nibble and sip. When you’ve had enough, stop, and el niño will be satisfied.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Gail said smartly and saluted her, laughing when Carmelita popped her with her apron before returning to the kitchen.

Looking at the spread before her, Gail decided to start with fruit. The cantaloupe looked very appealing to her today. She forked a piece and put it on her plate. As she bit into it, she almost moaned in pleasure as the sweet juices flooded her mouth and rolled down her cheek. Disregarding the other items on the table, she attacked the melon, gorging herself, piece by piece, until it was all gone.

It was only as she lay the last rind on her plate that she became aware of Rashid’s presence.  Gail flushed uncomfortably as she wiped her hands and mouth, aware of the picture she must make.  “How long have you been standing there?” she asked uncomfortably.

“Long enough to know that we must be sure to keep a supply of melons on hand for your enjoyment. I’ve never seen anyone eat their food with such gusto,” Rashid said with a gleam of amusement in his eyes as he came closer and seated himself at the table.

Whatever reply Gail would have made was lost as Crystal came breezing onto the patio, her body barely covered in a skimpy, red bikini, the white cover up flapping behind her. “Oh, good,” she called out gaily, “food’s already on the table.”  She ran her hands along Rashid’s shoulders as she passed him and took a seat at the table next to him.

Filling her plate with salad, she kept up a steady stream of chatter, regaling Gail and Rashid with tales of the client’s home she was currently working on and designer horror stories of clients she’d served in the past.

Lunch passed swiftly and soon, Crystal and Gail were lounging by the pool, relaxing in the ocean breeze. Rashid had returned to the office. There was a lull in the conversation. Then Crystal turned to Gail.  “I really appreciate you doing this for me. I know this is taking more effort than you thought it would. I can’t thank you enough.”

“You’re welcome. What are friends for? Yes, it’s harder than I thought it would be. I wasn’t sick like this with Marcus. I just breezed through that pregnancy. I thought this one would be the same,” she said, ignoring the now familiar pang at the thought of the child she’d lost.

“Well, whatever the case, you’re strong. Stronger than I am. You can handle it. We just need to find food that you can keep down,” Crystal said encouragingly.

“Crystal, you’re not weak. It’s not your fault that you’ve miscarried. Please don’t blame yourself. You know that doctors don’t know everything. Just because they can’t determine the source of the problem doesn’t mean that it’s you.”

“My head knows that but my heart says otherwise. You know one of the specialists I went to actually suggested that the problem was that Rashid and I were incompatible. That it was something about our combined chemistry that was the reason I couldn’t carry a baby to full-term.”

“I’ve never heard of that, unless he was talking about that RH factor stuff. You know, where the mother has a positive blood type and the babies negative? I’ve heard that can cause miscarriages if the doctor doesn’t catch it in time.”

“I don’t think that’s what he was talking about. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. You know after the last miscarriage, Rashid put his foot down. No more pregnancies for me. I failed him,” Crystal stated dejectedly.

“You did not fail him! How can you say that? It’s obvious to anyone with eyes that Rashid loves you for more than your ability to give him a child. Why do you keep putting yourself down like this?  Like you’re somehow less of a woman because you haven’t been able to carry a child to term. Having a baby is not what makes you a woman. You’ve got a good man who loves you, a wonderful home, a great marriage, and the job of your dreams. Most of all, you’re a wonderful person. Your womanhood is not defined by your ability to procreate. You need to get that out of your head. What does your counselor say?”

“I don’t know. I stopped going. He was a quack. How is a man going to understand my desire to have a child?” Crystal asked scornfully.

“Maybe he couldn’t, but why don’t you find another counselor, a woman? Or maybe a support group of women who will understand because they’re going through the same thing?” Gail hated to see Crystal like this.

“The last thing I want to do is be with a bunch a loser women crying into their cups about not being able to have children. I’m fine. You’re absolutely right. I have a lot to be grateful for, and I’m not going to let this one little failing become more important to me than all the good in my life. Rashid is a good man, a great husband, and I’m an awesome interior decorator.  Soon, I’ll be a wonderful mommy, thanks to my generous friend,” she told Gail with a smile.

Gail returned Crystal’s smile but inside, she was concerned. She really wished Crystal would seek out a support group. She didn’t think Crystal was adjusting as well as she thought she was, but Gail kept her fears to herself. She couldn’t make Crystal get the help she so obviously needed.  All she could do is continue to be there for her.

* * * *

The two weeks passed by swiftly, and before Gail knew it, it was time to return to the doctor.  Crystal had an important meeting with her client so Rashid accompanied her. Dr. Hagan wasn’t doing a full pelvic exam on this visit.  This one was just to determine if she was to be allowed off bed rest and could return to work.

It felt strange, sitting in the waiting room with Rashid. She noticed some of the other women in the waiting room sliding envious glances her way.  She wanted to cry out, ‘He’s not mine. I’m just a friend,’ but didn’t because really, it wasn’t any of their business.

Still, she supposed she could understand their envy. Rashid was an attractive man and an extremely courteous one as well. He carried his power and wealth around him like an aura. You just knew he was someone important as soon as he stepped into the room.

They called her name at the door and Rashid clasped her elbow to help her to stand before escorting her to the back. He stood by her side while her vitals were taken. Then he followed as she was directed by the nurse not to the office as she expected, but to an examination room.

“Excuse me,” she said to the nurse. “I thought this was just a follow up from the hospital?” Gail was uncomfortably aware of Rashid’s presence.  There was no way she was undressing with him around.

“It is. Dr. Hagan wants to check the baby’s heartbeat. You don’t have to disrobe. Just sit on the table and he’ll be in shortly.”

Gail nodded in agreement, glad she’d worn loose-fitting trousers and a top rather than the dress she’d started to wear. When Rashid requested to come with her, she hadn’t given any thought to how much intimacy they would be forced into with his presence.