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Authors: Shlomo Wexler

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From
Pittsburgh, they drove up Route 79 to its junction with Route 90 at Erie, PA.
Shulamit was at the wheel because Aaron’s license was issued in New York and he
was not certain about reciprocity. At Dunkirk, New York, they paused for a pit
stop and Aaron took over the driving. Aaron had to be especially careful
because the sports car was extremely powerful and accelerated rapidly. Shulamit
who had made the drive many times directed Aaron to the university through the
heavy urban traffic.

At
1:00 o’clock they arrived at the campus parking lot, and Shulamit ran in to
secure her documents. She opened the reports and was quite satisfied with her
grades. She then parked the car in the school park and unpacked the lunch.
There were cups in the package and both she and Aaron washed their hands for
bread.

During
lunch, she showed Aaron four ‘A’ grades and smiled proudly. “Did I forget to
tell you that at the graduation in June I was the salutatorian for the college
ceremony and graduated sigma cum laude? I was beaten out by .002 for the honor
of valedictorian by Jerry O’Connor, who is not even Jewish.”

Aaron
was somewhat surprised at her bigotry and remarked, “The Talmud says, ‘If a
gentile is said to have Torah knowledge don’t believe it, but if it is said
that he has regular wisdom, you may believe it.’”

Shulamit
sighed. “Such is life. My parents and sisters were present because as an
honoree I was entitled to extra seats. At the end of the ceremonies, when I
came to the parking lot, there was Larry sitting in a brand new sports car that
my father gave me as a graduation present.

After
a short lunch, Aaron continued the drive to Niagara. Shulamit had made sure
that Aaron had his passport with him and he presented both passports to the
immigration authorities. He told them he was planning only a short visit to the
falls. They arrived at their destination at 2:30 PM. Including a boat trip on
the Maid of the Mist, they spent three and a half hours at the site. On the way
home, they paused for dinner at the kosher restaurant in Buffalo.

While
driving, they conversed at length. Aaron told Shulamit about his New York City
background. He told her that his parents came from Europe with no knowledge of
English and struggled for years to bring up four children, including Aaron’s
sister and two brothers. After a short number of years, they were able to buy a
small grocery store and managed to earn a meager livelihood. Much of their
funds were spent on tuition for Aaron and the other children. It was only due
to a generous scholarship from the yeshiva that Aaron was able to continue his
studies in Pittsburgh. He read many books avidly in high school and continued
reading while he was in college. His grades in philosophy and political science
were well above average and his marks in literature were slightly above
average. He did not choose to study any professional courses because he did not
anticipate working in any other field but the rabbinate.

Shulamit
described her academic work as well. Because she was involved in her father’s
business during the summers, she took many credits in computer science. She was
somewhat of a campus celebrity in that area when it became widely-known that
she was the daughter of Abe Levine, who owned the largest computer supply house
on the East Coast. Other students constantly inquired about the availability
and prices of the newest equipment and she advised them as much as possible. As
for her other subjects, she majored in English and foreign languages. In
extracurricular activities, she was deeply involved in drama and musical
groups. All through her college career, her professors added flattering
comments to her grades. When Aaron asked her how come she was so smart,
Shulamit attributed her wisdom to her father, who was truly a genius, and her
mother, who was an outstanding student in her own right.

After
enjoying dinner at the kosher restaurant, they shared the driving on the way
home and continued their conversation on any number of subjects. Shulamit was
happy when she dropped Aaron near the yeshiva.

On
that night Aaron suffered from pangs of conscience and could not fall asleep
quickly. He recalled that when the shofar sounded to mark the end of Yom Kippur,
he had experienced a real fantastic high. He had successfully taken the first
step in his career to become a congregational rabbi. With a minimum of
preparation and training, he brought words of prayer and learning to two
hundred congregants who listened attentively to him. His performance exceeded
all expectations and bode well for him in the future.

  
For an aspiring rabbi, the first sermon is the highest hurdle and teaching
words of Torah is equally frightening. He was grateful that he was not terrified
by the experience and, after the first few minutes of performing, his anxiety
and nervousness faded away. He appreciated the support he was given by his
friends and faculty members of the yeshiva. Nor did he feel deprived of any
spirituality by not attending services at the yeshiva where there existed a
high level of holiness.

 
When his thoughts turned to his date with Shulamit, a strong feeling of guilt
set in and lessened the exaltation he felt after the Yom Kippur prayers. Aaron
had no prior experiences of any sort with women. In his collegiate studies he
had seen and heard women classmates. Most of them were married and virtually
all were older than him. Few were Jewish, and even fewer were aware of what a
yeshiva was. Aaron was able to ignore them. To him, the idea of any future
marriage never had any sense of reality. He assumed that his father would
someday approach the rabbi in charge of the Bais Yaakov where his sister was a
student. His father would ask the rabbi if there were any suitable young women
for his son who was studying intensively for
Semicha
at an out-of-town
yeshiva. When the director of the school would give him any suggestions, the
father would call Aaron at the yeshiva and tell him about a possible Shidduch.
Aaron didn’t expect to find his mate among the first selections, but sooner or
later, a Shidduch for him would emerge. Other than that, Aaron gave the matter
no thought.

  
As far as biological impulses were concerned, Aaron was in complete control. He
read no newspapers, didn’t watch television, and never even went to the movies.
There were no visions of beautiful women before his eyes. Twice daily he
recited the Torah’s injunction, “Do not stray after the sight of your eyes…”

  
His date with Shulamit caused a complete transformation of his character. He
realized that he should never have agreed to go for a twelve-hour drive alone
with a girl of Shulamit’s status. She may not have won beauty contests, but
anyone could see that she was a very attractive young woman. He recalled a
popular folk teaching that a Talmid Chacham who goes to visit a possible Shidduch
should take along a lay person, because the Talmid Chacham who spent his life
immersed in books, was not capable of judging beauty. To Aaron, Shulamit seemed
perfect. Aside from her looks, she was a brilliant scholar, the daughter of a
multi-millionaire, and very outspoken. Her father had no objections to her
social life, and in fact he was encouraging her to learn from Aaron and pick up
some of his modest behavioral patterns. He was deathly afraid of the type of
radical students that she would meet at college and maybe fall in love with one
of them. As far as Aaron was concerned, Abe was absolutely certain that Aaron
was a person of deep faith who could be trusted with his daughter. He knew that
Aaron would be cautious on the date, and would be very careful not to say
anything inappropriate.

  
Aaron’s guilt stemmed from feeling physical desires that he had never
experienced before. He understood that they came from a process of maturity,
but he had to complete another year of serious Talmudic study before he could
do anything about what he still considered evil inclinations of the
Yetzer
Hara
. What concerned him more than his physical feelings were his emotional
ones. He was drawn to Shulamit by feelings that he could tentatively identify
as love, to the extent that he knew what love was.

  
Quietly, he thought of the biblical patriarchs, and realized that he had
declined from the role model of Isaac to the role model of Jacob. It is written
that Isaac fell in love with Rebecca after he married her and placed her in his
mother Sarah’s tent. After marriage, when Isaac saw the modest and pious
behavior of Rebecca, the Torah tells us that he fell in love with her. Such was
not the case with Jacob. The Torah writes that Jacob loved Rachel for seven
years before he even got to marry her. Furthermore, Isaac had the blessing and
guidance of his father, Abraham, in finding a suitable mate. His bride was
brought to him by his father’s servant Eliezer, and he did not have to seek her
out. For Aaron it was still possible that someone else would find him a
Shidduch. The likelihood of such an event was no longer a reality. He was on
his own, as Jacob was, and no matchmakers were currently at work on his behalf.

  
Aaron was aware of one additional problem. For Jacob, it was certain that his
chosen one shared his feelings and would return his love. At this point, Aaron
could only feel that Shulamit was having fun at his expense and was not in the
least serious about any future relationship. She intended to study at a law
school and didn’t wish to be distracted by romance. The aggravating factor was
the thought that he faced these matters alone and that his strong efforts to
control his impulses were totally in vain. He doubted that Shulamit would ever
agree to marry a man as religious as he was.

       Aaron
was worn out from the driving and the other events of the day. He was too tired
to compose a special prayer to God as he would usually do on stressful
occasions. Instead, he was determined to read the
Krias Shema
prayer
before retiring with special concentration and feeling. He found comfort in the
words of Psalm 91, “For he commands his angels to guard you wherever you go.”
He also addressed words to the angel, “The angel who redeems me from all evil…”
With that, he fell asleep.

Compared
to the stress of the High Holidays, Aaron did not find that conducting the
Succos services was strenuous. Aside from the book of
Kohelet
(Ecclesiastes), there was nothing new in the services that differed from the
regular festivals whose words and melodies were familiar to him. He therefore
had no cause to worry, and was able to schedule a visit to his parents in New
York during the intermediate days of the Succos holiday. The only difference in
this year’s trip was the mode of transportation. In the past he had to travel eight
hours on a bus until he reached the terminal in Manhattan. From there, he took
the subway to his home in Queens. While the difference between plane fare and
bus fare would have been a serious consideration in the past, this time Aaron
had money in his pocket and felt no need to conserve his assets. The money that
he had earned at Beth Israel would cover his personal needs for the remainder
of the year and there was more money expected to come from additional work.

Other
than hearing from Abe Levine that the Succos services had gone well, he had no
reason to confer with the president before his return to Dunberg for the
closing days of the holidays. The Simchas Torah activities were the
responsibility of Mrs. Farber and the sisterhood members. They had years of
experience in such work, and always ran the programs and the congregational
dinner skillfully.

With
the holiday season successfully concluded, Abe Levine felt a vast sense of
relief. The use of a young and inexperienced rabbi had caused him much
trepidation and he could not relax throughout the period. Now that the holidays
were coming to an end, he was in a lighthearted mood when he called Aaron into
the study.

“I
take it, Aaron, that you have met my son, Sammy during the last few weeks. What
is your impression of him?”

Aaron
replied, “He seems to be well-behaved and quite smart. Why are you asking me
about him at this time?”

Abe
explained. “I am not just fishing for compliments about my children. They are very
good and I love them all. It’s just that I have a serious problem with Sammy
that is not his fault. He is not far from his thirteenth birthday and is
approaching bar mitzvah.

 “I
wasn’t worried about his bar mitzvah instruction because I assumed that Ilan Solomon
would be his teacher and would preside at the shul ceremonies. He prepares most
of the day school students for their bar mitzvahs, and is a superb teacher.
Ilan might make it to the bar mitzvah, but he certainly will not be here to
prepare Sammy for it.”

Aaron
sensed what was coming and became anxious. Before dealing with this problem, Aaron
felt it would be wise to get information about the bar mitzvah ritual itself.
This would help him develop a solution to the situation when Levine would seek
to enlist Aaron’s services once again.

“When
does Sammy become thirteen?” Aaron inquired.

Levine
replied, “My father of blessed memory inscribed the Hebrew date of his birth in
a
Chumash
that I keep in the study. As I remember, it was somewhat close
to Tu B’shvat before the Torah portion of
Beshalach
. I can check the
exact Hebrew and English dates in a minute.”

“What
do you expect Sammy to do at his bar mitzvah service?” Aaron persisted.

BOOK: The Rabbi and The Rebbetzin
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