Authors: Ami Urban
From the
Desk of Dr. Lisa James
October 20
The
owner of the house was an older, portly woman in her fifties named Gwen
Huntington. She'd apparently lost her husband years before the outbreak. they'd
had no children, so she devoted her time to filling their house with people.
Anyone who came by was welcome. That was why they'd set up the light.
She was generous. She fed us immediately and made sure Rex was occupied. I
don't know how she did it, but it seemed like she knew my son's mannerisms in
the first few seconds of meeting him. She'd given him chicken tenders and
followed that up with ice cream. Then she'd showed him a thousand piece puzzle
the house guests had been working on. Even when he took it apart, she kept her smile.
When it came time to assign rooms, she gave Jack and me our own with an
adjoining room for the children. It was strange, but after she left and we were
alone, I felt at home — at peace. It was nice.
It was late by the time we'd settled in. Alex had finished Rex's bedtime story
and was drifting off to sleep herself when I shut the door to their room. Jack
was getting ready to sleep and his shirt was off. I felt pure need flood
through each and every one of my veins like the virus that had started the
outbreak.
"Jack."
He turned to face me. "What is it?"
I took a second or two to formulate my words. "Why do you keep saving us?"
He tilted his head to the side and came toward me. "Why wouldn't I?" His arms
slipped around my waist. He was warm and inviting. I felt my blood run hot.
"You've put yourself in mortal danger every time I get stuck. And I've gotten
stuck quite a bit."
His brow furrowed. "Okay"
My gaze dropped to his chest. "I'm the epitome of natural selection. I should
have died a thousand times already."
"Have I rescued you that many times?" He was joking. There was a smile on his
face. "What are you getting at?"
"You should be looking out for yourself."
He scrunched up his face. "What...are you talking about right now?" It was the
same voice he'd used in the car ride to Utah. I found my stomach in knots when
he spoke that way.
Before I could say anything else, he picked me up and set me on the dresser. And
that was when I felt his warm touch under my shirt. He placed a soft kiss on my
forehead.
"Natural Selection has nothing on you." His words were mumbled as he continued
to plant kisses on my mouth, cheeks and neck. "You kick Natural Selection"s ass."
A soft moan escaped me when he pressed his hips into mine. I allowed my hands
to wander down to his waist, barely believing I had that much of a craving for
him.
"You beat a guy to death with a stick because he was threatening to hurt your
son. You underestimate your own worth."
"Let's not talk about that right now."
"Mm-hm. And what should we talk about?"
I undid the button of his jeans. "Let's talk about how much I want you."
He snatched my wrists with one hand then used the other to wiggle an index
finger at me. "Nuh-uh. Remember what we talked about?"
Frustration
burned through my veins. That was odd. I'd never been frustrated that someone
wouldn't allow me to have sex with them. He must have sensed this as his grip
on me eased.
"But..."
He pulled me off the dresser and toward the bed. "There are
other things we
can do
."
That
night, we helped each other ease our sexual tensions. It wasn't what I'd wanted
nor what I'd expected, but in my tired state of mind, I was confident his
teasing wouldn't last. When we'd satiated each other enough, we went to bed
together.
"Where have you been all my life?" My whisper cut through the silent darkness
of the bedroom.
He chuckled. "Apparently across the street from your best friend."
November 10
Days
melted into one another at the Huntington Mansion. People came and went
surprisingly often. Lisa and I met folks from all over the United States. From
them, we'd learned the outbreak had completely devoured our country. There were
no businesses left. No homes. Entire families had been lost. Lisa took these
conversations harder than I imagined she would've. She'd pretend like nothing
was wrong, but I knew her being stuck in that house and not helping people was
wearing her down.
One day about three weeks after we'd arrived, a mob of people came tearing in. A
group of six popped up one day. They all looked tired, dirty and hungry. Ms.
Huntington decided to throw a party in their honor and we were all to dress up
in our best clothes for dinner.
A couple who had come in with the group became quick friends with us. They
travelled all the way from British Columbia in search of a place to stay. Brian
and Cheree. Even their names were cute.
"Almost ready?" I knocked on the door to Rex and Alex's room. From behind the
wood frame, I could hear Rex in a fit. His screams almost drown out my voice.
The door popped open with a very well-dressed Alex behind it. The screaming
intensified.
"Is 'no' a good answer?"
"Bad?" I stepped in to see Lisa struggling to put her son into his dress pants.
In the time since we'd met, I noticed he was getting bigger. With that, came
strength.
"Rex, please. Just let me—"
"No!" He kicked his feet, allowing one leg to escape. He flipped over onto his
stomach, squirming to get away. But Lisa grabbed his shoulders and pulled him
back. Frustration was beginning to show in her face.
"Rex,
please
."
"No!"
His next kick landed square on her jaw. She let go completely and he scrambled
back toward the bed, his face red and pinched.
"Are you all right?" I started to approach her, but she held out her hand.
After clearing her throat, I could see the glisten in her eyes. She was holding
back tears.
"I used to have such a good handle of him." She put her hands to her face and
took a deep breath. Alex and I watched quietly while she composed herself.
After a few moments, she scooted closer to her son. "Rex." Her voice was soft
as she reached out to him.
But he swatted at her hand and screamed. "No!"
Lisa went stiff. I'd never seen her stand so quickly. "Then you won't go!
You'll be alone all night!" With that, she stormed off into the other room and
slammed the door.
"Sheesh. Is that normal?" I asked Alex as she went over to a sniffling Rex.
"Not for Aunt Lisa, no." Alex tried to get Rex's attention, but he was busy
staring at the door his mother had slammed. "I've never even seen her yell."
Alex was about to help Rex to his feet when the boy jumped up and ran toward
the door. With small clenched fists he began pounding on it. But instead of the
screaming I'd expected, he was calling out for Lisa.
Alex and I exchanged glances, wherein she gave a shrug, so I opened the door.
Rex ran to the bed, but she wasn't there. I could see the tears start to gather
in his eyes until the bathroom door opened and Lisa came out. There were stress
lines creased into her face, but I could tell she hand't been crying.
"Momma! Momma!" Rex ran to her with his arms outstretched. She knelt down and
her brow furrowed when he jumped into her arms. "I wear pants, momma."
Lisa pulled back and looked at her son. It seemed as though she wanted to say
something, but only nodded.
"I love you, momma. No mad." Rex gave her one last hug and ran back into the
adjoining room. Lisa just knelt there. Then, she looked up at Alex.
"Did you tell him to do that?"
Alex
shook her head. Lisa looked to me, but I also affirmed a "no." Once again, she
put her face in her hands. Neither Alex nor I were sure what to do, so we just
watched her. And when she looked up again, she was smiling. A genuine smile. It
was beautiful.
"He's never said that before. He's never hugged me like that before." She shook
her head as if she thought she was dreaming. She bounced to her feet and ran to
the door. Touching my shoulder, she said, "I'll meet you downstairs."
***
She was the last one to come down. And she looked off the charts gorgeous.
She'd straightened her normally wavy hair and put on a sparkling white dress
that hugged her frame. But the most beautiful thing she was wearing that night
was her smile. Everyone seemed to notice when she entered the parlor. She
literally brightened the room.
She spoke to Cheree for a brief moment until Rex found me. "Hey, kid. You learn
all of Shakespeare, yet?"
Lisa moved toward me, a smile still on her lips. "I bet he could, because he's
smart. Aren't you?"
"Yes!" Rex bobbed his head and ran off to find Alex.
"Can I speak to you for a moment?"
"Uh oh." I grimaced. "Did I do something wrong?"
She pulled me around a corner to an isolated spot under the staircase next to
the broken restroom no one ever used. And then she kissed me. It was a hungry
kiss; I could feel it. And she tasted like cherries.
"No," she said when she stopped. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"Good." I pulled her close to me. "Because you look so fucking hot right now."
She giggled for once and we continued to fool around like teenagers until she
pulled me into the bathroom and locked the door. Then, she pushed me down onto
the closed toilet seat and straddled me. If I hand't been aroused before, I
sure as hell was then.
"What has gotten into you?" I was barely able to get the sentence out between
her kissing me. "I mean...not that I don't like it... I
really
like it." I
caught her hands before they reached for my zipper. I almost didn't make it.
She was driving me crazy. But I was going to get her to say yes to my proposal.
"I'm excited."
"Yeah...I can tell."
"Rex is starting to notice patterns in social behaviors. That's a huge step."
For some reason, she pushed her chest into my face, then reached for my zipper
again.
"You know the rules."
My statement was meant to be teasing, but it must have come out a bit ruder
than I'd intended, because her smile just melted away.
She stood up after making a frustrated noise. "You're making decisions for me
again, and frankly, I'm quite annoyed by it."
I gave a shrug. "Hey, I stick to my guns." After pausing, I added, "Sometimes
literally."
"Jack, I'm not in the mood for jokes."
I stood up. "Point taken. But rules are rules."
"These are not rules I agreed to."
Another shrug seemed to come automatically. "I know what I want, and I'm pretty
sure I know I can get it."
"By playing games with me." Her voice dropped low.
In defense, I put up my hands. "No games, Foxtrot. I'm serious."
"You can't be."
"I'm dead serious."
She let out a sigh that reminded me of the ones my mother used to give me whenever
I ate a cookie before dinner. "A relationship cannot survive without sexual
intercourse."
"Tell that to high school Jack Reynolds."
"Please stop joking."
"That wasn't a joke."
"Jack." Ugh. She even
said
my name like I'd spoiled my dinner.
"All right, if we're putting all joking aside, can we stop treating me like a
kid, too?"
"I'm treating you exactly how you're treating me."
Jesus Christ, her monotony was driving me up the wall. My muscles were starting
to tense and the blood began rushing in my ears.
"I'm just trying to get you to see my point. that's all."
"You're not doing it like an adult would."
That was it. I had to shut my eyes and bite my tongue to keep the anger in
place. I didn't want to say something I'd regret.
"Look..." I stepped toward her. She didn't move. "I love you, okay? Like...a lot. I
think it's fair to have a discussion about getting married."
"And you believe frustrating me to the point of becoming angry is the way to do
it."
My fists clenched. "You just know everything, don't you?"
"Well, I know quite a lot, yes. That's not a fair statement."
"Fair? Nothing about our relationship is fair."
She crossed her arms. "I see we're on the same page now."
I counted to ten in my head. Some of the numbers were replaced with derogatory
rhyming words, sure, but it helped.
"What...do I have to do to get you to marry me?"
"You can't do anything. I won't do something I don't want to do."
I let her words sink in. "So, you've changed your mind?"
"I'm getting quite close to it, yes."
Raw anger settled into the pit of my stomach. I was tired of being rejected and
unwanted. "So what you're saying is that my feelings don't matter to you?"
"Jack, please."
"I'm never going to be good enough for you to marry, am I?" I could feel my
fists clenching into tighter balls.
Lisa sighed. "Jack."
"I need to know if our relationship is going anywhere."
She tilted her head to the side. "I don't understand why we have to get married
for you to see that."
"Then you don't understand me." It was a harsh statement, and I could see it in
her eyes, but I didn't care. I was tired of taking a backseat. "If this isn't
going anywhere, then it's over."
I didn't even pause to give her time to react. My whole body was heated from
the exchange. She'd humiliated me. Rather than respect me, she chose to break
my heart. I was done. There was nothing more I could do to save our
relationship. And Lisa only had herself to blame.