The Rake Enraptured (25 page)
Read The Rake Enraptured Online
Authors: Amelia Hart
"I don't- That is so wrong," Julia whispered.
"How? Tell me how it is wrong."
"It just is."
"Society tells you how you must be, and then society hides from itself and breaks its own rules behind closed doors, and pulls itself through the mire of self-deception. Self repulsion. Love is not wrong. Hating ourselves for our true natures is wrong. Love is of God. We are of God. Your young man is of God, as are you. What you want together is exactly, perfectly as you were made. If you are ever in doubt, ask 'Where is the love in this?' and if you can see it you know your path is right."
"That cannot be true. If you had only seen-"
"I have seen a thousand, thousand things. But the only wrong things I have seen were about deception and hatred. Love is never wrong."
"Oh Grandmere, that is very simplistic-"
"No, darling. It is very wise. The older I get, the wiser I get, and the simpler it all is to me. It is about love. Nothing more, nothing less. You are married now. That is a sacred thing. Enjoy that blessing. Do not turn from it or poison it with your doubts. Human creativity and our love for variety do not stop at the bedroom door."
"Oh, Grandmere," Julia gave a helpless laugh, longing to believe it was as she said, terr
ified to believe it and be wrong.
"He loves you. That is more powerful than sex. Give that gift back to him. To be known and loved for who he truly is is more precious than any act to be found between the sheets. But why stop with only one thing? Give him
both loving acceptance and sex. Twenty years I was with your grandfather, and he with me. We had no other lovers. Then he was gone, and I was lonely. Take what life gives you, live it fully, moment by moment, and allow yourself to be happy. Your happiness is more beautiful to the man who loves you than any other adornment. Any feature on your face, any jewelry or pretty dress. Find happiness with him and he will never want another."
"It can't be that simple."
"Why not? Why ever not? Don't doubt me. Do as I tell you. There is nothing to be lost."
"Only my immortal soul."
"Oh pish. You French are so dramatic."
"I am not French. I am English. It is you who-"
"Say what you like, but your passionate heart is French, and it loves more fiercely than any pretty little milk-and-cream English Miss can manage."
"I am English."
"Suit yourself. But I know the truth. You with your fierce temper and your scowls and your wild laugh. You will go home to that young man of yours and conquer him for France. Then you can make all the English babies you please and bring them to me to enjoy. I would like some great-grandchildren very much."
"Oh, we have not begun to even think of children yet."
"It is not the thinking that makes children. From what I hear you have been doing quite sufficient of what is required to make children."
"Grandmere!"
"No, do not pretend with me. And don't pretend with him either. Go home and tell him you love him. Go. But come and see me again soon. At my age you can't leave me alone too long."
"No. I know
."
"Be off with you. And tell Mary to bring my porridge at once. What is she thinking?"
"I love you."
"I love you too, my precious. Now hurry. Don't waste another minute."
"No, Grandmere."
"That's my good girl."
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
As she let herself in through the front door, she listened. The large house was humming along quietly, faint sounds of the servants moving about their tasks coming to her ears. She might not know how to direct them all just yet, but she was learning, and as Colin had said, the butler and housekeeper did the lion’s share of the work anyway.
She considered whether Colin would still be in bed, then smiled at the thought of her newly dutiful husband, turned to her left and went to the library door.
When she opened it he looked up from his ledgers and scowled at her. “Please don’t sneak out of the bed first thing in the morning. I can’t abide it.”
“
I’m sorry. I was distracted.”
“
Wake me and tell me where you’re going.”
She went to him and perched on the corner of his desk, very close to him, and looked down at him with a faint smile on her face.
“I thought you would distract me and I would never get away.”
His own face softened.
“Where did you go?”
“
To visit Grandmere. I was confused.”
“
About what?”
“
You.”
“
I?”
“
You are very confusing.” She held out her hand to him. “Also I am confusing.”
“
Well that’s true enough.”
“
Hush. I’m trying to tell you something.”
“
What is that, love?”
“
How do you say that so easily?”
He shrugged, rubbing her fingertips between his fingers and thumb.
“It is true.”
“
But why can’t I say it so easily?”
He went very still, his dark eyes watchful.
“Perhaps when you feel it, you’ll find it just as easy to say,” he said after a moment.
“
Colin, I can’t imagine loving you more than I do. I love you so much it hurts, but oh, it’s so hard to say it.” Tears had started up in her eyes, and she waved a helpless hand at them. “See?”
He leaned forward, a wondering look in his eyes, and took her other hand.
“It’s peculiar what things can be difficult,” he said.
“
It doesn’t make much sense. I’m sorry.”
“
You don’t have to be sensible all the time.”
“
Lately I feel like I’m never sensible. That’s supposed to be who I am. Sensible Julia Preston.”
“
Well of course. That’s what everyone expects a governess to be like. You were a good governess.”
“
I had to be. I had to earn a living. Grandmere could not afford to keep me.”
“
So you did. My clever, sensible girl. You went out and made your living and did what you had to do.”
“
Yes.”
“
And you wore your gray gowns and obeyed people like the Trents and put up with their horrible children-”
“
I
loved
their children,” she protested, half laughing.
“
Only because you’re so soft-hearted.”
“
I’m not soft-hearted. I’m very cold and dispassionate. I don’t think you see me clearly at all.”
“
I think I see you extremely clearly. It is you who have been pretending so long you think that’s who you are. You can let it go now. I’m here.”
“
Like you’re some wonderful hero who has galloped in to rescue me,” she said derisively.
“
Yes,” he said calmly. “Exactly like that.”
“
Well,” she spluttered, “as if you are completely in love with yourself. You think you’re so wonderful-”
“
I must be,” he said, insufferably smug. “Julia Holbrook loves me. She’s a very discerning woman.”
“
You must have her all dazed and confused.”
“
Obviously I am quite the catch.”
“
Oh, very well,” she relented. “You are a catch.” She considered and added in an admiring tone, “And possibly
you
are quite discerning
.”
“
Absolutely.” He beamed at her, stood and took her in his arms, his head coming to rest on hers. “Only the very best sort of wife for me.”
“
Yes. And only the best sort of husband for me.”
“
Perfect.”
“
Absolutely perfect.”
If you enjoyed this boo
k and would like to help others find it, please leave a review at the following link. Your opinion makes a difference. Thank you. -- Amelia Hart
More Historical romance by Amelia Hart:
The Virgin’s Auction
– At an auction for her virgin night, James Carstairs buys Melissa. She enchants him beyond anything he has known, then disappears. Can he find her?
Co
ntemporary romance by Amelia Hart:
The Passion Play –
Luke Barrett never meant to fall for the wife of his boss, but now she’s free he’ll play the game of his life to make her his forever.
The Passionate Mistake –
Kate is undercover in Mike Summers’s company, ready to steal his most valuable data. That is, until she falls for him.
http://bit.ly/passionatemistake
The Seduction of Suzanne
– She has sworn off handsome men and passion. Now a gorgeous drifter seeks to lure her into a headlong rush of pleasure.
About the Author
Amelia Hart writes warm, witty romances, primarily historical and contemporary. She has a degree in psychology, a husband and two children, and a healthy dose of reality to accompany a lifelong love of romance.
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
The Rake Enraptured, Copyright ©2014 by Inspiration Enterprises. All rights reserved under international and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of Kite Publishing.