The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya (20 page)

The five of us were gathered a short distance from the lift station below the beginner’s course.

“Well, whatever.”

Haruhi apparently gave up on thinking about it.

“Yuki, I’ll carry you, so get on my back.”

“I am fine,” said Nagato.

“You’re not,” Haruhi objected. “I don’t really know what happened or why I’m so confused, but I’m not going to let you overexert yourself. You don’t have a fever, but I just have a feeling that you’re unwell. You need rest!”

Haruhi didn’t wait for an answer before hoisting Nagato on her back and running off toward Tsuruya and my sister, who were still waving at us. She was probably going faster than a brand-new snowplow. Haruhi was going so fast that if there were a piggyback 100-meter dash event in the Winter Olympics, she’d be guaranteed gold.

Afterward.

Tsuruya contacted Arakawa, who picked us up in his car.

Nagato, in protest against Haruhi’s treating her like a sick person, attempted to convince us that she was in good health, but the looks I gave her must have had some effect, as she eventually shut up and did as Haruhi said.

Nagato, Haruhi, Asahina, and my sister got in the car to return to the vacation home first, which left Koizumi, Tsuruya, and me to walk back on foot.

During that time, I engaged in conversation with Tsuruya.

“Say, I saw you guys walking down the slope and carrying your skis. What was up with that?”

Uh, there was a blizzard?

“Hmm? Oh, there were, like, ten minutes of heavy snowfall, I guess? But it wasn’t that bad. Just a quick flurry out of nowhere, yeah?”

It appeared that we had spent hours walking around in the snow and relaxing in the mansion while only a few minutes had passed for Tsuruya.

Tsuruya continued with a brisk pace and tone.

“When I saw the five of you just scooting your way down, I was like, why? And then Nagato, leading the way, took a tumble. She got right back up, though.”

Koizumi could only smile weakly as he kept his mouth shut. I did the same. So that was how we had appeared to an outside observer, in this case Tsuruya. And that was probably correct. We had been in some kind of dream or illusory world. This was reality, the original world.

After walking along in silence for a while, Tsuruya chuckled and moved her mouth next to my ear.

“Hey, Kyon. On a different note.”

What’s up, ma’am?

“I can tell from looking that Mikuru and Nagato aren’t exactly normal. And Harls wouldn’t be considered normal either!”

I stared at Tsuruya and discovered that the cheerful look on her face was genuine.

“You noticed?”

“Long, long time ago. But I don’t know what they actually do! But they’re doing some funny stuff behind the scenes, right? Ah, keep this a secret from Mikuru. She thinks that she’s acting like an ordinary person!”

She must have found the look on my face amusing, as she doubled over and laughed heartily.

“Yep! But you’re normal, Kyon. You and I are the same in that sense.”

And then she peered at my face.

“Welp! I’m not going to ask about Mikuru’s identity! Probably hard to answer! Doesn’t really matter. We’re still friends!”

… Haruhi, forget about the junior brigade member or honorary advisor stuff. Recruit Tsuruya as an official member. She’s probably more perceptive than I am and better at playing the role of an ordinary person.

Tsuruya whacked me on the shoulder repeatedly.

“Take care of Mikuru. If she’s ever troubled by something that she can’t talk to me about, help her out!”

Well…but of course.

“Still.”

Tsuruya’s eyes were shining.

“That movie you made for the cultural festival. Was that actually based on a true story?”

I wasn’t sure if Koizumi heard her, but I could see him shrugging off to the side.

When we arrived back at the vacation home, Haruhi had already forced Nagato into bed.

Her pale complexion was no longer dazed like it’d been in the mansion. She now had the same cool demeanor as when she was reading in the clubroom. I could even sense microscopic shifts in emotion. The Nagato we know and love.

Asahina and Haruhi were standing next to Nagato’s bed like enchanting nurses while my sister and Shamisen were also standing by. I guess that they were waiting for us to arrive, because Haruhi began to talk once we were all assembled.

“Say, Kyon. I have a feeling that I had this strangely realistic dream. We went to a mansion, took a bath, and made some hot sandwiches to eat.”

I was about to say that she’d been hallucinating, but Haruhi continued.

“Yuki said that she didn’t know anything, but Mikuru remembered the same things I did.”

I glanced over at Asahina. The lovely tea-serving maid looked down apologetically.

This is a problem. I was hoping to convince her that she’d been hallucinating or daydreaming, but I wasn’t going to come up with a reasonable explanation for why two people had the same daydream anytime soon.

I was trying to figure out how I might trick her when I was interrupted.

“Group hypnosis.”

Koizumi gave me an exaggerated look of exasperation as he cut in.

“In fact, I also vaguely remember something similar.”

“You’re saying that you were hypnotized? And I was too?” Haruhi asked.

“This was slightly different from artificial hypnotism, but yes. Knowing you, if a person were to announce that they were going to hypnotize you, you would become skeptical and the hypnosis would most likely fail.”

“You’re probably right.”

Haruhi appeared to be lost in thought for a moment.

“However, we spent a considerable amount of time walking through the blizzard at a fixed rhythm where we could only see white snow. Are you aware of a phenomenon known as highway hypnosis? If you drive along a straight highway for an extended period of time, the evenly spaced lights can place the driver in a state of hypnosis and lull him to sleep. People often fall asleep while riding the train, and that’s attributed to the rhythmic shaking of the cars. It’s the same reasoning as when you pat a baby on its back to induce sleep.”

“Really?”

The look on Haruhi’s face suggested that she’d never heard of that before, while Koizumi nodded solemnly.

“Really.”

His voice took on a persuasive tone.

“As we made our way through the blizzard, someone must have grumbled about wishing there was a mansion we could hide out in that provided all sorts of comforts…something along those lines. After all, we were enduring extreme conditions at the time that left us in a mental state that would be susceptible to such hallucinations. You’ve heard about people wandering through the desert and seeing mirages of oases, yes?”

Damn Koizumi. He’s laying it on real thick.

“Uh-huh…I guess. So you’re saying that we experienced something similar?”

Haruhi tilted her head and looked at me.

Apparently so. I nodded in an attempt to look convinced. Koizumi saw this as the perfect time to add the finishing touches.

“The sound of Nagato falling brought us back to our senses. I’m sure of it.”

“Now that you mention it…”

Haruhi tilted her head even farther before swinging it back.

“Well, you’re probably right. It wouldn’t make sense for them to build a weird mansion out there, and my memory’s becoming hazy. Like I was dreaming within a dream.”

Yes, it was a dream. A mansion that didn’t exist in reality. An unnecessary hallucination born of fatigue.

I was more worried about the other two members. The outsiders who weren’t members of the SOS Brigade. I looked at Tsuruya.

“Heh!”

Tsuruya winked at me and smiled. I interpreted the look on her face as meaning, “Well, we’ll just leave it at that.” Though I may have been reading too much into it. Tsuruya didn’t say another word as she flashed her trademark smile and refrained from any superfluous comments.

As for the other one, my sister, she was having sweet dreams from her position leaning into Asahina’s lap. Like a cat, she was obnoxious when awake, but rather adorable when asleep. Asahina didn’t seem to mind as she watched my sister’s face. From the looks of things, I would guess that Asahina and my sister didn’t hear the latter half of Koizumi’s explanation.

Shamisen was grooming himself on the floor as he looked up at me and meowed. It was almost like he was trying to comfort me.

And when all was said and done, we finally reached the first night of our winter trip.

Nagato was apparently dying to get out of bed, but Haruhi would make a fuss every time by pushing her back down and throwing the covers over her.

I had a thought. There wasn’t any need to force her to sleep. Even if she were to have fun dreams, they would still only be dreams. What mattered was that we were all here together right now. It didn’t matter how wonderful a dream was if it ended the moment you woke up. I had no interest in transient illusions. This I understood—

A number of issues had been set aside. Like the identity of that mansion or whether Haruhi truly believed Koizumi’s fib. Right now she was busy playing with Nagato so she didn’t really care, it seemed.

I headed outside for no real reason, maybe to escape Haruhi’s piercing voice. The night sky was filled with more stars than you’d ever see in the city and the reflected light made for a brilliant expanse of silver. Yet for some reason, I didn’t feel cold at all.

“But.”

Tomorrow would be the last day of the year. Koizumi’s detective show would unfold on New Year’s Eve, and Haruhi was planning on partying like crazy.

In that case, we might as well relax. I doubt that Nagato had been given many opportunities to kick back. I wasn’t sure how much sleep she usually got or if she even needed to sleep, but she might as well use this chance to get her fill. Throwing Shamisen onto her bed was also a brilliant idea. He could serve as a source of heat.

I looked across the endless field of snow as I talked to myself.

“Doesn’t look like we’ll have a blizzard tonight.”

I could only hope that if Nagato was capable of dreaming, she would be granted sweet dreams on this one night.

After all, I had absolutely no reason to wish otherwise.

I also took this opportunity to pray to the stars. It wasn’t Tanabata, and it wasn’t even New Year’s Eve for that matter, but I wasn’t specifically directing this prayer to Vega or Altair. Look at all the stars out there. I’m sure that my words will reach one of them.

“Make the new year a good one.”

I’m counting on you, whoever’s out there.

When I first wrote this story, it came out to exactly one hundred pages of draft paper. Twenty or so pages were trimmed for the version that was published in
The Sneaker
. I’ve taken this opportunity to revert to the original version. There weren’t any major differences to speak of, but I must admit that it just felt better this way.

On a tangent, I should mention that I have done very little gaming, and even less naming of games. I would consider beating one game a year an accomplishment. Incidentally, the most recent game that I managed to finish was Linda
^³
Again. It was fun.

I’m thinking about getting a Dreamcast at some point.

This novella was completed recently. It’s the longest short story I’ve done. I’ve found myself doing some serious research on where I might find an editing tool that automatically shortens your work.

I used the following books as references when writing this story. Many thanks.

• Fermat’s Enigma: The Epic Quest to Solve the World’s Greatest Mathematical Problem
  by Simon Singh, translated by Kaoru Aoki, published by Shinchosha
   
  
• Fun with Shapes
  by Eichi Ono, published by Iwanami Junior
  

Furthermore, I should add that any issues with the formulas and explanations used in the story can be blamed on an intellectual deficiency on my part.

Lastly, I would like to offer my condolences.

On July 15, 2004, Mr. Sunao Yoshida passed away.

Looking back, the first meeting with my esteemed colleague came during Kadokawa Shoten’s spring event, right after the ceremony where I was awarded the grand prize at the Sneaker Awards. It had only been ten days since I had received a phone call about the award and quite frankly, I was just an amateur at the time. As an amateur, I could only follow my editor around and respectfully greet the renowned authors.

And as my nerves were reaching their limit, a cheerful man walked over slowly. He had a lively smile on his face as he slapped me on the shoulder.

“Hey, new kid!”

That man was Mr. Sunao Yoshida.

Hey, new kid.
His words were as precise and clear as one could ever expect.

Afterward we exchanged a few snippets of conversation, during which I could only offer stiff, single-syllable responses. Despite that, he was still smiling at the end.

“Then I’ll see you around.”

And with that, he left. That would be the first and last time I ever met him.

I spent the next three days in bed with the flu, and once I recovered I decided that I should have provided better responses during our conversation. With that in mind, I prepared a few words to say if I ever had the chance to meet him again.

In the end, I forever lost my chance to tell him those words. However, I believe that they will not be wasted if I use this opportunity to say them.

I have long waited for the day when I could call out to him so.

“Hey, old-timer!”

Right now, I can only pray for his soul.