The Rancher's Prospect (20 page)

“But you kissed me in the office once, remember?”

He definitely remembered.

“True,” he agreed. “But that was different.”

“I don't see how.”

Josh smiled. “I could show you, but Grandpa might come back early, and I'm not an exhibitionist.”

The blue in Tara's eyes darkened. “I suppose we could meet at the pool tonight, after he's asleep. Not to go in the water, since you want to satisfy your curiosity about...dry skin.”

“We could always swim afterward.”

“True.”

Determinedly she pulled away and marched toward the shovel.

Josh watched, torn. Sharing his life with Tara might mean more than all the other goals he'd worked toward and he couldn't escape the fact that he'd fallen in love and wanted a lifetime together. The revolution in his ideas about his life stunned him. But Tara didn't
want
to live in Schuyler. Just the day before, she'd talked about which country she might pick next, and whether she ought to take a one-year contract over the usual two—because that way she could see more of the world.

And what if he
did
convince her to marry him? One day she might get tired of ranch life and wasting her abilities. There weren't any businesses around Schuyler that truly needed someone with her qualifications. How would he feel once she took off for London or Tokyo or one of the other places she loved?

Perhaps it would be even worse if she
didn't
leave. She was loyal and gritty and might stay to make the best of things. Josh's stomach rolled at the thought, because it meant he'd be doing the same thing to her that he'd always assumed his grandfather had done to Evelyn.

* * *

S
TUNNED
, T
ARA
STARED
down at the translucent green lump in her fingers. She'd glanced down as she was digging and the sun had caught it just right in the pile of dusty rocks.

Dirty, rough and irregular, it looked exactly like the photos of raw green sapphires she'd seen while researching Montana gemstones.

Dropping the shovel, she hurried to where Josh was sorting rocks.

“I found one,” she practically shouted.

He straightened and looked carefully at the stone, a cautious expression on his face. “Interesting. What makes you think it's a sapphire?”

“I know it isn't blue, but they come in all sorts of colors. This is exactly like one of the green sapphires I saw on the internet.”

“They aren't just blue?” All of a sudden Josh groaned. “I'm sure I haven't seen any stones like this up here, but they've been right in front of me my entire life and I never recognized them. None of us did.”

“What do you mean?”

“Have you ever seen one of those old canning jars—the ones that used to have zinc lids and eventually turn lavender?”

Tara wasn't familiar with them, but she nodded anyway and waited.

“There's one in the kitchen,” he continued. “Grandma kept it in the window because it was full of marbles and rocks and she liked the sun shining through them.” Josh held the sapphire up and shook it. “There are several in there that look quite a bit like this one.”

Tara tried to choke down a laugh.

“Go ahead,” he said. “Laugh your head off. It's the best and worst joke that's ever been played on the Nelson family.”

It bubbled out of her, and he reluctantly joined her.

“Sapphires,” he said at length, pulling her close.
“Sapphires.”

His kiss was full and deep, and Tara returned it with all her strength, but when his hands slid under her T-shirt, she stepped backward.

“Whoa, we need to go tell Walt.”

Josh grinned. “Yeah.”

Back at the campsite, Walt was seated in his chair and looked up eagerly when they catapulted into the clearing.

“Look what Tara just found,” Josh exclaimed, handing the raw gem to him. “It's a green sapphire.”

Walt's eyes gleamed. “Do you know what this means?”

“Sure. It means my great-great-grandfather found sapphires a century ago and the proof has been staring us in the face every time we wash our hands.”

“What?” Walt demanded.

“The jar that Grandma kept over the kitchen sink...remember what's in there?”

Comprehension dawned on Walt's face, and he groaned exactly the way Josh had groaned. Then he chuckled. “Ah, well, water under the bridge.” He held the gem in the air and admired it. “Let's get to work. Where there's one, there could be more.”

“Absolutely,” Josh agreed enthusiastically. “We may have finally hit the right layer.”

Tara was amazed by his zeal.

“We might not find any of gem quality,” she cautioned them both.

“Who gives a rat's ass?” Walt asked.

“That's right. You just found a sapphire, and no one can take the fun of it away from us,” Josh declared.

Relaxing, Tara nodded. “Then let's go.”

Walt walked with a new bounce in his step as they returned to the dig site.

They carefully pulled out more piles of dirt and stones. Tara discovered a tiny blue sapphire in her sieve an hour later, and Walt got one soon after. It wasn't until nearly dinnertime that Josh exclaimed and held out a translucent brilliant blue stone in his fingers.

They forgot about food and everything else as they worked. It was dusk when they reluctantly returned to the campsite to eat trail mix and crawl into their sleeping bags.

But Tara hadn't forgotten her suggestion to Josh about meeting at the hot spring pool. When she saw him quietly slip away, she sat up and checked to be sure Walt was asleep.

Why not enjoy it while she could? She would never be in these circumstances again, and she wanted Josh with every cell in her body.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

J
OSH
WOKE
THE
next morning, knowing that if he were a rooster, he'd be crowing at the top of lungs, hardly the attitude of a twenty-first-century man. Tara had joined him at the hot spring pool, turning into a temptress, bewitching him as she pulled off her clothes and lay on the tarp he'd spread in hopes she would come.

They'd made love not once but twice in the brilliant moonlight. Afterward, they'd gone into the warm water, swimming and playing as if they were children instead of adults who'd enjoyed all the pleasures of their sexuality.

Later, Tara had dressed and returned to bed, barely acknowledging him as she departed.

Why did she act that way? He was certain she didn't take sex casually, but he was equally certain he didn't know what was going on in her head.

He kept returning to the thought of what it would be like to share a life with her. But if he couldn't figure out why she was so remote after making love, he certainly couldn't fathom how she'd feel about marriage.

Except he
did
know. She'd made her feelings perfectly clear when he'd stupidly declared he wasn't interested in a long-term relationship. Who would have guessed he'd come to regret his adamant declaration?

He was finally getting a clue. Love and home and family were important, and it had taken a woman who'd grown up without any of those things to remind him of that.

* * *

C
ARL
ABSENTLY
SCRATCHED
his ribs. The cut was starting to itch like crazy. It was a normal part of healing, and he could try getting something at the drugstore to help. Stopping by the clinic was also a possibility, but he didn't want to risk running into Lauren.

Eileen, the day manager and emergency dispatcher, grinned when she saw him come through the door.

“Welcome back, boss,” she said. “Got a release from the doc?”

“None of your business. I'm just here to visit and see if the station is still in one piece.”

“We considered moving to Vegas so we could play the slot machines when things got slow, but decided it would lengthen response time too much.”

Chuckling, Carl grabbed the mail from his inbox and went through it. There were more get-well cards, dozens of which had already been delivered to his apartment by Noah Mercer.

Noah had been coming by each day, and Carl shook his head as he thought about the deputy's worried face. Finally Noah had confessed that he felt responsible for the way things had gone down out at the Roadhouse.

“I should have been faster dealing with that guy,” he'd said. “Then you wouldn't have been fighting two of them.”

“Don't be ridiculous,” Carl had assured him. “We had three guys to handle, and you took down the biggest one. You're a great deputy, and I'm glad to have you on the force.”

It appeared to be the right thing to say; Noah had calmed down and been less stressed on his next visit.

Over the next few hours, Carl dealt with his mail and talked with his deputies.

At noon he sat back and considered whether to go down to the café for lunch. Before being injured, he'd gone regularly on the days he knew that Lauren was working, in the hopes of running into her. Now he'd lost track of her schedule.

Lauren's revelations troubled him.

Conflict sometimes
did
end relationships. He'd known that since he was a kid. His mother had been anguished by the danger his father faced as a cop and it had finally torn them apart.

But from what Lauren had said, her parents had fought over everything, and sometimes over nothing. As a child who'd finally gotten what any foster kid would want—a family—it must have been terrifying to feel it could all be snatched away again. It sounded as if her new parents hadn't trusted each other enough to argue and still know that they'd both be there when it was done.

Conflict was inevitable in any relationship. But he didn't believe Lauren lacked courage; she just needed to trust him enough to know that he wasn't going anywhere. Ironically, she'd also done the very thing she'd warned him against...deciding for
him
that he wouldn't be able to deal with her issues.

Everything was in a damned tangle. Lauren obviously didn't realize his feelings were serious, but she was right that he'd always pulled back whenever a woman expressed concern about his career. It was a pattern set well before they'd ever met. He'd tried to protect people instead of giving them the right to choose for themselves.

Maybe it was time to try a different approach.

* * *

T
HERE
IN
THE
DARK
, it was so quiet that Tara could hear Josh's breathing a few feet away.

For the past week he had been slowly edging his sleeping bag closer to hers, though she wasn't sure what to do about it.

A slash of light shot across the gap between the trees, and she sighed. The wonder of shooting stars never seemed to go away. Despite knowing they were simply little bits of rock burning up in Earth's atmosphere, she still wanted to make a wish and see if it came true.

“Beautiful, isn't it?” Josh whispered.

“Incredible.”

“Right now it seems as if the mountain is singing.”

Tara knew what he meant but didn't want to say so.

“That sounds fanciful,” she said instead.

“I find myself getting more and more imaginative up here, as if anything is possible.”

“It's a nice way to think.”

“But you don't agree.”

Tara turned on her side toward him. “People say anything is possible, but that means that bad things are possible, too.”

“Don't tell me you're a pessimist.”

“I think I'm more of a realist.”

“But some things have gone right for you, haven't they?” he asked.

“I'm not complaining. I've found my sister, traveled and done okay in my career.”

“We've also found sapphires. The potential for good things is endless.”

“Perhaps.”

He shifted to face her, as well. “Is it just your childhood that makes you skeptical, or something else?”

Tara pressed her lips together; there was no reason not to reveal more about her life, except she wasn't used to sharing.

“Obviously it's up to me to break the revelations logjam,” Josh murmured, “so I'll admit to sneaking off to Spain and running with the bulls one year. My girlfriend thought it was the perfect way to prove how much I loved her.”

“Yikes.”

“Afterward I told my folks I busted my shoulder playing football with my friends. I also realized that if Celine had really loved me, she would never have demanded something so reckless.”

“Too bad you didn't figure it out before busting your shoulder.”

“How about you?” he asked. “What's one of the skeletons in your closet?”

“Pierre Montrose,” she said reluctantly.

“Tell me more about him.”

She wasn't obligated to say anything, but the night felt surreal, as if it really
was
confession time. “What would you like to hear?” she asked lightly. “He thought he was a great lover who deserved a girlfriend who was both a nun and a call girl.”

“He sounds about as mature as Celine.”

“I wasn't in love, any more than you were,” she acknowledged.

“Have you ever been in love?”

“I went last. It isn't my turn for another confession.”

“Yeah, but I went first. Isn't it fair for you to fess up before I go again?”

Part of her wanted to know what Josh might confess next, but it also seemed dangerous. The more she understood him, the more her heart got involved.

“Who said life is fair?” she countered.

“Come on, truth or dare,” he urged.

“That's a fool's game.”

“Not the way I play. We could have fun.”

Tara could imagine the dare he'd use, and it
would
be fun, but she wasn't prepared to answer any more questions.

“What do you say?” he whispered.

“Go soak your head.”

“Soaking
something
sounds like a fine idea.”

“Do you ever quit?” she asked in exasperation.

He chuckled. “Rarely.”

Suddenly, Walt's voice intruded. “If you kids are going to keep talking, then stop being rude and speak up so I can understand you.”

A sputter of laughter burst from Tara's throat.

“Sorry, Grandpa,” Josh called. “We thought you were asleep.”

“I would be if you let me have some peace and quiet.”

Tara snuggled down into her sleeping bag, unable to turn her gaze away from Josh. Firelight gleamed in his blue eyes, still fixed on her. Slowly she grew sleepier, and everything circled into a blur.

When she woke up, dawn was unfolding in glorious colors and she tried to convince herself that everything was as it should be.

* * *

L
AUREN
WAS
FIXING
DINNER
when she heard a knock on her door. She peeked through the curtain and saw Carl, dressed in full uniform.

Her stomach flip-flopped—one of the doctors at the clinic must have given him a medical release.

She didn't want to talk to him, but he didn't look like a man who intended to go away easily.

Blast.
She might as well face whatever was necessary rather than wait. Anticipation was usually worse than reality.

She opened the door and fixed a casual smile on her face.

“Hi, Carl. I see you're back at work. How is it going?”

“Everything is fine and I feel great. May I come in?”

“Uh, sure.”

He walked into the apartment and pulled off his shoulder holster. Her eyes widened when he removed his service revolver and checked the safety before placing it on the coffee table.

“I want to know if you think you could get used to seeing me come home armed this way every night,” he announced calmly. “Because I'll always come home to you, no matter what arguments we might have. And if a bullet ever stops my heart, my spirit will still come home to you, because I love you more than anything else in this world.”

He stopped and gazed at her. Trembling, she opened her mouth but couldn't get any words out. A declaration of undying devotion was the last thing she'd expected.

Drawing her close, Carl dropped a gentle kiss on her lips. “I just need you to trust me,” he whispered, “because I have faith that you'll stick with me through everything, as well. Besides, turnabout is fair play. You said I shouldn't make decisions for someone else, so you shouldn't make them for me. Can we discuss this?”

Carl was staring down at her with a burning hope that she couldn't disappoint.

She nodded, but still pulled away and dropped onto the couch. He sat nearby in an easy chair.

“Darling, everyone is affected by what they learn in childhood,” he said urgently. “Some of it is good, some isn't. Sometimes we let go of the bad things, while others keep coming back. You learned conflict can sometimes end love. I learned that a dangerous job can tear people apart, so maybe I've been too quick to assume a woman can't deal with it.”

“Well...that's what it sounded like, but it wasn't any of my business to say something.”

“I invited you to make it your business.”

With a smile, he lifted her hand from where it rested on the arm of the couch and kissed her fingers.

“My folks got divorced when I was a kid,” he continued. “They eventually got back together, but only after Dad retired. They got married right out of high school and thought they knew what they wanted, but then my father decided to become a cop. He didn't talk to Mom about it, just announced that he was going to the police academy. It terrified her.”

Lauren knew it must have been awful for his mother to suddenly have her husband change the direction of their lives. Obviously she'd stayed in the marriage for a while, but it must have seemed unfair that he'd made the choice for them both.

“For years Mom would go to the library and read criminology books or find articles about police officers hurt or killed in the line of duty,” Carl murmured. “Then she'd warn Dad to be careful about one situation or another. It was ghoulish.”

“It sounds like a coping mechanism.”

“I suppose.” A puzzled expression filled Carl's face. “Strangely, it was my father who left. He insisted that Mom didn't ask him to go, but I never believed him.”

“Are you sure?” Lauren asked. “Maybe he couldn't deal with the pain he was putting her through. It's hard doing that to someone you love.”

Carl stared at her, and Lauren wondered if this was a possibility he'd never considered.

It had certainly made
her
think. Bitter, stupid, petty arguments were hurtful. Would her adoptive parents have argued that way if they'd loved each other the way she loved Carl? Would they have said such horrid, hateful things?

“I never thought of it that way,” he admitted. But you may be right. Dad
could
have been the one who decided he couldn't take it any longer.”

“Did they ever seriously discuss the danger or get counseling?” Lauren asked.

Carl frowned. “Not that I know of, but that might have been part of the problem. I talked to Dad this week. He told me he'd chosen a different life for them as a couple and always felt guilty because he didn't even ask how she felt about it. He didn't want to hear how hard it was for her, so when she tried to warn him about something, he just felt worse.”

Lauren nodded, trying to decide whether
she
could face the dangers of Carl's work. Being a sheriff in Schuyler wasn't nearly as dangerous as being a big-city police officer, but obviously there were hazards. A knife wound, a gunshot, an accident from a high-speed chase... Any number of possibilities could become realities. She could lose her husband without warning, and her children could lose their father.