The Rancher's Second Chance (21 page)

…

Low chatter and laughter followed Cole out onto the porch. He didn’t know what to make of anything. He hadn’t counted on Phillip Anderson being the monster in Melanie’s childhood. He knew, the moment he’d seen that bastard’s hands on her, that there was no going back for him. Oh, he had come to terms with the fact that he loved Melanie. He knew that. But when he saw Phillip touching her, he knew the depth of it, because at that moment he knew he’d be capable of anything to keep her safe. And he had no doubt that the dissolution of their business deal was the right thing to do.

He’d wanted to die, or to kill, when he witnessed Phillip’s hand strike Melanie. A rage he’d never known before engulfed him, challenging all his beliefs, and for the briefest of seconds had justified how he wanted to hurt her father. To make him pay. Every god-awful word, story that Melanie had confided, and all the ones he knew she had kept to herself, throbbed in his ears as he stared at her tormentor. Her father. The man that should have been her protector. And he knew he wanted to make him pay. He wanted him to feel as small and insignificant as he’d made his daughter feel. He wanted to hurt him.

With every aching part of his body, he wanted to hurt him until he couldn’t stand. And yet he knew he wouldn’t, not with Melanie there. Phillip Anderson wasn’t a man. He was merely the image of a man with an empty soul.

He frowned, wondering where the hell Melanie was. He couldn’t seem to get her alone all day. He took a deep breath of the cold night air and looked out into the darkened landscape beyond him. Night had set in and the lanterns were already twinkling up the drive. Melanie had coordinated a stunning event. He glanced over at the trail leading to the stable. It was a long shot, but worth a try. The cold night air beat against the thin fabric of his suit jacket, and he hoped to hell his hunch was right. He let out a long sigh as he rounded the corner, the light from the barn on and the door slightly ajar. It had to be her.

He stopped at the entry. Melanie’s silhouette was outlined by the dim light in the stable corridor. His heart swelled; it occurred to him she was standing in front of Rusty’s stall. He walked forward, her soft voice becoming clearer as he approached. A raw, gnawing ache pulsed through him.

She shot him a sidelong smile when he stopped a few feet away, which only intensified the ache.

“I, um, thought I’d come out and say hello to Rusty. I wondered if he was insulted he wasn’t asked to pull any of the sleighs today. I didn’t want him to feel like he wasn’t good enough.”

Just when he thought he couldn’t hurt more for her, he did. He took a few steps forward, tensing when she still didn’t turn to face him fully. He wanted to talk about today. She’d been on her own, taking charge of the wedding, mingling with guests, and offering her gorgeous brave smile to everyone. And it killed him knowing she’d had to keep her wounds hidden. It killed him that they couldn’t have spent the day together, hiding from the world.

It had killed him not to tell her he loved her.

“I’ve figured out that Rusty and I are actually quite alike.”

She stood there, in her pink silk dress, the graceful curve of her bare shoulders highlighted as moonlight seemed to hug her body. She was poised, elegant, and lovely. All of Melanie was out of place in the earthy, rustic stable, yet at the same time was completely perfect. He had never seen anyone more perfect. And nothing like this damn horse she was insisting she had so much in common with.

“You must be freezing out here.”

She shrugged. “It’s not too bad.”

“Mel?”

She stilled her hand on Rusty’s mane. “Yes.”

“Mel, are you all right?” He enveloped her into his arms and kissed her silky hair. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner.”

“Don’t. Don’t apologize. I’m fine. Really.”

He closed his eyes, forcing himself to calm down. He had come out here to tell her how he really felt about her. “We need to talk.” His eyes went from her red, swollen eyes to her full lips.

She nodded. “I need to tell you everything. I’ve been standing out here thinking how unfair it was for me to demand you not go through with that deal without knowing why. It wasn’t a family quarrel. I grew up in a dysfunctional family with an abusive father and I refuse to hide from it anymore. Or you. I refuse to be ashamed because of something I had no control over.”

Cole held his breath and waited. He thought when she moved that she was going to step closer to him, but instead she rested her hand on the bar of Rusty’s stall. She tilted her head forward, and Rusty nuzzled her face. And then the goddamn horse had the nerve to look him in the eye and he could swear those lazy eyes of his were filled with smug satisfaction.

“You remember when I started to tell you about that weekend that my family had to attend that getaway?”

“Yes.”

“We all had hair appointments made. New wardrobes purchased for the weekend. The night before we were to leave, he ran down this long checklist of things to remember and he mentioned horseback riding. Since he really didn’t pay attention to anything about Meredith and me, he had no idea that since I was little I’d had some irrational horse phobia. He just assumed Meredith and I were both competent riders since the school’s program offered riding lessons. He didn’t know I had refused all riding lessons after trying it a few times. So I told him. I told him I didn’t know how to ride a horse and he went ballistic on me. I looked over at my mother, hoping for something, but she just sat in silence not making eye contact with me.”

He swore under his breath. The damn horse. Jeezus he was an ass.

Melanie shook her head and held up her finger. “Don’t. Don’t say it. Let me finish. It was late at night and he drove me out to the stables where Meredith had her horse boarded. I was shaking the entire ride. I remember sitting there, counting on my hand how many more years I needed to live with them until I was an adult. With each curse he threw at me, I shut down, word by word. I swore I’d find a way out. He hauled me out of the car and all but dragged me to the stable. He barked out an order to one of the stable boys to saddle up a horse for a beginner. Luckily, there weren’t too many people there at that time of night.”

Cole clenched his fists tightly. He wanted to interject. He wanted to apologize for her father. He wanted to comfort her and a part of him was afraid to hear the rest of her story.

She cleared her throat and looked up at him. “He stood there, so angry. He said in this slow voice, ‘Get on the damn horse or you will regret it.’ So I slowly shook my head. I don’t know if I was stupid or courageous, but I stared at him in the eyes and shook my head. I remember feeling like my voice was trapped inside, because usually our voices were trapped inside, our opinions silenced.”

He tried to swallow against the painful lump in his throat. “What did you do?”

She shook her head, a small smile curling the corner of her mouth. “I told him to go to hell.”

“You didn’t.”

She nodded. “I did. I found my voice, and I used it,” she whispered.

“Man, you have guts.”

She shook her head. “No, I was silly. Shortsighted. I thought I had guts. I thought I had courage. I thought I was strong. But no, I just had a mouth on me and that crazy invincibility that teenagers are blessed with.”

“What did he do?”

Melanie took a deep breath. “He practically threw me on the saddle, slapped the horse, and sure enough, that horse took off and I held on for dear life. I remember thinking I was going to die. I was already shaking so badly just sitting before we even moved. But when he moved…” She shook her head and stared down at the ground. He wanted to speak, but knew he had to let her finish.

“I remember thinking I must have been such a shitty daughter, that I must be so insignificant to him that he would do that to me. I held on for another moment, but the horse was as terrified as I was, and minutes later I was on the ground. One of the stable boys reached me before my own father. I spent the next week in the hospital. Broken arm. Lucky, I guess,” she said, shrugging. “But at least the weekend wasn’t ruined. They sent me off to the hospital with one of the staff, while Meredith and my parents made a great impression.”

She crossed her arms in front of her and took a deep breath. “He tolerated Meredith more. She was able to keep her mouth shut. And as you know, I have problems with that,” she said shooting him a sidelong smile. And she was so beautiful, her smile so heartbreakingly tragic that he didn’t know how he was going to reign in his own feelings while she told him the rest.

“He told me I talked too much, that the sound of my incessant rambling made him sick.”

Cole bit back every angry thought he had in order to let her finish speaking. He wondered what kind of ass wouldn’t be proud to have such a smart, accomplished daughter. He stared at her perfect profile, the fullness of her lips and the high cheekbones. She tucked her hair behind her ear and he waited. He wanted her to speak forever. He wanted to hear the sound of her voice, the wisdom of her thoughts, and the animated laughter that made him feel human again.

And then he regretted letting Phillip Anderson walk off his property without bashing his face into a wall.

As though she sensed where his thoughts were going, she shot him a half smile. “I know this sounds dramatic.”

“Don’t do that; don’t filter your memories for me,” he said, forcing his words over the lump of emotion in his throat.

She took a wobbly breath and gave him a little nod. “So now you know everything. You know why I couldn’t get on that horse. It’s silly, so stupid. I don’t know why I was ever scared of horses. I have no idea why I was so afraid. Something about their size or their speed. I know it must sound so dumb to you.”

He didn’t move as he watched the emotions flicker through her wide, tear-filled eyes. But he wanted her to know there was no shame in being afraid, and he didn’t want her to hide anything from him.

“Nothing you say is dumb. I’m sorry you were raised by such a bastard. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. And I’m sorry as hell for making you feel like less of a person for not getting on a horse that day. You can talk my ear off any day, baby.” He pulled her into his arms, and she came willingly.

She nodded and drew a ragged breath. “I know. I’m guessing you heard about my sister from Gage?”

He shook his head, holding his breath. “Uh, no. What happened to your sister?”

“She’s here. She left. She left all of them, my parents, her fiancée.”

He shrugged out of his jacket and placed it around her shoulders. Her father’s words about Meredith echoed in his mind. Cole decided he’d tell Melanie tomorrow. Tonight he wanted her to feel safe; he wanted her sister to feel safe. And he’d do anything to make sure they were, for the rest of their lives. “Is your sister all right?”

Melanie nodded. “She looks tired, but a bit like the old Meredith. Quite the day, huh? First my crazy father, now my sister. My family is about as complicated as they get.” Her voice started out as being sarcastic but then wobbled at the end and she turned from him, placing her hands over her face.

“I don’t care how complicated your family is.”

“Really? You just lost a huge deal today.”

“Don’t do that, sweetheart. Not with me,” he said gruffly. Her lips parted and her chin wobbled. He turned so that he was facing her again. He wanted her to see his eyes when he spoke. He didn’t want any hiding, any misinterpretations. “You know who I am. What I believe in, what I value in my life. Three days before Sarah died, I looked into her eyes and lied to her. The only time in my life I’d ever looked someone square in the eyes and lied. But she begged me to move on after she died and find someone.” He squeezed her arms gently.

“I told her what she needed to hear. I would do anything to give her peace before she moved on. But I swear to God I sat and I lied. I never wanted to love like that again because I was so broken. I never thought I’d recover. I never thought I’d be a whole man again.” He stopped talking long enough to wipe the tears from Melanie’s eyes, to clear his throat, needing his voice to be clear.

“And then you entered my world, Mel, and blew everything apart. And I know now. I’d risk it all for you. I’d go to hell and back for a day, a night, a lifetime with you if you’ll have me. You make me want to believe in forever again. I want to grow old with you, sweetheart. I know how to feel and I’m a man who’s not afraid to love. And if you’ll let me, I’ll spend the rest of our lives loving you.”

Nothing could have prepared him for the emotion that coursed through his veins. He would never underestimate the woman who stood in front of him, or the power of the love he had for her. She’d made him love and live again. She made him believe in the future, in the power of hope. Everything inside him, every part he’d closed off, every part that had been saved only for Sarah, reopened when Melanie melted into him. She bunched her hands around his waist, taking a fistful of his shirt, and she buried her face into his chest.

He pulled back slightly, only enough so he could see her face. He wanted her to know he knew who he was kissing. He wanted her to know he was thinking only of her, not of Sarah. Her.

“Mel,” he murmured. Her lips parted, and he could feel the faint tremor that ran through her. “I want you to know how badly I want you. I want you to know it’s you I see in front of me, your lips I want against mine forever.” He leaned down, hovering for a moment, shocked by his own self-control when he still didn’t kiss her, but it was imperative she knew going into this that she was the only woman on his mind. He wanted to linger here, in this space, where only Melanie existed, where it was only her scent filling him.

Melanie placed her hands on his chest and he shut his eyes briefly, reveling in the blood that rushed through his body at her touch. When her hands reached his neck he opened his eyes and took her hand in his, lifting her palm to his lips. He breathed her name against the warm skin and slowly tugged her into him, until her breasts pressed against him, and he could feel the rapid rise and fall of her chest. He bent to kiss the tender spot of skin under her earlobe and then took the lobe between his teeth, his hands going to her waist as she leaned into him. He kissed a path until he finally took her mouth under his, and she tasted even better than he remembered.